Litiquette VI

[Endless_Night]

< I felt pushed out and excluded. This still happens. >

People mention the many users on the board, but it fails to take into account that most lurk. The number of frequent posters isn't all that high. If someone targets you with their dislike, or some bad feeling goes public, Lit can feel mighty small. So very unpleasant.

I think we've all been there to some extent.

I"m not immune, myself, even in these days of less frequent visits. If I'm in a sensitive spot, or dealing real-life difficulties, you might not see me on the board.

 

[Elgirldani]

I saw a few people mention some feelings of... Inadequacy? Is that the right word? Maybe, feeling like you don't compare with others? Lit is a tough place to feel that. Mainly because it's a place where connections can come and go. There can be a prettier cock or bigger boobs or a more clever poster. If you think about that stuff too much, you'll drive yourself mad for sure. So this leads me to my question...

How hard do you work to be liked? How much value do you put on your reputation here? To building your brand? How about outside of Lit? Or on other social media. Instagram or Facebook or MySpace. That's right. I said MySpace, motherfuckers.

Jim Croce- I've Got a Name
https://youtu.be/YcqauC49Xmc

I like to be liked, but I try really hard not to work at it. When you start working to make people like you, they often don’t really like you, just the effort you’re putting into them... in my experience as soon as you no longer put in the effort, poof!

I think one of the biggest challenges for newcomers such as myself is that there are so many long time posters who are happy with their groups of friends and seemingly closed off to new posters, and in the threads they tend to flock together. Maybe this in not a conscious act on their parts, but it can be very intimidating to come in and feel invisible 90% of the time. That being said, I try, and mostly succeed at not taking it personally and now that I’ve been here for a year, it’s very rare that I feel that way, even if people aren’t interacting with me at any given moment.

Do I have a reputation here? Idk. If so I hope it’s good

Brand... hmmm. I don’t think I’ve really worked to create a brand, so much as to always be as authentic as I can be. This means a lot of my posts aren’t always sunny and cheerful; that’s not who I am irl, most of the time, so naturally that bleeds into online. I like to have fun and smile and laugh too though, and I hope that my posts have sometimes conveyed that part of my personality too.

I don’t do much with other social media, in fact I’m much more of a lurker on those types of sites than I am here. Ahh, the good old days of MySpace

I’m glad I stumbled upon this thread... thanks for making me think today.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I saw a few people mention some feelings of... Inadequacy? Is that the right word? Maybe, feeling like you don't compare with others? Lit is a tough place to feel that. Mainly because it's a place where connections can come and go. There can be a prettier cock or bigger boobs or a more clever poster. If you think about that stuff too much, you'll drive yourself mad for sure. So this leads me to my question...

How hard do you work to be liked? How much value do you put on your reputation here? To building your brand? How about outside of Lit? Or on other social media. Instagram or Facebook or MySpace. That's right. I said MySpace, motherfuckers.

Jim Croce- I've Got a Name
https://youtu.be/YcqauC49Xmc

I was a PG Cool Kid back in 2015 and into 2016 when I joined. I wasn’t trying to be - but I was online A LOT. Then I moved to the GB and again fell in with cool kids, even dating one. But I’m shunned now after breaking some cool kid code and hurting some Lit friends in the process. I could have created “an alt” and tried to come back with a new brand, but (a) that’s a lot of work and lying and (b) I just don’t care enough to go through all that. I’ve seen the ugly side of Lit (and been part of it), and it’s just not for me. Do I want to be liked? Of course - it makes for a better online experience. But I’m also lazy. So I have to rely on my wit and boobs.

I put some work into Litsy but that’s about it. And that’s because books.

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I asked your mom the same thing about you this morning in the shower.

Hi five

This post wins my day. I lol’d in public. But it’s cool because no one is nearby #socialdistancing

 

[Endless_Night]

I was a PG Cool Kid >

I feel this^ should really be the title of a book. One of those lurid self-confessionals.

The whole cool kid concept is big ball of entertainment all on it's own. I'm never sure what surprises me more. When it's people I consider friends, people I don't, or people whose name I struggle to place.

< I think one of the biggest challenges for newcomers such as myself is that there are so many long time posters who are happy with their groups of friends and seemingly closed off to new posters, and in the threads they tend to flock together. Maybe this in not a conscious act on their parts, but it can be very intimidating to come in and feel invisible 90% of the time. >

I've read this so many times. Rarely do I think it's intentional. People just get in a groove, ya know? Still, seriously sucks to feel on the receiving end.

Not sure if you've posted here before? If not, welcome.

 

[Elgirldani]

*snip*

I've read this so many times. Rarely do I think it's intentional. People just get in a groove, ya know? Still, seriously sucks to feel on the receiving end.

Not sure if you've posted here before? If not, welcome.

