I need to cum!

[Slutgirl]

Ok, here's my problem. When I was younger(teens), I could cum just by penetration, now it takes alot more. Usually, I can only cum if I am on top, very seldom, and if my husband angles his body just right, I can if he's on top, but usually not. What's wrong?? Once in a while, I can get it if he goes down on me, but I like having his cock in me, I want it that way! Can anyone help me???
BTW, it's a pretty sensitive subjuect for me, try not to be too rough on me, ok?

 

[Guest]

Slutgirl... your problem is pretty complex and way out of league. All I can do is throw some suggestions out there. They may work, they may not. Try including some toys in the mix. You say you like cock in you, OK, there are many different dildos out there. Try to fing one that is close your mans and insert it while he eats you. Or there are lotions that claim to sensitivity enhancers(never tried these). Talking real dirty or about your deepest fantasies always helps when my wife and I are together. I dont know if any of this helps, just some meager suggestions. GOOD LUCK

 

[Dalton]

Slutgirl, please don't feel at all ashamed or sensitive. In my experience, most women cannot or have not (at least consistently) been able to get off merely by penetration. I would suggest two possible solutions. Number one, you and your partner should spend a lot of time engaged in foreplay. Women generally take significantly longer to reach a particularly excited state. And two, you can have your partner pleasure you orally prior to penetration, so that you can get off first and then enjoy the penetration. Seeing a woman come is also a real turn-on for guys (not that we generally need much help).

 

[Hullo_nurse]

Remember that it takes much longer for a woman's body to warm up, like over 30min, before she is ready for that big "O." I, too, very rarely have one with penetration. ANd if he is eating me out, it will take a while unless I am already horney. I always cum harder when he will insert a couple of fingers when orally pleasuring me, or use a vibrator while licking. Multiple stimulations at once work well. I find that my partner tends to cum brefore me 90% of the time & that I lose "it" when I am close if he doesn't do something quickly. One suggestion is to get some delay gel for him. Apply it so that he can stay upright for as long as you need him to so that you can achieve your climax. I will admit that my honey is opposed to the gel, so we haven't used it yet... now do you all see why I am such a horny toad alkl the time & always thing about sex, sex, sex & more sex??? Another suggestion is to relax...if you are trying toooooo hard to cum it just won't happen. Have you tried some non-conventional things as in nipple clamps to add stimulation or a blindfold? Mixing things up a bit may do it for you. Just some suggestions. Let me know if any of them help...

 

[Butterfly]

You are not alone in that field slutgirl. I very rarely cum with penitration. Usually it happens with him eating me and finger penitration or vibrator. I guess I can say it is kinda nice to know I'm not the only one who has that problem. I love making love with my husband and it is great if he goes down on me before hand. So I'll also take suggestions so thanks for asking the question Slutgirl.

 

[Thor]

As a "seasoned citizen" I believe I can speak with some authority based on many years of trial & error ( more the later than the former) First--remember sex is for fun--it's not work! Be patient & make your partner be patient.Concentrate on what you are feelng--really concentrate-
Tell him when that feeling is right the two of you dance the dance together.
One of my beautiful ladies would hum quietly to her self when as she put it
"her train was on the track* & I could
help her keep it there. It always took a while but--it was always worth the wait!!

 

[Mcobb]

Slutgirl...... Don't be ashamed it is a proved scientific fact that 72% of women will not cum in there life time. It is not that there is something wrong with women. It is just when they hit there sexual peak compared to when men hit theirs.

 

[Guest]

I experience the opposite of your problem, slutsky, so don't feel bad in bed, 'cause there is much fun to be had, (rats, now I turn into a rhymeldink)
Anyway, jokes aside, try this: lay on your back, and your partner lays on his side facing you. (There may be a strong preference to be on a specific side for him, so experiment a tit..eehhhh bit) (I have a breast fetish, can you tell??)
Next, position your leg closest to him, over him, and he can now penetrate you, while at the same time stimulate your clit, and breasts. It seems to work very well with the women I am with. Also, since the man uses a bit less energy this way, (yup I am a lazy fuck), he will be able to maintain his erection longer. And it gives you the chance to stimulate yourself, and/or the happy area of your partner.

