Litiquette2

[Endless_Night]

*Googles vituperation*
Oh!
It's good here - you learn stuff

 

[jameslewis]

Kind of a follow up...

Do you guys and girls find that you are more or less trusting than you expected?

I think it cycles, more and less. I started skeptical, learned to open up, then learned quickly to be damn careful, ignored my own experiences and learned the same damn lesson. Now, just cautious, willing to trust, but cautious.

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

Cautious. Cautious is good. I wish I had been more cautious about clicking on the image link in Aqua's post! EEK

 

[pfflyerhot]

I question...

everyone's motives, including my own. I go overboard giving the benefit of doubt, and I'm honest to my own detriment, always. Call it a personal ...flaw.

 

[BradBigBrain]

everyone's motives, including my own. I go overboard giving the benefit of doubt, and I'm honest to my own detriment, always. Call it a personal ...flaw.

No doubt!

 

[Kat73]

Kind of a follow up...

Do you guys and girls find that you are more or less trusting than you expected?

I tend to be more trusting now than I used to be on some things, my yahoo I'd, my name, my email, personal info. I have learned to be more guarded emotionally.

 

[stickygirl]

I came here as an extremely trusting person, it never really entered my head that people would be anything but true.

Oddly (and disappointingly) enough, most of my shit experiences here have been with women.

It's a shame that people have to become more guarded and cautious, because it stops so many good things from happening: creativity is stifled by fear. I find a number of women posters very intimidating but I suspect they act that way because they've learnt to be prickly

 

[ChainedUp]

Well, well.....let me see if it really is like riding a bike.

Can one really go home again? Is it a realistic expectation that what was will be. How do you manage your expectations? Are you concerned that high expectations will lead to disappointment? And for those that claim to not have expectations, I don't believe you. Everyone has expectations. It's how you managed them, isn't it?

 

[stickygirl]

Well, well.....let me see if it really is like riding a bike.

Can one really go home again? Is it a realistic expectation that what was will be. How do you manage your expectations? Are you concerned that high expectations will lead to disappointment? And for those that claim to not have expectations, I don't believe you. Everyone has expectations. It's how you managed them, isn't it?

I didn't expect you to be away so long

Glad you're here again and I give this some sober thought

 

[stickygirl]

You can always come home, but things will never be as they were before you left. I think it's unrealistic to expect they ever would be.

The problem with going home is that you have changed, not your bedroom

 

[perkyT]

Hmmm.

ShineyDroplets & Stix gave RealWorld views that apply to Lit.

One takes a vacay from Lit, finds threads, litsters, and general attitude not to be the same...grumbles about the change...wanders off...sometimes nevah to return.

The PG is an everchanging environment, my expectations are never more than LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The PG is an everchanging environment, my expectations are never more than LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

No no no no!!!!

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRH5UH5gZOBL8YM4VKG08KPrlJ0kg1woNQBdpnZ74MzmbEpW8uVVomtvw

It depends how you leave and come back. Things pretty much always change. You change. The thread changes. The people change.

 

[perkyT]

No no no no!!!!

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRH5UH5gZOBL8YM4VKG08KPrlJ0kg1woNQBdpnZ74MzmbEpW8uVVomtvw

It depends how you leave and come back. Things pretty much always change. You change. The thread changes. The people change.

I didn't mean have fun on THIS thread!!

Exactly. That's why you have to be accepting...or rampage through the threads flaming everyone.

Hoky, sometimes it's a do as I say, not as I do situation. *snort*

 

[stickygirl]

Not always. Sometimes your bedroom gets turned into a craft room, or a laundry room, or a man cave. Sometimes the home changes more than the people returning to it.

Yea agreed - if I'd have mentioned about the storage boxes in my bedroom mad it would have distracted from the personal change
I think the post-university personal change is pretty major for any student. The home town seems kinda quaint when you get back; most people you knew have left too

 

[Thandi]

Well, well.....let me see if it really is like riding a bike.

Can one really go home again? Is it a realistic expectation that what was will be. How do you manage your expectations? Are you concerned that high expectations will lead to disappointment? And for those that claim to not have expectations, I don't believe you. Everyone has expectations. It's how you managed them, isn't it?

Welcome back...you've been missed!

You can go home, just realize that it most likely will be different.
You need to be a willow tree......bend with the wind....gracefully.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I didn't mean have fun on THIS thread!!

Good. Just so we are clear.

