Lit and Plausible Deniability

[SimGuy]

I've been thinking about this for a few days now. Yet this thread is somewhat similar to one that sprang up recently.

I have a not-so-hypothetical situation that I could use some advice on:

It is time to reveal to friends and family that I've met a woman and am very interested in her. However, I simply cannot reveal to these same friends and family that we met via the Lit site. What would be a plausible alternate story we could use as a means of having met each other?

We've never met in person. Never travelled to each others city or general location within the past few months. So only internet-based meetings would be possible. Also if we claim to have met through some match-making service or personals posting, the natural question would be, 'why in the world were you looking at the profile of a person in YYY state when you live in ZZZ?' It would be nice to not have to dance around that question, but if it is the best suggestion available then we'll simply have to claim momentary stupidity.

I'm sure other people have already encountered this situation and would have suggestions of a meeting site or manner in which we could claim to have met that would serve as a plausible cover-story.

Between two jobs I won't be around to bump and service this thread. Hoping the internal discussion among the regulars would help arrive at some workable solutions to this situation. If there is additional information necessary, please PM me and I'll try to respond.

Thanks to all.

Hmm, is this a Potential WeirdHarold Question????

 

[Lancecastor]

"We met through a mutual friend."

"We met at a party by chance when he/she was visiting his/her friend."

"We met as penpals through a literary discussion club."

"You're married, so you don't need to know the URL."

 

[lovetoread]

I was not ashamed.

When asked I said I met him on Lit.

Just say you met,and that its so romantic that you dont wish to talk about it.

 

[Cheyenne]

Why to you have to tell people anything yet? She is an online friend only. It doesn't sound like you EVER plan to meet her, so why mention her? Are you no longer open to meeting someone in your own city that you want to cut off any possible contact with a potential real girlfriend? And yes, I know online girlfriends are "real" too. But I think you are making your life way too complicated if you want to start announcing an online interest to family and friends. JMHO.

 

[ridddder]

Untruths are those white lies with bite

Make it a high brow acquaintance, say you met at a poetry reading. Or you share a perchant for writting, as you both subscribe to an authors forum. The key would be to make it as close to the actual truth so you don't have to remember huge differences in what you have said. For example if your lastname is barnes, so your false last name is barnsworth. When questioned about details do as a politican, grace over them with utmost vaguality, instead stressing on the points that matter such as what you know about her, and how you feel. If it all goes right, the end result will be less about how you met, but more about her and you.

I didn't know a spoon could be used for that!!!

 

[Samuari]

I know how you feel. You want to let everyone know how wonderful this new person in your life is, but in this case, Chey is right. You are being premature. You really have very little to tell any one about, and it really isn't nessary. The other thing is, how does she feel about your family and friends knowing about her? That can create problems for the future that simply don't have to be there. Take it easy, and think this through before you do anything.

 

[Weird Harold]

However, I simply cannot reveal to these same friends and family that we met via the Lit site. What would be a plausible alternate story we could use as a means of having met each other?


Hmm, is this a Potential WeirdHarold Question????

Everything is fair game for an opinionated old fart.

"We met through an online BB." Not untrue, and no more needs to be said.

 

[takingchances42]

Basically, you have decided to lie. So the key is to make it a convincing lie, and stick to it. The simpler the lie, and the more truth in it, the better.

Invent having met at a "respectable" personals site.

Or, better yet, tell each of your friends and family that you are taking a vacation, then take advantage of cheap airfares and meet in Cancun or Florida or something. That way you will be literally telling the truth when you say you met there -- on some levels. Plus, it will be good story and get you some sex on the beach time...

Personally, I would just say I met someone on the internet, and refuse (with a smile and change of subject) to answer in any more detail than that. Would rather do that than lie to friends and family...

 

[Olivianna]

I agree with Weird Harold. However it may come up, just mention that you met through an online BB. That's what I do, actually. I explain that we met through an online BB where people post threads/comments on topics ranging anywhere from movies and politics to literature and relationships. Not so far from the truth, eh?

 

[ksmybuttons]

Personally, I would just say I met someone on the internet, and refuse (with a smile and change of subject) to answer in any more detail than that. Would rather do that than lie to friends and family...

I agree. If at some point you do meet and your relationship goes further, you won't want for it to have caused a lie...