Hope it works for you guys.
Have a good one. (Orgasm that is.)
F

 

[Enemyoftheworld]

have him pound u

 

[Guest]

Slutgirl, the secret is realising that you can have orgasms DURING penetration, but that's not the same as having orgasms brought on BY penetration.

All a question of trial and error but above all you have to:

1. know your partner and trust each other absolutely
2. be imaginative and try new things.
3. practice

I have been married 21 years and simultaneously had a mistress (it's OK, cool all round, another story ….) for 20 years.

So without claiming to be God's gift to anyone, the reality is I have experience of two different women's bodies and how they have developed sexually over a long period of time, encompassing events which do affect women's sexuality such as childbirth, menopause, etc. (Don't know how old you are, but if you are in your 30s or 40s I'm not at all surprised your sexual responses are different to when you were a teen.)

Probably about 2,000 sex sessions with each. Yes, less now that I am 44, my wife is 43 and my mistress 55, than when we were all 20 years younger … but still at least once per week with each.

How often does my partner reach orgasm?

Mistress - without fail, every time; nowadays, post menopause, she is probably hornier than ever, and even if I planned to come first, I would struggle to get there before her.

My wife - probably upwards of 98%. There are occasions when she is tired or preoccupied and I am horny, and she invites me to screw anyway; more often than not she is eventually aroused, but we have a silent pact that if she really isn't getting turned on beyond warm and cuddly affection, I don't wait for her for ever.

I don't claim any credit for this - it's down to the three rules listed above

What's important is how different these two women are.

My mistress has seldom varied from the following ways of achieving orgasm:

1. Face to face, me on top, her right thigh between mine so that her clit is stimulated while I am thrusting SLOWLY. This way (I presume - haven't asked her!) she is able to tilt her pelvis to the angle which gives her the right level of contact of clitoris on my publc bone
2. Similar position, but with my left hand between us and finger or two on her clitoris. Can be uncomfortable for me with my hand squeezed awkwardly, but what the hell. It's a dead cert.
3. Me on top from behind, with my hand round underneath her to stimulate clit
4. Sitting, she on my lap facing away, again my hand on her clit; I think this gives her the most consistently high climaxes, but she doesn't always want to be so physically removed - it's a less intimate position for kissing and other contact. But the angle of entry is under her control and the combination of my hand masturbating her and working my cock around to her G-spot sends the decibel count off the scale.
5. Orally - she adores being eaten. Usually better in a 69 than just me going down solo; All the oral techniques described in How-to are in our repertoire, but fingers inside vagina are critical as well as tongue/lips/fingers on clit. Have very occasionally used a toy but she's a bit embarrassed to do this (despite her fond memories of one occasion in a car in a park a few hours after buying a dildo ….); she also enjoyed the one-time I ate a fig from her vagina...

Besides the regular positions... she can make it when she's on top, but usually she gets so far and then rolls me over. Occasionally and to my delight, she has got off when I've entered anally, (with hands around to clit as usual) but usually this is a special treat for me when she is finished/drained/sloppy etc.

But overall, I guess in 20 years and a bit, we have had lots of positions for build up and foreplay, but a reasonably limited and consistent set for achieving her orgasm. Invariably however, some penetration or other - cock, finger nose, maybe an object - AND clitoral stimulation required for reach orgasm.


My wife is much more complex.

We've actually been at it for 27 years - since I was 17 and she 15. Over the years she has changed a great deal in terms of what turns her on

As to penetration, she enjoys it hugely but has never been brought to orgasm solely through penetration except of course when the angle has stimulated her clit as well.

For years this was how we made love, face to face man above with penetration and wriggling to get the angles right for clitoral stimulation. Always worked.

Over time though and particularly since having children, (eldest is 14) she has changed a great deal, for example she has really sensitive breasts - but only since her first pregnancy: before they were of little interest to her

Her prime focus is her clitoris,. However she often doesn't want direct stimulation, certainly not to begin with and often not at all. She frequently orgasms with her thighs wrapped around mine, no penetration, and sometimes without my doing anything at all to stimulate, except perhaps hand or mouth to nipple.

