Litiquette2

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

*takes off judges robe and dons kingly one*

Sorry, but chained just not PM'd me and asked to take care of his thread. He said:



Here is today's question:

Good morning Literoticonianitizens! Happy election Tuesday to ye all. Hopefully you went out and voted. So politics comes from the Latin word "poly" meaning "many" and the word "tic" meaning "tic". It's a pretty divisive issue. How about for you? How much emphasis do you place on politics? Do you care? How about in your relationships? Does it matter if your partner has a different view than you? Do you discuss politics with your partners?

Hmmm... isn't politics one of the subjects that we kind of unanimously agreed in an earlier question that it wasn't good to discuss? Though, I can appreciate that we are really only discussing discussing politics, and not actually discussing politics
I have participated in local politics, held posts for my voting precinct. It is... eye opening to say the very least. I do care about politics, and don't care what anyone thinks about what I think about issues And I try not to care about what others think, but when I see them swallowing some hook, line and sinker of some obvious crap I admit that I am hard pressed to keep my mouth shut

 

[Endless_Night]

I mostly talk about my massive wang. Women just go crazy for it. So, obviously they all want to hear me talk about it.

Politics - I'm not in it so it doesn't mean anything to me.

Religion - I mostly like hearing women refer to me as their god.

For some reason this answer strikes me as hilarious!

I need a like button.

 

[Endless_Night]

Good morning Literoticonianitizens! Happy election Tuesday to ye all. Hopefully you went out and voted. So politics comes from the Latin word "poly" meaning "many" and the word "tic" meaning "tic". It's a pretty divisive issue. How about for you? How much emphasis do you place on politics? Do you care? How about in your relationships? Does it matter if your partner has a different view than you? Do you discuss politics with your partners?

Meh. I suppose it would be a problem if the politics were too diverse in a particularly intimate relationship, but on the whole, not something I think much about.

Do you have Lit envy of anyone? Someone that carries themselves here in such a manner that leaves you impresed. No need to name names, of course

I don't know if I go so far to call it envy, but there are certainly a couple whose wit I admire. And a couple more who impress me with their genuine interest and generosity in helping others.

 

[stickygirl]

Envy is a sin so I can't admit to it, but I do admire the talents of numerous people on Lit and have crushes on a few too.
Mostly I admire people who never post anything snarky and only have kind things to say.

 

[dutchrain]

There are quite some people here on Lit I admire. On some I have a crush. I don't really envy them though. As Vicious said, there are people who seem to be able to balance sexy, humour and compassion gracefully. I am not too sure about snark. Between people who know each other it usually goes well, but if a stranger gets caught it might leave a bad taste.

 

[TheSilverLining]

Do you have Lit envy of anyone? Someone that carries themselves here in such a manner that leaves you impresed. No need to name names, of course

Not entirely sure if envy is the right word....
I have Lit girl-crushes, absolutely. Female posters that I hugely respect for one reason or another. Women who you can always rely on to post something witty, insightful or just plain hot.
I'll name no names.
Sexy-as-hell.

 

[Noor]

There are people whose post I admire in the face of adversary.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Hmmm... isn't politics one of the subjects that we kind of unanimously agreed in an earlier question that it wasn't good to discuss? Though, I can appreciate that we are really only discussing discussing politics, and not actually discussing politics
I have participated in local politics, held posts for my voting precinct. It is... eye opening to say the very least. I do care about politics, and don't care what anyone thinks about what I think about issues And I try not to care about what others think, but when I see them swallowing some hook, line and sinker of some obvious crap I admit that I am hard pressed to keep my mouth shut

I did try to keep the question away from political beliefs, but rather the importance of the concept in one's life and relationships. I think everyone kept away from the general board type crucifixions that usually go along with politics.

 

[Lord Pmann]

To answer yesterday's second question, I don't envy anyone. I feel pretty confident about who I am and I feel really lucky with the girl I have, the luckiest, and the friends I have. I don't keep loads of friends. But those who I have as friends, I enjoy them and wouldn't wish for others.

 

[ChainedUp]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

 

[rubydlite]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

In real life? On lit?
It all depends on what everyone is after. The fantasy part of me and the realistic side of me want to answer differently so....that is all....