There ya go Papa Chained. I got it fixed for you. I whipped them back in shape, Generalissimo Pmann style.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I've found that those who really love you accept you with open arms when you come back home. The same or not.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Well, well.....let me see if it really is like riding a bike.

Can one really go home again? Is it a realistic expectation that what was will be. How do you manage your expectations? Are you concerned that high expectations will lead to disappointment? And for those that claim to not have expectations, I don't believe you. Everyone has expectations. It's how you managed them, isn't it?

I think you constantly manage your expectations. And they're different with every relationship. Sometimes things are great, then something happens and it throws off the whole balance.
My expectations are to have fun. If it ceases to be fun and causes me more grief than not, then it's time to move along.

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

I think you constantly manage your expectations. And they're different with every relationship. Sometimes things are great, then something happens and it throws off the whole balance.
My expectations are to have fun. If it ceases to be fun and causes me more grief than not, then it's time to move along.

This.

I'd add-some people have more patience for others for the timing of real life obligations, etc. I've very little interest in those that don't understand that I've got priorities outside of this place that will always come first.

 

[rubydlite]

Well, well.....let me see if it really is like riding a bike.

Can one really go home again? Is it a realistic expectation that what was will be. How do you manage your expectations? Are you concerned that high expectations will lead to disappointment? And for those that claim to not have expectations, I don't believe you. Everyone has expectations. It's how you managed them, isn't it?

Yes one can but nothing ever stays the same really. Manage expectations by not having any hard set ones. High expectations can...and...do lead to disappointment but that doesn't mean you should lower them either. Just make them flexible. If you can't or won't make certain expetation flexible then perhaps that situation is no.longer right for you.
(This is garbled and not quite what I mean....but it's early sans coffee). I hope somebody gets it....

 

[perkyT]

Good. Just so we are clear.

There ya go Papa Chained. I got it fixed for you. I whipped them back in shape, Generalissimo Pmann style.

Pfft. Whipped? Yeah. right. Into a frenzy.

I think you constantly manage your expectations. And they're different with every relationship. Sometimes things are great, then something happens and it throws off the whole balance.
My expectations are to have fun. If it ceases to be fun and causes me more grief than not, then it's time to move along.

Muse, this perfect.

 

[Violetvixen1]

My personal mantra has always been expect the worst, hope for the best. That way I'm always pleasantly surprised when my worst expectations aren't realized. Every once in a while, my worst expectations end up being a far sight prettier than the actual outcome. I just take it as it comes and move on. As for going home again, you can always go back home, but it will never be the same. You just find a new normal. Until you're parents tire of your lazy ass and kick you out, that is!

 

[Violetvixen1]

This.

I'd add-some people have more patience for others for the timing of real life obligations, etc. I've very little interest in those that don't understand that I've got priorities outside of this place that will always come first.

This ^^^^ 100 times over.

 

[All_4_Love]

Yes one can but nothing ever stays the same really. Manage expectations by not having any hard set ones. High expectations can...and...do lead to disappointment but that doesn't mean you should lower them either. Just make them flexible. If you can't or won't make certain expetation flexible then perhaps that situation is no.longer right for you.
(This is garbled and not quite what I mean....but it's early sans coffee). I hope somebody gets it....

I get it...

The only thing constant in life is change.

Accept this, and freedom from expectation will be yours.

ETA: And, I don't mean stay in a situation where your expectations are not being met. I just mean acceptance, or flexibility, as you put it, enables you to move on if the situation is no longer right for you.

I know true love is the kind of love without any expectation of what the other person should be, one of complete acceptance. I wonder what that feels like.

 

[Endless_Night]

Well, well.....let me see if it really is like riding a bike.

Can one really go home again? Is it a realistic expectation that what was will be. How do you manage your expectations? Are you concerned that high expectations will lead to disappointment? And for those that claim to not have expectations, I don't believe you. Everyone has expectations. It's how you managed them, isn't it?

Are we talking expectations in relationships here?

I like to be sure of my ground, so stick with situations where I’m comfortable. Typically, my expectations are high, but flexible. I have an idea where I’m headed, what I want, but adjust the parameters dependent on results, reactions, situations. All good, all workable.

Stepping outside my comfort zone makes me nervous and uncertain. I tend to shy away from situations where I have no reasonable control of my expectations. It’s just so…threatening? Not really quite the right word....

I am, perhaps, a little controlling when it comes to my environment.