Litiquette VII

[base10]

Ever been caught red handed having sex? Busted during a solo sesh? What happened?
And for those of you slick fuckers who’ve never been caught, how have you managed to accomplish such a feat?!

Eye contact made, silent understanding, door closed, never spoken of again

 

[Cyberbella]

Unexpected knock on the door when my bf at the time and I were having sex in his mom and dad's living room. We thought the coast was clear. It turned out to be bf's cousin. I've never gotten dressed so fast in my life.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Ever been caught red handed having sex? Busted during a solo sesh? What happened?
And for those of you slick fuckers who’ve never been caught, how have you managed to accomplish such a feat?!

No being walked in on, yet anyway, but in the days before Skip The Dishes or Door Dash and being able to pre pay having them leave it on the door step, the delivery came in 15 minutes instead is the "hour" they told us. We rock, paper, scissored for having to answer. Thankfully I won, not sure the delivery guy would have appreciated the state I was in. Or maybe he would've, but I think he preferred the half dressed individual he received instead.

Solo sesh? Once. I'm still scarred by it. I should be able to talk about it in 12-15 years.

 

[Acktion]

***making a mental note to try to find emulator software to run Kik on a PC since I refuse to have a phone smarter than me... and to get cookie to add me if I do***

As to the question... many, many times. Too many to even give statistics, but the highlights reel...

Fell off the tree branch while she was riding me, and she continued to while I was hanging on with both hands. Two cars lit us up with their headlights and started honking.

Stroking my late wife inside her panties while driving, stopped at a red light, and she glanced over just as she was about to cum and realized the driver of the hopped-up monster truck next to us was looking down. And grinning.

Most recently, coming out of my place with my sweet little spice during one of her visits. And having the neighbors coming up to shake my hand and slap me on the back. And not having a clue why until after she had left and his daughter asked me... well, never mind.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Once in a hotel room. We thought the other two staying in the room with us had left, but they came back and left the door wide open while other of our friends walked by outside. I’m pretty sure there may be footage of this in someone’s possession.

 

[Richard_C]

Sex no, bj yes. Outside of a bar in my truck. Guy got in his truck parked beside mine and when he glanced over and realized what was happening he watched!

 

[Mr_bogey]

Too many to count. Parents, kids, in laws other relatives, friends, strangers, law enforcement. I'm not Bill Clinton, so, yes, BJs count.

 

[Mr_bogey]

So even though it's not me, I have to tell me favorite "got caught" story:
This belongs to one of my college roommates. Upon our first visit to his beach house, we met his mom, who told us Rule 1 was no girls allowed upstairs. Upstairs was a semi finished attic space with a couple sets of bunks and a queen bed, some dressers and a wall AC unit. I didn't see what the big deal was about girls being up there. We were reminded of rule 1 at dinner and again as we were going out.
I was so weird, we had to ask once we got to the bar. He tried to pass it off but we weren't buying, so he agreed to tell the story. He was 15 and charged with watching his brother and sister while their mother ran to their house 75 minutes away. With her gone, he immediately invited his GF over and upstairs they went. He threw something in the boombox on full blast. I can't remember what but it was the equivalent of AC/DC --- I usually went a little more mellow in my make out music. So with the tunes cranking and mom away, they hopped on the queen bed upstairs. The foot of the queen bed is the first thing you see when you open the door. Unbeknownst to our young lovers, mom had forgotten her checkbook, which she discovered about 20 mins into the ride. Needing that, she turned around. Mom can hear the music blaring as she gets to the house. She yells for him to turn down the music as soon as she gets in the house. Continues calling for him as she goes up the stairs and she opens the door to a perfect view of her 15 year old son's brown eye and his cock dangling between his legs as his face is buried in the crotch of his 15 yr old GF, neither one had a stitch on. And thus Rule 1 was born.

I did get a little romantic with a young lady that had been hired to watch his youngest sister. She had very few things she wouldn't do but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get her up those stairs.

