Litiquette VII

[LurkingPhoenix]

i feel compelled to point out that a willingness to go down on a girl does not insure technical ability.

As a guy? This is definitely true.

Technique and listening to your partner's body matter a lot.

But sometimes hunger wins out and ravenous, eager want takes over...

And for fuck's sake, don't be shy about it!

 

[QuietCanadian]

i feel compelled to point out that a willingness to go down on a girl does not insure technical ability.

Can i get a rundown on everyone's stats, please? Number of pussies eaten, number of orgasms reached, number of return customers, etc. Final rankings will be posted on the door to the wrestling room after lunch.

*Starts counting on fingers, wait, calculator... Yes.*

 

[SMNaughtywife]

......

Damn thing is so loud I can’t hear anyone approaching! In the last six months, two or three times the BF has caught me, and SMNaughty caught me two weeks ago! Each time it seems to dissolve into giggles.

You were a little slut that morning.
Just couldn’t wait a little bit longer for me. Or us to crawl back into bed.

 

[Orchidea73]

*Starts counting on fingers, wait, calculator... Yes.*

lmao

 

[SassySheDevil]

You were a little slut that morning.
Just couldn’t wait a little bit longer for me. Or us to crawl back into bed.

That morning? lol...
*Thinks the other sexy woman in the house played a part in that???

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I like to think I would have acted better. But the reality? Trekka got off light.

Ah ha ha! As a mother of adult daughters, I have to agree with this.
If you're gonna be slutty, ffs, be discreet about it.

As a guy? This is definitely true.

Why is there such a discrepancy between oral for men and for women? Why do I have a 100% blowie success rate, and yet no one's ever come close to getting me off that way?

*Starts counting on fingers, wait, calculator... Yes.*

LOL!!

 

[hotwords229_A]

i feel compelled to point out that a willingness to go down on a girl does not insure technical ability.

To be sure, but at 15 you have to give the guy credit for even trying. Most of us didn’t realize girls liked sex until we were much older. It just seemed like something they did as a favor or something.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I have been busted more times than I initially realised. I wish I had the energy to deliciously share all the sordid details like trekka did. I may be able to come back to it.

Most recently, the toddler busted into our bedroom mid session with a bike bell in hand ringing it ever so loudly to alert us yif her presence. It was freaking hilarious.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

What piques your interest to start having a crush/interest on someone?
And then let’s turn the tables and go with whats a turn off that you’ll pass on almost always?

 

[Orchidea73]

I’ll pass on non Tolkien fans.

Hear, hear!

 

[hotwords229_A]

Kindness. Not the, “Hey everybody look at me doing something kind, aren’t I amazing!”—type person, but someone who just has a great heart and doesn’t need, or even want, the attention or gratitude.

Hot knockers. (And no, they don’t have to be big)

Toughness, strength. Not the feminist bullshit, but real strength. Jobeth Williams in Poltergeist is my go-to strong woman type.

Someone who isn’t shy about putting her hand on my head and easing it down between her legs because she needs a tongue inside her.

Creativity.

Turnoffs? Arrogance. Closed-mindedness. Unnecessary dramatic performances. No sense of humor—there will be laughter, oh yes, there will be laughter.

 

[beachbaby179]

You forgot anti-vaxxers.

 

[Orchidea73]

Kindness. Not the, “Hey everybody look at me doing something kind, aren’t I amazing!”—type person, but someone who just has a great heart and doesn’t need, or even want, the attention or gratitude.

Hot knockers. (And no, they don’t have to be big)

Toughness, strength. Not the feminist bullshit, but real strength. Jobeth Williams in Poltergeist is my go-to strong woman type.

Someone who isn’t shy about putting her hand on my head and easing it down between her legs because she needs a tongue inside her.

Creativity.

Turnoffs? Arrogance. Closed-mindedness. Unnecessary dramatic performances. No sense of humor—there will be laughter, oh yes, there will be laughter.

What's knockers?

 

[Orchidea73]

Tits.
Boobs.
Cans.
Headlights.
Melons.

LOL

First time I hear that expression. Leave it to Cream.

 

[Acktion]

I'm a weird as fuck duck, I admit.

Her appearance... she's got to look good. I have to find her appealing. However... my sister (and several of her friends) were the model/beauty queen types growing up (as well as some early romances). So, being too pretty will make me back peddle since I've run across several that are the beautiful princess outside, but the wicked witch inside.

Often, sociopaths are. That's how they get away with so much shit.

Intellectually, she's gotta be able to keep up. It gets wearing after a while to try to dumb down everything. But, by the same token if her intellectualism causes her to get too cocky, and particularly when it segues into pseudo-intellectualism, I'm not gonna stick around. I qualified for MENSA and went to exactly one meeting... and decided I'd much rather sit around having inane conversations with intelligent people than listen to inane people try to demonstrate their intelligence.

Likewise, I'm often fascinated by supposed "sapiosexuals" that then prove themselves incapable of maintaining their end of a conversation. So, charming conversationalist is definitely high, high up on the list. If I'm typing out seven paragraphs and they are replying with two and three-word responses, maybe up to a full sentence on a good day, then that just doesn't work for me and they can read my stories. My natural inclination is to believe they aren't interested and I wander off.

Talking to me, about anything, is a sign for me that she is interested in conversating with me and keeping the relationship viable. And the more personal things she is willing to talk with me about, the more connected I feel. Don't expect me to look at your ass and read your mind!

