Jokes

[Guest]

Ouch! LOL

Brian and Cindy Blossom were about to have their first wedding anniversary and Cindy wanted to do something special. She decided to get a tattoo, because Brian thought they were very sexy. She goes to the tattoo parlor and can't decide on a design, so she decides to get Brian's initials BB tattooed on her ass. She gets a B on each cheek. She goes home and waits for Brian to come home. When she hears his car pull into the driveway, she drops her pants, bends over, and grabs her ankles making her new tattoo the first thing he sees when he walks in. The door opens, her husband walks in and with an angered look on his face he yells "WHO THE HELL IS BOB?"

 

[Joey3308]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

 

[Guest]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

ROFL !!!!

 

[Icey*Fire]

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk says no, and the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves.
The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"
The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?"
The clerk replied, "No,"
and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

 

[Icey*Fire]

A couple of drinkin' buddies, who are airplane mechanics, are in the hangar at Logan; it's fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"
The other one says, "Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and that it will kinda give you a buzz."
So they drink it, get smashed and have a great time; like only drinkin' buddies can do.
The following morning, one of them gets up and is surprised he feels good, in fact, he feels great - NO hangover! The phone rings, it's his buddy.
The buddy says, "Hey, how do you feel?"
He said, "I feel great!"
and the buddy says, "I feel great too! You don't have a hangover?"
and he says, "No -that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - we ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing....."
"What's that?"
"Did you fart yet?"
"No"
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!"

 

[Icey*Fire]

A young teenage girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.
The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighbourhood, but little old Grandma.
The young girl was frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line.
A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"

 

[Guest]

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife,
Susie, something nice for their first wedding
anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.

He showed her the phone and explained to her all of
its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift
and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and,
to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other
end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new
phone?"

Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your
voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I
don't understand though..."!

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Walmart?"

 

[alwaysawake]

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife,
Susie, something nice for their first wedding
anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.

He showed her the phone and explained to her all of
its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift
and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and,
to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other
end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new
phone?"

Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your
voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I
don't understand though..."!

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Walmart?"

Hmmmmmm...reminds me of several women on Lit...blonde roots and all! LOL

 

[Joey3308]

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater
built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600."
The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading
the Bible and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible.
It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to
contribute$100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She
wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room,
but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." "Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my
hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense
to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank
you."

 

[Joey3308]

WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN (just a joke-don't egg my house)


1. You can enjoy a beer all night long.

2. Beer stains wash out.

3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.

4. A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.

5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

6. Beer is never late.

7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

8. Hangovers go away.

9. Beer labels come off without a fight.

10. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.

11. Beer never has a headache.

12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

15. A beer goes down easy.

16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

17. You can share a beer with your friends.

18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

19. Beer is always wet.

20. Beer doesn't demand equality.

21. You can have a beer in public.

22. A beer doesn't care when you come.

23. A frigid beer is a good beer.

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

26. You can't catch social diseases from a beer.

27. When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.

28. A beer is always satisfying.

29. A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

30. A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.

31. A beer does not come with in-laws.

32. No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

33. To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.

34. All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

35. Beer doesn't complain about farting.

36. The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

37. You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

38. Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.

39. Beer won't drive you to drink.

40. You can shoot a beer.

41. A beer chaser is easier to catch.

42. You don't need a license to live with a beer.

43. A tree is good enough for a beer.

44. Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

45. Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

46. Beer and "ice" don't mix.

47. Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.

48. Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

49. Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

50. You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

51. Beer never complains about a wet spot.

52. You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

53. A beer doesn't bleed one week out of the month.

 

[Succulent-one]

The Dam

Dam Permit :


This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the

Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. Wait till you

read this guy's response - but read the State's letter before you get to the

response letter.



SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County



Dear Mr. DeVries:



It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental

Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced

parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or

contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction

and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of

Spring Pond.



A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review

of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore,

the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of

Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and

Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being

sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.



The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams

partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at

downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous

and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and

desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a

free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the

stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than

January 31, 2003.



Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so

that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to

comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site

may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We

anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.



Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.



Sincerely,

David L. Price

District Representative Land and Water Management Division



-----------------------------------------



This is the actual response sent back:



Dear Mr. Price,

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.



Your certified letter dated 10/17/02 has been handed to me to respond

to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,

Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process

of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet

stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise

their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call

their skillful use of nature's building materials "debris." I would like to

challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any

time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no

way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,

their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or

their dam work ethic.



As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they

must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam

activity.



My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate

against my Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout

this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating

against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I

request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits

that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation

of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and

Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being

sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.



I have several concerns. My first concern is -- aren't the beavers

entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially

destitute and are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will have

to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that

either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing

flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is

required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers

alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want

the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the

beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any

attention to your dam letter they being unable to read English. In my

humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their

unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and

water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and

enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental

Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources

(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).



So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be

referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until

1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and

there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.



In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real

environmental quality health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears

are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should

be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you

are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are

not careful where they dump!)



Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to

contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your

dam office.



Ryan DeVries

 

[biggbear8]

3 GOOD MANNERS

3 good manners of male penis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance.




: MISTAKES

Learn from your parents' mistakes - Use birth control!