 

[CurvyAngel_2]

Closest to being caught was when my boyfriend and I went on a camping trip with my dad and other friends. They went out on the boat and I guese we were going at it a lot longer than we thought because next thing I know my dad is knocking on the locked door and the motor home is a rocking. Seems no matter how old you are when your dad catches you, you get dressed faster than the speed of light.

 

[hotwords229_A]

So even though it's not me, I have to tell me favorite "got caught" story:
This belongs to one of my college roommates. Upon our first visit to his beach house, we met his mom, who told us Rule 1 was no girls allowed upstairs. Upstairs was a semi finished attic space with a couple sets of bunks and a queen bed, some dressers and a wall AC unit. I didn't see what the big deal was about girls being up there. We were reminded of rule 1 at dinner and again as we were going out.
I was so weird, we had to ask once we got to the bar. He tried to pass it off but we weren't buying, so he agreed to tell the story. He was 15 and charged with watching his brother and sister while their mother ran to their house 75 minutes away. With her gone, he immediately invited his GF over and upstairs they went. He threw something in the boombox on full blast. I can't remember what but it was the equivalent of AC/DC --- I usually went a little more mellow in my make out music. So with the tunes cranking and mom away, they hopped on the queen bed upstairs. The foot of the queen bed is the first thing you see when you open the door. Unbeknownst to our young lovers, mom had forgotten her checkbook, which she discovered about 20 mins into the ride. Needing that, she turned around. Mom can hear the music blaring as she gets to the house. She yells for him to turn down the music as soon as she gets in the house. Continues calling for him as she goes up the stairs and she opens the door to a perfect view of her 15 year old son's brown eye and his cock dangling between his legs as his face is buried in the crotch of his 15 yr old GF, neither one had a stitch on. And thus Rule 1 was born.

I did get a little romantic with a young lady that had been hired to watch his youngest sister. She had very few things she wouldn't do but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get her up those stairs.

That's a tough conversation as a parent. On one hand, you want to scold him for having sex too soon, on the other hand you want to congratulate him on being the kind of guy who will finish her off--very thoughtful for that point in life.

 

[Suz_anne]

When does "getting caught" become exhibitionism?

*lookin' at you, Fara*

 

[SassySheDevil]

Yes.
My ex husband’s uncle caught us. Before we were married. In his (then fiancé) living room. Uncle was staying with ex hub’s grandma. He walked down the stairs and watched. Ex didn’t know until after.
I was on top.
Never spoken of.


My kid and his GF coming inside the house where we left all the windows and doors were open. We had gone upstairs for a “quickie” which turned into more. My guy was slapping my ass and taking me from behind and I was screaming.
Realized my kid was home after.
Yelled down the basement stairs to him... his reply, WHAT??!??
Never spoken of.

cookiecat heard us fucking when she stayed with me and gave our KIK group a play by play...
I think Fara and Necro are DOING IT!!!
I just heard her moan!!!

The next day when I opened KIK I was

I tried, but she wouldn't let me listen.

As far as myself. I've been in the room with another couple while we were each having sex.

So obviously they knew.

Um. Been caught.. I've had a few occasions outside that I'm sure were heard/seen. (that's part of my thrill)
Kids have heard and been permanently scarred.
I don't think my parents ever heard anything, if they did, they never spoke of it.

Another close encounter landed me on the floor when the kids came downstairs.

But mostly, I just learn to be quiet when the kids are around or in the house. Pillows are great.

 

[SassySheDevil]

YOU were sleeping with me.
Do you think anyone heard us?

well your kid did pretty much refuse to come home the entire time I was there

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

Ever been caught red handed having sex? Busted during a solo sesh? What happened?
And for those of you slick fuckers who’ve never been caught, how have you managed to accomplish such a feat?!

Only time I've ever been caught was by my college gf's mother when I had my face buried in her daughter's pussy.

She knocked on the door and said if we couldn't be quieter she was gonna throw us both out.