And, yeah. I'm gonna be "that guy." If sex is not an acceptable topic of conversation, then I'm gonna move the fuck on to someone it is. I am a sex addict. It's a part of me and a part of my world. It's going to come up if I am at all open to someone. This doesn't mean she's gotta be willing to have phone sex thirty minutes after meeting. Or ever for that matter. But, if any time a topic swings over into sex and all I hear is "let us never speak of this again"... She's definitely got a right to her limits. However, if who I am trods on those limits just by virtue of being what I am, then I would be seven kinds of asshole for sticking around, knowing that I trod on those limits just by virtue of being me.

I drink sometimes, but can't stand to get drunk. But, can't say as I've ever really cared if she did.

I smoke like a chimney, but can't say as I've ever really cared if she did, so long as she didn't harass me about mine.

I don't do drugs, not even marijuana, and never have. But, can't really say I've ever cared if she did. (At least so long as she wasn't putting my police record at risk with her behaviors...)

But, I don't typically do well as "just one more fan." And will wander off from someone who obviously has a pack of wolves sniffing around, and just as obviously likes it that way.

And, damn! Reading over this, I am a picky mother-fucker. And without much rational reason to believe I could afford to be from lookin' in the mirror.

Fortunately for me, this Goldilocks has found the porridge, chair, and bed that is just right in a wonderful woman who met all criteria AND was willing to put up with me and so don't look for someone else to pique my interest and, eventually if not sooner, crush me.

https://media.giphy.com/media/8pMS5BXOUVZyo/giphy.gif

 

[Orchidea73]

So, being too pretty will make me back peddle since I've run across several that are the beautiful princess outside, but the wicked witch inside.

Often, sociopaths are. That's how they get away with so much shit.

I doubt sociopaths, or psychopaths, get away with so much shit because of looks.
It's more about charm and good intelligence.

 

[QuietCanadian]

What piques your interest to start having a crush/interest on someone?
And then let’s turn the tables and go with whats a turn off that you’ll pass on almost always?

This is a bit more difficult than I thought. Wit, charm, sense of humour, ability to banter, the right level of sass, yet overall a lovely person. I'd be lying if I said appearance didn't play a role, but I think how I feel about someone's sexiness in appearance has a lot to do with other factors, too. If I happen to know some of their friends or who they interact with and I know those people are pretty alright, that helps. Who you surround yourself with can say a lot about a person.

Generally, being sweet and nice goes a long way with me, but you add that sense of humour? Hi.

Turn offs? Honestly, just general douchebaggery. I could list a bunch of things I'm super interested in, like music (PS Fara, I play an instrument), or movies, or maybe you're a Tottenham supporter, those are all awesome to me if you have them, but we're all different and have different interests so none on their own would be a deal breaker if we didn't share it. If we share little to none? Ya, that's not going to work.

 

[QuietCanadian]

I like that.
I used to ply the flute. I decided during Covid I would learn the guitar or uke. Both my kids taught themselves.
No go. I’m sitting around watching HGTV.

I used to play the trumpet growing up, I could probably pick it up decently if I tried again... Maybe not... But I'd love to try. Now I campfire my way through some guitar, it's fun to play. We should make a pact to put down the Property Brothers and learn an easy tune. After this marathon is over though, please.

 

[WrightOne]

How do you put your finger on what attracts you to others?

Certainly one of the first things you tend to notice is someone's appearance, but beauty is just skin deep. From there, if there isn't a woman of substance who has intelligence, a sense of humor, kindness, and some interests that align with some of mine, there really isn't a point.

Smokers tend to turn me off right from the get-go.

 

[Cyberbella]

I would agree with most that appearance does play a part in attraction, however for me I can find probably something attractive in anyone. I think commonalities play an important role. He doesn't have to like exactly the same things, but it would be nice if we could share activities together and spend time with each other. I think a sense of humor is a must, kindness, and someone who is well... a go-getter of sorts. Someone who has goals and aspirations and tries to be the best person he can be.

 

[Corbal]

Abs, straight teeth and the best jokes. Like... dick jokes, your momma jokes, 'that's what she said' jokes.

Gotta have the best sense of humor otherwise it ain't happening. I'm too into having fun and laughing. Its literally the BEST thing.

There are a ton of things that turn me off. White socks, that's a start.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Abs, straight teeth and the best jokes. Like... dick jokes, your momma jokes, 'that's what she said' jokes.

Gotta have the best sense of humor otherwise it ain't happening. I'm too into having fun and laughing. Its literally the BEST thing.

There are a ton of things that turn me off. White socks, that's a start.

When we're on the bags on our heads porn comedy tour, you won't notice my white socks. Just saying.

 

[Corbal]

Like... with a suit?

The only time a man should wear white socks is if he’s playing a sport.

Fact.

When we're on the bags on our heads porn comedy tour, you won't notice my white socks. Just saying.

My bag has peepholes.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Fact.



My bag has peepholes.

I'll trash the socks.

 

[Trekka]

My interest is piqued and a crush begins with the flash of a wicked grin, a certain twinkle in the eye, and, often, a creative spirit. Be that turning phrases, building furniture, grilling lobster, tooling leather, tending orchids, or blowing glass. The medium is less important than the spirit of it all.

Dimples kill me. They end me.

Instant turn offs include sweaters tied around the neck and/or driving an Audi.

^applies to both genders.