Litiquette2

[ChainedUp]

Happy Thursday!

As a follow on to yesterday's topic, have you ever been so smitten with someone that is taken that you decide to become friends with them, tossing out enough innuendos that it doesn't good too far down the platonic road as you wait for fate to intervene? Or what about someone that initially rebuffed your advances have you ever persisted?These are very fine lines to live on. Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. Then what about if fate never intervenes, are you a hopeless, hapless cause?

 

[dutchrain]

Happy Thursday!

As a follow on to yesterday's topic, have you ever been so smitten with someone that is taken that you decide to become friends with them, tossing out enough innuendos that it doesn't good too far down the platonic road as you wait for fate to intervene? Or what about someone that initially rebuffed your advances have you ever persisted?These are very fine lines to live on. Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. Then what about if fate never intervenes, are you a hopeless, hapless cause?

I have told someone I would be interested if said person was open/free for more again, but that is all. I don't feel I left anything to fate in that case. If I find that, after a few PMs, there is no or not enough connection, innuendoes won't start from my side ad I won't or only barely react to innuendoes coming from the other person.

I won't keep pouring out innuendoes over a person who has told me he isn't interested. Actually I most often wait for a person to start innuendoes on me, and I'll make sure (by asking) if he meant what I meant he meant.

If, on the other hand, someone starts an open innuendo on a thread, by reacting to a asparagus recipe for example, I'll most often happily join the fun and sometimes it results in more.

Most people I call friends on here, have much more to give than the means to a quick release, and that, to me, is much more important.

 

[stickygirl]

Unrequited love: I've had one and when I think about them I feel a little sad.

I've had some guys be quite persistent here. One guy was quite chatty, then somehow we ended up cybering… but I didn't feel good about it either during or after. He's still chatty but I feel guilty about it.

I've never been the one doing the chasing but, yea, plenty of innuendos have come my way. Mostly I seem to get treated as a kid sister, but that's ok right now, because I don't show my boobies or throw out many innuendos myself. I think people pick up that I'm kinda stand-offish about cybering generally.

 

[Endless_Night]

Happy Thursday!

As a follow on to yesterday's topic, have you ever been so smitten with someone that is taken that you decide to become friends with them, tossing out enough innuendos that it doesn't good too far down the platonic road as you wait for fate to intervene? Or what about someone that initially rebuffed your advances have you ever persisted?These are very fine lines to live on. Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. Then what about if fate never intervenes, are you a hopeless, hapless cause?

I’m not really one to pursue, so I guess that leaves me a hopeless, hapless cause.

It’s not fear of rejection, rather part of my kink. But, being a woman, it’s not much of a handicap. Guys tend to pursue, or at least the ones I’d be interested in.

The friend zone? Hmmm. Once I’m comfortable in a relationship I’m not shy. Actually, to be honest, I can be pretty, darn demanding. So…I guess if platonic turned to romantic or lust, and I was smitten enough, I might take the initiative?

I’m not all that sure. I don’t see myself possessing the witty, sparkling repartee needed to make a success of pursuit. Just how it is.

 

[ViciousTease]

Happy Thursday!

As a follow on to yesterday's topic, have you ever been so smitten with someone that is taken that you decide to become friends with them, tossing out enough innuendos that it doesn't good too far down the platonic road as you wait for fate to intervene? Or what about someone that initially rebuffed your advances have you ever persisted?These are very fine lines to live on. Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. Then what about if fate never intervenes, are you a hopeless, hapless cause?

No, I've never started a friendship with someone who isn't available in the hopes of something more. That sounds like heartache waiting to happen. I'm not really a "pursuer" though.

I tend to flirt outrageously on the boards. In my opinion, its harmless on the playground. Having said that, i find it difficult to publicly flirt with someone if we are or have been involved.

In private, I am more cautious with my words. Even so, I'm guilty of sending mixed signals at times. Relationships are complicated. When in doubt, ask. I think most people will be honest about their feelings if you give them a chance to.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I’m not really one to pursue, so I guess that leaves me a hopeless, hapless cause.

It’s not fear of rejection, rather part of my kink. But, being a woman, it’s not much of a handicap. Guys tend to pursue, or at least the ones I’d be interested in.

The friend zone? Hmmm. Once I’m comfortable in a relationship I’m not shy. Actually, to be honest, I can be pretty, darn demanding. So…I guess if platonic turned to romantic or lust, and I was smitten enough, I might take the initiative?

I’m not all that sure. I don’t see myself possessing the witty, sparkling repartee needed to make a success of pursuit. Just how it is.

