Litiquette VI

[hotwords229_A]

I have never had this^ happen. I'm not saying it couldn't, but, to date, no.

This does seem to have increased my "what-the-actual-fuck was I thinking" post relationship* moments. Yikes. Might also be why I have not been noted for my relationship longevity.


*Errr, how are we defining relationship? Like, more than two days?

For me, those were more work related. Someone I would see day to day and she never really jumped out at me. Then, one day, BOOM! Hey, what's going on?

 

[Endless_Night]

For me, those were more work related. Someone I would see day to day and she never really jumped out at me. Then, one day, BOOM! Hey, what's going on?

Muy interesante. I hear people talk about that happening. All the time. Like it's, if not the usuals thing, at least fairly normal.

I am waiting for it to happen.

Waiting.

Still waiting.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Wrong person for the wrong reasons, ummm yes. But the goods he had that we smoked or mixed in with tea. Paper under the tongue and ... were out of this world. Add in hot sex. But one day after 7 months of this crazy trip I walked away. Saw the spiral down and it wasn’t taking me with.

Then it was no to drugs, but yes to hot men and sex. No BFs or relationships. Nothing.
Stories of men, suits, dirty martinis, and the yacht club. Yeah, there was a little sex too.

 

[StacyLeigh]

I think it comes down to want vs. need. I might be attracted to a man physically, out of instinct, because he's someone I *want* but he may not be what I *need*. Or I might be attracted to a man's heart or mind, because I *need* that emotional connection, but he might not be what the rest of me *wants*, at that time.

But the thing is, there are other relationships where I wasn’t initially attracted to a girl, but once I got to know her she became way sexy.

^This happens to me often. A man's personality can certainly win me over, even if I wasn't initially drawn to him. Particularly if he can make me laugh. Somehow a guy is 10 times hotter when I'm smiling

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I have a friend who is super successful and who has a lot going for him. He's dynamic, good looking, strong, rich, etc. He's also very atheist and loves sex. Somehow he ended up dating one of his employees who is super Christan. She's also ten years younger and manipulative. Part of her manipulative nature stems from her niavety, but mostly she grew up in a toxic household and that's just how they treated each other.
The warning signs were all there and I told him that dating her was going to be a disaster.
Not only did he not get laid (they had sex 4 times in two years), he was miserable. I would get phone calls in the middle of the night when he discovered her cheating on him (yet he stayed), when she would scream at him, etc. It was abusive and he stuck around for some reason. I really tried to see what he saw in her but I couldn't.

Eventually he broke and broke it off. He was so damaged and still carries that baggage which is a shame, because he deserves so much better.

Bitches be crazy!

 

[Lord Pmann]

I've been victim to picking or liking the wrong person. I think we all have. It's so easy to do. A girl bats her eyelashes and flips her hair and there you go.

I think the worst is when you see someone with a partner that's just a complete shitbag. I have a friend that I have known since high school. So beautiful. So sweet. She recently got divorced and she's dating this guy who is worse than CV. He has sculpted facial hair and he wears a chain. I don't need to say anything else.

However, it's so easy to see in others. So hard to see for ourselves.

 

[Trekka]

I think people can change over time, for better, for worse, and what you start with isn’t always what you finish with.

I think sometimes the spark is there and it’s real and it’s chemical and it’s undeniable. Doesn’t mean it will make for a pleasant household, though.

Then again, sometimes we have no idea what’s going on behind closed doors. The couple that you can’t figure out what they see in each other might be happily swinging from chandeliers at night. And the couple that looks happy might be beating the hell out of each other at night.

For me it was never a wrong fit/right fit. Just an “I think we’ve outgrown this.”

And I more or less stay out of the relationships of others. I remember the days of people thinking I had the catch of the county on my arm. They had no idea what was going on in my house once the door shut. So, I don’t even try to make sense of other people’s relationships, unless they ask for my two cents.

 

[Endless_Night]

I think, too, it's so often a matter of investment. Particularly if sacrifices have been made, or the relationship seemed to offer something of great importance.

It may be the potential you saw didn't pan out, or worse, the partner turns out not to be the person you believed. Tough stuff to face, and let go. Either way.

Liken it to those who won't leave miserable marriages due to the financial hit it would entail would be the more obvious financial example. if you're talking love it may be so many things. Respectability, or excitement, or purpose. Joy. Validation. Or merely seeing yourself live the type of life with the type of who you want to live.


