Litiquette V

[Paul_Chance]

I'm an extrovert so I don't need a reason to start engaging strangers - everything from a simple hello in passing to full blown conversations. The general things that trigger an interaction are already mentioned - eye contact, a smile, an opening comment from a stranger, or an offer to help someone who may look like they need it.

When those don't exist and when the circumstances are right I'll made that initial comment - something about the environment, something about a person, something about the circumstances. Here is a little trick for you non-extroverts to try if you want to engage strangers.

When you make the opening contact you have to give them a hook to respond - make a statement to set the opening, then a question to draw them through the opening and use my patented triad of engagement - a specific circumstances, self revelation, and direct engagement. Don't just say "Wow, what a rainy day" say "I thought I was going to get washed away in the parking lot out there, I might need to keep my surfboard in the car! Have you ever seen rain this heavy in October?"

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'm not super aggressive when it comes to meeting people. I mean, if you're talking here on Lit, someone has to post something interesting. Or, have a really hot avatar. Yeah. I'm that classy.

In my every day life, they need to be similarly intriguing. Or maybe have their boobs out.

 

[Bitesback]

I used to live near a large backpacker hostel and always stopped to ask people staring into maps looking bewildered if they needed help. I'm polite with people with whom I transact, sometimes just basic manners and a friendly smile, other times I'm more solicitous, a word of encouragement for trainee staff, or of welcome to someone new, a compliment to someone who might appreciate it, or may look tired at the end of the day. I'm not an extrovert, so I did like Paul's suggestions. I try a similar approach at times. If I find myself at an event on my own, I often strike up a conversation with people. And I sometimes find occasion to approach strangers in seeking signatures for petitions, handing out community information, candidate materials etc. I hope people find me friendly. It's good to be kind and we could all do with sharing more smiles.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

Most often the situation prompts me to engage. Something funny happens or something I can relate to. I'm far more engaging now than when I was young. I'm not a in your face engaging like Buddy The Elf, but I won't hesitate to interact in many situations.

 

[ChainedUp]

Today is flip side Wednesday. So the converse of yesterday, how do you receive strangers that strike up conversation with you? Is location important, are you more likely to be chatty at an airport than the grocery store? Do you wonder what their angle is? Does their appearance impact your reply, prettier people being received better?

 

[Paul_Chance]

Today is flip side Wednesday. So the converse of yesterday, how do you receive strangers that strike up conversation with you? Is location important, are you more likely to be chatty at an airport than the grocery store? Do you wonder what their angle is? Does their appearance impact your reply, prettier people being received better?

Location (and what I am doing at the moment) does matter. There are points in a day where a detailed conversation just isn't possible and points in the day where a conversation with a stranger fits perfectly.

I do sometimes wonder what someone's angle is, but I wonder that about everyone as sort of a natural curiosity. LOL - and I do for my own entertainment panhandle panhandlers.

Appearance doesn't matter for the initial engagement but it can and does influence the direction and or duration of a conversation if I find the person attractive and come to view them as a potential sexual partner.

 

[ChainedUp]

Thursday funday.....

When was the last time you chose fun over responsibility? Was it PG fun or was it naughty? Has your definition of fun changed over the years? Would you want to go back and relive that once incredibly fun time or is it better as a memory?

Pick one, pick all......

 

[Hornblende]

When was the last time you chose fun over responsibility? Was it PG fun or was it naughty? Has your definition of fun changed over the years? Would you want to go back and relive that once incredibly fun time or is it better as a memory?

Pick one, pick all......

Probably the last time we indulged on a hotel balcony, which wasn't totally private! At one stage we had to lie completely still for some minutes to preclude discovery...

 

[SMNaughtywife]

When was the last time you chose fun over responsibility? Was it PG fun or was it naughty? Has your definition of fun changed over the years? Would you want to go back and relive that once incredibly fun time or is it better as a memory?

Pick one, pick all......

That's what Fridays are for, straight up naughty.

 

[beachbaby179]

I'm too practical. I tend to save fun time for when it's convenient (aka I have no pressing responsibility ). That inclused "me time". Except when it comes to my boys. I will drop anything to spend a fun day with them. They're grown now and don't include me often. So when they do...

 

[Suz_anne]

When was the last time you chose fun over responsibility? Was it PG fun or was it naughty? Has your definition of fun changed over the years? Would you want to go back and relive that once incredibly fun time or is it better as a memory?

Pick one, pick all......

