Jokes
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TheOverlord
Walking into the sunset
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- Jun 10, 2003
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ouch. is that what you call a Rageing hardon?>
G
Guest
Guest
heheh.. i think you're right !!
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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- Jul 19, 2003
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Succulent-one
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2003
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- 4,656
WHY CHRISTMAS TREES ARE BETTER THEN MEN
1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
2. Even small ones give satisfaction.
3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even when it's lit.
5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out.
9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
10. You only have to feed/water it once a week.
11. It's always there to light up your life.
12. It gets turned on only when you want it turned on.
13. It always smells nice and doesn't pass gas.
14. If it needles you, you can toss it out.
15.It doesn't ask you to have little Christmas trees.
1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
2. Even small ones give satisfaction.
3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
4. A Christmas tree always looks good - even when it's lit.
5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
8. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it wears out.
9. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
10. You only have to feed/water it once a week.
11. It's always there to light up your life.
12. It gets turned on only when you want it turned on.
13. It always smells nice and doesn't pass gas.
14. If it needles you, you can toss it out.
15.It doesn't ask you to have little Christmas trees.
alwaysawake
Beaver Believer
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- Jan 23, 2002
- Posts
- 23,179
I like that one, S1! LOLSucculent-one said:
alwaysawake
Beaver Believer
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2002
- Posts
- 23,179
Here's a little "Quiz" for everyone...answers are at the bottom of the page--but no cheating! 
LOL
Sexual Tension Quiz
What's on your mind these days? Is it in the gutter as usual? Let's find out!
A. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
When I'm not well, I drip.
When you blow me, you feel good.
(What Am I?)
B. I'm spread before I'm eaten.
Your tongue gets me off.
People sometimes lick my nuts.
(What Am I?)
C. I assist an erection.
Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm called a big swinger.
(What Am I?)
D. Over 1,000 people went down on me.
I wasn't maiden for long.
A big hard thing ripped me open.
(What Am I?)
E. You stick your poles inside me.
You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do.
(What Am I?)
F. When I go in I cause pain.
I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow.
I can fill your hole.
(What Am I?)
G. A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
(What Am I?)
H. All day long, it's in and out.
I discharge loads from my shaft.
Both men and women go down on me.
(What Am I?)
I. I go in hard.
I come out soft.
You blow me hard.
(What Am I?)
J. If I miss, I hit your bush.
It's my job to stuff your box.
When I come, it's news.
(What Am I?)
K. I offer Protection.
I get the finger ten times.
You use your fingers to get me off.
(What Am I?)
L. I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates.
I come with a quiver.
(What Am I?)
M. My business is briefs.
I am a cunning linguist.
I plead and plead for it.
(What Am I?)
N. I make some guys shoot in the air.
I usually have a little pecker.
I'm better in your hand than in your bush.
(What Am I?)
Answers:
A. Nose
B. Peanut Butter
C. Crane
D. Titanic
E. Tent
F. Dentist
G. Wedding Ring
H. Elevator
I. Chewing Gum
J. Newspaper Boy
K. Glove
L. Arrow
M. An attorney
N. Bird
LOLSexual Tension Quiz
What's on your mind these days? Is it in the gutter as usual? Let's find out!
A. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
When I'm not well, I drip.
When you blow me, you feel good.
(What Am I?)
B. I'm spread before I'm eaten.
Your tongue gets me off.
People sometimes lick my nuts.
(What Am I?)
C. I assist an erection.
Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm called a big swinger.
(What Am I?)
D. Over 1,000 people went down on me.
I wasn't maiden for long.
A big hard thing ripped me open.
(What Am I?)
E. You stick your poles inside me.
You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do.
(What Am I?)
F. When I go in I cause pain.
I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow.
I can fill your hole.
(What Am I?)
G. A finger goes in me.
You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
(What Am I?)
H. All day long, it's in and out.
I discharge loads from my shaft.
Both men and women go down on me.
(What Am I?)
I. I go in hard.
I come out soft.
You blow me hard.
(What Am I?)
J. If I miss, I hit your bush.
It's my job to stuff your box.
When I come, it's news.
(What Am I?)
K. I offer Protection.
I get the finger ten times.
You use your fingers to get me off.