Oops. Not my fault she was a screamer...


Edit: forgot the other time I got caught.

NTS - shower sex is overrated. As is your gf using the faucet for leverage and breaking a pipe. And discovering that the shutoffs are in the basement.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Only really been caught once, which is a little surprising, considering how many times I've had sex somewhere other than a bedroom.

We were parked in an almond orchard during the wee hours when suddenly a pair of very powerful headlights lit up our car, and everything around it. A spray rig was headed straight for us. I have seldom experienced such panic as I did then, watching my bf scramble to get into his seat, get the car started, and tear out of there in reverse.

Almost wish I could do it again.

 

[Mr_bogey]

That's a tough conversation as a parent. On one hand, you want to scold him for having sex too soon, on the other hand you want to congratulate him on being the kind of guy who will finish her off--very thoughtful for that point in life.

Exactly. First question we asked, "How did you know to go down on her at 15?"

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

i feel compelled to point out that a willingness to go down on a girl does not insure technical ability.

Can i get a rundown on everyone's stats, please? Number of pussies eaten, number of orgasms reached, number of return customers, etc. Final rankings will be posted on the door to the wrestling room after lunch.

 

[Orchidea73]

i feel compelled to point out that a willingness to go down on a girl does not insure technical ability.

Agreed.

 

[Acktion]

“I learned it from watching you, Dad... okay??? I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!!!”

***sigh*** Yeah. And then there was the time we apparently weren't quiet enough in the shower while her daughter was in the kitchen. And I didn't think about the fact that water pipes are excellent sound conductors... And came out to a laughing sing-song of, "I could heeeeeear y'all."

Oops.

And our first grandson was born ten months later.

Oopshit.

 

[Trekka]

Holy cats these stories are hilarious.
I’m glad I’m not the only one scarring my kids for life.

I’ve been on this hot streak recently of getting caught rolling around between the sheets with my hitachi. Damn thing is so loud I can’t hear anyone approaching! In the last six months, two or three times the BF has caught me, and SMNaughty caught me two weeks ago! Each time it seems to dissolve into giggles.

I got caught giving my *first ever* beej. Boy down the street. His mom came home from work early. Stuck her head out the door into the patio, spied us, turned on her heel, slammed the door behind her. We carried on stoically.

My Dad also caught me at a wedding after party. Oh Lordy. Curvy ain’t kidding. I was 22 (grown ass woman, I figured!) and I was banging a groomsman on the den floor behind a locked door like a classy girl. (I thought this was how marriages were celebrated? This is customary isn’t it? Dad didn’t agree. Very confusing!)

Anyways, my dad apparently caught wind of what we were up to and gave the door the Tim Tebow shoulder and knocked it *off the hinges* as the gentleman and I scrambled to pull our clothes on. And then my father dragged me by the scruff of me neck through the packed house in front of all our family friends, who thought this was riotously funny, both my whorishness and my dad’s red face, with no shoes on, and a broken dress strap dangling down, and then he chucked me into the back of his van and drove me home in a huff.

It was MORTIFYING! And considering I was 22, so egregious, that he actually apologized to me the next day. (Gotta thank Mom for that one, she was on my side this time!) To this day, all the peeps that witnessed that walk of shame still bring it up from time to time and guffaw. Belly laughs. *facepalm*

 

[Mr_bogey]

i feel compelled to point out that a willingness to go down on a girl does not insure technical ability.

Can i get a rundown on everyone's stats, please? Number of pussies eaten, number of orgasms reached, number of return customers, etc. Final rankings will be posted on the door to the wrestling room after lunch.

While this is a fair point, it is a sign of a prodigy potential.

 

[Acktion]

i feel compelled to point out that a willingness to go down on a girl does not insure technical ability.

Can i get a rundown on everyone's stats, please? Number of pussies eaten, number of orgasms reached, number of return customers, etc. Final rankings will be posted on the door to the wrestling room after lunch.