The lead up is usually very strong cuddling, she likes warm pressure to her stomach and a very slow build, and must empty her head of all the cares of work, kids, home, etc. .

She also likes to masturbate using my penis. A favourite position for her begins with a back massage - she on her tummy. I kneel astride to do this, and gradually insinuate my cock into her crack, perhaps lubricating it so it slides up to her lips and perineum and anus while I massage. She then reaches down between her own legs and takes my cock in hand - by which time she can forget the back massage bit because I can no longer manage it! She then rubs her lips and clit with the glans, but of course for me after a while this is too much stimulation, and occasionally by the time she has come - either by continuing to masturbate on my cock or by pushing my in and one of us finishing her clit with a hand - I am over-stimulated, and uncomfortable.

One cure for this was a new position we tried in the summer - lying on backs face to face, pelvis to pelvis. She gets to masturbate herself on my cock, using the sensitive underside. Great for me because the vein and the frenum are the bits I want stimulated for orgasm, plus its a real turn on to be able to look at her whole body and watch her doing this. However, we can't kiss at the same time; and it does require a warm enough day or room!

My wife has also enjoyed orgasms in a range of other positions, including on top,and at my gentle instigation she will explore new ideas, but essentially she has to have clitoral stimulation, and often this has to be indirect at least to begin with as she is too sensitive there for an immediate frontal approach.

She will often refuse oral, but when I get there she usually can't stop, and always comes this way. No finger penetration needed, though sometimes anal stimulation sends her off the Richter scale - though she won't repeat her one attempt at anal intercourse. She will come either in a 69 position or with me down solo - I prefer the latter because I can then slide up and in once she has come, whereas in a 69 she's inclined as the climax approaches to forget what she's doing with my cock!

Most important of all, though is to realise that over 27 years the techniques we use have changed greatly if gradually; spells when one particular position or activity is the flavour of the month; things we do now we never used to, things we always used to which we stopped years ago … variety and change have more than helped keep the relationship sexually active and alive.

For example at ages 15 and 17 I can't imagine we'd have considered masturbating ourselves while the other watched, we'd have been too embarrassed!.

This is a long rambling answer - hope you all stuck with me.

Concluding message is: in my experience pure penetration alone may well not bring you or your partner off; but I don't see the big deal: during penetration one or both of you can use fingers, or you can arrange angles and pressure to stimulate the clit indirectly; any reasonably competent and sympathetic man should be able to use his fingers, his face and his cock to bring any woman

 

[Guest]

[No message]

 

[Yummychick]

Have you ever considered that some parts of your anatomy might not be getting the attention they need, such as your clitoris? Perhaps you can only cum on top because that's the only position it's getting stimulated in. Or maybe it might be your breasts, or another part of your body that needs attention. Experiment!!

 

[BIGPOPPAPUMP]

you can have your clitoris stimulated while in the missionary position, if you grind your hips against him while he stays inside you (as opposed to him pumping in and out)

 

[Guest]

Slutgirl... you are definately not alone... my wife is hard pressed to cum... but we find this position works wonders... have your lover lay on his back , you stradle him you take him inside you... once you have him inside lean forward and lay on top of him, keep him inside and straighten your legs so that you are lying flat ontop of him, hold you thighs together... with him inside you, now he holds or grabs you ass, and starts to move you.. over his body.. you slide over him as he pushes and pulls you back and forth.. clamp your pussy on his cock... the pace will pick up, he will buck at you.. and you will continue to slide stimulating your clitoris..faster and faster and you will cum...

 

[Dlphn]

Geez...go with what the golden man posted.
Kudos, golden!

 

[Gary1]

Golden .... .... I didn't know that ..... you need to write a self help book.

 

[Naughtyboy]

I gotta agree with Golden. Damn that guy knows his business. My wife had the same problem but for her she just needed to relax and get into it. She was always worrying about work or laundry until I finally worked her over so bad all she could think about was jumping on my cock and riding me for all it was worth. From then on all it took was foreplay and occasionally for her to use my cock as a dildo and just play with her clit with my cock. I loved it and still do... yeah baby just use me as a cheap toy, i don't mind.