Is it me, or could it be anyone?

[Whispersecret]

In another thread, Axel said, ...the point is that some women have doubts whether their partner's erection is caused by his lust for them or is it purely a chemical reaction that could work as well even with
(name your most hated and despised of your 'close female friends"!!!-

That got my attention because I happen to be one of those women. (Probably not a surprise, if you know me.) What I want to know from the men is whether it's true or not.

Do you get a stiffy from seeing your significant other because she's your significant other, or because she's a naked woman who in all likelihood is going to have sex with you in a matter of moments?

 

[Never]

I don't really think that's a fair question. Getting a 'stiffy' or being turned on cannot be an exclusive occurrence. No matter how much a man loves and cares for one special gal the thought of him having sex with a beautiful woman is bound to get him going.
Women aren't only turned on by one man, and one man only, the thought that men should do this isn't really fair.

I think the important thing is that while 'anyone' could turn him on he picked you because he loves you.

 

[Skibum]

I don't know if it's my age showing or what, but I don't just spring to steely erectness at the sight of a woman like I used to. It now takes a little effort on her part to get me going.

When I was a teenager, any reasonably attractive female could produce results by sight alone.

 

[Whispersecret]

I didn't mean to imply that I thought men could only get excited by the thought of only one woman. I'm not that idealistic!

See, as a woman, I'm not that turned on by visuals. I'm turned on by my emotions/feelings and by my partner's touch. I don't GET turned on by looking at any men. But men do get turned on by looking at women.

I just wonder often, looking at my very imperfect body (stretch marks, saggy boobs and tummy) how on earth he could possibly get excited looking at me. I suppose I want to be told, "No, Whisper, he LOVES you and it doesn't matter what you look like." But I still wonder if he's just excited because he's gonna get some.

 

[Never]

Well.. have you ever asked your husband?
While your at it you might consider that he just might have the same insecurities, drifting hairlines, a growing 'beer belly' and the inability to spring a steely dan like he used to is as apparent to a fellow as those sagging breasts are to you.
Remember, the important question is, do I look better than the neighbors?

 

[Whispersecret]

Talk about an unfair question. Heh heh. "Gee, honey, do you find me sexually attractive?" That's like asking him, "Do I look fat in this?" Don't you think?

I suppose he could wonder the same thing. I should tell him that I have never been turned on by sight. Or maybe not. That might be like saying, "It doesn't matter that you have a beerbelly now, because I've never gotten turned on by looking at you. Er, wait a second..."

Skibum, I suppose I'm lucky in that I never have to do anything to Whisperhubby to get him hard unless he's already cum. Then he sometimes needs a little oral kickstart for a second round. However, I wouldn't mind at all if he needed a kickstart anytime. AFter everything he does for foreplay for me...

And is "steely dan" really a euphemism for a hard-on? Is that what that band named itself after???

 

[Jester]

You know, that's not exactly a completely speratable question, but here goes:

It's not just the sight of a woman (naked or not) that gets you going. It's what's going on in your head with that woman. For instance, I've had about four semesters of figure drawing classes. Just sitting there for three hours a day staring at and drawing a naked woman. It never did anything for me because I wasn't thinking in that kind of manner. I was thinking about proprotion and rendering, not licking and thrusting. If the model had been my sig. other, I would have been thinking both ways and it would have gotten me excited.

There are also times when just being the bf/gf doesn't do it. Sometimes I'm not thinking about sex, I just want to be close to her and keep that intimate emotional link going. Of course, being close like that can lead to arousal. And, while any woman being that PHYSIACALLY close CAN be a turn-on, being that special person IS exciting and is different because of how you feel about him/her.

I guess that my point is while arousal can sometimes be a chemical thing, that's not all that it is. The fact that it is someone special to you makes a HUGE difference. So, Whisper, know that it's not just that he's gonna some, it's that he's gonna get some from YOU.

And I have no idea about the steely dan thing. That's the first that I've heard of it.

 

[Ezzy]

"No, Whisper, he LOVES you and it doesn't matter what you look like."

There there hope that helps and I do believe it as well.

EZ http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[Gaucho]

And is "steely dan" really a euphemism for a hard-on? Is that what that band named itself after???

The name comes from a dildo referred to in William S. Burrough's "Naked Lunch".

And, Whisper sweetie, after all the therapeutic enjoyment that your titties have provided for the good doctor and myself, to refer to them as "sagging boobies" is not at all appropriate, I think.

Wait a minute. Maybe all that shaking is what caused them to sag. OMG! We've ruined Whisper's titties!

*runs screaming from the room*

 

[Patryn]

Before I met my ex-husband, I dated a man who had become impotent because of an injury when he was a teen. He assured me that lust and the physical reaction were mutually exclusive, or that you can be aroused w/o an erection, or not mentally aroused while you have an erection. Make of it what you will.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

The absolute truth.....

As usual, from the Sparkmeister.

I think I'm a normal male. With only a bit less frequency than earlier in life - I get "a stiffy," as you like to call it - just about whenever, where ever and how ever - my trousers rub me the right way- the bounce of a bumpy road while riding in a car -bed linen swirls across my member - just anything with the "right touch" brushes my penis.

Now, when that happens - if I'm alone in a private place - I can take matters into my own hands and take care of things.

Add a real, live naked woman, any woman - better.
Add my naked (or clothed) wife - even better.
Add two or more real, live naked women, any women - better still.

You get the picture. It's there. It's that easy.

 

[Whispersecret]

I should have known before I read the responses that the arousal factors vary from man to man. Isn't that the way it is for so many things? For obvious reasons, I'll swing toward believing Jester's. I suppose I should't complain. Whisperhubby doesn't need Viagra and it's me who's reaping the benefits. Self-image crisis is over!

Gaucho, they're not ruined!!! Just...gravity-challenged. Get a grip, man! If you continue to slander my titties, you'll have to be rationed. You bad boy, you!

 

[Gaucho]

Gaucho, they're not ruined!!! Just...gravity-challenged. Get a grip, man! If you continue to slander my titties, you'll have to be rationed. You bad boy, you!

Oh, thank goodness! I'd hate to be known as the man who ruined Whisper's titties. And I would never slander those wonderful mammaries that have given me so much pleasure...tease them a bit, maybe, but never slander.