Jacking-Off Log

[rosco rathbone]

Will wonders never cease? Rosco leaves me a ball-breaking opening. You must have been tired last night, amigo.



Under wraps? I assume you don't mean lipstick here. (Trying to imagine an abaya for the lips and failing miserably--do you get a little hole in the middle so you can sip from a straw?)

And I have a general question for men who make fetishes out of their oral germs phobias and ocds: how can you possibly stand to have that slimy filthy organ suck you off? What about all those germs creeping and crawling from the filthy female saliva onto your pristine (well, aside from a few dried drops of pee, but who counts those) shaft? How do you all bear the horror?

It's not a germ thing, with me anyway. I just don't find the female organ to be a thing of beauty. It feels nice and it certainly has its purposes: babies and pee. I just don't want to go looking it in the eye, if you know what I mean. The men of yore had a proper sense of horror for that ever-bleeding wound, the stigma of Eve. I resent the subtle tacit suggestion thats floating about these days that any man who doesn't want to look at the ceravix with a speculum mirror or watch his wife give birth is an unenlightened cave man.

 

[katiebarthedoor]

It's not a germ thing, with me anyway. I just don't find the female organ to be a thing of beauty.

and all the georgia o'keefe paintings in the world do nothing to convince me.

 

[Saint Peter]

I wear two rubber gloves when I carry them around like a six pack.

 

[save_marla]

*raises hand*

Also jacked to this, with smashing results.

theres a squinty-faced girl that works at the circle K.
i got off to her.
telling her i need to use the head - but recoiling in disgust when she hands me the filthy key attatched to some grimy, inconvinient object - like a license plate, or something.
making her go back and unlock the mens room for me.
outside under the flickering fluorescent light. watching her hands fumble with the key. conveing my nausea - that she shouldnt mind helping decent clean people - when shes already soiled. her dirty blonde hair - a road map of couches shes slept on. unkempt.
forcing her into the batroom and cramming my hand down her pants. chastizing her for the sounds her rancid cunt makes when i finger it. watching her gulp and squint her eyes with every audible noise it makes. telling her shes a piece of trash and get her slime off me. not with her mouth. thats the most filthy orifice you have. use soap and water like a human fucking being.

 

[stirbird]

It's not a germ thing, with me anyway. I just don't find the female organ to be a thing of beauty. It feels nice and it certainly has its purposes: babies and pee. I just don't want to go looking it in the eye, if you know what I mean. The men of yore had a proper sense of horror for that ever-bleeding wound, the stigma of Eve. I resent the subtle tacit suggestion thats floating about these days that any man who doesn't want to look at the ceravix with a speculum mirror or watch his wife give birth is an unenlightened cave man.

I kind of know that. ;p

What I was referring to (and trying to tweak you about) was what Katie was actually calling the awful slimy organ and insisting she substitute soap and water for: her mouth.

"...and get her slime off me. not with her mouth. thats the most filthy orifice you have. "

Katie was right: mouths are the most germ-ridden orifices one has and human mouths are worse than most animal mouths in that regard and so you see... (sigh, somehow I don't think anyone but me saw that statement as referring to a mouth)

 

[bridgeburner]

Nah, I got mouth, too.

 

[Hester]

abstaining under doctor's orders since monday. i think this is the longest i've gone without an O since i was about 9, barring the week or so i spent in ICU many years back.

i've passed lusty and horny and will fuck anything that moves (or stands still long enough) to a point where i feel like i just need to open my legs and swallow the earth whole.

 

[sophieloves]

abstaining under doctor's orders since monday. i think this is the longest i've gone without an O since i was about 9, barring the week or so i spent in ICU many years back.

i've passed lusty and horny and will fuck anything that moves (or stands still long enough) to a point where i feel like i just need to open my legs and swallow the earth whole.

be verwy verwy careful what you wish for, Hester - your pumpkin might explode!

 

[rosco rathbone]

to a point where i feel like i just need to open my legs and swallow the earth whole.

I will sacrifice many goats to Kali to prevent this.

 

[Hester]

I will sacrifice many goats to Kali to prevent this.

funny you should say that, i kept thinking of the hindu myth of rahu, who swallows the sun and moon to cause eclipses.

stay away from my goats.

 

[stirbird]

Nah, I got mouth, too.

Logical sentence parsing is not dead on Lit. Praise the lord.

Hester, why would your doctor tell you to do such a thing???

 

[katiebarthedoor]

*raises hand*

Also jacked to this, with smashing results.

i have also.
wich is odd, considering how fickle my jacks are.

and i was, in fact, referring to the filthy poltroons' mouth. birdie is, as is common, right on the money. why i posted the parallel of putting my wang in a septic tank would be the psychological equivolent.
make no mistakes: when a man allows a girl to suck him off, remember who is doing who the favor.

 

[katiebarthedoor]

I will sacrifice many goats to Kali to prevent this.

aaahahahahahahaa

 

[Saint Peter]

funny you should say that, i kept thinking of the hindu myth of rahu, who swallows the sun and moon to cause eclipses.

stay away from my goats.

Think baseball.

 

[Saint Peter]

I am wildly turned on by the fact the doctor will not allow Hester to sex it up. Time to fabricate a Jack.

 

[katiebarthedoor]

I am wildly turned on by the fact the doctor will not allow Hester to sex it up. Time to fabricate a Jack.

me too.
imagine the kind of broad, sweeping power it must have to be in the employ of a profession that you could tell a woman to cease masturbating. and she complies.

i'll wait till you post yours, first - in case it blows mine out of the water.

