Litiquette VI

[Dribble]

I can be. I dont always understand why people make the choices they do. It makes no logical sense in my head no matter how it is twisted. Why not me? You wanna be with them? Wow. Ok. What I am learning...is that I am the common thread.

 

[Suz_anne]

I am not a jealous person when it comes to other people's lives or the good things that they have that I may not.

In relationships, I have definitely been jealous. But it usually happened when the person I had feelings for not giving me the time I need and giving it to someone else instead. I find it difficult to believe that is not a universal truth.

And there have been a few times when someone moved on awfully fast and that tends to bring out the green monster. That makes me feel like there's no way I was as important to them as I thought. Ouch.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I can get jealous. Not of other women or material things, but of time. If I know someone could be spending time with me or talking to me, but they choose to do something else, that can make me jealous. Sounds irrational, but I own it.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I don’t usually feel jealous of people, but I do feel envious. I think the main distinction is that envy is a motivating factor and jealousy is just destructive.

If I see that someone has a better personality than me, they’re funny, charming, socially adept, and knowledgeable then I will instantly hate them. Just kidding, but I will be envious of them and I will study them and try to figure out how I can have more of those type of traits. Hopefully it makes me a better version of me.

I think jealously is just pointless. It’s a fear of having something taken away. Maybe my envy can override my jealousy? If I see a guy who has something I don’t have but want, I can work toward getting it and if it goes away it won’t matter because I acquired the ability to get it once so I’ll just get another one?

I don’t even know what I mean by that, but there is something to it.

Envy can override jealousy if you use it right. I’m going to have to think about that a little more. If someone else figures it out before me I’m going to be so jealous!

 

[Endless_Night]

I am not a jealous person when it comes to other people's lives or the good things that they have that I may not.

This^. If I want things I don't have I figure it's my business to work for them.

Otherwise? No. Not jealous.

I can be possessive, though. When asked to explain the difference, the best description would be that jealously is hot while possessiveness is cold. If I do not get the attention (or whatever) I want/need you absolutely will be hearing my thoughts on the subject.

If that can't be worked out, well, adieu.

If it can, great. What you do on your own time? I do not care. At all.

My one exception seems to be submission. I can be kinda cray-cray o). At least, that's what it feels like to me. I'm not sure if it's the deeper intimacy, or the giving up of control, or what, but it makes me feel so vulnerable and out of control. It may be that I'm not even that jealous? It's hard for me to judge with no scale. I just know that - possibly due to no experience - I do not deal with it well.

It gets better with time, fortunately. How people deal with it on a regular basis I simply do not know.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I don’t usually feel jealous of people, but I do feel envious. I think the main distinction is that envy is a motivating factor and jealousy is just destructive.

If I see that someone has a better personality than me, they’re funny, charming, socially adept, and knowledgeable then I will instantly hate them. Just kidding, but I will be envious of them and I will study them and try to figure out how I can have more of those type of traits. Hopefully it makes me a better version of me.

I think jealously is just pointless. It’s a fear of having something taken away. Maybe my envy can override my jealousy? If I see a guy who has something I don’t have but want, I can work toward getting it and if it goes away it won’t matter because I acquired the ability to get it once so I’ll just get another one?

I don’t even know what I mean by that, but there is something to it.

Envy can override jealousy if you use it right. I’m going to have to think about that a little more. If someone else figures it out before me I’m going to be so jealous!

There are books about this

 

[Endless_Night]

< Envy can override jealousy if you use it right. I’m going to have to think about that a little more. >

I don't get envy, either.

This is going to sound so weird, but, here goes -

I have actually learned to express it sometimes to avoid putting people off. You know, little stuff. Like: Oh. You're going on a trip to Tango Tango? I'm so envious!

Yeah, I'm not. But if you don't do/say something occasionally people find it strange.

If it's stuff, or attainments, I assume I can get there or achieve, if I want it and am willing to work hard enough.

Traits others have that I don't? Eh. I don't know. I just…I don't know. I defiantly don't get why other people care.

I know.

I'm strange.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

My one exception seems to be submission. I can be kinda cray-cray o). At least, that's what it feels like to me. I'm not sure if it's the deeper intimacy, or the giving up of control, or what, but it makes me feel so vulnerable and out of control. It may be that I'm not even that jealous? It's hard for me to judge with no scale. I just know that - possibly due to no experience - I do not deal with it well.

It gets better with time, fortunately. How people deal with it on a regular basis I simply do not know.

I find this interesting because when I am completely vulnerable and have given up all control, I’ve never felt so confident and empowered. Maybe it’s because it’s always been in the context of having a deep level of trust with my partner, I don’t know.

 

[Endless_Night]

I find this interesting because when I am completely vulnerable and have given up all control, I’ve never felt so confident and empowered. Maybe it’s because it’s always been in the context of having a deep level of trust with my partner, I don’t know.