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Tell 'em you went to high school together and met at your h.s. reunion. You bumped into her and spilled grape kool-aid all over her. When you realized who it was, all the old memories came flooding back--how you had this big crush on her back then, how you've always kept a special place in your heart for her--and when you bumped into her, how her kool-aid stained smile made your knees weak.

You both found your way to the bathroom at the V.F.W. lodge where the reunion was held, and you went in to try to find some moist towelettes or something, but ended up just grabbing a big ol' wad of TP which you doused in water and green soap. You tried getting the stain out of her overalls, but to no avail.

"That's okay," she kept saying, "it's an old pair." And when she said that, your vision got fuzzy and you became light-headed. You needed some air, you told her, and so you both went outside and took a walk together.

It was magic--the stars, the moon, the traffic. . . .

And the rest, as they say, is history.

In other words, takingchances42 has got it all wrong: go for the Big Lie.

 

[takingchances42]

I agree with Weird Harold. However it may come up, just mention that you met through an online BB. That's what I do, actually. I explain that we met through an online BB where people post threads/comments on topics ranging anywhere from movies and politics to literature and relationships. Not so far from the truth, eh?

I kind of like the vague approach. Provides endless entertainment for your family and friends in discussing behind your back where and how you actually met. That way, everyone gets to decide you met in the way they want to believe you met. Your mother can decide you met at a poetry site, and your friend who knows you best can decide you met at a mutual masturbation webcam site. More fun for everybody all the way around...

 

[Olivianna]

I kind of like the vague approach. Provides endless entertainment for your family and friends in discussing behind your back where and how you actually met. That way, everyone gets to decide you met in the way they want to believe you met. Your mother can decide you met at a poetry site, and your friend who knows you best can decide you met at a mutual masturbation webcam site. More fun for everybody all the way around...

Yup. I kind of like the idea that very, very few people know how we met exactly. It is out little secret (sort of). I am purposely vague, so that others are left to fill in the blanks. 'Course it could have all backfired and my mother may think we met at a mutual masturbation webcam site, and my friends may suspect we found each other on a Nerds are Us website. Maybe I should just spill the beans.

 

[Olivianna]

It was magic--the stars, the moon, the traffic. . . .

I was there. It was the LSD in the kool-aid.

 

[Rubyfruit]

"We met as penpals through a literary discussion club."

I like this one.

 

[Rambling Rose]

I've used that one, Ruby. Worked like a charm.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I thought you told everybody that you picked me up in a lesbian leather bar, Rose.

 

[phrodeau]

"Thanks for taking an interest but we're keeping the details to ourselves, you voyeuristic nosey busybody."

 

[Rambling Rose]

I thought you told everybody that you picked me up in a lesbian leather bar, Rose.

Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon with Aunt Irma. She always did champion Anita Bryant.

 

[SimGuy]

Thanks for the input....
some of it has been - entertaining!
All of it has been welcomed, read and considered. Of course more is welcome.

Cheyenne, sorry I didn't think about putting more background details in the original message. While we've not yet met in person, we're both of an age/life-experience and enough time sharing with each other that a personal encounter would have to be rather traumatic to seriously change the direction we are mutually heading.

Hey was that worded well enough to pass for a participant at a literary discussion site!!

Yes, there are still a lot of potholes imposed by RL that need to be considered and dealt with. We'll see where things lead. I don't think either of us have completely eliminated other options, but what we're open to considering has significantly narrowed in scope. Maybe that's not completely accurate. I'm such an acquired taste that due to her amazing level of tolerance, I now have options worth considering.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Tell 'em you went to high school together and met at your h.s. reunion. You bumped into her and spilled grape kool-aid all over her. When you realized who it was, all the old memories came flooding back--how you had this big crush on her back then, how you've always kept a special place in your heart for her--and when you bumped into her, how her kool-aid stained smile made your knees weak.

You both found your way to the bathroom at the V.F.W. lodge where the reunion was held, and you went in to try to find some moist towelettes or something, but ended up just grabbing a big ol' wad of TP which you doused in water and green soap. You tried getting the stain out of her overalls, but to no avail.

"That's okay," she kept saying, "it's an old pair." And when she said that, your vision got fuzzy and you became light-headed. You needed some air, you told her, and so you both went outside and took a walk together.

Have you used this story before? You seem to have all the details down pretty good.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

I am such a thread killer!! I just hate that!!