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Laurel

Aliea said:
I often call the FBI to deal with online harassment.

Agent: Hello FBI, how may I help you?
Me: Hi FBI, I have a complaint.
Agent: About food?
Me: No, about this guy on the internet that threatened me in a PM.
Agent: You've lost me.
Me: Well keep up! I was threatened I tell you!
Agent: Threatened with Food?
Me: No! With make believe internet attacks!
Agent: Miss, we only investigate food.
Me: This is the FBI right?
Agent: Yes, Food and Beverage Investigations.
Me: Well if you can't help, refer me to some other agency
Agent: Ok transfering you to the CIA
Me: GREAT!
CIA agent: Hello Culinary Investigation Association
Me: what the fuck...
Click to expand...

When you sell the movie rights, I hope Dan Ackroid plays Ish and Damon Wayans plays LT.
 
'fbi, how can i help you.'
'yes, i'd like to make a federal case out of something.'
'go ahead.'
'okay, i post on a message board, you know, on the internet.'
'yes, we're familiar.'
'good, well, i post under an alias.'
'naturally.'
'right, you know, to protect my privacy.'
'of course.'
'anyway, i also post under an alternate name. someone else is posting under a similar alternate name.'
'um, go on.'
'well, he threatened someone.'
'so, do they wish to press charges?'
'um, well, i don't know. but i'd like to.'
'for what exactly?'
'um, what, well, i don't know that.'

and ish was launched into the chasm.
 
LillyO said:
Wouldn't it have been better to Pm or e-mail Laurel with this?
Click to expand...

And deprive Lit's premier drama queen of his daily moment in the spotlight?

Ominous music plays..
Laurel....I'm putting you on notice...
Take care of LT....
OR I WILL!


:rolleyes:
 
Peregrinator said:
When I was in Basic Training, two guys in my platoon were always bickering. One night, one of them refused to wake up and do his bullshit hour of "fireguard duty," which really just meant being awake for an hour, waking up the next guy, and going back to sleep. The other guy, to punish him for this, filled his boots with gooey "food" from a couple MREs. The first guy squealed to the drill sergeants, and the whole platoon got our asses smoked until several were throwing up and everyone was exhausted--the worst "smoke session" of my entire training experience.

People beat the shit out of both those guys for the rest of the cycle.
Click to expand...

Man, you just dredged up a long forgotten memory for me! One guy in my Basic Training platoon refused to do fireguard duty as well, so two guys had to pull it for him.

They got him back.

Mr. No-show slept with his mouth open on a lower bunk, the two guys (one black, one white) took turns with a polaroid camera seeing how close they could get their erect cocks near his mouth. The pics they took made it look like Mr. No-show had his eyes closed in ecstasy with one white cock and one black cock.

The pinned the pics to the company bulletin board and Mr. No-show got the boot from basic.
 
RobDownSouth said:
...Mr. No-show had his eyes closed in ecstasy with one white cock and one black cock.

The pinned the pics to the company bulletin board and Mr. No-show got the boot from basic.
Click to expand...
This was before the whole gay flamingo adoption fad caught on, obviously.
 
Ishmael said:
It's been an interesting two day LK. The FBI refered me to another agency who dragged in a third.

What, if anything is going to happen, I don't have a clue and I'll probably be the last to know. I suppose that if nothing else, Lit. is going to get some scrutiny. They all agree that had LT used a telephone to pull that shit, he'd be in jail right now. Whether or not he used his own name. The issue is how that might apply to the internet.

I also know that the squeaky wheel gets the grease and I now have a name and a number. And will be a little more diligent in documentation in the future.

Perhaps if it causes Laurel a little trouble she'll be somewhat quicker to clean the trash off the board.

Ishmael
Click to expand...

*laughing my ass off*

So your entire intent was to try to blackmail Laurel and Manu into what? Kicking LT off the boards?

This is me being not surprised that it's all about your ego and supposed power to affect an internet message board. I called it the first night, this isn't about anything other then your ego. If you were truly concerned with anything or anyone other than yourself and trying to exact some kind of petty vengeance on LT by threatening Laurel and Manu you would have just notified the authorities straight away. Not posted a thread threatening to do so.