I think my experience might be unusual? I'm an offbeat sort of sexual submissive, at least, I think. It's an enormous struggle. Both getting to the point of submission an being able to continue. I am always fighting to escape.

Really quite exhausting.

Seriously, though. A weird variation on the kink, I've come to believe.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

See, pmann- we're a bunch of heartless harpies up in here

 

[Endless_Night]

*flexes leathery wings*

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I think my experience might be unusual? I'm an offbeat sort of sexual submissive, at least, I think. It's an enormous struggle. Both getting to the point of submission an being able to continue. I am always fighting to escape.

Really quite exhausting.

Seriously, though. A weird variation on the kink, I've come to believe.

Do you enjoy it?

I was taken by surprise by how much I came to crave it.

 

[Endless_Night]

Do you enjoy it?

I was taken by surprise by how much I came to crave it.

It. Is. Epic.

I also hate it. Hate the dependence.

Fortunately? I am so rarely attracted. And even then it takes guile and perseverance to wrestle me down, and the patience of Job to hold onto me.

It is a conundrum.

 

[Endless_Night]

A couple of thoughts, since once again,

I AM UNABLE TO SLEEP

< and will get left behind for someone better. >

Could it be that they're just different, not better? And could the trick just be finding people that like your personal version of different?

< not naturally funny except in a sarcastic way.>

Sarcastic wit has plenty of room to be hawt. Just sayin'

 

[Lord Pmann]

I saw a few people mention some feelings of... Inadequacy? Is that the right word? Maybe, feeling like you don't compare with others? Lit is a tough place to feel that. Mainly because it's a place where connections can come and go. There can be a prettier cock or bigger boobs or a more clever poster. If you think about that stuff too much, you'll drive yourself mad for sure. So this leads me to my question...

How hard do you work to be liked? How much value do you put on your reputation here? To building your brand? How about outside of Lit? Or on other social media. Instagram or Facebook or MySpace. That's right. I said MySpace, motherfuckers.

Jim Croce- I've Got a Name
https://youtu.be/YcqauC49Xmc

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I saw a few people mention some feelings of... Inadequacy? Is that the right word? Maybe, feeling like you don't compare with others? Lit is a tough place to feel that. Mainly because it's a place where connections can come and go. There can be a prettier cock or bigger boobs or a more clever poster. If you think about that stuff too much, you'll drive yourself mad for sure. So this leads me to my question...

How hard do you work to be liked? How much value do you put on your reputation here? To building your brand? How about outside of Lit? Or on other social media. Instagram or Facebook or MySpace. That's right. I said MySpace, motherfuckers.

Jim Croce- I've Got a Name
https://youtu.be/YcqauC49Xmc

Everyone wants to be liked, well most of us anyway, but honestly the older I get, the less I give a fuck about what people think of me. Here on Lit, I am as real and sincere as I am in real life. I think you get out of it what you put into it. I don’t do or say things for the sake of wanting to be liked. I try to be kind and reach out to people if I can tell they are hurting. I send random PjM’s for no real reason other than to hopefully make someone smile or make a new friend.

There are people who don’t like me and I am ok with that because you’re never going to please everyone all of the time.

I wouldn’t say I spend time building my brand necessarily, but I do spend time investing in people I care about and people I want to get to know.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

I saw a few people mention some feelings of... Inadequacy? Is that the right word? Maybe, feeling like you don't compare with others? Lit is a tough place to feel that. Mainly because it's a place where connections can come and go. There can be a prettier cock or bigger boobs or a more clever poster. If you think about that stuff too much, you'll drive yourself mad for sure. So this leads me to my question...

How hard do you work to be liked? How much value do you put on your reputation here? To building your brand? How about outside of Lit? Or on other social media. Instagram or Facebook or MySpace. That's right. I said MySpace, motherfuckers.

Jim Croce- I've Got a Name
https://youtu.be/YcqauC49Xmc

I stopped caring about any "reputation" here a while ago. I am who and what I am. Positives and negatives. If I don't appeal to your tastes when I share an opinion or express myself? Well, there are thousands of users here, and that's gonna happen. I'm not going to stress about it.

If you try to get to know me (which is rare enough to be almost hypothetical) and you decide early on that I'm not your cup of tea? Same thing applies...I'm just a guy, in a sea of thousands of guys. I'm not going to be hurt by it. I had to learn that lesson the hard way early in my time here, many moons ago.

There are those here whose opinions I respect, and whom I care for. Those are the exceptions to the above, but I'm still me...there was a time when I would let others' opinions and such sway me. I had to break myself of that habit. It was harder than I would have liked.

Anyway, I'm not a brand. I'm just a guy. And I don't do other social media, except as a consumer of news in a non-interactive way. So I don't give a shit about that branding, either.

