Letters To Penthouse

[Dillinger]

Dear Penthouse:

I never thought your letters were real until something happened to me that was just like in your letters that I never thought were actually real!

I had just started my first year of college and really had the hots for my english teacher. She always dressed so sexy. Just like in that "Hot for Teacher" video. I mean she had legs up to her waist. And long hair that also went to her waist. And she had to be at least a 38DDD if she was a day. But, of course, I knew I had no chance with her. Especially since everyone knew she was a lesbian who only liked women.

Anyway, I hadn't been doing well in class because I could never concentrate. I was always fantasizing about what was under those tight tight dresses she wore. I even imagined I was a woman so that I could have a chance with her. But not just any regular kind of woman. I imagined I was a lesbian too!

One day as we were all leaving she asked me to stay behind. I knew this was it, she was going to tell me that my grades weren't up to the par of snuff. She closed the door behind the last student and turned to face me, her back to the door, I heard the lock click...

I closed my eyes and in my mind all I could think was "I wish I was a lesbian. I wish I was a lesbian. I wish I was a lesbian."

When I opened my eyes she was just finishing stepping out of her dress. She was so HOT! I couldn't believe it. What was happening? This was like all my dreams becoming true and not being dreams anymore!

She smiled at me and said "I've always been a lesbian. My whole life I've never been interested in men at all. Until you walked into my class. You've changed my world. All I can think about is you. Now drop those pants, I want to find out what its like to suck a cock and have a man cum all over me!"

So now I know that those letters you publish, just like this one, are real!

 

[Private Vasquez]

hey! that happened to me once...

 

[Sillyman]

Ever read the letters section in one of those teen girls magazines? Now there is some serious bullshit there...

"I'm only 18, and I have a cute butt and perky breasts and I really like older guys. I have a crush on my next door neighbor, even though he is 57 years old, fat, balding, wears nothing but sweatpants, and lives with his mother. I love to suck on his hairy, sweaty, unwashed ballsack. I'm so happy! "

God don't let me puke...

 

[clit_licker30]

I built powerful forearms to those letters, you mean they were written by unemployed Psyche Majors?

 

[Sillyman]

I built powerful forearms to those letters, you mean they were written by unemployed Psyche Majors?

Unemployed writers of all sorts. While a certain percentage of letters are in fact real, most adult publications pay writers to help paid the supply slightly.

 

[Dillinger]

What kind of issue of Penthouse is this with but one letter?

Anyone else got any "real life" adventures they had always wanted to share with Penthouse?

Or shall I make up another real life letter of my own. *grin*

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I think it would be an interesting project for someone to develop one of those computer programs, like that "burn" one, which would let you "Penthouse Letter-ize" an account of a sexual experience you've had.

Know what I mean? You write in something like:

"Last night me and my girlfriend were sitting around watching the hockey game, and she got kind of bored, so she started giving me a blowjob. Pretty soon, I got turned on and we ended up fucking on the sofa."

You click a button, and then you get back some kind of Penthouse Letter-ized treatment of that subject.

Come to think of it, maybe that's what Penthouse already uses....

 

[freescorfr]

Dear Penthouse,


I want to share with you an extraordinary experience I had only last week. We were staying – my wife, kids and I – in a hotel by the beach in Deauville. It was one of the children’s birthdays and I decided, as a surprise to let off some fireworks which they could watch from their hotel room.

I took my eldest to the beach and started to set them off. When it came to a large rocket, I thought, by way of added excitement, that I would try an aim it towards the window of the room in which we were staying. Silly, I know, but I’m like that.
Unfortunately, it rose beautifully and then turned and crashed against a window of the casino.

Alarm bells rang and people came pouring out. I remember seeing even the chef in his tall hat, standing perplexed. My son, handed me the fireworks and legged it. The gendarmes were on the scene in no time, heading towards me. I had no option to bury myself in the crowd: but they were on to me. So I threw my arms round a very startled blond croupier and kissed her passionately. She melted in my arms and whispered, “ 3.00am here.”

God was I lusting!! I sneaked out of the family room and waited for her as the first distant rays of dawn appeared on the horizon. Before I knew it, I was pulled through the casino doorway and there she was in my arms. Without a word she released my throbbing cock from its dinner jacket which I knew was mandatory for Deauville gaming tables and went down on me while I stroked her flowing hair. Faster and faster she moved on me till I felt like bursting. I pulled her off and carried her to the central roulette table, where I stripped her and laid her naked.