Well, I've recently told the story around here somewhere of my second ex-fiancee (and first actual sexual experience) and the difficulties I had enabling her to cum at all, either with me or alone.

After her, I've never failed with any lover to make her cum orally almost at will. And despite more than few swearing that it was impossible (and then shocked when they did). Even inadvertently wearing out a couple for anything more before my jeans came off since my cock doesn't come out until her third orgasm.

Then again, I had to have the same surgery for medical reasons Gene Simmons apparently did and can lick the tip of my nose or under my chin. I played trumpet for several years which developed my armature and could flutter-tongue with the best. I also habitually tied maraschino cherry stems in triple knots for dexterity practice and "chewed" food by mashing every fourth bite with my tongue (yes, even steak) to develop strength.

So, I guess I may have some hidden advantages...

However, I also cheat outrageously and make liberal use of my fingers and any toy readily available. ***shrug*** If you at first you don't succeed and don't cheat like a motherfucker, you ain't really tryin'.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Holy cats these stories are hilarious.
I’m glad I’m not the only one scarring my kids for life.

I’ve been on this hot streak recently of getting caught rolling around between the sheets with my hitachi. Damn thing is so loud I can’t hear anyone approaching! In the last six months, two or three times the BF has caught me, and SMNaughty caught me two weeks ago! Each time it seems to dissolve into giggles.

I got caught giving my *first ever* beej. Boy down the street. His mom came home from work early. Stuck her head out the door into the patio, spied us, turned on her heel, slammed the door behind her. We carried on stoically.

My Dad also caught me at a wedding after party. Oh Lordy. Curvy ain’t kidding. I was 22 (grown ass woman, I figured!) and I was banging a groomsman on the den floor behind a locked door like a classy girl. (I thought this was how marriages were celebrated? This is customary isn’t it? Dad didn’t agree. Very confusing!)

Anyways, my dad apparently caught wind of what we were up to and gave the door the Tim Tebow shoulder and knocked it *off the hinges* as the gentleman and I scrambled to pull our clothes on. And then my father dragged me by the scruff of me neck through the packed house in front of all our family friends, who thought this was riotously funny, both my whorishness and my dad’s red face, with no shoes on, and a broken dress strap dangling down, and then he chucked me into the back of his van and drove me home in a huff.

It was MORTIFYING! And considering I was 22, so egregious, that he actually apologized to me the next day. (Gotta thank Mom for that one, she was on my side this time!) To this day, all the peeps that witnessed that walk of shame still bring it up from time to time and guffaw. Belly laughs. *facepalm*

OMG these are all amazing. I mean, uh, these are... Amazing. I think I got that right.

 

[Orchidea73]

My Dad also caught me at a wedding after party. Oh Lordy. Curvy ain’t kidding. I was 22 (grown ass woman, I figured!) and I was banging a groomsman on the den floor behind a locked door like a classy girl. (I thought this was how marriages were celebrated? This is customary isn’t it? Dad didn’t agree. Very confusing!)

Anyways, my dad apparently caught wind of what we were up to and gave the door the Tim Tebow shoulder and knocked it *off the hinges* as the gentleman and I scrambled to pull our clothes on. And then my father dragged me by the scruff of me neck through the packed house in front of all our family friends, who thought this was riotously funny, both my whorishness and my dad’s red face, with no shoes on, and a broken dress strap dangling down, and then he chucked me into the back of his van and drove me home in a huff.

It was MORTIFYING! And considering I was 22, so egregious, that he actually apologized to me the next day. (Gotta thank Mom for that one, she was on my side this time!) To this day, all the peeps that witnessed that walk of shame still bring it up from time to time and guffaw. Belly laughs. *facepalm*

Dragging you by the scruff of the neck. https://i.imgur.com/p5D3yK1.gif https://i.imgur.com/p5D3yK1.gif https://i.imgur.com/p5D3yK1.gif

 

[Dribble]

I like to think I would have acted better. But the reality? Trekka got off light.