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I saw a few people mention some feelings of... Inadequacy? Is that the right word? Maybe, feeling like you don't compare with others? Lit is a tough place to feel that. Mainly because it's a place where connections can come and go. There can be a prettier cock or bigger boobs or a more clever poster. If you think about that stuff too much, you'll drive yourself mad for sure. So this leads me to my question...

How hard do you work to be liked? How much value do you put on your reputation here? To building your brand? How about outside of Lit? Or on other social media. Instagram or Facebook or MySpace. That's right. I said MySpace, motherfuckers.

Jim Croce- I've Got a Name
https://youtu.be/YcqauC49Xmc

I think it’s pretty obvious I really don’t give a rat’s ass if I’m liked or not here, I’m the same here as I am IRL. I’ve always been an independent rebellious type, these days I actually have zero desire to conform or be like anyone else. I don’t worry about comparisons with the other women here. I also don’t have an issue with the any of them with a couple of exceptions, who earned my dislike and need to stay out of my business or watch out

I don’t even have an issue with people teasing or mocking me (about Stable’s, Pmann) you shouldn’t be here if you can’t handle a bit of that. This is a sex hookup site, so it’s not important in the big picture of life, it’s fun and I have friends here I care about. But I don’t worry about my reputation, what you see is what you get with me. I am touched at how many reach out to me when I’m hurt, but I do wear my heart on my sleeve, confirmation if you need it that I’m very open and approachable.

I don’t do Social Media at all otherwise, I’m one of those rarities with no Facebook or Linked in for two years now... and I don’t miss them at all. I think FB became a pointless to me when people would add me there and then not say hello in Walmart I mean seriously wtf! Instagram I have been on as it’s been an income stream, but right now I’m off that too.

And yes I once was a MySpace motherfucker, thanks for making me feel old!

 

[StacyLeigh]

Of all the things in life to spend time on, being liked is at the bottom of my list. I've been told I'm quite genuine - which means a lot - but beyond that I'm either your flavor or not. This is true on Lit or out in the world. I don't want to put effort into making people like or appreciate me. That, however, does not keep me from sometimes feeling inadequate - I simply don't change who I am to "fix" it.

Brand is a funny thing. I'd like to say "I am who I am", but that's not always the case. The person I am in a professional setting (self-assured, directive, some might say bossy) is not the person I am with those close to me or even here on Lit. I guess "I am who I am, unless I need to be someone else to get shit done".

Anyway, I'm not a brand. I'm just a guy. And I don't do other social media, except as a consumer of news in a non-interactive way. So I don't give a shit about that branding, either.

Someone once told me "Guys are cliches. Dudes are laid back."... I think that fits you, dude

 

[BongoGal]

This is a sex hookup site...

It is?!?!? I had better shower soon!

 

[Endless_Night]

I was more concerned back at the beginning of my time on Lit. Not only was it my first message board (and still only social media), but I started out in BDSM. I believe it's changed muchly now, but back then it was a tough crowd. Newcomers weren't encouraged and people positively rushed to let you know if you didn't make the grade.

Now? Eh.

Eh, even more as I tend to flit in and out. When I do pop in my tendency is to stick to threads and people I know. I'm not averse to making new friends, but it's certainly not a priority.


Can I say how shocked I was the first time someone demanded a pic?


That went over like a ton of bricks.

If you're worried about me being a dude, just assume I am one. Safer for all parties.

 

[parker77]

I was more concerned back at the beginning of my time on Lit. Not only was it my first message board (and still only social media), but I started out in BDSM. I believe it's changed muchly now, but back then it was a tough crowd. Newcomers weren't encouraged and people positively rushed to let you know if you didn't make the grade.

Now? Eh.

Eh, even more as I tend to flit in and out. When I do pop in my tendency is to stick to threads and people I know. I'm not averse to making new friends, but it's certainly not a priority.


Can I say how shocked I was the first time someone demanded a pic?


That went over like a ton of bricks.

If you're worried about me being a dude, just assume I am one. Safer for all parties.

thanks for the insights, dude!

 

[Endless_Night]

thanks for the insights, dude!

Hahahaha!

 

[hotwords229_A]

As a fan of confirmation bias I called my mom and asked her if I’m likeable.
“You’re kind of . . . meh” she said.

I prefer to be feared more than liked. Actually, as a reclusive, hermit-type, introvert, I kind of go out of my way to avoid people thinking about me at all. Subsequently, everyone seems to like me. I think it’s my standoffish smile that makes people think I’m worthy of further inspection.

As for my brand on Lit, all I can say is that when I would post a naked dude pic I would always put the disclaimer caption “for the ladies”. One day Aussie told me to knock it off and just post the pics, so I did. Shares in the hotwords brand have climbed tremendously since then.

But you guys know I’m straight right . . . RIGHT?

 

[Endless_Night]

< But you guys know I’m straight right . . . RIGHT?

As a possible dude, I am on the fence.