Litiquette2

[lexieredefined]

Note: No question when I got up this morning left me at at loss! I think I've become addicted to this thread.

Me too! I kept checking during my commute (I'm not driving) and no question!

 

[BradBigBrain]

Slips in a little later than usual......

I've often read that intelligence and wit are the most sought after characteristics for a potential Lit partner. Finding that match is always relative to one's own intelligence. You might be super smart, and I'm not so smart, which could mean I would covet you for your intelligence but there's a good chance you wouldn't be interested.

How big a gap is reasonable in intelligence. Does intelligence, like water, seek it's own level. Or can two people flourish even though there's a big gap?

I think that people can and do find happiness and flourish without being a match in intelligence and wit. Opposites attract.

That said, I don't think it would work for me.

 

[rubydlite]

I think that people can and do find happiness and flourish without being a match in intelligence and wit. Opposites attract.

That said, I don't think it would work for me.

Do you think they match because they're opposites...or different kinds of intelligent?

 

[All_4_Love]

Intelligence can be defined in so many different forms. Where one person's intellect may be very high, another not so much, but yet that person could be intelligent in other matters.

This is why the term "intellectual match" is a tough one for me to comprehend fully. Is there even such a thing?

And if so, would you want to be matched? I like the idea of being partnered with a man more intelligent than I, as I feel that learning things from him would be something that I would not only enjoy, but enables me to hold him in high regard. I like holding my partner in high regard. I like to feel as though a man is superior to me. I will look for qualities to admire in him for this reason.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Do you think they match because they're opposites...or different kinds of intelligent?

Perhaps it is different kinds of intelligent. There's the witty almost boisterous kind of intelligence and a quiet kind that understands the wit and intelligence.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I think every relationship has its pivot point(s). Some might be grounded in activities, or values, etc. And I think that as long as both people can function comfortably within those realms, and both people's needs are being met where they value it the most then the relationship can work. That said, I can't imagine a healthy relationship between two people that are seriously mismatched in intelligence.

 

[All_4_Love]

The subject of healthy relationships makes me think of a whole other aspect of intelligence, that of emotional intelligence, and how when that is mismatched, it seems the outcome of an unhealthy relationship is very likely.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Lexie said it very well.

My most successful relationships has involved complimentary and roughly equal levels of intelligence. That is the environment in which you thrive together.

I think that same dynamic holds true in emotional intelligence as well.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Lexie said it very well.

My most successful relationships has involved complimentary and roughly equal levels of intelligence. That is the environment in which you thrive together.

I think that same dynamic holds true in emotional intelligence as well.

Ooooohhh... emotional intelligence. Great point. It is equally important, I would agree. I have known very smart people who have none, and it's... not very comfortable.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I think the balance of emotional intelligence is important among partners. If the distance between the two is too great, then it can be a drag on the relationship - having to spend too much energy trying to bridge the distance, seeking reinforcement or understanding that simply isn't there. The cycle of it is important too - fast or slow, the better synched they are, the easier it is to maintain the relationship.

 

[jameslewis]

Slips in a little later than usual......

I've often read that intelligence and wit are the most sought after characteristics for a potential Lit partner. Finding that match is always relative to one's own intelligence. You might be super smart, and I'm not so smart, which could mean I would covet you for your intelligence but there's a good chance you wouldn't be interested.

How big a gap is reasonable in intelligence. Does intelligence, like water, seek it's own level. Or can two people flourish even though there's a big gap?

More than intelligence, I think, trust is to be valued. Intelligence can add dimension to a relationship, but the relationship has to be grounded on something rock solid - for me, that's trust.

 

[MedicalMuse]

More than intelligence, I think, trust is to be valued. Intelligence can add dimension to a relationship, but the relationship has to be grounded on something rock solid - for me, that's trust.

I agree with this. Well said. If you're going to share your body, virtually or physically, you have to trust the person with whom you're sharing. Even if it's only physical, you still have to trust that they won't make you feel like less of a person for sharing yourself.

 

[Callmetim]

I agree with this. Well said. If you're going to share your body, virtually or physically, you have to trust the person with whom you're sharing. Even if it's only physical, you still have to trust that they won't make you feel like less of a person for sharing yourself.

I am careful as to who I reach out to and communicate with on Lit. I have met so many wonderful folks and enjoyed them all. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I would like to think this behavior does not go on, but from this comment, I must take off my optimism goggles and look at reality.

All that said, there are those who enjoy the humiliation side of BDSM which, ironically, requires quite possibly more trust than I could imagine.

MM, if someone has made you feel like less of a person on here, I believe there is a virtual kneecap breaking service that can be rented out.

