Jacking-Off Log

[Batch]

for the love of god, don't abstain on my account. think about what would happen to the orgone.

and Batch did


Grin.

 

[katiebarthedoor]

I saw that, but can't get off on it. Firstly, because anyone telling women not to give up the pussy incenses me. Secondly, because doctors are like priests, or they were more back then. They can give you advice on anything.

I'm more entranced with those that can actually punish. Like back in the day, if you were misbehaving as a kid, your neighbors would whip your ass and then send you home to get your ass beat again by your folks (at least according to Sinbad).

Although this isn't very sexually satisfying when considering it was kids, it's quite appealing to imagine it applying to young women (let's say 18 years old) or even older women who are breaking their husband's rules.

"Hey, Tom, I saw Charlene wearing panties today..."

"Today? But it's the weekend!"

"Yeah, I know, so I sent her home to change after giving her a few hard slaps on her fanny."

"Oh, not as hard as she's going to get in a minute."



Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm jacking tonight.

i get where youre coming from, i just get off on the condescension of it. a time in history where an entire gender was so subjugated that it was acceptable to patronize them about their own bodies. and it wasnt accusatory to explain to her like a 4 year old that she cant be a slut - it was responsible health care. when a degree of shame was not only common, but expected. half of the population craved to be kept in pocket by the other half.

 

[Hester]

i might have to put on church clothes today to torture petey. 'tis sunday, after all.

 

[Batch]

i might have to put on church clothes today to torture petey. 'tis sunday, after all.

do you have a hat with the netting, too?

 

[Saint Peter]

I am thinking about baseball. And not the Rockies winning the Series! Boring, crappy baseball.

I have taped up my unit like the cleats on a linebacker. Thick, stinky white tape with an opening on the south end for beer disposal only. Nothing will stimulate my unit until the Hes and I can enjoy our O's in unison.

Together. As one.

 

[Saint Peter]

i might have to put on church clothes today to torture petey. 'tis sunday, after all.

Bring it!

I am immune to all things sexual and stimulating.

 

[Batch]

I am thinking about baseball. And not the Rockies winning the Series! Boring, crappy baseball.

I have taped up my unit like the cleats on a linebacker. Thick, stinky white tape with an opening on the south end for beer disposal only. Nothing will stimulate my unit until the Hes and I can enjoy our O's in unison.

Together. As one.

*full of admiration for the Saint*

 

[Hester]

I am thinking about baseball. And not the Rockies winning the Series! Boring, crappy baseball.

I have taped up my unit like the cleats on a linebacker. Thick, stinky white tape with an opening on the south end for beer disposal only. Nothing will stimulate my unit until the Hes and I can enjoy our O's in unison.

Together. As one.

fuck me with a bat.

please.

 

[Saint Peter]

do you have a hat with the netting, too?

Pulling out the Big Guns now, are we? You think SaintPeter has weak flesh?

Ha! I can resist to help out my friend Hes. I am not thinking of rubbing your netting on my cock. Not at all.

 

[Batch]

Pulling out the Big Guns now, are we? You think SaintPeter has weak flesh?

Ha! I can resist to help out my friend Hes. I am not thinking of rubbing your netting on my cock. Not at all.

Oh golly, not me.

I haven't any pretty hats.

*grins*

 

[Saint Peter]

fuck me with a bat.

please.

Was the doctor that told you not to touch your monkey male or female?

Katiebar and I were talking about that earlier.

 

[Batch]

monkey?

bah!!

Fount of Pleasure!!

 

[Saint Peter]

Oh golly, not me.

I haven't any pretty hats.

*grins*

A baseball hat will work.

 

[Batch]

A baseball hat will work.

oh for god's sakes!!

Try harder to withstand!

 

[Hester]

Was the doctor that told you not to touch your monkey male or female?

Katiebar and I were talking about that earlier.

female.

cunt.

 

[Saint Peter]

female.

cunt.

That is hotter than hell!

No, wait, it is not hot. Not one bit.


Did you look her in the eyes or stare at your feet? Give her a smirk? Roll your eyes??

 

[Batch]

That is hotter than hell!

No, wait, it is not hot. Not one bit.


Did you look her in the eyes or stare at your feet? Give her a smirk? Roll your eyes??

I accuse you of having your Willie out right now

and you are

Touching yourself!!!

 

[Hester]

That is hotter than hell!

No, wait, it is not hot. Not one bit.


Did you look her in the eyes or stare at your feet? Give her a smirk? Roll your eyes??

lots of direct eye contact.

we were both dead set on keeping this clinical and professional.

 

[Saint Peter]

I accuse you of having your Willie out right now

and you are

Touching yourself!!!

No! I'm tall, officer. I'm tall!

I have added another layer of tape and put a frowny face on the wad with a Sharpie.

 

[Saint Peter]

lots of direct eye contact.

we were both dead set on keeping this clinical and professional.

As am I.

*clipboard*

 

[Batch]

No! I'm tall, officer. I'm tall!

I have added another layer of tape and put a frowny face on the wad with a Sharpie.

You Lie!

 

[rosco rathbone]

me too.
imagine the kind of broad, sweeping power it must have to be in the employ of a profession that you could tell a woman to cease masturbating. and she complies.

i'll wait till you post yours, first - in case it blows mine out of the water.

Watching Disco Health Channel, I saw a thing about a plastic surgeon. It was all very innocuous unless you read between the lines. This one ditzy blond with a perfect body goes to the plastic surgeon because she wants a tit lift or something. Her hot JAPpy friend goes along to keep her company. The doctor finishes with the first girl's consultation and then goes into this amazing rapdown about how the JAP girl-who is about 25 with a stunning Jennifer Aniston type body-is all fucked up and saggy. It ends up with her stripped down to thong and him drawing all over her ass with a magic marker, talking about her imperfections. She's totally crushed. She ended up getting all this plastic surgery that she didn't need.

 

[sophieloves]

i think my wank-factor's broke


might just be where i'm ill *nods*

 

[katiebarthedoor]

Watching Disco Health Channel, I saw a thing about a plastic surgeon. It was all very innocuous unless you read between the lines. This one ditzy blond with a perfect body goes to the plastic surgeon because she wants a tit lift or something. Her hot JAPpy friend goes along to keep her company. The doctor finishes with the first girl's consultation and then goes into this amazing rapdown about how the JAP girl-who is about 25 with a stunning Jennifer Aniston type body-is all fucked up and saggy. It ends up with her stripped down to thong and him drawing all over her ass with a magic marker, talking about her imperfections. She's totally crushed. She ended up getting all this plastic surgery that she didn't need.

i could get with that.
seeing her smile melt. hoping not to feel the marker again, because every slash takes a piece of her confidence.

 

[Saint Peter]

i could get with that.
seeing her smile melt. hoping not to feel the marker again, because every slash takes a piece of her confidence.

Yes. The job dreams are made of.

Big ass purple Sharpie. Tip worn from showing so many clients what the mirror has shouted for years. Every line slightly too big or too far. Marker smell makes the receptionist's eyes water.

Not one shower or fourteen can erase my comments. Boyfriend not happy about smiley face drawn on almost perfect ass.