If you vagina could talk, what would it say?

[CelestialBody]

 

[April]

'Dust me.'

 

[SweetCherry]

"Hey, remember me? A little attention if you please!"

 

[miz_understood]

Feed Me!

 

[cymbidia]

'Hey! I could use some excercise down here!'

 

[miles]

"Shit! What in the fuck happened to my goddamn penis?
I'm gonna fucking kill somebody."

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Ice Princess]

Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty ...

Wait, this was the Rocky Horror thread, right?

 

[nasty]

If I had a vigina, it would say, "Fuck me." I don't, but that's what it'd say.

 

[chanaud]

Why am I always in hiding?


Someone please dust off the cobwebs.

 

[celiaKitten]

"Hey - yeah - YOU! Get in here!"

 

[nasty]

Feed Me!

In best plant voice*FEED ME!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE that movie.

 

[KillerMuffin]

"I wouldn't call sequined g-strings quality panties no matter what you think, lady. And that plastic thing you wore the other night? Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeze! I know it drove his happy cock wild, but it just made me sweat. Gag yourself, my lips are lovely the way they are. And what in the hell is going on with this pantyhose crap? These things are bothering the hell out of me. I can't even get a good breath of fresh air with the damned things. In a word Stockings!!! And another thing! Next time you get that incurable urge to shave, don't do it dry! That hurts!. Now go find me some cock, dammit. I'm hungry. I don't give a fuck what your mouth thinks, that cock is mine, sister."

You can see why I had it's voice box removed. Constantly like this. Sheesh.

 

[miz_understood]

"I wouldn't call sequined g-strings quality panties no matter what you think, lady. And that plastic thing you wore the other night? Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeze! I know it drove his happy cock wild, but it just made me sweat. Gag yourself, my lips are lovely the way they are. And what in the hell is going on with this pantyhose crap? These things are bothering the hell out of me. I can't even get a good breath of fresh air with the damned things. In a word Stockings!!! And another thing! Next time you get that incurable urge to shave, don't do it dry! That hurts!. Now go find me some cock, dammit. I'm hungry. I don't give a fuck what your mouth thinks, that cock is mine, sister."

You can see why I had it's voice box removed. Constantly like this. Sheesh.

 

[Mischka]

If can you see me that clearly, you're too far away.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Your vagina nags you, too? It's worse than my mother. Well, maybe not, but still.

Down with nagging vaginas!

I wonder if they have a school or something. We could do the Stepford Vaginas thing.

 

[SexyChele]

"I wouldn't call sequined g-strings quality panties no matter what you think, lady. And that plastic thing you wore the other night? Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeze! I know it drove his happy cock wild, but it just made me sweat. Gag yourself, my lips are lovely the way they are. And what in the hell is going on with this pantyhose crap? These things are bothering the hell out of me. I can't even get a good breath of fresh air with the damned things. In a word Stockings!!! And another thing! Next time you get that incurable urge to shave, don't do it dry! That hurts!. Now go find me some cock, dammit. I'm hungry. I don't give a fuck what your mouth thinks, that cock is mine, sister."

You can see why I had it's voice box removed. Constantly like this. Sheesh.

Still laughing - thanks, KM, I really needed this today!

Okay, wiping eyes....back to reality....

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[KillerMuffin]

Really CB? That's cool. Mine likes to be called Poontang, Mistress of Cock. She is such a bitch. We fight over the Muff moniker all the time. She says it's too girlie and that she's a lean, mean, cock fucking machine. Once they've had her, then never want another. She's just pissed cause I suck as good as I fuck.

You are sooooo lucky to have a vagina without an attitude problem. I'm jealous.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

You can see why I had it's voice box removed. Constantly like this. Sheesh.

There was an R/X rated movie back in the 70's called "Chatterbox" where a woman had a talking pussy that always got her into trouble.

http://www.paonline.com/mikehoov/Hobbies/Movies/VHS/VHS_Reviews/Chatterbox.htm

http://www.coldfusionvideo.com/c/chatterbox.html

I remember the movie because I took my wife and her friend to it, and as my wife jumped out of the car to get the times for the movie, her friend asked me "want some cum gum?" (gum with a liquid center) - I was speechless for a second and then said "sure" (what the hell - I thought).

 

[Valdimer]

First off, if I had a vigina, I wouldnt leave the house. I'd be to busy playing with it.

And secondly, if it could talk??? Shit, I'd be havin some serious problems.

"Get your fingers outta there! I dont know where they've been!"

"What do you want to put in me now?"


lmao

 

[Never]

Why would my vagina talk to me?

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Lets see if a vagina talked to me
(If i had a girlfriend... her vagina would be partly mine would it not?)

 

[Barb Dwyer]

Mine won't shut up

It depends on the context. If I am in the kitchen (or in a restaurant) it would say:
"Come and git it!"

If I were at an orgy (yeah, right) it would say:
"Come on down.You're our next lucky contestant!"

If the oldies radio station were on it would be singing:

"Ride Captain Ride"
"Theme from Shaft"
"You aint seen nothing yet..bbbbbbbaby you just aint seen nothing yet!"
"Don't pull your love out on me baby"
"Treat her like a lady"
"Midnight at the Oasis"
"Love will keep us together"
"Tear the roof off the sucker"
"More more more, how do you like it how do you like it?"
"Feels like the first time"
"I love the nightlife"
"Baby hold on"
"Aint no stopping us now"

In a fishing boat:
"Well, this one time at band camp..."


"Gag me"

 

[Renegade]

If I had one:

"And they call me a pussy?"