 

[Saint Peter]

me too.
imagine the kind of broad, sweeping power it must have to be in the employ of a profession that you could tell a woman to cease masturbating. and she complies.

i'll wait till you post yours, first - in case it blows mine out of the water.

I am not sure if the Hes has posted the doctor's sex, but I have to agree with your take on it. They are professionals. They are used to telling people to stop smoking, stop drinking, stop playing ice hockey with punks half your age, stuff like that. But to lay it on the line in such a personal way takes balls the size of coconuts.

And the Hes. Did she smirk? Did she look at her feet? I want to be a fly on that wall.

 

[katiebarthedoor]

I am not sure if the Hes has posted the doctor's sex, but I have to agree with your take on it. They are professionals. They are used to telling people to stop smoking, stop drinking, stop playing ice hockey with punks half your age, stuff like that. But to lay it on the line in such a personal way takes balls the size of coconuts.

And the Hes. Did she smirk? Did she look at her feet? I want to be a fly on that wall.

i jacked off to a scene in Mad Men (on amc).
it is 1961.
this young, moderatley attractive, girl goes in for a physical to get birth controll pills from her gyno.
without getting too into it, he tells her - with no room for misinterperatation - that the pills are not a blank check to go out and be a whore, and that he knows her gender and age make her suseptible to promiscuity and immorality.

and, i swear to god, she promised to 'be good'.
to a relative stranger...she promised not to be a slut.

now i might need to wax.

 

[Saint Peter]

i jacked off to a scene in Mad Men (on amc).
it is 1961.
this young, moderatley attractive, girl goes in for a physical to get birth controll pills from her gyno.
without getting too into it, he tells her - with no room for misinterperatation - that the pills are not a blank check to go out and be a whore, and that he knows her gender and age make her suseptible to promiscuity and immorality.

and, i swear to god, she promised to 'be good'.
to a relative stranger...she promised not to be a slut.

now i might need to wax.

We should all hold off on waxing until Hester is allowed to Free Willy. To show our support and fortitude.

people
people helping people...

 

[Hester]

fuck you all.

right up the ass with a huge, unlubricated dildo.*


*unless you like such a thing, in which case, no fucking for you.

 

[MechaBlade]

and all the georgia o'keefe paintings in the world do nothing to convince me.

I love the sight of pussy simply because I love the idea of them so much. When I see bare pussy in front of me, I know one of the better moments in my life is about to happen.

abstaining under doctor's orders since monday. i think this is the longest i've gone without an O since i was about 9, barring the week or so i spent in ICU many years back.

i've passed lusty and horny and will fuck anything that moves (or stands still long enough) to a point where i feel like i just need to open my legs and swallow the earth whole.

I'm probably going to bust it tonight, thinking of you losing it near a parking meter.

make no mistakes: when a man allows a girl to suck him off, remember who is doing who the favor.

I wish I could see it that way. But I see oral as the ultimate service (excluding anal). What does one put in their mouth? Only things they take in as nourishment; delicious delicacies and such. To be sucked off is to liken your manhood (and thus all of your manliness) to a succulent dish, making you such an object of her lust, she wishes she could consume your body. Either that, or she wants to pleasure you by providing a warm, wet place for your cock and since her pussy lacks the necessary jaw muscles and tongue to sufficiently worship your cock, she must use her mouth to please you, irregardless of its taste.

See, although I love it, the pussy is the dirty organ. It can taste/smell metallic or bitter--never sweet. There's no such thing as pussy mints. Pee runs over it. It fucking bleeds blood. And if you fuck her in it, she can feel great pleasure. Who wants to run the risk of her getting her priorities out of order? Ladies, do you really want to selfishly use just your pussy to satisfy your man?

No, a submissive's tools are her asshole and mouth. Both are filthy, medically speaking. But my dick isn't just for clean places. Hell, I'd fuck a mud-filled hole in the ground if it was warm, soft and tight enough.

So what I'm saying is that women are like mud-filled holes.

 

[MechaBlade]

We should all hold off on waxing until Hester is allowed to Free Willy. To show our support and fortitude.

people
people helping people...

I have been mood jacking all week. I'd like to support hester, but this is asking the near impossible of me.

 

[MechaBlade]

i jacked off to a scene in Mad Men (on amc).
it is 1961.
this young, moderatley attractive, girl goes in for a physical to get birth controll pills from her gyno.
without getting too into it, he tells her - with no room for misinterperatation - that the pills are not a blank check to go out and be a whore, and that he knows her gender and age make her suseptible to promiscuity and immorality.

and, i swear to god, she promised to 'be good'.
to a relative stranger...she promised not to be a slut.

now i might need to wax.

I saw that, but can't get off on it. Firstly, because anyone telling women not to give up the pussy incenses me. Secondly, because doctors are like priests, or they were more back then. They can give you advice on anything.

I'm more entranced with those that can actually punish. Like back in the day, if you were misbehaving as a kid, your neighbors would whip your ass and then send you home to get your ass beat again by your folks (at least according to Sinbad).

Although this isn't very sexually satisfying when considering it was kids, it's quite appealing to imagine it applying to young women (let's say 18 years old) or even older women who are breaking their husband's rules.

"Hey, Tom, I saw Charlene wearing panties today..."

"Today? But it's the weekend!"

"Yeah, I know, so I sent her home to change after giving her a few hard slaps on her fanny."

"Oh, not as hard as she's going to get in a minute."



Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm jacking tonight.

 

[Batch]

I have been mood jacking all week. I'd like to support hester, but this is asking the near impossible of me.

this disappoints me, in your lack of Solidarity.

 

[Hester]

for the love of god, don't abstain on my account. think about what would happen to the orgone.