Letters

[kidthor]

Dear God,

Why?

Anxiously Awaiting An Answer,
~KID~

P.S. THis is an essay question. "Just because," will simply not do.

Dear God,

Oh. That's why. Thanks for getting back to me. You're a solid brother.

Understanding the divine plan,
~KID~

 

[perks]

Dear Carlton,

Of course ducks suck. I get the thank you correspondence all the time,

ZaZa

 

[Eumenides]

Dear Lusty Pirate,

I see your evil ways. Coated in peanut butter and malicious neglectful omission. Somehow, I seem to see my way through to forgiving such behavior.

Your Wench,
UME

 

[perks]

My Dearest Wench,

That you took my advice about the peanut butter is altogether funny and cool at the same time. I had a feeling it miight work, because of the whole gum thing, but as of yet I didn't have any proof. Thank you, my leetle experiment.

I heart you,

lusty Pirate.

 

[Vilac]

Dear Ex-Employee-Who-Didn't-Give-Any-Notice-When-ya-left,

You think you're so clever, don't you? Waiting until just a few minutes before your shift to send in your Niece to tell me that you won't be coming back. You didn't even have the nerve to phone in a resignation yourself. Well...let me tell you this: I think you are a cowardly, spineless, useless piece of flesh that I most likely will be further ahead without.

I only hope I get the same pleasant opportunity with you that I had the *last person who pulled this stunt on me: The honor of receiving a "job reference" phone call from your future employer.
Let's just say that you won't be getting my very *best review.

May you be fired from your next seven jobs,
The Boss

 

[celiaKitten]

Dear Fate,

You are an evil, malicious, teasing bastard.

*flipping you off*

~cK

 

[kidthor]

Dear God,

Did I thank you yet? Well, just in case, thank you!

Happily, ~KID~

 

[Vilac]

Dear Fate,

Just wanted to let you know that cK's expressed feelings are not necessarily those of everyone on this page of "Letters".

So...when you decide to have her life drastically alter and suddenly she is neck deep in a Gary Coleman and Carrottop love tryst, just remember...the rest of us had nothing but nice things to say about you.

Keeping the faith,
Not-cK

 

[tyme]

DEAR GOD,

I am sorry for screaming your name over and over last night. No I did not need your help.

Tyme

 

[perks]

Dear Tyme,

You know It's really difficult to have a great time in my off time with all of you sex monkeys calling my name. Next time please remember that I might be getting mine too!

God


PS. bet you wonder whose name I call.

 

[tyme]

Dear God,

Why my name is the one you are yelling of course. I will try to keep it down next time.

Tyme

 

[perks]

Dear Tyme,

I'm so glad I gave all of you a sense of humor. It makes my day.

love,
God

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear Bannana Republic,

I suddenly am thinking of your product line a lot.
No idea why.

Yours in mild confusion,

- O

 

[Guest]

Dear Oscuridad,

You are pretty crap at killing threads.

Leave it to the professionals.

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear CV,

Oh hell, you're wrecking my count.
I'll get them all yet, just you wait.

Yours in a white wine sauce with shalotts and garlic,

- O

 

[perks]

Dear Sweet Grrl,

Today, you... Thank you.

lusty pirate

 

[amelia]

Dear Both of You:
Subj: Today

you both suck.

Amelia

 

[Marxist]

Dear Carlton,

Of course ducks suck. I get the thank you correspondence all the time,

ZaZa

Dear Zzazza,

You left this at my house last night.

http://www.coyotescorner.com/old/images/cool.jpg

Could you explain to me again why your diaphragm is made from hemp?

Signed,
Carlton

P.S.--Did you ever get that gherkin out of your ass? If not, please come over again tonight and I'll give the plumber's helper another shot. I won't charge this time. Promise.

 

[perks]

Dear Carlton,

I know your harem is overlarge to match the mythology of your chocopenis, and you must have difficulties remembering each and every one of us. However, just because I sing "You make me feel like a Natural Woman" does not mean I use hemp birth control. It is a logical correlation, but since I don't need a larger ass, let's keep the assumptions out of it.

lurve,
ZaZa

PS. I'm not sure I ever get the gherkin out of my ass, only replaced momentarily.

 

[Problem Child]

Dear Raidergirl,

The Raiders kick ass. Everybody knows it.

Your silver and black french cut Raiders panties are in the mail. Please wear them, watch the porno of your choice and send them back.

Thanks,

Al Davis

 

[amelia]

Dear Al:

I received them yesterday. I've watched last sunday's game, since i cum whenever i see jon ritchie, and mailed them back to you. i hope they bring luck to you this sunday.


Doing my part for the team,
Raider Grrrrl

 

[amelia]

ps: i forgot to attach the picture. he's just so yummy.

 

[Linedrive]

Dear Mel,

Do you guys still have that Polish placekicker that gets in trouble all of the time...?

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

ps: i forgot to attach the picture. he's just so yummy.

Dear Amelia,

Its not him. He always has blood on his face during a game.


Al.

P.S. Those panties were not officially licensed Raider merchandise. I do not allow the "Raider Image" stores to sell panties, underwear, g-strings, etc.

 

[amelia]

Dear Amelia,

Its not him. He always has blood on his face during a game.


Al.

P.S. Those panties were not officially licensed Raider merchandise. I do not allow the "Raider Image" stores to sell panties, underwear, g-strings, etc.

Dear AL:

it is to him. That's in the first quarter before the blood started to flow. I'll send a picture of him with a bloody forehead if you must see it.

:hugs:
Melia

PS. i knew the panties weren't licensed, but that's ok. they were silver and black. that's all i cared about.

PPS: Yes, Gunner we still have the trouble making kicker.