Litiquette

[dutchrain]

I think that's part of what's so addictive about Lit. We only have to be who we are without the other faces we have to put on in real life sometimes.

I have said it before, but this is exactly what makes Lit so attractive to me.

 

[makinmepurr]

And I love this thread, the way it fosters open and honest discussion of these deeper aspects of Lit. As I said to a Lit friend yesterday, on the surface this is a porn site, but really it is SO much more, and this thread is a safe place to discover just how much more.
(And my apologies, Chained, for going too far with the party theme.)

 

[BreezySnow]

I agree with Jenny and the rest of you. It is nice to be yourself, or how you see yourself. Not have to be the mom or the responsible one, just be the one who wants to have fun on your own terms. Also don't have to worry about being the one sitting in the corner that no one seems to notice because she is the "perfect" female.

 

[jackflash81]

And I love this thread, the way it fosters open and honest discussion of these deeper aspects of Lit. As I said to a Lit friend yesterday, on the surface this is a porn site, but really it is SO much more, and this thread is a safe place to discover just how much more.
(And my apologies, Chained, for going too far with the party theme.)

It is a place that allows you explore yourself, and others, in the comfort of knowing its ok to be you.

 

[SweetSam42]

And I love this thread, the way it fosters open and honest discussion of these deeper aspects of Lit. As I said to a Lit friend yesterday, on the surface this is a porn site, but really it is SO much more, and this thread is a safe place to discover just how much more.
(And my apologies, Chained, for going too far with the party theme.)

I agree with Jenny and the rest of you. It is nice to be yourself, or how you see yourself. Not have to be the mom or the responsible one, just be the one who wants to have fun on your own terms. Also don't have to worry about being the one sitting in the corner that no one seems to notice because she is the "perfect" female.

I agree with Jenny and with you ladies. I do often come here to escape the parts of real life that get me down, although I do find an outlet here to share some of that as well, when the mood strikes me.

 

[ChainedUp]

And it's not just you ladies, I tend to walk into Lit baggage free or at least try to. That's not always the case in RL.

 

[jackflash81]

Sometimes, I find it hard to tell if someone is being truthful or not, and I do tend to be over cautious to what people are saying.

Somethings occassionally sound too good to be true, so I tend to be doubtful. Perhaps this is unfair....but I have had fingers burnt in the past.

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy Mother's Day! There's something about the unconditional love between a mother and her child. And yet I would say relationships here at Lit are anything if not conditional maybe even more so than RL. I think we set clearer definitions here for what we want, fail to meet those conditions and it's on to the next. Is my view clouded on this?

 

[jackflash81]

Happy Mother's Day! There's something about the unconditional love between a mother and her child. And yet I would say relationships here at Lit are anything if not conditional maybe even more so than RL. I think we set clearer definitions here for what we want, fail to meet those conditions and it's on to the next. Is my view clouded on this?

I would perhaps say that, for me anyway, I didn't know what I wanted when I joined Lit, so had no clear definition. I also find that it changes regulalry depending on what is happening in RL, so it is maybe less clear.

However, on the other hand, ones needs in RL change with situations, so maybe its just a microcosm of RL, in a more controlled environment.

There are certainly some broad conditions we all have, and these need to be met for relationships to develop however they might, so in that wy you have a point. For example, if an initial PM shows little respect, then the conversation will likely fail.

 

[BreezySnow]

Happy Mother's Day! There's something about the unconditional love between a mother and her child. And yet I would say relationships here at Lit are anything if not conditional maybe even more so than RL. I think we set clearer definitions here for what we want, fail to meet those conditions and it's on to the next. Is my view clouded on this?

Thank you for the happy mother's day!

As for conditions, yes there are certain conditions people must meet. For instance, I prefer to talk to people who have a history so I can see what type of threads they post on. I also like profiles filled out. Mostly, I have my own thread and would prefer a person talk to me there if they want to get to know me! Now just because I have conditions doesn't mean I follow them to a "T".

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Happy Mother's Day! There's something about the unconditional love between a mother and her child. And yet I would say relationships here at Lit are anything if not conditional maybe even more so than RL. I think we set clearer definitions here for what we want, fail to meet those conditions and it's on to the next. Is my view clouded on this?

I would say that I set clearer definitions for what I expect in real life. (just ask my children)
Here, I am more laid back. I'll speak with just about anyone who is here to speak. Much like real life, however, I'm not here to engage in relationships that aren't mutually fulfilling.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

For the record, I like to party!

