Limericks at 10 Paces

[cookiejar]

Spiderlady has a voice like Merman
But she resembles Pee Wee Herman
a small earthquake
the windows all shake
She really causes a stir man!!

 

[cookiejar]

Whispered Promises said jeez I don't know
If my voice is really a soprano
she belted one out...no matter
Bear's glasses she did shatter
He replied better stick to the piano!!

 

[cookiejar]

Silky wants to be the new J-lo
Her voice to us she does bestow
she has the ass
a big lumpy mass
But she should make like Marcel Marceau!!

 

[cookiejar]

Rob wants to be like Julio
But he looks more like Coolio
corn rows on his head
but love he does spread
Trying to get her in the tulios!!


I know...I know it's bad!! LOL

 

[cookiejar]

Goodforu2 his singing does stink
trying to sound like Humperdinck
he ripped his pants
when just by chance
His moves were out of sync!!

 

[good4u2]

Goodforu2 his singing does stink
trying to sound like Humperdinck
he ripped his pants
when just by chance
His moves were out of sync!!

Cookies ode to my singing's mistaken...
My vocals are frequently taken,
for a professional effort.
And sometimes I'm met ,
by ladies with labia's quaken...

My girations another tale do tell,
on stage are not met very well.
Better suited for romance
than public performance
but in private my audiences swell........

anyone want a private perfomance...???LOL

 

[cookiejar]

Cookies ode to my singing's mistaken...
My vocals are frequently taken,
for a professional effort.
And sometimes I'm met ,
by ladies with labia's quaken...

My girations another tale do tell,
on stage are not met very well.
Better suited for romance
than public performance
but in private my audiences swell........

anyone want a private perfomance...???LOL

ROFL......hugsssss

 

[cookiejar]

Bannor with his lovely baritone
He sings while at work on the phone
but he really got pissed
when his clients they dissed
His rendition of "Come Suck My Bone!"

 

[middlestump1]

Stop broadcasting my infirmities to all and sundry, lmao.

Back to the car theme:

Cookie went to a sumptuous feast,
A gold coloured stretch limo she leased,
Befitting her status;
It caused a hiatus -
When returned they found 9 men deceased!

(not counting the chauffeur)

 

[cookiejar]

Stop broadcasting my infirmities to all and sundry, lmao.

Back to the car theme:

Cookie went to a sumptuous feast,
A gold coloured stretch limo she leased,
Befitting her status;
It caused a hiatus -
When returned they found 9 men deceased!

(not counting the chauffeur)

"Stop broadcasting my infirmities to all and sundry, lmao."

But it's soooo much fun

 

[ChemE_student]

A time-killing girl named ChemE
Thought these postings were something to see.
She said, “Can I play?
Will I get in the way
If I offer some bad poetry?”

“I have to leave now for Statistics
Or risk making our teacher ballistic.
I will come back later
And see if you'll cater
To desires of being artistic."

 

[cookiejar]

ChemE you know you are welcome
I always like finding a brand new chum
but as a student
is it really prudent
To make all the other pupils cum??

 

[cookiejar]

ChemE she made like Ms. Rondstadt
Unfortunately her voice was quite flat
she let out a sour note
round the room it did float
Cookie pulled in her welcome mat!!

 

[cookiejar]

"La Vie En Rose" was the song
And our Temptress sang along
but Edith Piaf
would get teed off
Cause she got the words all wrong!!

 

[good4u2]

We people of Lit often tease
with words and pics as we please
words flow like butter
and teasing each other
digitally with so much ease

In person might be somewhat strange
our personas a very wide range
from fat to thin
and back again
not looking so very deranged



welcome ChemE...another talent to make those of us poetically challenged to feel inadequate

 

[spiderlady]

rofl....

this is one thread that cheers me up.....

 

[middlestump1]

Not a limerick, but a parody of, probably, the best known part of the Rubaiyyat of Omar Khayyam (some of us are old enough to have had a bit of a classical education):



The moving finger writhes and having writhed moves on.




A private joke that one reader will understand, I hope, lol.
Apologies to everybody else.

 

[ChemE_student]

Hey! You don't know me like that!
My voice may not be quite so flat.
Ms. Cookie supposes
My audience dozes
When really they tip me their hats!

 

[middlestump1]

Bear's got a terrific harem,
Together they make quite a team,
While he's having his op.,
Middle will mind the shop,
My god, I've just had a wet dream!

 

[cookiejar]

Not a limerick, but a parody of, probably, the best known part of the Rubaiyyat of Omar Khayyam (some of us are old enough to have had a bit of a classical education):



The moving finger writhes and having writhed moves on.




A private joke that one reader will understand, I hope, lol.
Apologies to everybody else.

OMG....20 lashes with a wet noodle....how dare you not post a limerick Mr. Stump!!!!

 

[cookiejar]

Not a limerick, but a parody of, probably, the best known part of the Rubaiyyat of Omar Khayyam (some of us are old enough to have had a bit of a classical education):



The moving finger writhes and having writhed moves on.




A private joke that one reader will understand, I hope, lol.
Apologies to everybody else.

BTW...biting the writhing finger....that'll teach ya!!

 

[ChemE_student]

Hello to Good4U2.
I'm just looking for something to do.
Despite what you're sayin',
I'm really just playin';
So I shouldn't intimidate you!

 

[All by myself]

At ten paces

All By Myself doesn't know what to say
But he reads these things everyday
Cookie's the hottest
Don't let her be modest
She'd be good for a romp in the hay.


(I'm glad you like the story Cookiie.)

 

[cookiejar]

All by myself is a great writer
He just wants an overnighter
a massage first
then does his worst
Hey he's a lover not a fighter!!

 

[ChemE_student]

Adapted from my response to a friend who just read my limericks:


This friend's adoration is rightful:
At limerick-making he's frightful.
He can't write a poem,
But you get to know him--
You'll find that he's someone delightful.