 

[ChainedUp]

In Lit. In RL, I'd most likely size up the situation and make a decision right on the spot.

In real life? On lit?
It all depends on what everyone is after. The fantasy part of me and the realistic side of me want to answer differently so....that is all....

 

[stickygirl]

Momma bear needs diversity in the genes of her offspring. So does Poppa bear. So they both play the game because it's fun and it's in our nature.
Do you stop when you find out? That depends on if you're home-breaker. I'd back off. If the other relationship is on the rocks, I don't want to be the reason it sinks - especially if there's kids involved.
In cyber world? Pfft - unless one party can't separate reality from cyber, I can't see it matters.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

I'll give you a hand, mate. I can provide a refresher course if you need it.

 

[ViciousTease]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

In RL and on Lit, I would stop the 'more than platonic' pursuit immediately. If he picked up the pursuit, I'd just ask for some clarification.

Either way, I'd continue to pursue a platonic friendship. It really is disheartening that so many I've thought were friends ceased to be when I didn't want 'more'.

 

[Lord Pmann]

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

I don't look for any friendships other than platonic reasons at this point.

But I think if someone let's you know that they are involved, they are letting you know that they aren't interested. I think it's a polite way of doing so. I think that's how anyone with any social skills would interpret that.

 

[Endless_Night]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

Involvement is a loose term. How involved are we talking? Most relationships aren’t exclusive initially. Many on Lit even start out with the understanding exclusivity is not on the table. If your party of interest turned out to be involved I’d think it would depend on the status of their relationship and what you wanted yourself. Presumably they would let you know if their involvement equaled a no through fair. Of course it they made it clear they weren’t interested that would, and should, be an end of the matter.

As far as knowing the other person…. Hmmm. If it was a friend I would certainly back off in a heartbeat. Likewise it if was someone I disliked on a personal level.

 

[Noor]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

Considering the "signals" I have supposedly sent throughout my life, I say signals are often in the eye of the beholder and not necessarily real in any way.

I don't get hints and I don't give them.

 

[Thandi]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

If someone is in an exclusive relationship then definitely stop. If someone says definitively stop, then stop.

If however both parties are enjoying said pursuit, discuss it and see what you both want. Sometimes something really good might come out of it.

 

[Noor]

If someone is in an exclusive relationship then definitely stop. If someone says definitively stop, then stop.

If however both parties are enjoying said pursuit, discuss it and see what you both want. Sometimes something really good might come out of it.

some people flirt for fun, esp. in europe.

 

[SmileyGirl]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

I agree with Thandi, if the relationship is exclusive, most definitely stop. If the other party asks you to stop, don't embarrass yourself and keep pursuing, it's not attractive. My dilemma would be if I knew the person, would I tell them? Or would I end up making things worse. I would hate to be in that position. But to me, if you know someone is in a Lit Relationship from posts etc, even if you don't know who the other party is you shouldn't pursue. It's wrong and selfish but I know that's my view and not everyone's.

If the relationship isn't exclusive and that's a definite fact (because nobody lies on Lit....do they?) You're both consenting adults

 

[dutchrain]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

If someone is in an exclusive relationship then definitely stop. If someone says definitively stop, then stop.

If however both parties are enjoying said pursuit, discuss it and see what you both want. Sometimes something really good might come out of it.

some people flirt for fun, esp. in europe.

I agree with Thandi, if the relationship is exclusive, most definitely stop. If the other party asks you to stop, don't embarrass yourself and keep pursuing, it's not attractive. My dilemma would be if I knew the person, would I tell them? Or would I end up making things worse. I would hate to be in that position. But to me, if you know someone is in a Lit Relationship from posts etc, even if you don't know who the other party is you shouldn't pursue. It's wrong and selfish but I know that's my view and not everyone's.

If the relationship isn't exclusive and that's a definite fact (because nobody lies on Lit....do they?) You're both consenting adults

It is so easy when I come to a question a bit late, I only have to multi-quote a few of you clever people.

Like Noor said, some people love to flirt. It is fun, it is interesting, it is a wonderful pastime.