(What Am I?)
L. I have a stiff shaft.
My tip penetrates.
I come with a quiver.
(What Am I?)
M. My business is briefs.
I am a cunning linguist.
I plead and plead for it.
(What Am I?)
N. I make some guys shoot in the air.
I usually have a little pecker.
I'm better in your hand than in your bush.
(What Am I?)
Answers:
A. Nose
B. Peanut Butter
C. Crane
D. Titanic
E. Tent
F. Dentist
G. Wedding Ring
H. Elevator
I. Chewing Gum
J. Newspaper Boy
K. Glove
L. Arrow
M. An attorney
N. Bird
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
- Joined
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- Posts
- 24,198
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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- Jul 19, 2003
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Succulent-one
Literotica Guru
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- Jul 17, 2003
- Posts
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alwaysawake said:Here's a little "Quiz" for everyone...answers are at the bottom of the page--but no cheating!
Sexual Tension Quiz
What's on your mind these days? Is it in the gutter as usual? Let's find out!
~still laughing ~ My mind of couse is merrily floating down the gutter! I better find some oars.
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
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- Jul 19, 2003
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G
Guest
Guest
My Erotic Tail
tale weaving
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- Nov 30, 2003
- Posts
- 1,842
bear hunting
_Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting.
_
He_travels up to Alaska, spots a small brown bear and shoots it.
_
Right_after,_there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big
black_bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was
my_cousin_and I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death
or_we_have sex."
After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the_latter_alternative.
_So the black bear has his way with Frank. Even though he felt sore
for_two_weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.
_
_He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the
black_bear_and shot it dead. Immediately there was another tap on his
shoulder.
This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly
said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got
two_choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, Frank_thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be
mauled_to death.
_So the grizzly has his way with Frank. Although he survived, it
took_several months before Frank fully recovered.
_
_Now Frank is completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and
managed_to_track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge,
but_then,_moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around
to_find a_giant polar bear standing there.
_
_The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't
come_here_for the hunting, do you?"
_Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting.
_
He_travels up to Alaska, spots a small brown bear and shoots it.
_
Right_after,_there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big
black_bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was
my_cousin_and I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death
or_we_have sex."
After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the_latter_alternative.
_So the black bear has his way with Frank. Even though he felt sore
for_two_weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.
_
_He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the
black_bear_and shot it dead. Immediately there was another tap on his
shoulder.
This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly
said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got
two_choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, Frank_thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be
mauled_to death.
_So the grizzly has his way with Frank. Although he survived, it
took_several months before Frank fully recovered.
_
_Now Frank is completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and
managed_to_track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge,
but_then,_moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around
to_find a_giant polar bear standing there.
_
_The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't
come_here_for the hunting, do you?"
Le Jacquelope
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2003
- Posts
- 76,445
Re: bear hunting
The moral of this story is, when hunting bear, always come with a grenade armed on a dead man's switchMy Erotic Tail said:
Sioux City Male
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2003
- Posts
- 2,105
Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house,
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse.
Grandpa and Grandma were singin' a song,
And the kid was in bed flogging his dong.
Ma home from the cathouse,
And I, out of jail, had just settled
Down for a good piece of tail.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I jumped off of Ma to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I made a mad dash,
Threw open the window and fell out on my ass.
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and a dozen reindeer.
With a little old driver holding his prick,
I knew in a moment that bastard was Nick.
Slower than snails his chargers they came.
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name.
"Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls.
Quick now, damn it, or I'll cut off your balls!"
When up on the roof he stumbled and fell,
And came down the chimney like a bat out of Hell.
He staggered and stumbled and went to the door
He tripped on his dick and fell to the floor.
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Piss on you all, it's a Hell of a night."
When all through the house,
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse.
Grandpa and Grandma were singin' a song,
And the kid was in bed flogging his dong.
Ma home from the cathouse,
And I, out of jail, had just settled
Down for a good piece of tail.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I jumped off of Ma to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I made a mad dash,
Threw open the window and fell out on my ass.
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and a dozen reindeer.
With a little old driver holding his prick,
I knew in a moment that bastard was Nick.
Slower than snails his chargers they came.
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name.
"Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls.
Quick now, damn it, or I'll cut off your balls!"