“Faites vos jeux”, I cried as I entered her with a simple thrust and filled her hot juicy pussy. She responded to each piston stroke with a moan of pleasure until she came not once but thirty six times. Then I knew she was ready for the big 0. When it came I feared it would waken them up in the hotel, nearly half a mile away.
The double 00 did it for me and I let my hot, spurting fluid fill her womb.

The next day I went back to the casino, but she had gone. I looked at the roulette table and there was a stain, our cum stain, sitting right in the middle of no.17. I put on all the notes I had on me, 300 euros and what do you know..my number came up.


A. Gambler

 

[freescorfr]

I think it would be an interesting project for someone to develop one of those computer programs, like that "burn" one, which would let you "Penthouse Letter-ize" an account of a sexual experience you've had.

Know what I mean? You write in something like:

"Last night me and my girlfriend were sitting around watching the hockey game, and she got kind of bored, so she started giving me a blowjob. Pretty soon, I got turned on and we ended up fucking on the sofa."

You click a button, and then you get back some kind of Penthouse Letter-ized treatment of that subject.

Come to think of it, maybe that's what Penthouse already uses....

It would make Jane Austin more interesting.

 

[Purple Haze]

...I stood there with my rock solid build and throbbing member, eyeing those luscious 36CC melons, and wondering if she she was dressed that way because she needed me to fuck her, or maybe I should just clean the chalkboard like she had ordered me to............

 

[Purple Haze]

....as she slurped on my gigantic wonder-pole, I was thinking I should stop and fix flats for scantilly-clad babes more often......

 

[TygerEyez]

"Dear Penthouse,

This one time, at band camp..."

 

[freescorfr]

Dear Penthouse,

I would like to warn all your readers about the dangers of the Paris Metro. Last night I was on the busy line between Montparnasse and St Michel, where I had an important rendezvous with a Christian Counsellor. I was tempted, the work of satan himself, by a generous looking brunette in a blue mini-skirt who offered me a stick of wrigglies.

The train was quite packed and she suddenly dropped her chewing-gim packet and bent down to pick it up. I noticed that she was presenting me with the neatest set of buttocks I have ever set eyes on, on that particular line. Her bare arse smiled up at me, and, as is the norm in such moments of intensely rising lust, I whipped out my instantly erect cock and slipped it into her hot, hot love tunnel, closely moulding myself to her lest the other passengers noticed and took offence.

As the train shook and rattled so did I, eventually reaching a climax just before St Germain des Pres. This angel of darkness then clamped me in, like a cur on a bitch, and held me locked into her. Even as I detumesced, her vaginal grip held me captive. Not only did I miss my stop and my appointment, but by Gare de l’Est I was once again rock hard and I felt no option but to resume the congress. This time I was prepared, being a quick learner, - I always got staright c’s in biology – and I pulled out just before I finished, spilling my cum all over the maple-wood floor. You know, she got off at Clignancourt without saying a word. Damn cheek.

I think your readers should be warned.

A Commuter.

 

[Guest]

 

[freescorfr]

OMG!! I"m posting to this again as soon as I get in this evening!!

Only true real letters, Luscious.

 

[Guest]

 

[freescorfr]

I might shock you with my true letters, my love!

Yes, I'm very easily offended, Luscious, as you know. The truth, especially, offends me.

 

[Dillinger]

Those were great!

Even a guest appearance by Hazy!

 

[Guest]

Names have been changed to protect the innocent!

 

[Throbbin_Rod]

How about we start a chain Penthouse letter? Each poster adds a sentence or two and we'll see where it goes.

I'll start.

Dear Penthouse:

I'm a freshman at a large Midwestern university. I didn't believe the letters in your magazine were true until this happened to me....

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Yall know they pay people to write this shit? Even the 'real' letters get paid. Just a thought . . .

 

[freescorfr]

As regards the chain letter. I did't think these letter were true until........


One day last week, Wednesady it was, I was sitting on the 8.15 train to Paddington and there were two nuns sitting opposite me in their full habbits.

 

[Throbbin_Rod]

One day last week, Wednesady it was, I was sitting on the 8.15 train to Paddington and there were two nuns sitting opposite me in their full habbits.

Which I thought was odd since I was attending a large Midwestern university and there wasn't a convent anywhere in the area.

 

[Guest]

 

[Throbbin_Rod]

Which explained why their habits were slit up the sides and they were wearing stiletto heels.