If a woman wants to be an equal in a relationship...

[LJ_Reloaded]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201205/who-should-ask-and-pay-date

For individuals interested in traditional male-led relationships, it might make sense for the man to still be expected to make all of the moves, ask for the date, and pay. Men who do this are illustrating their status, ambition, and leadership potential. Women who expect and accept such requests are at the least "buying in" to the arrangement, if not actively choosing, appreciating, and being attracted to the display.

Sure, it is possible to "cheat" the system—with the woman seizing control at a later date, or the man discontinuing leadership. However, in general, accepting such a dating arrangement is leading down a particular socializing path that will influence later relationship dynamics. So, if you don't want "traditional", then it would be inadvisable to follow the traditional script from the start. If you do want that...then it could make sense for the guy to face rejection and reach for his wallet—as long as that is earning him respect, reciprocity, and deference in the process (for more see here, here, and here - with here and here as cautions).

In contrast, if a traditional relationship is a turn off, then it is unadvisable from an influence standpoint to follow the traditional dating script. Particularly, if a woman wants to lead or be equal in a relationship, it doesn't set a good precedent to be passive and dependent when that relationship is established. At the least, it sends the wrong signal—if not putting her at a power disadvantage.

Therefore, for women-led and egalitarian relationships, it makes persuasive sense for the woman to make the first date request and pay for the first date (for more on asking, see here, here, and here). This clearly establishes her disinterest in a passive relationship role. It also gives her the added benefit of actively selecting a lover of her choosing—rather than just passively accepting/rejecting men who make a request. There is, however, a greater chance of rejection (see here). But, that appears to be the social price for choice, influence, and leadership.

Powerful stuff. Women ought to heed.

 

[richard_daily]

Does your wife beat you?

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

Does your wife beat you?

Are you a spineless wimp?

Oh shit, forget I asked that...

 

[richard_daily]

Are you a spineless wimp?

Oh shit, forget I asked that...

I forget everything that you ask.

 

[ivantheterrible]

would make things a lot fucking easier if women did do the asking. takes all the guess work out of it for us men.

 

[rosco rathbone]

would make things a lot fucking easier if women did do the asking. takes all the guess work out of it for us men.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

Women can't handle rejection. It devastates their ego even moreso than it devastates men's egos.