I like Trekka's view. Outgrowing something seems a healthy take.

 

[Endless_Night]

Oh, yeah. I have to agree with those plugging a sense of humor. Big points.

BIG POINTS


The tricky part is, of course, does their sense of humor match your own.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I wasn’t initially attracted to my husband when I first met him, but the more I got to know him the more attracted I was to him. He’s very good looking, but we never really had that super hot chemistry that I have had with others. In my experience, those hot connections tend to fizzle, especially here.

 

[Endless_Night]

Question?

*taps impatient foot*

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dammit. Sorry.

Today’s topic is jealousy. It can be seen ALL over Lit. Read the Dear Lister or What Are You Thinking threads and it’ll be clear to see, there’s some jealousy going on out there. Jealous bitches be everywhere. Sometimes it’s jealousy as a result of not having the person you want. Or jealous of someone’s winning personality. Or comparing yourself to the person you wish you could be.

How do you handle it? Do you fall prey to it? Or are you a sociopath like AussieGeekyGal with no heart? How do you deal with it?

Lil Dicky- Ex Boyfriend

https://youtu.be/RC-e5vs6NeY

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I was about to say I don't get jealous often, but you went and beat me to the punch.

But you got my handle wrong, douche.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I was about to say I don't get jealous often, but you went and beat me to the punch.

But you got my handle wrong, douche.

Because I capitalized it???

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Because I capitalized it???

Uh huh.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Uh huh.

You soulless hell beast.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

You soulless hell beast.

Don't talk about my vagina like that

 

[Suz_anne]

Dammit. Sorry.

Today’s topic is jealousy. It can be seen ALL over Lit. Read the Dear Lister or What Are You Thinking threads

My god, I love those threads. The true heroes of the PG.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I think if you let it, it’s easy to get a little jelly over Lit, cars, someones house, vintage Corningware, quick wit and humor, gardening skills....
I mean, right?
But its all how you handle it. Sulk or turn it into some hot filthy fuckery.
Some bitches gonna be ruthless.
Menfolk gonna get possessive.
Groupies gonna know they’re rocking the sweet life and gloat about it.
Gotta stay the hell away from that drama no matter their luscious tits or hot RP.

I think the people on here that have meaningful connections that last years are those who view the other as an extension and not a replacement in their RL.
Accept the other person for who they are and what they bring to the table.
There’s no changing someone and we all move and trust at different speeds and levels. And you gotta be 100% okay with that.

 

[blade_rocknut]

I am not jealous if a fellow Litster receives titcoin in excess of or in lieu of my own receipt of the precious currency. Good on him. Or her. Or them.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I am not jealous if a fellow Litster receives titcoin in excess of or in lieu of my own receipt of the precious currency. Good on him. Or her. Or them.

I’m more in the know about Titcoin and Yobit in the last five minutes then ever before.

 

[Lord Pmann]

My god, I love those threads. The true heroes of the PG.

The passive aggressive comments are amazing. Then when they’re called out... they bat their eyelashes. “Oh no... I was just writing bad things about the devil. I wouldn’t be mean to anyone here.”

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I would not say I am typically a jealous person. But I’ve been on the receiving end of that passive aggressive “it’s not about you” when clearly it is and deliberate efforts to make me jealous. I hadn’t experienced that before and, of course, did not handle it well.

Prior to J’s illness, we described our relationship as open. And we both were open. You have to keep your jealousy in check and communicate a shit ton. And while our relationship is still open, he’s not in a place to act on it so I feel it would be shitty of me to do so. Plus Coronavirus is like the new crabs. No thanks.

 

[StacyLeigh]

I generally feel like I'm not enough and will get left behind for someone better.

^ This. I painfully fall in this same trap.
I’m not a typically jealous person, except occasionally with time. If I feel like I’m not good enough then jealousy may rear it’s ugly head when they spend their time elsewhere. But I’m not one to act on it - instead I compartmentalize, move on, or let go.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

I'm mostly jealous of those areas where I am insecure.

I avoid AmPics like the plague (bad analogy right now, I know) because I'm the antithesis of the guys who post there, and I feel less than there.

I get pangs of jealousy when I see someone brightly outgoing, because I'm constitutionally-reserved and not naturally funny except in a sarcastic way.

I don't get jealous of people's interactions...this is Lit. People are going to do what they do. Who I am I judge?