If someone you are flirting with doesn't tell you to stop, continue.
If you know the other person, the other person knows you, and they know their (Lit)partner/involvement. I mean, they know the one you are flirting with -pursuing as Chained called it- loves to flirt (I hope).

 

[Lord Pmann]

This has happened to me in an obvious way three times.

On one of those occasions the guy pursuing me persisted to pursue in spite of knowing my situation and me making it clear I was not up for it. Usually I am quite dense in picking up that men are interested in me, I just don't have a radar for it at all, but this guy made it very clear and was very blunt about what he was after, repeatedly. In spite of knowing my situation he kept at me, and at me, and it becomes a very awkward interaction, and it's now to the point where he no longer speaks to me. Which is fine by me, if a person can't respect my boundaries then he's not someone I want to be around in any manner.

On the other two occasions, it was/is understood that I'm with someone else and that has been respected and my friendship with them has been important and valued above being their wank fodder.

TL: DR; Respect boundaries or leave my orbit.

Oh snap, muthafuckas!!!

 

[SweetSam42]

Hmm, the quality of my questions seems to have dipped a little. I'll get right on that.

So, as we are wont to do, there are times when we pursue friendships for more than platonic reasons. And in those pursuits things can be going along quite smoothly and then you discover that the other person is already involved with another. Once the signals are picked up, you're informed so it's not as if you are being lead on. But what should you do? They didn't tell you to stop pursuing. Do you stop, do you continue the pursuit? Do you wait for them to put up a stop sign. Does it make a difference if we know the other person?

I think it's much easier to sort out what a cyber relationship is and what it won't be (ie, exclusive, open, etc) as soon as possible. As Thandi and others have said, discuss. This is a text-based medium, and hints and hemming and hawing don't always translate. If you don't want a certain type of attention, say so. If you aren't sure if you're pushing too hard, ask.

Just because someone is in a relationship with someone else here, publicly or not, doesn't mean they're not open to something else. When all that comes to light, and you're not sure what's on the table, again, just ask.

And respect what the person tells you. I don't like being continually asked/pushed into something I'm uncomfortable with, and I'll soon resent you if you keep at it.

Games irritate the fuck out of me, and I don't like to be played with. Ask questions, discuss, and respect their wishes.

 

[Bitesback]

I think it's much easier to sort out what a cyber relationship is and what it won't be (ie, exclusive, open, etc) as soon as possible. As Thandi and others have said, discuss. This is a text-based medium, and hints and hemming and hawing don't always translate. If you don't want a certain type of attention, say so. If you aren't sure if you're pushing too hard, ask.

Just because someone is in a relationship with someone else here, publicly or not, doesn't mean they're not open to something else. When all that comes to light, and you're not sure what's on the table, again, just ask.

And respect what the person tells you. I don't like being continually asked/pushed into something I'm uncomfortable with, and I'll soon resent you if you keep at it.

Games irritate the fuck out of me, and I don't like to be played with. Ask questions, discuss, and respect their wishes.

Thandi, Fakeasmile and Sam have hit the nail on the head with regard to pursuing someone whom you discover is in a relationship here. I'll add to that to respect all parties.

In chatting with people here, we may invest time and often reveal things about ourselves not necessarily known by our closest friends away from this site, our family and lovers. All intimacy, platonic or otherwise, should be respected. If you feel you need to move on with someone else, or branch out and play with others, or move right out of here, respect that person enough to tell them.

More specific to Chained's question, it's the word 'discover' that I feel the need to discuss. Did the other person tell you? Did you hear it on the grapevine? Or, did you read about in a post?

The method of discovery is likely to effect your reaction. Honesty works and helps build friendships on any level. Gossip can fester and confuse us and may create tension and cause confrontation. Reading about it in a thread, though, rings alarm bells.

If you become aware that someone with whom you are moving beyond a platonic relationship may be involved with another, find out where things stand, only you can decide if continuing is for you.

Still on the theme of respect.....One last thing, if you're overjoyed that you've found someone shiny and new who has you all aflutter here and you want to tell the world, check with the other person to make sure they are as happy to have your relationship celebrated in a post. Privacy should be respected. As should the feelings of others. Reading about it a post can be a bitch of a way for others to find out their companionship is no longer required.