You're a fucking joke Ishmael. Worse still, an impotent fucking joke.
 
RobDownSouth said:
Man, you just dredged up a long forgotten memory for me! One guy in my Basic Training platoon refused to do fireguard duty as well, so two guys had to pull it for him.

They got him back.

Mr. No-show slept with his mouth open on a lower bunk, the two guys (one black, one white) took turns with a polaroid camera seeing how close they could get their erect cocks near his mouth. The pics they took made it look like Mr. No-show had his eyes closed in ecstasy with one white cock and one black cock.

The pinned the pics to the company bulletin board and Mr. No-show got the boot from basic.
Click to expand...


The most amazing part of this story is that the guys pulling this prank weren't also given the boot (or at least continually mocked & harassed) for their participation in the gayness photo shoot.
I mean- think about it. Whose cocks were they?
 
Laurel should monitor the board 24/7 and make constant judgement calls about banning and spend her ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE making sure Ishmael is never irritated by anything.

Oh -- and LT's a douche. That's for the FBI lurker guy.
 
This thread sucks. It started with Ishmael going "blah blah blah" I almost got Lily to start handing out spankings. And you guys brought it right back on topic. Nice going. Idiots. All of you.
 
LateralMovement said:
This thread sucks. It started with Ishmael going "blah blah blah" I almost got Lily to start handing out spankings. And you guys brought it right back on topic. Nice going. Idiots. All of you.
Click to expand...
I'm mostly here for nudity, and hot talk about gay flamingos.

Oh -- and LT's a douche. That's for the not an FBI but some third agency lurker guy.
 
Ishmael said:
Yup, in PM's with my faux alt and with AJ's faux alt.

I don't give a shit who you threaten under your own alt, but when you pretend to be someone else that becomes a matter of law. And the clock is ticking.

Ishmael
Click to expand...
if you guys were both the badasses you claim to be, you wouldn't need to hide behind alts. just be who you are and say what you want to say.
 
Dixon Carter Lee said:
Laurel should monitor the board 24/7 and make constant judgement calls about banning and spend her ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE making sure Ishmael is never irritated by anything.

Oh -- and LT's a douche. That's for the FBI lurker guy.
Click to expand...

And LT's a racist. That should get the Justice Department hopping.

Oh, and Mr. FBI lurker guy? Uh, I'm not really a terrorist. Really, I'm not. And that whole liberal thing? Pffft. It was just an act. Seriously.

Just so's yanno. That is all.

Oh, and I'm proud to be an American. *salutes* :)
 
*snicker*

It's good to see that my resurrection of this thread was a success. Thanks for providing hours of entertainment Ishmael. Admittedly though, I did get distracted watching "Accepted".

Sorry, but Jack Black is much funnier than you could ever hope to be. *correction* Lewis Black.. :p

I know, I know. He intends to be funny. You're really just the butt of your own unintended hilarity. :cool:
 
Last edited:
Ulaven_Demorte said:
*snicker*

It's good to see that my resurrection of this thread was a success. Thanks for providing hours of entertainment Ishmael. Admittedly though, I did get distracted watching "Accepted".

Sorry, but Jack Black is much funnier than you could ever hope to be.

I know, I know. He intends to be funny. You're really just the butt of your own unintended hilarity. :cool:
Click to expand...
jb's not in accepted
 
coinín said:
The most amazing part of this story is that the guys pulling this prank weren't also given the boot (or at least continually mocked & harassed) for their participation in the gayness photo shoot.
I mean- think about it. Whose cocks were they?
Click to expand...
They were probably anonymous cocks. This is a pretty famous prank; a lot of guys have woken up to find pics like that of themselves on the wall or whatever. I think that Rob may have left out other details about the guy. He was probably a shitbag that the drills had it in for already and they just used this as an excuse. Guys in basic in my platoon would jack off and try to throw spoodge at each others' faces. There's a lot of that kind of homoerotic "humor."
 
LovingTongue said:
So where'd Assmeal go? :cool:
Click to expand...
He is hiding. He is frightened like a little girl. He didn't really get the authorities involved. Consciously he wanted to but I wouldn't let him.

Ishsubconscious
 
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