Laughter is Contagious

[techsan]

Well i guess it depends on who you ask

I thought I asked you, roze ... didn't I????

 

[techsan]

Here's a pussy slave if I ever saw one

http://scd.mm-a1.yimg.com/image/128195272

That looks like a kitty slave to a pussy...Got milk? LMAO

 

[Jail]

That looks like a kitty slave to a pussy...Got milk? LMAO

Let's see what roze says LOL

 

[copperbutterfly]

I love that other picture, Jail!!!!

And here is one who is a slave no longer!

 

[techsan]

WE ALL NEED A LITTLE HUMOR.........

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
*************************

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
**************************

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
**************************

Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
**************************

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
**************************

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************

At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
" Best place in town to take a leak."

 

[Jail]

I love that other picture, Jail!!!!

And here is one who is a slave no longer!

lmao that's a good one too, copper. I can think of a few captions for that kitty

 

[techsan]

I love that other picture, Jail!!!!

And here is one who is a slave no longer!

That's a good one, Copper! Now who made a gun that small???

 

[kayte]

WE ALL NEED A LITTLE HUMOR.........

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
*************************

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
**************************

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
**************************

Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
**************************

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
**************************

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************

At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
" Best place in town to take a leak."

Those are so funny {{{{{{{{{techsan}}}}}}}}}} Thank you sweetie!

 

[Jail]

That's a good one, Copper! Now who made a gun that small???

that sniper isn't James Bond, more like Pussy Galore.

 

[copperbutterfly]

Techsan....don't have the baseball cap, but the carpet store I use was choosing a new slogan!

This one didn't make it...."I got laid at Big Bob's"

 

[techsan]

Those are so funny {{{{{{{{{techsan}}}}}}}}}} Thank you sweetie!

{{{{{kayte}}}}}

Which one will you put on your bumper?

 

[techsan]

that sniper isn't James Bond, more like Pussy Galore.

Hmmm....Pussy Galore, pissed off kitty!!!

 

[techsan]

Techsan....don't have the baseball cap, but the carpet store I use was choosing a new slogan!

This one didn't make it...."I got laid at Big Bob's"

As a hand-out to their lady customers on a baseball cap and leaving off the rest of the name, I LOVE IT!

 

[kayte]

{{{{{kayte}}}}}

Which one will you put on your bumper?

Good evening {{{{{{{techsan}}}}}}}}

Actually there are two:

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

 

[techsan]

Good evening {{{{{{{techsan}}}}}}}}

Actually there are two:

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

I saw one that said:

Could you drive any better if …
I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

I feel like that a lot.

 

[kayte]

I saw one that said:

Could you drive any better if …
I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

I feel like that a lot.

Exactly!!

 

[rozezwild]

Let's see what roze says LOL

Fucking SPEW

 

[rozezwild]

I thought I asked you, roze ... didn't I????

Well then what was the question -- you know i have sometimers

 

[rozezwild]

I saw one that said:

Could you drive any better if …
I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

I feel like that a lot.

Oh hell i need that one

and one that says

Dont piss me off -- i am having PMS
and have a gun

 

[techsan]

The Amish Hand Warmer

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm
them up."

The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands
are freezing cold."

The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will
warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."

The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm
it up." He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said,
"My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and
she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"

The daughter replied, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't
they?"

 

[pleaz_me]

The Amish Hand Warmer

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.
.................
The daughter replied, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't
they?"

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!​

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

The Amish Hand Warmer

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm
them up."

The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands
are freezing cold."

The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will
warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."

The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm
it up." He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said,
"My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and
she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"

The daughter replied, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't
they?"

LMAO!HAHHAHAHHAHAH,,,,

 

[copperbutterfly]

The Amish Hand Warmer

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm
them up."

The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands
are freezing cold."

The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will
warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."

The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm
it up." He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said,
"My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and
she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"

The daughter replied, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't
they?"

OMG That is great!

 

[copperbutterfly]

What about these?

NEOLOGISMS

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's {2005} winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life angry.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17 Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

 

[techsan]

What about these?

NEOLOGISMS

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's {2005} winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

...

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

ROTFLMAO!
ROTFLMAO!