You could start by asking him to hold your hands down or put your fingers under his hands.
My husband was, and is, the same way. And yet, he's now quite adept at giving me what I need when I need to be bound, or i need it rough, or I need CNC, or I need all of it. But it took time. Hell, it's an ongoing process. He could be much more intense than he is.
I really like dominating my partner. She wants it extremely rough. I find it very easy to give her everything she wants.
That was a funny line " than a town covered by vanilla becoz of an explosion at a vanilla plant...."
I'm currently living this. Not married but live-in for over a year. I had to end a great 5 year TPE relationship because my daughter was starting to catch on and I felt I owed her as normal of a childhood as I could provide. Tha boyfriend is fantastic in many, many ways but he's not a natural Dom. He's willing to spank me pretty hard but contiously stopping to ask me if I'm sure I'm okay kind of spoils the vibe. He doesn't want me to work and at first I thought he wanted to keep me dependent to control me but sadly, no. I'm actually much more in control of the relationship than I want to be. I'm older too, (31-24), so that probably plays into it. Sometimes I think I'm making progress, stories about things that I've done or had done to me definitely turn him on but I think he convinces himself I exagerrate. My daughter is 14 so I'm really not sure where this goes once she's out on her own. Sometimes I feel like I'm using him and feel really guilty but I do try to compensate with constant sex. I tell him he can do anything he wants to me and he doesn't take advantage.
You can message me privately if you want to talk about it some more.
Yikes! Your daughter has a smart mouth on her! You raised her well.
A wee bit too late, but I would've replied with "Yes. But I didn't receive permission not to burn your dinner. Oops!"
Yeah. I get it. I doubt very much that it would encourage her to be a sub, but I know what you mean.
And it's not an all out nothing prospect, different things click with different people. My wife, back when she was sexual, sometimes loved having her nipples absolutely abused. At the time, I had great difficulty being rough enough for fear of hurting her, but I tried to tie her wrists once- absolute no-no.My husband was, and is, the same way. And yet, he's now quite adept at giving me what I need when I need to be bound, or i need it rough, or I need CNC, or I need all of it. But it took time. Hell, it's an ongoing process. He could be much more intense than he is.
But back to your question. A poster above commented that being tied up isn't necessarily a BDSM thing. I get what that poster meant, but I'd put it a different way. BDSM encompasses many ways one can be bound or dominated or whatever else. Being tied up while your partner tickles you and teases you and worships your body in a way you can't physical control or stop can be as much a BDSM experience as the rougher stuff.
And that's how I got my Hubby started in bondage. At first, we started with ties wrists, as other have suggested. He then tickled and teased and such, very sensual like he likes, until I was writing in frustration and need. Then he took care of that need in the manner he chose. It worked quite well, and progressed quickly. On his own, he began withholding my orgasm while he teased. I don't really like that in one sense, but I love it in another, because it's a way he takes control when I want him to have control. And it's not rough or demeaning or anything that would likely put off a more romantic, sensual person.
Over time, we started mixing rougher play with me being bound, as well as more complete bindings. But the rougher play was kept separate at first. As someone else suggested, we started with spanking. I told him I liked having my ass slapped. Hell, I told him that our first time together, and he did it. It was really light, but he seemed to like it, so I leaned in and kept it to my ass for awhile. And as the slaps got harder, and we even did some spankings, I mixed in asking him to slap my boobs as well. I'd already introduced rough breasts play by begging him to squeeze and pinch, especially when I was on top. So when the breasts slapping started, it was kinda a natural extension of the kinda rough breasts play and the spanking.
When I thought he was ready, I had him add rougher play to tying me up. Again, it progressed slowly, but not as slowly as the two separately did.
It's a process, one you do not want to just jump in to with a guy like that. I have very vivid memories of some things that Hubby agonized over after we did them. For example, he refused to engage in any rough play for a month after the first time he bruised me in more than a minor way. And he refused to slap my face for a long fucking time, and even now it's never as hard as I would be okay with. It's a rarity even today.
My final recommendation for right now is to establish a safe word. You will find debate on here about safe words, but ignore the noise. Having that safe word, or stop gesture of some kind for times you can't speak, not only protects you. It protects him as well. Hubby and I did it from the beginning more for him than for me. It gave him that security of knowing I was going to let him know if things went to far. I've never used it, because he's never taken things too far. That's partially because that's who he is -- he is never going to push anything he knows I won't want. But part of it is he could push me so much more than he does.
Also, GOOD FOR YOU, for taking on the initiative on this - your partner is very lucky, even if he doesn't seem to know it.