Never posted in this thread, no. Thanks for the welcome

Yeah, as I said, I don’t take it personally. Mostly. Lol but I think part of being a social species is the inherent desire to fit in. That looks different for each of us, and is stronger in some then others, but it’s there. Just my take

 

[hotwords229_A]

I asked your mom the same thing about you this morning in the shower.

Hi five

https://66.media.tumblr.com/d595b0af9a8dc7180509324b3b904d70/cc32c768baf22127-b8/s500x750/74c37fb7a5bcc61376740ce0cdb22b6d30e40422.gifv

Are you sure it was her?

 

[Lord Pmann]

https://66.media.tumblr.com/d595b0af9a8dc7180509324b3b904d70/cc32c768baf22127-b8/s500x750/74c37fb7a5bcc61376740ce0cdb22b6d30e40422.gifv

Are you sure it was her?

Her Tinder and FetLife profile names were Hotwords229_A’sMomWifBigTits.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Pmann I think you should answer your own question today. I’m curious about your answers.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Pmann I think you should answer your own question today. I’m curious about your answers.

(Go back a page. He has wet dreams for Trekka and desperately wants to be Australian)

 

[hotwords229_A]

(Go back a page. He has wet dreams for Trekka and desperately wants to be Australian)

And, apparently, he wishes he was my dad!

 

[hotwords229_A]

if you say so, dude.

I also forgot to say, how dare you!

 

[Fermina_Daza]

I feel this^ should really be the title of a book. One of those lurid self-confessionals.

The whole cool kid concept is big ball of entertainment all on it's own. I'm never sure what surprises me more. When it's people I consider friends, people I don't, or people whose name I struggle to place.

I only got invited because I had a fairly decent book thread. So it’s quite possible I was cool to other book nerds only. I’m good with that.

Hmmm, trying to think what else I can self-confess....

 

[Lord Pmann]

(Go back a page. He has wet dreams for Trekka and desperately wants to be Australian)

Half of that is true. The Australian part. Not that someone shouldn’t have wet dreams for her. But I’m classy and we are just friends.

 

[Lord Pmann]

And, apparently, he wishes he was my dad!

Son, we need to have a talk.

Pmann I think you should answer your own question today. I’m curious about your answers.

I gave the best answer ever.

 

[85Ironman]

I stopped caring about any "reputation" here a while ago. I am who and what I am. Positives and negatives. If I don't appeal to your tastes when I share an opinion or express myself? Well, there are thousands of users here, and that's gonna happen. I'm not going to stress about it.

If you try to get to know me (which is rare enough to be almost hypothetical) and you decide early on that I'm not your cup of tea? Same thing applies...I'm just a guy, in a sea of thousands of guys. I'm not going to be hurt by it. I had to learn that lesson the hard way early in my time here, many moons ago.

There are those here whose opinions I respect, and whom I care for. Those are the exceptions to the above, but I'm still me...there was a time when I would let others' opinions and such sway me. I had to break myself of that habit. It was harder than I would have liked.

Anyway, I'm not a brand. I'm just a guy. And I don't do other social media, except as a consumer of news in a non-interactive way. So I don't give a shit about that branding, either.

This.

 

[Lord Pmann]

There’s a lot of really good replies here. This thread is really enjoyable thanks to you all. Mostly me, really. But your responses help.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The cool kids...

This got mentioned yesterday. I always find this to be a fascinating topic. Our perception of the cool kids varies so much from person to person. I’m going to break this topic up into two parts- Lit and non-Lit.

Let’s talk about Lit, first. What do you think makes one of the cool kids at Lit? Do you feel like you are one of the cool kids? If not, do you resent it? Do you long to be part of that group and their witty banter and all their cool virtual parties?

Non-Lit- How do you fall into the caste system of high school or college? Were you popular? Well-liked? Or were you getting your hair styled by toilet water every morning?


Echosmith- Cool Kids
https://youtu.be/SSCzDykng4g

 

[parker77]

The cool kids...

This got mentioned yesterday. I always find this to be a fascinating topic. Our perception of the cool kids varies so much from person to person. I’m going to break this topic up into two parts- Lit and non-Lit.

Let’s talk about Lit, first. What do you think makes one of the cool kids at Lit? Do you feel like you are one of the cool kids? If not, do you resent it? Do you long to be part of that group and their witty banter and all their cool virtual parties?

Non-Lit- How do you fall into the caste system of high school or college? Were you popular? Well-liked? Or were you getting your hair styled by toilet water every morning?


Echosmith- Cool Kids
https://youtu.be/SSCzDykng4g

oh, the cool kids of Lit. you know who you are, though often you will deny it. please don’t. it’s demeaning to the others. btw, what do we call ourselves, us “non-cool” kids? we need a handle for genpop, other than genpop.

anyway, to my mind, there are two kinds of cool kids on Lit. there are the non-exclusive cool kids like IHC who are popular and generally enjoyed by nearly all on Lit. generally, they’re friendly, maybe a little guarded. still, they tend to make others smile.

then there is that exclusive group of popular Litsters who always respond to each other’s posts, expect others to respond to their posts and typically ignore posts of others they don’t consider cool. often they have inside jokes and make unexplained, coded references on Lit to experiences or conversations they’ve held privately or away from Lit. it’s a John Hughes movie scenario.

me, i don’t fit into either category of cool kids of Lit. i’m genpop. i’m am often aloof and less considerate of others than i should be, but hey, i got my faults. i don’t long to be a cool kid of Lit. sometimes it is annoying to have posts be completely ignored, but it doesn’t keep me awake at night. i still enjoy my time here and like reading some of the more clever and interesting exchanges. plus there’s pics!

