I Was The Other Woman

[Ann0714]

Yes, it's wrong to be the other woman.

Low selfesteem I suppose. Not wanting to completely commit to a relationship.

Cut to the chase, he just played this role of "poor ignored husband at home" and I fell for it.

Anyone else as gullable as I was? If not, then that's okay.

Everyone take care. Maybe in time I'll be happy again.

 

[LittleLadyLove]

Hi Ann,

Everything you said is true it happened to me 6 years ago.

He was a co-worker and used the same excuse. But his wife divorced him anyway for reasons unbeknownest to me.

During our "relationship" he wanted to keep it in the closet so no one would know. But at the same time me being "the other woman" he was seeing someone else.

He CALLED me to break it off, told me that he had found someone else and had the best 2 weeks with her. But in the phone call he said some hurtful things to me that sent me "underground" because I believed him.

Two months after breaking it off with me heard through friends that he did marry the other woman.

I have met someone new and am happier than I have ever been in a very long time. He makes me feel special but also he's the most kindest and sweetest man I have ever met.

 

[Ann0714]

Little Lady

I am happy for you and you have given me hope that there could be a wonderful man, NOT married, for me!

Thank you for sharing you history with me

It feels "okay" to know I am not the only one...

 

[Enji]

I am happy for you and you have given me hope that there could be a wonderful man, NOT married, for me!

Thank you for sharing you history with me

It feels "okay" to know I am not the only one...

awh..hugs..i hope you find someone worthy of your time and love. I'll offer to chat and see if i can help..but i think i shouldn't even be posting..in this thread. But i wanna offer encouragment, there are guys out there that are worthy of your time, so don't stop being a kind woman..

 

[LittleLadyLove]

I am happy for you and you have given me hope that there could be a wonderful man, NOT married, for me!

Thank you for sharing you history with me

It feels "okay" to know I am not the only one...

Glad I could help you by sharing my history with you. If you want/need a friend to talk to PM me.

LL

 

[Ann0714]

how can I get a PM

as you both can see, I am new here

I'm a duhhhh

 

[Guttergoddess]

I was the other woman...in my case things "worked out" I said from the beginning I wouldn't fall in love with a married man. How could I trust him not to cheat on me, if he'd cheated on his wife to be with me? I of course, fell in love. It took alot, but we eventually both broke things off with our spouses...and moved in together. 2 years later, I moved out. While I will tell you that he's the love of my life, I will tell you we can't live together! Having said that. I would NEVER consider a married man again. It was wayyy too much stress, too much sneaking, too much lying.

I wrote him a poem as a breakup one time....saying how I never believed he'd leave her.

 

[Ann0714]

Gutter Goddess

but you still see the man who is the love of your life?

 

[Guttergoddess]

Yes. We see each other every other weekend. I moved out of state (to NJ) to take a job opportunity that I couldn't pass up. We have an open and loving relationship. We both see other people, and bring people into our relationship. I am not the model for ANYONE to base their life on!

As to the PM's you should have the ability set up in your user profile, and then if you click on a user name, you will get the option to send them a pm, email or a third option (which escapes me at the moment)

 

[LittleLadyLove]

as you both can see, I am new here

I'm a duhhhh

here's how to get your PM's to work....

to go into user CP and go into Options and turn it on

any questions post back and will help

 

[awestley12000]

Ann it's not your fault

Hi Ann;

Yes this is from a guy and it can and does happen to us too.

I wasn't married to her, but almost engagned (going to happen the night I found out).

I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it or put you down, but when someone wants to cheat they will cheat.

If it's not with you they will find someone else.

I admit it guys are pigs. When we see someone we are interested in thoughts about how do we get them do cross our minds. Is it mostly for one purpose? Yes.

So some of us want a TRUE loving long term monogamous relationship? Yes.

 

[ZZChief]

......

 

[Ann0714]

well, I tried !

at least I can get messages on yahoo. I stay invisible due to that jerk may see me online....

this could be what I need to get me out of this funk, at least read stories and know there is more out there. thank you for trying to help me on this Little Lady

here's how to get your PM's to work....

to go into user CP and go into Options and turn it on

any questions post back and will help

 

[wildB]

I would like to chat with you but cant IM you..

 

[Dr_Lit]

I am happy for you and you have given me hope that there could be a wonderful man, NOT married, for me!

Thank you for sharing you history with me

It feels "okay" to know I am not the only one...

I am sure that you will find someone Ann, just hang in there, don't get taken, and "Mr Right" will show himself (probably when you least expect it)

 

[LittleLadyLove]

at least I can get messages on yahoo. I stay invisible due to that jerk may see me online....

this could be what I need to get me out of this funk, at least read stories and know there is more out there. thank you for trying to help me on this Little Lady

just added you to my list

 

[muskokan]

I'm not sure what it is but I also fall for those sob stories from guys about how bitchy their wives are... not so badly as to have gotten with one of them.. but I have no explanation as to why it seems to draw me in.

I'm a bitchy wife too though so maybe that perspective helps me stay in check

 

[Ann0714]

I got your invite

I accepted, but I can't seem to get my profile to allow me to give out IM's from here argh and double DUH!!

just added you to my list

 

[Ann0714]

Did You Try My Yahoo

I can't seem to edit the profile to make this thing in HERE work, hah, just like my world...bleccchh

I would like to chat with you but cant IM you..

 

[Ann0714]

Awestley

you are correct. I have male friends who HAD wonderful and HOT ladies and they used them, cheated, and these wonderful women had their hearts broken too

I guess it's the package men have. I mean HOW do you guys WALK and SIT DOWN without shifting them around and becoming more aware of what they stand for.