Guys don't usually need witty, sparking repartee. You can many times have them with "hello"

I was really, super attracted to a guy one time IRL, and yes, I threw the innuendos out there to make sure it was known He was older than me, and awesome, and patient, and without ever saying anything outright, he pursued the intellectual side of a friendship with me. I now know that is what I found attractive, and so I really learned a lot from him. We are still friends, and every time I see him we talk non-stop the whole time. He's one of my favorite people on the planet I have learned a lot from him.
However, I would never pursue anyone who rebuffed me. I have had a few people on here who were looking for relationships when I just wanted a quick fling. I certainly would not continue to pursue them when I know I cannot give what they are looking for. Even though I could get immediate satisfaction from them if I tried, that just wouldn't feel right.

 

[Endless_Night]

Unrequited love: I've had one and when I think about them I feel a little sad.

I've definitely had crushes I didn't pursue, and have...wondered about.

< Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. >

This caught my attention and started me thinking. Obviously it will vary from case to case, but overall, is it harder, more problematic to maintain a Lit relationship over a real life one? Or easier and simpler?

I see where it could go either way....

 

[Endless_Night]

Guys don't usually need witty, sparking repartee. You can many times have them with "hello"

Noted.

However, I would never pursue anyone who rebuffed me. I have had a few people on here who were looking for relationships when I just wanted a quick fling. I certainly would not continue to pursue them when I know I cannot give what they are looking for. Even though I could get immediate satisfaction from them if I tried, that just wouldn't feel right.

Yeah, I don't think I'd continue to pursue if rebuffed. My interest would probably wane anyway, if they weren't interested. And ditto with someone pursuing a relationship when I was not. That's just...mean.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

This caught my attention and started me thinking. Obviously it will vary from case to case, but overall, is it harder, more problematic to maintain a Lit relationship over a real life one? Or easier and simpler?

I see where it could go either way....

I think it depends on what you want out of the relationship. Surface level relationships are simple. Ones that go deeper seem harder to me than real life. The reason being is that many times people are operating on their perceptions of each other, or even ideals that they want to be true. Or, presenting the idealistic sides of themselves only, and hiding the ogre That lack of real contact and connection can be hard to overcome in a deeper relationship.

 

[SmileyGirl]

Happy Thursday!

As a follow on to yesterday's topic, have you ever been so smitten with someone that is taken that you decide to become friends with them, tossing out enough innuendos that it doesn't good too far down the platonic road as you wait for fate to intervene? Or what about someone that initially rebuffed your advances have you ever persisted?These are very fine lines to live on. Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. Then what about if fate never intervenes, are you a hopeless, hapless cause?

Nope to the first part. If someone is taken you should respect that. I think tossing out innuendos is a tad pathetic even if you think you're hilarious. It would wind me up if someone was actively trying to creep their way in.

I wouldn't embarrass myself by chasing anyone and certainly not someone who wasn't interested to begin with. Who does that? That's really not a good place to be, to think so little of yourself.
No integrity in either of those scenarios to me. Not the kind of guy I would want to be 20 foot near to.

 

[stickygirl]

I was really, super attracted to a guy one time IRL, and yes, I threw the innuendos out there to make sure it was known He was older than me, and awesome, and patient, and without ever saying anything outright, he pursued the intellectual side of a friendship with me. I now know that is what I found attractive, and so I really learned a lot from him. We are still friends, and every time I see him we talk non-stop the whole time. He's one of my favorite people on the planet I have learned a lot from him.

Snap - I have an older mentor like that. I really value his friendship

 

[SweetSam42]

Happy Thursday!

As a follow on to yesterday's topic, have you ever been so smitten with someone that is taken that you decide to become friends with them, tossing out enough innuendos that it doesn't good too far down the platonic road as you wait for fate to intervene? Or what about someone that initially rebuffed your advances have you ever persisted?These are very fine lines to live on. Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. Then what about if fate never intervenes, are you a hopeless, hapless cause?

As one who does not do the pursuing here, I'm going to answer from the other side of the equation on this one.

I'd say it would depend on how aggressive your innuendos were. You're right that it's a fine line, and that's hard to define. If you want anything with me, stick around and be nice to me. Show interest in me other than my boobs. You never know what could happen if things change down the road.

But know that things may never change, and if the thought that you'll never get sexy time from me ever bothers you, then back off and move on. Otherwise, you look desperate and if you have no respect for what I'm saying, and that's never attractive.

 

[All_4_Love]

Happy Thursday!

As a follow on to yesterday's topic, have you ever been so smitten with someone that is taken that you decide to become friends with them, tossing out enough innuendos that it doesn't good too far down the platonic road as you wait for fate to intervene? Or what about someone that initially rebuffed your advances have you ever persisted?These are very fine lines to live on. Cross over and you ruin it by appearing over bearing, stay too far away that you become a distant thought. Then what about if fate never intervenes, are you a hopeless, hapless cause?

I can't answer the first 2 questions, as being the one to pursue another, or being assertive toward the development of a relationship is not my strong point. It just feels awful to me; therefore, I have never done it, and I doubt that I ever will.