 

[dutchrain]

I started to quote Chained's question, then Lexie's respond, BBB's, Collar's, Paul's, Rainshine's and James'.

I am not quoting them, since you all nearly said it all.

Intelligence is important, but not the most important thing in a relationship. Trust is important, emotional intelligence is important, humor is important, but without love and/or respect for each other any relationship is doomed.

 

[rubydlite]

Also, rubydlite, your AV is the sexiest thing since Hugh Jackman.

♡ up there with Hugh....thank you.

 

[ChainedUp]

Good morning happy Litiquette-izans!

Most of us, according to the poll, know what's it like to experience that first time of playing on line. But what made you do it? Was it the yearning for someone that was so strong, you just needed it? Were you taken some smooth talking person that convinced you it was what you wanted? Or were you the aggressor, wanting what you want, and leaving no stone uncovered to get what you wanted?

Why did you play that very first time?

 

[BradBigBrain]

Good morning happy Litiquette-izans!

Most of us, according to the poll, know what's it like to experience that first time of playing on line. But what made you do it? Was it the yearning for someone that was so strong, you just needed it? Were you taken some smooth talking person that convinced you it was what you wanted? Or were you the aggressor, wanting what you want, and leaving no stone uncovered to get what you wanted?

Why did you play that very first time?

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I can't believe this actually happened to me. I was chatting with someone on line and naturally the conversation turned to sex.

.....

 

[Paul_Chance]

For me, the first cyber experience was a very natural extension of a flirtatious relationship. She had mentioned that she was going to take a shower, so I offered to join her, she asked what I was going to do in the shower...and off we went. Since I am a person who is strongly influenced by the written word, it opened up a whole avenue of sexuality for me - live, interactive erotica. We live in an amazing age. What made me do it? Just pure simple sexual desire, a willingness to try something new, and a frank and open approach to the many possible variants of sexuality.

 

[dutchrain]

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I can't believe this actually happened to me. I was chatting with someone on line and naturally the conversation turned to sex.

.....

This.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Good morning happy Litiquette-izans!

Most of us, according to the poll, know what's it like to experience that first time of playing on line. But what made you do it? Was it the yearning for someone that was so strong, you just needed it? Were you taken some smooth talking person that convinced you it was what you wanted? Or were you the aggressor, wanting what you want, and leaving no stone uncovered to get what you wanted?

Why did you play that very first time?

It happened years ago by accident in an AOL chat room (ha! Remember those?). I was talking with a friend, it got kind of flirty, then porny. We acted out having sex and afterwards it was like "Did we just..." "Yeah, we did..."

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I. Love. Erotica.
Always have...
Ridiculous as it sounds, the first time for me I was simply writing a bit of erotica for someone here whose post caught my eye. I never expected them to write back Ahhhh, too be so naive again.
So I was an unintended initiator. Story of my life

 

[rubydlite]

Good morning happy Litiquette-izans!

Most of us, according to the poll, know what's it like to experience that first time of playing on line. But what made you do it? Was it the yearning for someone that was so strong, you just needed it? Were you taken some smooth talking person that convinced you it was what you wanted? Or were you the aggressor, wanting what you want, and leaving no stone uncovered to get what you wanted?

Why did you play that very first time?

My first time ever was different than my first lit time. I had a friend I bounced stories off of. Steamy excerpts turned into actually flirting. Then I found lit. Athe time I was needing something and someone came along who expertly scaled my 'not going there' walls. He seemed to know exactly what buttons to push and was able to draw out parts of me I thought lost. Being a smooth talker helped

 

[BradBigBrain]

My first time ever was different than my first lit time. I had a friend I bounced stories off of. Steamy excerpts turned into actually flirting. Then I found lit. Athe time I was needing something and someone came along who expertly scaled my 'not going there' walls. He seemed to know exactly what buttons to push and was able to draw out parts of me I thought lost. Being a smooth talker helped

I was glad to have helped.

 

[MedicalMuse]

I am careful as to who I reach out to and communicate with on Lit. I have met so many wonderful folks and enjoyed them all. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I would like to think this behavior does not go on, but from this comment, I must take off my optimism goggles and look at reality.

All that said, there are those who enjoy the humiliation side of BDSM which, ironically, requires quite possibly more trust than I could imagine.

MM, if someone has made you feel like less of a person on here, I believe there is a virtual kneecap breaking service that can be rented out.

Nah, I truly hope he's happy. But I am much more careful. The whole look before you leap thing.

But, I'd like to know the purveyor of this virtual kneecap breaking service, and what they charge for a job. (My phone typed "john" there, and now I'm curious to what my phone gets up to when I'm not around...)

 

[rubydlite]

I was glad to have helped.

You know how your smooth talk of cooking makes me tick