Litiquette

[may_I_please]

The "it's just who I am" negates the sorry

If you feel guilty or bad about something you typed or did, apologise

If you don't, don't

But apologising insincerely ...well? Waste of letters IMO

 

[SweetSam42]

The "it's just who I am" negates the sorry

If you feel guilty or bad about something you typed or did, apologise

If you don't, don't

But apologising insincerely ...well? Waste of letters IMO

Agree. It's like that classic if-I-offended-anyone apology politicians are so fond of. Which sounds like an apology, but isn't one at all.

Wait, what was the question? I got wrapped up in a huge pet peeve of mine.

 

[stickygirl]

...and
http://www.verybestquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/NEVER-RUIN-AN-APOLOGY-WITH-AN-EXCUSE-quotes..jpg

 

[rubydlite]

... or when people say...."no offense....but"....and proceed to say something offensive.
As for sorry...I have sorry syndrome....I'm working on recognizing my need to really say it versus saying it out of guilt or to divert a situation. If someone bumps me at the store....I'll say sorry....

 

[cowslinger64]

I've blasted a few people here in my time.. sometimes it was very deserved, but there's been times it wasn't.....and when I realized I was wrong, I quickly apologized.

I don't normally trash someone unless they start it. Sometimes I'm shocked at people that I've never even seen before taking a shot at me. I'm not here for that, and it can be rather annoying to have to be an asshole to someone.

 

[SmileyGirl]

... or when people say...."no offense....but"....and proceed to say something offensive.
As for sorry...I have sorry syndrome....I'm working on recognizing my need to really say it versus saying it out of guilt or to divert a situation. If someone bumps me at the store....I'll say sorry....

I'm British we're amazing at saying sorry alllll the time. I do it too when I don't need to ruby and I know I shouldn't. But I will always say sorry if I offend anyone or if I'm in the wrong. I can't stand it when it choke's someone to say sorry when they're in the wrong. I don't like confrontation but I won't let someone take advantage either. One chance. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me as the saying goes.

I totally agree with May. Someone apologising then going on to say "but it's just who I am" with a shrug, just completely dissolves the apology. They don't mean it, they would be better to say nothing.
If you're sorry you're sorry. No excuses.

 

[JoyDyan]

Strolls in. Yeah, I'm late, do I need a note?

Apologies, I see them rarely in here. People tend to have a what you see is what you get attitude. Which I like but when there is a misstep shouldn't we say "Sorry" first and then explain that it's "just who I am"?

I'm sorry, I'm an asshole isn't the same as I'm sorry, but I'm an asshole.

I always apologize if I offend someone. I try not to offend, but written word is much more conducive to offending with sarcasm or humor....body language and inflection can convey these more easily. So occasionally it happens. It's never intentional unless you're rude to me first.

The apology with but I'm an asshole isn't an apology. It basically means I'm going to be an asshole, but maybe you could get off my back about it. It means bumpkus as an apology.

 

[Mindfondler]

Apologies, I see them rarely in here. People tend to have a what you see is what you get attitude. Which I like but when there is a misstep shouldn't we say "Sorry" first and then explain that it's "just who I am"?

I don't deliberately set out to antagonise people, so if I sense that I might have caused unintentional upset then I'll apologise sincerely for a miscommunication. It can be a painful step to take, but it usually feels better afterwards as I feel that I've taken responsibility for my part in any blame.

I don't generally subscribe to the school of "offence is taken, not given". It's not inherently wrong, but I've seen it trotted out too often inappropriately as a passive aggressive "justification" (similar to "Just saying!").

For me, the bottom line is that I'd rather apologise in the interests of harmony (even if I don't need to) than leave any resentment simmering away.
.

 

[dutchrain]

I am able to say sorry if I was wrong, I am also able to say sorry if someone feels I was wrong. I am also able to say sorry if someone bumps into me.

I believe it is better to apologize too often, than too seldom.

I agree with Joy, there is a huge difference between "Sorry, I am an asshole" and "I am sorry, but I am an asshole."

I also agree with Fondler, offense isn't only taken, some people give it just because they feel they have a right to say anything that comes to their minds. They should learn to think twice before they open their mouths or hit "send".

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

I've always viewed apologies as fake. In life and on the internet. I don't go out of my way to be insulting, but if people take my style of humor personally, I generally just ignore them after the first dust up. Sensitive Souls and Drama Queens can stay in their little world of victimhood.

 

[BreezySnow]

Sometimes things can be taken out of context and if I did it I will apologize and if someone took what I said out of context I will try to explain it better. I don't look to piss people off but online it is bound to happen because as stickygirl said, you can't read body language or facial expressions through written text.

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy Independence Day Eve!

I've been reading a few threads/posts lately where the theme/post is something that the poster tosses out there but does so in a way that they get to make themselves look good. They might go something like this "does anyone elses's hands cramp up after saving puppies from burning buildings all day long" or "how can I increase my stamina to go from 5 to 6 orgasms?" Maybe I'm too much of a cynic, maybe I'm just an ass but these kind of thinly veiled posts drive me bonkers.

Jumps off soap box, drops mic, heads to the liquor cabinet...

 

[stickygirl]

I've always viewed apologies as fake. In life and on the internet. I don't go out of my way to be insulting, but if people take my style of humor personally, I generally just ignore them after the first dust up. Sensitive Souls and Drama Queens can stay in their little world of victimhood.