I choose fun fairly frequently. I'd say it's close to a 50/50 split. My life allows for that, which is nice. Now that being said, I don't often choose fun over a time-sensitive or high-impact-to-others type of responsibility. If it is a choice between doing dishes or going out to eat so I don't have to deal with dishes... then my dilemma is should we go for pad thai or falafels? But if it is a choice between honoring an obligation to help someone or blowing them off to go to the lake with friends... I honor my obligations. And then maybe try to make it to the lake later for the bonfire.

My definition of fun has most definitely changed over the years. I'm not anywhere near the party girl that I used to be. And I think memories are better left as just that.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I choose fun very frequently (every day) and I approach the world with the POV that you can make almost anything fun, partly by just diving in and transforming it - make it light hearted, make it a game (even work).

My definition has changed over the years. It's opened up and transformed. My hard partying days ended a long time ago when I came to the conclusion it was a waste of time, money, and emotion. I still do many of the same things - parties, festivals, live music, dancing, clubs, etc., I just don't drink. It's actually far more entertaining when you're sober because the opportunity to mess with intoxicated peoples heads is very great.

As for naughty fun - LOL - again changed as I got older. Now, unless there is a true emergency the answer is always yes.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I masturbate a lot. Sooooo...

 

[Matt_Next_Door]

Responsibilities always come first....

Thank goodness it is my responsibility to have as much naughty fun as possible.

 

[Suz_anne]

I masturbate a lot. Sooooo...

So lots of crying.

 

[default24]

So lots of crying.

Won't that be normal?

 

[Suz_anne]

Won't that be normal?

For Pmann, yes.

Et tu, default?

 

[default24]

For Pmann, yes.

Et tu, default?

Only if I'm watching 'The Notebook'
I can't help myself!

 

[Suz_anne]

Only if I'm watching 'The Notebook'
I can't help myself!

That Ryan Gosling is pretty dreamy. I get it.

 

[default24]

That Ryan Gosling is pretty dreamy. I get it.

Oh, I'm right there with you... We weren't referencing the crying, right?

 

[ChainedUp]

Planning. We all plan to some degree. Some like to plan every little aspect, while others just point the car toward the sun and go. But no matter how much or how little planning you do, that plan is bound to go awry. How do you respond when your plan goes sideways? Do you a backup plan? A back up to a back up? Or do you not really care and accept whatever winds up falling your way? Is one better than the other?

 

[Mrtenant]

Planning. We all plan to some degree. Some like to plan every little aspect, while others just point the car toward the sun and go. But no matter how much or how little planning you do, that plan is bound to go awry. How do you respond when your plan goes sideways? Do you a backup plan? A back up to a back up? Or do you not really care and accept whatever winds up falling your way? Is one better than the other?

I am a long time veteran of plans that have gone sideways and a champion in adjustment for those eventualities.

In many cases, that will be the back up plan. Adjust accordingly.

There are many cases just as well, where when planning, a backup plan is necessary. And a backup to the backup plan. And I wouldn't have it any other way. It is an absolute necessity, especially given my line of work.

Sometimes? A plan that goes awry turns out for the best anyway. That seems rare though. But one can't always tell at the time.

 

[Suz_anne]

As someone who makes plans for a living, I find back-up plans to be soothing. Though I'm constantly amazed at how often things go sideways... even with the most thoughtful planning.

In my personal life, I'm much more loosey goosey.

 

[numeniusa]

At work, I'm the hideously boring one with plans, backup plans, backup plans for the backup plans and so on, to a ridiculous degree. The times when I'm caught out are ... well, statistically insignificant. Yawn.

Outside of work, I like to plan enough that I feel comfortable that my fun won't be spoiled, and only for that. But if it goes another way, I'm OK with that. (Mostly. )

 

[Matt_Next_Door]

From years and years of operation/project management, the cornerstone of my successes were in the details of long-range planning, mapping out, implementing and delivering on time something that started out as a concept and through those boring and intricate plans became realities...whether they were brick and mortar ideas or improvement goals for a future target date. In doing so, you can not become so rigid that you can't compensate for unexpected challenges as they arise so backups and backups to backups are just part of the preliminary planning process as well as on-the-fly decisions and adaptations.

Moving to Hawaii has made me less of a planner and more of a "Whatever/when ever" person. It seems no one here sweats the details...or in social planning anyway which is where I spend my time these days...socializing. It's a more spur- of- the-moment lifestyle and it took a while for me to adjust and acclimate.

I still like to have a bit of a plan or direction but it's at a much simpler pace where decisions and planning are more about which ocean park to meet at and who's bringing the grill rather than how are we going to schedule continuous operation during multi million dollar rennos and all those tiny little details that need to be addressed and planned out before the concept is even out of the gate.

Nowadays it's just the strategic planning of how many beers I need to put in the cooler. The slower pace of the islands and the tropical breezes seem to suit me.