: PICTURE

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.




: MAN

Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will come the time when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the man!!!




: COCUNUT

What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT'




: SHOWTIME

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!

: LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG

What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.




: SEX MACHINE

When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.




: SEX ON TEXT

Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!




: CARS

Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'




: DEPRESSED

A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same?




: BAR STOOL

How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.




: VIAGRA

CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you




: WE CAN MULTIPLY

Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!




: SNOW WHITE

*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'




: GLOW IN THE DARK

I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark




: PENIS & BALLS

Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!




: STUPID PYJAMAS

Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!




: BRUSH MY TEETH

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth




: RING

I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....




: DUMB

What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!




: SAGGY BOOB

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!




: BLOW JOB

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!




: COVER ME

What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'



: TITS DAIRY

I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a dairy.

 

[biggbear8]

Suspense
how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!

Statistics
At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS

Farmer Joneshas
farmer Joneshas got no sheep,
isn't life a drag?
coz they're all burning in a field
he's got no sheep to shag

Gary Gliter
*Newsflash*
The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England Coach.
The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's

Ba Ba White Sheep
ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie

Leather Heather
there was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together

Little Miss Drugy
little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along came a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.

Jack and Jill
Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER

IRA
what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you run cause he's got a grenade in his mouth

Dear Mammy love annie
There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.

Cock Sucker Detecotor
This is a cock sucker detector
Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...
COCK SUCKER !!

Pink Vagina
Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?

Red Riding Hood
Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.
Eat me like the fucking book says!

Fuck for money
sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money
but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money

 

[biggbear8]

http://www.pics4fun.com/galleries/goodman/dodgerone12.jpg

 

[biggbear8]

http://www.pics4fun.com/galleries/goodman/othercartoon3.jpg

 

[biggbear8]

Priest and a Nun in the Desert

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the
third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After
dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation.
After a long period of silence, the priest spoke.

"Well sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, father."
"In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."
"I agree."
"Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do
something for me?"
"Anything father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see
yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."

The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely
breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister would you mind
if I touched them?"

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe.
"Oh father, may I touch it?"

This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life."
"Is that true father?"
"Yes it is, sister."
"Then why don't you stick it in that camel and let's get the hell out
of here."

 

[Succulent-one]

Oral sex

Hummmm

 

[biggbear8]

Digusting Cook


A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger.

The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"

The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "Bur-ger!", where upon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I think I've ever seen."

The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."

 

[biggbear8]

Re: Oral sex

Hummmm

thats a good one succulent-one

 

[Succulent-one]

UPS Man

Christmas Party

One Monday morning the UPS-MAN is delivering the
neighborhood on his usual route.

As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both
cars are in the driveway, his wonder is cut short by
Bob the homeowner coming out with a load of empty beer
and liquor bottles.

"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party
last night." The UPS MAN comments.

Bob in obvious pain replies," Actually we had it
Saturday night, this is the first I have felt like
moving since 4 am Sunday morning." We had a about
fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for
the Christmas Cheer and got a bit wild. Hell we even
got so drunk that around midnight we started playing
WHO AM I."

The UPS MAN thinks a moment and says, " How do you
play that?"

Bob continues between hung over gasps," Well all the
guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time
with a sheet covering us and only our "unit s" showing
through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to
guess who it is."

The UPS MAN laughs and says," Damn I am sorry I missed
that."

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds,
"your name was guessed four or five times."

 

[barn888]

Re: UPS Man

Christmas Party

One Monday morning the UPS-MAN is delivering the
neighborhood on his usual route.

As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both
cars are in the driveway, his wonder is cut short by
Bob the homeowner coming out with a load of empty beer
and liquor bottles.

"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party
last night." The UPS MAN comments.

Bob in obvious pain replies," Actually we had it
Saturday night, this is the first I have felt like
moving since 4 am Sunday morning." We had a about
fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for
the Christmas Cheer and got a bit wild. Hell we even
got so drunk that around midnight we started playing
WHO AM I."

The UPS MAN thinks a moment and says, " How do you
play that?"

Bob continues between hung over gasps," Well all the
guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time
with a sheet covering us and only our "unit s" showing
through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to
guess who it is."

The UPS MAN laughs and says," Damn I am sorry I missed
that."

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds,
"your name was guessed four or five times."

 

[biggbear8]

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets horrible
sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being
diagnosed with second degree burns. He was already starting to blister
and in agony.

The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and
electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. The nurse,
rather astounded, said "What good will Viagra do him?"

The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."

 

[Succulent-one]

Digusting Cook


A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger.

The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"

The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "Bur-ger!", where upon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I think I've ever seen."

The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."

LOL Founder of Krispy Kreams???

 

[Succulent-one]

Why Men Lie

-----
WHY MEN LIE

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a
river, his ax fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord
appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that
his ax has fallen into water, and he needed the ax to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden ax.
"Is this your ax?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver ax. "Is this your
ax?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron ax. "Is this your
ax?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three
axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the
Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is
this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You
would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I said 'no' to
her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you
would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able
to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer
Lopez."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story and we're sticking to it!

 

[biggbear8]

LOL Founder of Krispy Kreams???

so thats their recipe for the special kream filled rolls lol