You must have been wronged a great deal in the past to be so cynical now. No one is born cynical, you have to learn it, but just because you don't believe other people are being sincere, doesn't mean that they are not. I hope something amazingly good happens in your life to change your outlook on it.

 

[ManOSafety]

I had to run my daily triathlon and then conduct two open heart surgeries, so it's been a busy morning...but Now that I have a moment for frivolity, I agree with Chained.

 

[ChainedUp]

I had to run my daily triathlon and then conduct two open heart surgeries, so it's been a busy morning...but Now that I have a moment for frivolity, I agree with Chained.

MoS, you're so humble. You forgot to mention feeding folks at the homeless shelter, and the time you spent at the Humane Society walking all the stray dogs.

 

[ManOSafety]

MoS, you're so humble. You forgot to mention feeding folks at the homeless shelter, and the time you spent at the Humane Society walking all the stray dogs.

Sorry...I had to go take care of the lawns for my elderly neighbors

 

[dutchrain]

I feel sooo inadequate now.

I only did chores and bought groceries for the girl scouts' summer camp.

Which was an hilarious event, my youngest (and the head of the scouts *grins* Yeah, I am a proud mom) packed while I unloaded the contents of the shopping cart on the belt. Perfect team work one would say. As I did.

Until one of the sacks ripped when I was reaching the top of the escalator ...

I almost fell forward because the lady behind me hit me in my butt with her head while she caught a whatever while I kicked two other whatevers of the stairs while screaming "Oops and youngest name at the top of my voice while swinging the sack with still a few items in it up to the floor while holding onto one other sack and a very heavy bag over my shoulder.

Hm, I don't feel sooo inadequate at all!

 

[ManOSafety]

I feel sooo inadequate now.

I only did chores and bought groceries for the girl scouts' summer camp.

Which was an hilarious event, my youngest (and the head of the scouts *grins* Yeah, I am a proud mom) packed while I unloaded the contents of the shopping cart on the belt. Perfect team work one would say. As I did.

Until one of the sacks ripped when I was reaching the top of the escalator ...

I almost fell forward because the lady behind me hit me in my butt with her head while she caught a whatever while I kicked two other whatevers of the stairs while screaming "Oops and youngest name at the top of my voice while swinging the sack with still a few items in it up to the floor while holding onto one other sack and a very heavy bag over my shoulder.

Hm, I don't feel sooo inadequate at all!

Sounds like a three stooges scene and I'm a guy, so that's high praise

 

[dutchrain]

Sounds like a three stooges scene and I'm a guy, so that's high praise

Thanks for the praise!

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

You must have been wronged a great deal in the past to be so cynical now. No one is born cynical, you have to learn it, but just because you don't believe other people are being sincere, doesn't mean that they are not. I hope something amazingly good happens in your life to change your outlook on it.

Not especially. I tend to identify people by their actions. When their actions don't match their words, it's pretty easy to figure out their level of sincerity. For the most part, apologies only come after getting caught or being called out. That tends to drop the value for me. It takes a bit more time on the internet to figure out people, but if you pay attention, it can be done. People are people. We're all far less complex than we pretend to be.

I appreciate the sentiment.

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

Happy Independence Day Eve!

I've been reading a few threads/posts lately where the theme/post is something that the poster tosses out there but does so in a way that they get to make themselves look good. They might go something like this "does anyone elses's hands cramp up after saving puppies from burning buildings all day long" or "how can I increase my stamina to go from 5 to 6 orgasms?" Maybe I'm too much of a cynic, maybe I'm just an ass but these kind of thinly veiled posts drive me bonkers.

Jumps off soap box, drops mic, heads to the liquor cabinet...

I hope those are 5 to 6 female orgasms. There's no chance I could do that without two or three days of sleep in between.

I actually like those posts. It's fun to watch who jumps at the bait. If you're actually worried about being cynical, don't worry. You're inner voice is just screaming bullshit. Take a deep breath, start a parody thread, and let your inner voice go wild.

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy 4th of July. May your independence shine brightly.

I find it ironic that we Americans celebrate and crave our independence when in actuality we crave interdependence even more.

 

[SmileyGirl]

People will always show you exactly what you mean to them, regardless of the words they say to you.

Exactly....actions speak far more than words. It's what you do that speaks volumes or in some cases what you don't do. You soon find out how much you mean to someone or how little.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Happy 4th of July. May your independence shine brightly.

I find it ironic that we Americans celebrate and crave our independence when in actuality we crave interdependence even more.

Happy Birthday America. (The drunken relatives will be showing up any time, try not to hit on your cousin...)

I think the two are not opposites. I value the independence to choose my own interdependencies.

I hope, for those who celebrate it, you have a great day. For those who don't celebrate the 4th, I hope you have a great day too. I think it is quintessentially American that our national celebration involves launching rockets and blowing things up.

 

[Mindfondler]

Happy 4th of July. May your independence shine brightly.

I'd like to echo that from the UK: Happy Independence Day! It's more than 200 years ago now (and nearly 20 years since that awful movie) and I'd like to think that we've put any grudges well behind us -- at least, for the first one. Indeed, I was at an Independence Day fireworks display in the US a few years ago, and hardly anyone tried to lynch me.

I find it ironic that we Americans celebrate and crave our independence when in actuality we crave interdependence even more.

Ah... I like that! *offers free cuddles to everyone*
.