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I wish....

I wish I could find it easier to start conversations with strangers. I've developed strategies over the years to combat my shyness and engage more effectively when I have some structure to work with, but I still struggle to "break the ice". It's not that I'm socially awkward or unduly scared of rejection, but rather that I usually find the effort of trying to be disproportionate to any reward, so I've been lacking positive reinforcement.

It's an immensely taxing experience for me personally to approach new people, requiring me to build myself up beforehand to show poise and confidence, only to suffer a nasty "drop" of exhaustion afterwards. Frequently, I find myself stuck with someone whom I discover that I have little in common, and I lack the nous to escape switfly and tactfully. I'm envious of people who can "work a room" and who exercise a form of social gravitational pull for others.

I'll be honest: I often go to events, feel out of my depth, and sabotage myself by not even trying. Then I beat myself up afterwards for being both unsuccessful and incompetent. :(

On the positive side, I've just found some resources that might help me improve my tactical armoury, such as this one:


Any other tips? :)
.
 
Mindfondler said:
I wish I could find it easier to start conversations with strangers. I've developed strategies over the years to combat my shyness and engage more effectively when I have some structure to work with, but I still struggle to "break the ice". It's not that I'm socially awkward or unduly scared of rejection, but rather that I usually find the effort of trying to be disproportionate to any reward, so I've been lacking positive reinforcement.

It's an immensely taxing experience for me personally to approach new people, requiring me to build myself up beforehand to show poise and confidence, only to suffer a nasty "drop" of exhaustion afterwards. Frequently, I find myself stuck with someone whom I discover that I have little in common, and I lack the nous to escape switfly and tactfully. I'm envious of people who can "work a room" and who exercise a form of social gravitational pull for others.

I'll be honest: I often go to events, feel out of my depth, and sabotage myself by not even trying. Then I beat myself up afterwards for being both unsuccessful and incompetent. :(

On the positive side, I've just found some resources that might help me improve my tactical armoury, such as this one:


Any other tips? :)
.
Click to expand...

Whatever you enjoy doing for hobbies, join groups for that hobby and go to events. Go to places your comfortable in, or have an outgoing friend who starts conversations and you join in. Try not to have high expectations and start with small talk. It's okay to be shy many are and everyone can't be the exciting outgoing type.
 
SoulAssasin247 said:
Whatever you enjoy doing for hobbies, join groups for that hobby and go to events. Go to places your comfortable in, or have an outgoing friend who starts conversations and you join in. Try not to have high expectations and start with small talk. It's okay to be shy many are and everyone can't be the exciting outgoing type.
Click to expand...
Thanks. The weird thing is that I'm quite chatty once I have a lead in. The problem for me is getting started. I'm astute enough with people to be able to pick up on receptive body language, but if I don't see that then I don't know what to do. Usually, I just leave.
.
 
I wish I had more energy...but it is a beautiful early morning here in Bangkok...makes me feel uplifted though...

Its going to be a wonderful day...:heart:
 
I wish that when in social situations, strangers did not feel the overwhelming desire to ask someone what they do for a living as an icebreaker. It is the most boring question I find I am asked most often. Most people are not defined by their job and only have it to pay the bills. I think it's one of the most overused socially acceptable conversation starters. People are so much more interesting than that.
 
If we're talking monetary wishes, then I wish for the next winning Powerball ticket that has over $100,000,000 as it's jackpot.
 
LadyElsbeth said:
I wish that when in social situations, strangers did not feel the overwhelming desire to ask someone what they do for a living as an icebreaker. It is the most boring question I find I am asked most often. Most people are not defined by their job and only have it to pay the bills. I think it's one of the most overused socially acceptable conversation starters. People are so much more interesting than that.
Click to expand...

I wish I didn't have the urge to ask LadyElisbeth what she does for a living.
 
I wish I didn't have to work today.. it is the perfect day to snuggle in front of the fire and enjoy fresh baked cookies
 
I wish every day could be like Christmas and every night like Christmas Eve
 
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