When up on the roof he stumbled and fell,
And came down the chimney like a bat out of Hell.
He staggered and stumbled and went to the door
He tripped on his dick and fell to the floor.
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Piss on you all, it's a Hell of a night."
Le Jacquelope
Loves Spam
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2003
- Posts
- 76,445
A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.
He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.
He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."
He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.
He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."
Sioux City Male
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2003
- Posts
- 2,105
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I
put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said that I
should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details
will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I
completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of
brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I
decided to lower them in a barrel by using the pulley which
fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth
floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung
the barrel out, and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to
the ground, and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block
number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind, and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of
the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken
collarbone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
until the fingers of my right hand were two-knuckles deep into the
pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of
mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the
weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50
pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As
you might imagine, I began a rapid ascent up the side of the
building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the lacerations of my legs and lower body.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and, fortunately,
only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks,
in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six
stories above me - I again lost my presence of mind...
I let go of the rope.
information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I
put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said that I
should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details
will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I
completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of
brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I
decided to lower them in a barrel by using the pulley which
fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth
floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung
the barrel out, and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to
the ground, and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block
number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind, and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of
the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken
collarbone.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
until the fingers of my right hand were two-knuckles deep into the
pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of
mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the
weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50
pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As
you might imagine, I began a rapid ascent up the side of the
building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the lacerations of my legs and lower body.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and, fortunately,
only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks,
in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six
stories above me - I again lost my presence of mind...
I let go of the rope.
Joey3308
Let's Monkey Around
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2003
- Posts
- 24,198
carrie-on
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2001
- Posts
- 7,010
Dennis the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Dennis the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange
it. Without pause, Dennis the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Dennis the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King quickly summoned Dennis the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Dennis the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the
itching powder, which he quickly put it into his mouth and, for the next four hours, Dennis worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous
and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Dennis the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Dennis the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his
obsession now satisfied, Dennis the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this
matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King immediately summoned Dennis the Dragon Slayer...
MORAL OF THE STORY : Pay your medical bills
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Dennis the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange
it. Without pause, Dennis the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.
Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Dennis the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King quickly summoned Dennis the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Dennis the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the
itching powder, which he quickly put it into his mouth and, for the next four hours, Dennis worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous
and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Dennis the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Dennis the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his
obsession now satisfied, Dennis the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this
matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King immediately summoned Dennis the Dragon Slayer...
MORAL OF THE STORY : Pay your medical bills
carrie-on
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2001
- Posts
- 7,010
Why are we women so crabby, they ask?
We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years
old only to find anything that comes in contact with
those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings
us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training
bra contraption the boys in school will snap until
we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our "periods" in our early to mid-teens
(or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we
now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies,
have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even
know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having
sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having
a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he
did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his
horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry
crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend
the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course,
amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to
live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking
our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having
Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we
swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants
every time we sneeze.
When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed
Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle
of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet
moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and
puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just
one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-
deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square
in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed
10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that
when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings
morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing,
life-sucking little poop machines. The teen years. Need I
say more? The kids are almost grown now and we
women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's
to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his
18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that
early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the
Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT
and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the
aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July,
wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head
off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than
men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on
life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking
their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make
the Great Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"?
Yeah right. Bite me.
We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years
old only to find anything that comes in contact with
those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings
us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training
bra contraption the boys in school will snap until
we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our "periods" in our early to mid-teens
(or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we
now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies,
have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even
know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having
sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having
a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he
did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his
horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry
crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend
the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course,
amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to
live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking
our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having
Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we
swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants
every time we sneeze.
When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed
Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle
of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet
moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and
puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just
one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-
deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square
in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed
10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that
when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings
morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing,
life-sucking little poop machines. The teen years. Need I
say more? The kids are almost grown now and we
women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's
to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his
18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that
early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the
Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT
and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the
aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July,
wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head
off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than
men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on
life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking
their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make
the Great Ghandi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"?
Yeah right. Bite me.
carrie-on
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2001
- Posts
- 7,010
First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing.' "
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth.
Ruined the whole thing.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing.' "
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth.
Ruined the whole thing.