RL is and always has been quite different. i’ve been blessed with success since early high school. sometimes i’ve been a total dick about it, again, i have flaws. somehow, i’ve always been able to navigate across all groups and have all types of friends from folks who live in the struggles to the high and mighty. as i’ve aged i’ve become more appreciative of my privilege and tried to use it to change outcomes for others. i’m still a dick from time to time, but try to not get too full of myself. so, maybe i’m an uncool cool kid in RL?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I got major street cred when I formed a close friendship with clowns and I think people consider me popular. I don't know if people think I'm standoffish

Here's a little interesting tidbit- I have pretty much all my conversations out in public, and I'm not really orchestrating anything with anyone. I have the ability to banter with the weirdos in here and sometimes I think people may think there are meetings or something. I've gotten exactly 2 PMs pointing me to a thread to post in. I tend to put my blinders on and stick to threads I've subscribed to.

In real life, nope- not what you would consider popular. I'm that social chameleon who blends in (yet stands out) anywhere. I'm well like by most but not that stereotypical popular person. I know what I like. I'm hella odd and prefer genuine, authentic connection to superficial chit chat.

There's a Kik group full of playgrounders that honey invited me to years ago. It was fun but SO fast paced. I couldn't keep up and silently exited. They were all great people and I appreciated the thought of being involved but at the end of the day, I prefer my stupid texts the few I chat with. I've made a few really good friends here. They're different to friends I make in the real world but no less valued or important.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Me, too. I've seen it mentioned and clowns alluded to it happening. Granted, I have no idea if that's how it goes now or not

 

[DDBustyBrit]

The cool kids...

This got mentioned yesterday. I always find this to be a fascinating topic. Our perception of the cool kids varies so much from person to person. I’m going to break this topic up into two parts- Lit and non-Lit.

Let’s talk about Lit, first. What do you think makes one of the cool kids at Lit? Do you feel like you are one of the cool kids? If not, do you resent it? Do you long to be part of that group and their witty banter and all their cool virtual parties?

Non-Lit- How do you fall into the caste system of high school or college? Were you popular? Well-liked? Or were you getting your hair styled by toilet water every morning?


Echosmith- Cool Kids
https://youtu.be/SSCzDykng4g

To clique or not to clique... that IS the question in Lit & High School...

I’m firmly in the the ‘not’ group

 

[parker77]

i love how nobody (including me) is claiming the cool kid tag.

 

[Lord Pmann]

SOMEBODY has to be popular around here.

Re: Lit

I would say I’m popular in terms of being well known. Not necessarily well liked by everyone. I’d say I’m more polarizing than most. Maybe Notorious Lord Pmann is better. I’d say I’m a different kind of cool kid.

I believe there was a time where I was probably in a more popular mode than now. I was certainly more flirty than these days. I do often say things that are wildly unpopular. By that I mean unpopular to say aloud or on the forum. I feel like a lot of what I say is genuinely what people feel or think. For that reason, I do have a lot of people who do actually like me. I tend to build strong friendships here that mean something. I have little desire to be friends with everyone. Not out of a principle thing. But how can I be a good friend to 20 people? And as I told someone earlier, Jesus only had 12 friends. One screwed him over. I must keep less than 12. Lord Jesus > Lord Pmann (>everyone else)

I am always interested when I see people talk about how they see themselves on the caste system. Everyone can’t be the untouchables. Like, Indie says she doesn’t see herself as popular. I disagree. I think she is quite popular. She’s pretty nice. She has an avatar that would catch people’s’ eyes. And she posts a lot. That’s all the makings of popularity. Oh, and she fake lezzes. Being popular isn’t necessarily bad. Some of the popular people are major cunts. Indie isn’t. Minor, at worst.

And reading SexyBritches post yesterday about feeling unliked was shocking. She’s nice and reasonable and just genuinely a good person. I have a hard time imagining why or how she could be unliked.

It’s obvious why no one will talk to AGG off of here. Maybe one of the nice people like Suzanne will take her under her wing. Give her a friend. Somebody. Please.

For men, Lit has a currency of eloquence, humour and wit. Those are the first noticeable factors.

For women; Lit has a currency of flirtation, humour and boobs.

It is very possible to be very popular, for all the wrong reasons.

I’ll talk about outside lit later.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

i love how nobody (including me) is claiming the cool kid tag.

I kinda did