Anyway, it's Mother's Day so for all you moms out there Happy, happy, happy!

Conditional relationships? I don't like the sound of that at all. I think we all have our limits and boundaries both here and in real life. When those things are mutually understood a relationship can grow and develop into something special.

I have a dear friend here who knows more about me than any of my real life friends. I am very grateful for her.

 

[may_I_please]

I go with the flow much more on Lit than I do with my children. I don't set the same parameters or expectations for lit friends that I do with them. It's up to litsters how they act, talk or behave and I don't dictate, apart from the fact that I may avoid if they become disrespectful, disingenuous or dishonest.

My children will attest to strong boundaries and expectations of their behaviour - the love is unconditional, liking their behaviour not so much

 

[ChainedUp]

Apparently cabin pressure has been compromised and the oxygen masks didn't deploy, thankfully I have the override button right here. I just hope I'm not too late

 

[Paul_Chance]

I pretty much carry the same set of conditions in real life as I do in Lit. Life needs discernment. The more you hone yours the happier you will be. Do not suffer fools. Embrace those who have good hearts.

 

[ChainedUp]

Good morning. Ever have a day when you're pretty sure you've lost all control of how it will unfold. I've noticed that Lit can take a similar path, just when you think you've got a handle on the place, you realize you realize you really don't. The question becomes do you expect to have more control of RL or of online?

 

[makinmepurr]

Good morning. Ever have a day when you're pretty sure you've lost all control of how it will unfold. I've noticed that Lit can take a similar path, just when you think you've got a handle on the place, you realize you realize you really don't. The question becomes do you expect to have more control of RL or of online?

I' m chuckling to myself as I read this. Control? Oh heavens no. Control is an illusion. Especially in the sense of having any over what happens here. I just show up, do my thing, and go with the flow...

 

[Lord Pmann]

I think it becomes a matter of whether or not one can separate what you do here from RL. For many of us, the relationships made here have become part of our real life.

I find that in my work I am very well-spoken and I can talk my way through many situations and bring reason to an event. Here, it is much more difficult to use only written word or, at best, video chat to convey things. And as frustrating as that can be, there is a (ever so tiny) bit of an upside that comes with it. It can remind us how real this all is. That they are not just words on a screen. For some, anyway. For many it is just play and NSA fun. But for some, the relationships here are far more than that. I include myself in the latter group.

 

[shmily]

Good morning. Ever have a day when you're pretty sure you've lost all control of how it will unfold. I've noticed that Lit can take a similar path, just when you think you've got a handle on the place, you realize you realize you really don't. The question becomes do you expect to have more control of RL or of online?

ah.. somedays, yes... I tend to roll with the flow, but then there are days that nothing seems to be going as planned.

 

[ChainedUp]

As evening sets in, I've been wondering; we tend to stay at lit, or come looking, for engaging conversation of whatever ilk interests you, naughty or nice. But, if we all do that, some of us have to be that engaging person others are looking for. Now, toss modesty aside, do you consider yourself engaging or a someone searching for that spark.

I think that I'm the engaging type, I tend to lead conversations rather than follow.

 

[MedicalMuse]

I prefer to be both. Gives me options

 

[Paul_Chance]

I would say both as well. Depends on the person. Depends on the mood. Depends on the moment.

 

[ChainedUp]

I would say both as well. Depends on the person. Depends on the mood. Depends on the moment.

Paul, you're on quite the thread killing streak. I may have to ban you if this keeps up.

 

[jameslewis]

As evening sets in, I've been wondering; we tend to stay at lit, or come looking, for engaging conversation of whatever ilk interests you, naughty or nice. But, if we all do that, some of us have to be that engaging person others are looking for. Now, toss modesty aside, do you consider yourself engaging or a someone searching for that spark.

I think that I'm the engaging type, I tend to lead conversations rather than follow.

I believe I generally lead, unless my partner has something already in mind that they want to
talk about, then I follow or share. So, like has been said before, it really depends on the other person and the situation.

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy Tuesday everyone.

The first move. It's quite possibly as nerve racking here as it is in real life. Knowing when is the right time, wanting to make sure it's well received, doesn't feel clumsy, isn't too early, isn't too late, is at the proper level. Looking for that first subtle clue, that the other person seems accepting. Or was that actually your partner's "first move". Hoping that your new friend is flattered/pleased and not out off.

It never gets any easier, does it?