But the third part, what if fate never intervenes? Are you a hopeless, hapless cause? No, not at all. Fate always intervenes. Fate may not intervene and create the situation that you were hoping for, or had in mind, but that is still fate intervening...redirecting you to the path that you should be on.

 

[dutchrain]

I can't answer the first 2 questions, as being the one to pursue another, or being assertive toward the development of a relationship is not my strong point. It just feels awful to me; therefore, I have never done it, and I doubt that I ever will.

But the third part, what if fate never intervenes? Are you a hopeless, hapless cause? No, not at all. Fate always intervenes. Fate may not intervene and create the situation that you were hoping for, or had in mind, but that is still fate intervening...redirecting you to the path that you should be on.

'You can't always get what you want,
You can't always get what you want,
You can't always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes well you might find, you get what you need."

 

[All_4_Love]

'You can't always get what you want,
You can't always get what you want,
You can't always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes well you might find, you get what you need."

Haha! Yeah baby.

So awesome

 

[dutchrain]

Haha! Yeah baby.

So awesome

*smiles* Good poets!

 

[Lord Pmann]

What's the saying?

"Sometimes she's just not into you"?

Yeah. Sometimes the girl just doesn't want you and you have to accept it. By you I don't mean me, of course.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Not sure where Papa Chained is today, so I'll throw out a question for him...

What has been the single most beneficial thing for you coming to Lit?

 

[Endless_Night]

Not sure where Papa Chained is today, so I'll throw out a question for him...

What has been the single most beneficial thing for you coming to Lit?

And here I was, thinking it was going to be a Friday free for all!

For me, hands down, it would have to be the realization of my inner kink. While I'm still not sure how to handle it, or get it met, having an explanation for why I feel the way I do has been very liberating in an odd sort of way.

 

[rubydlite]

Not sure where Papa Chained is today, so I'll throw out a question for him...

What has been the single most beneficial thing for you coming to Lit?

For me, like Endless_Night, it was discovering my Kink. Before I found lit I was feeling a bit lost, guilty for what I perceived to be my issues, and lacking a concrete identity beyond wife and mother. Since I've been here I'm more comfortable in my real life skin than I ever was before.

down side...now that I know who I am...or more precisely that I am comfortable with who I am...it really plays havoc with getting it all to mesh with real*****.

 

[Endless_Night]

For me, like Endless_Night, it was discovering my Kink. Before I found lit I was feeling a bit lost, guilty for what I perceived to be my issues, and lacking a concrete identity beyond wife and mother. Since I've been here I'm more comfortable in my real life skin than I ever was before.

down side...now that I know who I am...or more precisely that I am comfortable with who I am...it really plays havoc with getting it all to mesh with real*****.

I have to agree with Ruby’s downside. From a impartial view, kink realization has actually created more turmoil and more problems in real life than keeping it suppressed. Still, now at least I know what I want and need to a certain degree.

Whether I’ll realize my goal is probably questionable. I suspect it’s going to take more work than I’d initially hoped...which makes me sad.

 

[rubydlite]

I have to agree with Ruby’s downside. From a impartial view, kink realization has actually created more turmoil and more problems in real life than keeping it suppressed. Still, now at least I know what I want and need to a certain degree.

Whether I’ll realize my goal is probably questionable. I suspect it’s going to take more work than I’d initially hoped...which makes me sad.

I suppose the big struggle is having the courage to let go and start fresh without guilt *terrifying*

 

[PeteHulbert37]

For me, like Endless_Night, it was discovering my Kink. Before I found lit I was feeling a bit lost, guilty for what I perceived to be my issues, and lacking a concrete identity beyond wife and mother. Since I've been here I'm more comfortable in my real life skin than I ever was before.

down side...now that I know who I am...or more precisely that I am comfortable with who I am...it really plays havoc with getting it all to mesh with real*****.

I can related.

Ever see the movie The Family Stone? There's a line in it. "You have a freak flag, you just don't let it fly." Something like that. I feel like I have discovered my freak flag, but in my current real life situation it would never happen. * sigh *

 

[Endless_Night]

I suppose the big struggle is having the courage to let go and start fresh without guilt *terrifying*

You know, I can actually start fresh, in my own way. (Slightly unusual situation.) But, it's still hard.

Figuring out what you need and want. Finding someone suitable to deliver said needs and wants. Finding a partner with the same goals. All are tricky. Plus, the kink realization, while great in it's way, comes with it's own set of baggage.

So tricky. And intimidating. Just thinking about all the ramifications makes me tired....

 

[stickygirl]

Not sure where Papa Chained is today, so I'll throw out a question for him...

What has been the single most beneficial thing for you coming to Lit?

Being accepted for who I am