I do try to understand how men think, it's just sex, but with many women, we surrender a part of our being with each sexual encounter.

Hi Ann;

Yes this is from a guy and it can and does happen to us too.

I wasn't married to her, but almost engagned (going to happen the night I found out).

I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it or put you down, but when someone wants to cheat they will cheat.

If it's not with you they will find someone else.

I admit it guys are pigs. When we see someone we are interested in thoughts about how do we get them do cross our minds. Is it mostly for one purpose? Yes.

So some of us want a TRUE loving long term monogamous relationship? Yes.

 

[SimpleGifts]

you are correct. I have male friends who HAD wonderful and HOT ladies and they used them, cheated, and these wonderful women had their hearts broken too

I guess it's the package men have. I mean HOW do you guys WALK and SIT DOWN without shifting them around and becoming more aware of what they stand for.

I do try to understand how men think, it's just sex, but with many women, we surrender a part of our being with each sexual encounter.

Well, sorry to burst your stereotype, but men can have their hearts broken, too.

In my case, I met a woman...we were both married and pledged we would stay that way. We ended up falling in love very quickly--not infatuation, the Real Thing. You'll have to trust me on that.

Unfortunately, her marriage went south very quickly, so she decided to get a divorce. I wasn't in a position to do so, for various reasons. We kept it going for a full year...but once her soon-to-be-ex-husband finally moved out of the house, it was clear that there was no way she could live with the constraints of a relationship with a married man and be single. I told her that she should go out and date other guys...she met one and decided that she couldn't find a complete relationship while hanging on to our partial one. So she cut me loose and said she had to give him a chance.

I had lunch with her this week...the first time in four months. The guy she fell in love with after me ended up dumping her and trampling on her heart. She still loves me, very deeply. I love her, with all my heart. But I can't be with her...as much as I wish I could just go to her, I can't. I never promised I'd leave for her. I never asked her to put her life on hold for me. So, we both made the choices that were best for us...and those choices now are forcing us on different paths.

It hurts. A lot. It hurts her, too...I could see it in her eyes. But that would never justify trying to convince her to let me back into her life like that. So, we'll stay friends...maybe see each other for lunch every few months or so. And our hearts will slowly heal. At least, I hope they do.

Anyone who characterizes extra-marital affairs with a broad brush is welcome to do so...but what I had with my ex-lover was as real as any relationship I know--more real than a lot of "legitimate" relationships. We just couldn't make it last. It devastated both of us...but that's life.

Don't go around saying all married men who cheat do so just to use women. Some of us actually understand what it is that we're doing, and the risks that we take...and we do it anyways.

SG

 

[Ann0714]

You miss understood me

any information I mentioned were facts from the men themselves. I never really meant all men, it's this thing called testosterone that gives them this desire to achieve pleasure.

women in new relationships actually increase their lever of testosterone, yes women have it in very small portions but increases in new relationships until it is understood her man is now with her.

then it declines and the man's will build. then that pretty much ends some women's desire to have frequent sex after she has her man. she gets relaxed, etc.

I respect you and your opinions.

Well, sorry to burst your stereotype, but men can have their hearts broken, too.

In my case, I met a woman...we were both married and pledged we would stay that way. We ended up falling in love very quickly--not infatuation, the Real Thing. You'll have to trust me on that.

Unfortunately, her marriage went south very quickly, so she decided to get a divorce. I wasn't in a position to do so, for various reasons. We kept it going for a full year...but once her soon-to-be-ex-husband finally moved out of the house, it was clear that there was no way she could live with the constraints of a relationship with a married man and be single. I told her that she should go out and date other guys...she met one and decided that she couldn't find a complete relationship while hanging on to our partial one. So she cut me loose and said she had to give him a chance.

I had lunch with her this week...the first time in four months. The guy she fell in love with after me ended up dumping her and trampling on her heart. She still loves me, very deeply. I love her, with all my heart. But I can't be with her...as much as I wish I could just go to her, I can't. I never promised I'd leave for her. I never asked her to put her life on hold for me. So, we both made the choices that were best for us...and those choices now are forcing us on different paths.

It hurts. A lot. It hurts her, too...I could see it in her eyes. But that would never justify trying to convince her to let me back into her life like that. So, we'll stay friends...maybe see each other for lunch every few months or so. And our hearts will slowly heal. At least, I hope they do.

Anyone who characterizes extra-marital affairs with a broad brush is welcome to do so...but what I had with my ex-lover was as real as any relationship I know--more real than a lot of "legitimate" relationships. We just couldn't make it last. It devastated both of us...but that's life.

Don't go around saying all married men who cheat do so just to use women. Some of us actually understand what it is that we're doing, and the risks that we take...and we do it anyways.

SG

 

[rydia57]

Hi Ann,

Everything you said is true it happened to me 6 years ago.

He was a co-worker and used the same excuse. But his wife divorced him anyway for reasons unbeknownest to me.

During our "relationship" he wanted to keep it in the closet so no one would know. But at the same time me being "the other woman" he was seeing someone else.

He CALLED me to break it off, told me that he had found someone else and had the best 2 weeks with her. But in the phone call he said some hurtful things to me that sent me "underground" because I believed him.

Two months after breaking it off with me heard through friends that he did marry the other woman.

I have met someone new and am happier than I have ever been in a very long time. He makes me feel special but also he's the most kindest and sweetest man I have ever met.

I met one like that a few years ago. We met on a dating site, we had so much in common we had to meet! He and his wife were more like buddies than marrieds and there was no sex between them. He taught me alot of things and we're very close friends now. He treats me special too. I never expected to see him again, but we've been close friends since! So... I gotta find some guy as close to him as possible....