Lights off?

[MaineFemale]

Guys, if you were in love with your attractive girlfriend who only liked to have sex in the dark or with very dim lighting because that is how she can relax and enjoy herself, would that be a major turnoff or deal breaker?

 

[craiger58]

Light off, lights dimmed, candle light, lights on, daylight, stadium lights at night, whatever makes her most comfortable works for me.

 

[vibes]

Absolutely not.

You have an attractive girlfriend, LS?

 

[imsobusy5]

not at all....

no deal breaker there....and dim light is very sexy

 

[Carnevil9]

I prefer plenty of light so I can enjoy how beautiful she is. But if darkness is what makes her comfy, so be it! I can always look at her in the daytime.

 

[NippleMuncher]

What does it matter? Sure, getting to see her is awesome, but would you rather be seeing her of fucking her brains out? Go with the dim lighting, you'll get more of what you want and she's still comfortable.

Sounds like she may have some body image or self confidence issues. If it were me, I'd be trying to figure out what was going on and then help her overcome the problem.

 

[FantasyXY]

Guys, if you were in love with your attractive girlfriend who only liked to have sex in the dark or with very dim lighting because that is how she can relax and enjoy herself, would that be a major turnoff or deal breaker?

OK, I'll stick my neck out here and be totally honest. Always having to have the lights off is a major turn off for me. One, it ensures that the only time for sex is at night, which sucks. And two, I am very visually stimulated. I think most men are.

An finally, if she is with me and I love her she is going to be attractive, especially to me. She would have no reason to hide herself away. I am also attracted to someone who is a little bit of an exhibitionist so it stands to reason that the kind of woman that hides in the dark and I wouldn't ever really connect in the first place.

 

[LaughingHard]

Deal breaker no. If you are worth it may be we can work on a little more light or a blindfold.

 

[jimburr35]

No

Guys, if you were in love with your attractive girlfriend who only liked to have sex in the dark or with very dim lighting because that is how she can relax and enjoy herself, would that be a major turnoff or deal breaker?

Trust and accomodation are key to any relationship. A lot of loving in the dark is better than no loving at all.

 

[Emerson40]

Guys, if you were in love with your attractive girlfriend who only liked to have sex in the dark or with very dim lighting because that is how she can relax and enjoy herself, would that be a major turnoff or deal breaker?

I dated a girl years ago who asked of this when we started getting intimate. It had little to do with relaxing, and more to do with her poor self-image, confidence, and fear that others (me) may flee screaming from the room once I saw her naked.

She wasn't a large girl by any means, but saw herself (in her mind) with rolls of body fat, and thought herself unattractive by some ridiculous, imagined standard.

I blame the Barbie doll for putting these stupid body shape ideals into the minds of young girls, and giving them the notion that you are not attractive if you don't meet these specs.

Seriously though, this thread may not be the place to discuss how women are constantly bombarded through media and other sources about what is ideal or attractive, and it is definitely not the place to reminisce about girls back in uni, but if the lights are off because of self-image or confidence issues, these issues should be dealt with. Then, you truly can relax and enjoy sex, lights on or off.


All of the above aside, lights on or off will not break the deal. Other senses are engaged when sight is limited or gone, and this can make for fun and intimate exploration, and play by feel.

 

[hd8001]

wouldn't be an issue but would like to maybe get to the point that it could be done with the lights on or during the day time.

 

[adonisjon]

Nope....lights on can be very erotic but so can lights off. The point is to turn any experience into a great time for both of you.

 

[rthnck]

How long do I want it to last

Not a dealbreaker. The less I can see the longer I can go. Men are visually stimulated creatures. You want a nice long leisurely fuck, then turn down the lights. You want a wham, bam, thank you mam, crank up the watts and amp up the dirty talk. At least that's how I roll.

 

[twister947]

I've not tried this, but there might be something to be said for total darkness. Coal mine dark. With vision sidelined, other senses would get more play. Yeah. I could dig this.

 

[Que]

The Heart of the matter:

~snip~women are constantly bombarded through media and other sources about what is ideal or attractive...~snip~

...if the lights are off because of self-image or confidence issues, these issues should be dealt with. Then, you truly can relax and enjoy sex, lights on or off. ~snip~

Doesn't have to be lit up like Ebbit's field but NO lights, EVER? What would it matter if she were "attractive"?

We all have our quirks, and sometimes they can be fun, sometimes off-putting..this one seems to me to be such a red-flag esteem issue, I would pass.

The lovely mother of my children (ex) has had a lifelong eating disorder. Putting on 10-15 or even 50 lbs was not nearly as off-putting as turning off the lights. Worse still is when esteem issue result in "no-go" zones or worst of all "no-sex".

Men are visual creatures as a generalization. Denying one of the five senses is not optimal. You need to go with a dim candle? -romantic. Need to corset in some troubling bits? -sexy You need hot-mole lovin' in the dark? -no thanks

 

[NippleMuncher]

I've not tried this, but there might be something to be said for total darkness. Coal mine dark. With vision sidelined, other senses would get more play. Yeah. I could dig this.

That's not a half bad idea, though instead of the coal mine, just wrap a blindfold on her, it will be dark the way she likes it and light the way you like it! Problem solved!

 

[Emerson40]

<< Turn The Lights On Baby

 

[MatthewVett]

It wouldn't bother me. Eyes adjust to the darkness quickly enough. I would try to encourage her to get used to doing things in more light, but if I really loved her, it's a small sacrifice.

 

[twister947]

That's not a half bad idea, though instead of the coal mine, just wrap a blindfold on her, it will be dark the way she likes it and light the way you like it! Problem solved!

I was actually contemplating two blindfolds.

I've long harbored the suspicion that a blind lover could teach me a lot. I am determined to try this.

 

[Mathematica84]

I thinking sex with dim lighting is a real turn on. Just getting a hit of my wife's lovely curves and smooth skin is arousing.

 

[IrrelevantFacts]

Personally I like having the lights on, but variety is the spice of life so lights off is still good. That being said if the lights had to be dim or off every time it gets a no from me. Its all about the self confidence.

 

[lvs2lck]

Guys, if you were in love with your attractive girlfriend who only liked to have sex in the dark or with very dim lighting because that is how she can relax and enjoy herself, would that be a major turnoff or deal breaker?

Not at all, assuming she is more comfortable in this setting she is more likely to be relaxed and orgasmic...it's 90% mental after all, right.

 

[tonguedancer]

I personally like some lights on, but not right in my face. I am a visual person and like to see details of someone's body, especially private parts up close and personal. However, lighting is not as much of a "deal breaker" as someone who doesn't share the same interests and preference for things like oral sex and dirty talk. A woman who doesn't love giving and receiving oral and is inhibited or embarrassed with dirty talk and sometimes getting slutty and down and dirty in the gutter is a woman with whom I don't think I could have something that would last long term.

 

[MrSkin]

Guys, if you were in love with your attractive girlfriend who only liked to have sex in the dark or with very dim lighting because that is how she can relax and enjoy herself, would that be a major turnoff or deal breaker?

If I was dating a woman who in her mind believes she is attractive, yet is unwilling/reluctant/frightened to share her attractiveness with her lover, I would question her logic and wonder what other illogical phobias she embraces.

 

[RedSubSweede]

Beauty needs a light shined on it to appreciate it

I am a very visual person, so the female form in subdued lighting is truly marvelous. How can you not love the rounded form of the female buttocks, the curves of the torso, the intimate v as it descends to the hidden vulva. Why would you want to hide it in the dark under the bedcovers?