I know you too well to share my kinks.

[hotwords229_A]

Last night I was res-erecting old threads and I found a few that I was a little embarrassed to dig out of the old Lit basement.

It occurred to me that when you are new to Lit it’s easy to walk in and share all kinds of crazy stuff, but as we get to know each other, it may become awkward to overshare.

This is, in my opinion, one of the issues with relationships. You may want your wife/girlfriend to don a strap-on and go to town on your butthole, but you are afraid to admit it, tell her about it or you are concerned that she might not be into seeing her man taking one for the team.

Does this happen to you on Lit?
Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?
Are you a little more bi than you let on?
Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know.
Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?

Tell us, we know each other well enough.

 

[JerseyJade]

Does this happen to you on Lit?
Not sure I understand the question, but I'm not sorry about the threads that I've created.

Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?
Yes.

Are you a little more bi than you let on?
Maybe.

Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know.
No, I don't go looking in there. Not my thing.

Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?
Nope.

 

[cascadiabound]

I'll bite.
i definitely over shared when I was new to lit and learned my lesson - too much unwanted attention and not enough genuine engagement regarding stuff I was struggling to figure out.
Turns out I am probably even less bi than I might have predicted in years past, and I am not ashamed to say I have spent more time in the BDSM corner of lit than anywhere else.
Also - I love the poetry board even though sometimes I think the poetry board is entirely indifferent to me.
My one go at making an alt (a very brief bird walk) was a disaster.... not something I would repeat. Ugh.

 

[Mika1215]

Ok...well, I don't think I really overshared to begin with, but certainly I learned pretty fast that the odd offhand remark can bring an endless stream of DMs that were not exactly the way that I wanted to start conversations, shall we say? So...I'm not in the slightest worried about my Lit rep, because hey, I am pretty much who I am. But I think carefully sometimes.

I'm always a little bi-curious, and not in the slightest embarrassed to admit that I sometimes look in the BDSM threads. Of course. I've thought more about another id when I've wanted to argue about something and not wanted it to hand around forever....but mostly really no.

But overall, here as in the rest of life, we all make up ourselves a bit, curate the collection, file off some of the less attractive edges? It's what we do.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Interesting that you have shared too much in the beginning and it didn’t go well.

But I’m wondering more if the better you get to know someone (on Lit) the less you share due to not wanting to change their opinion of you. I was just using the bi and BDSM as examples.

Does anyone become less graphic and open about your kinks the more you get to know someone?
Does getting to know someone better make things more “real” and make you want to be more sexually conservative in their eyes?

 

[Trekka]

Last night I was res-erecting old threads and I found a few that I was a little embarrassed to dig out of the old Lit basement.

It occurred to me that when you are new to Lit it’s easy to walk in and share all kinds of crazy stuff, but as we get to know each other, it may become awkward to overshare.

This is, in my opinion, one of the issues with relationships. You may want your wife/girlfriend to don a strap-on and go to town on your butthole, but you are afraid to admit it, tell her about it or you are concerned that she might not be into seeing her man taking one for the team.

Does this happen to you on Lit?
Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?
Are you a little more bi than you let on?
Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know.
Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?

Tell us, we know each other well enough.

Ooooh resurrecting your own dead threads. That’s bold. Kinda like the Lit equivalent of rereading angsty teen diary entries.

*shudders*

i remember when you first got here, HW. i never thought you overshared. For the record.

This HAS happened to me IRL and sometimes, yes, i find myself amongst a new group of people and i can let my hair down a little. No one knows me. Till they do know me!

And then i go through these quiet periods where i stfu because i just realized “oh, damn, now i’m invested, i care what people think of me, i better watch my mouth!”

That’s when i gotta remind myself that… this thought is counter to making new friends!

But i dunno if that bleeds over into this space. This is my cone of kinkery.

My Lit posting style - and the types of threads I enjoy - have changed over the years. As I’ve become more of an oldster than a newb round here, I care less and less what people think of me!

It’s kind of awesome!

So it’s less word association and more threads like these. Less quantity and visibility - more quality and vulnerability.

I also get naked waaay less these days. So if I got a little chunkier this year, let’s just say, no one would really be the wiser.

And I’ve always been bisexual… there’s no lit “persona” here. Just a writing style that’s so fuckin recognizable i’d have a very. hard. time. masquerading as an alt for long, no? #FindYourVoice

Kidding.
Kind of.
.
.
.
.

But for the record i have about seven or eight alts i only bring them out when it’s an extreme boredom emergency. Not to explore other forums or try on other sexy hats. I think it’s a reasonable thing to do, tho, if you wanna just poke about unnoticed.

I’m giggling because I’ve always known you were bisexual, HW. You didn’t know?!

 

[Trekka]

^ I cannot figure out how to remove the unicorn emoji attachment from my post. So I’m just gonna fucking leave it there. See? I’m old! Lol

 

[Apisto42]

My earliest posts were embarrassing disasters of shit-tacular proportions. My apologies to anyone who happened to view them.

Luckily, now that I’m the sauve, debonair man that you all desire to have or be, my posts are filled with liquid gold of sexiness and wisdom in equal measure. You’re welcome.

I’ve always been a lurker and sometime poster on the bdsm board, primarily because of the people and I quickly learned which threads to not view. You could say the same about the fetish board I suppose.

 

[Apisto42]

Interesting that you have shared too much in the beginning and it didn’t go well.

But I’m wondering more if the better you get to know someone (on Lit) the less you share due to not wanting to change their opinion of you. I was just using the bi and BDSM as examples.

Does anyone become less graphic and open about your kinks the more you get to know someone?
Does getting to know someone better make things more “real” and make you want to be more sexually conservative in their eyes?

I generally share more the more I know someone. Though I do share a lot when meeting someone.

It’s been interesting to me coming back every few months for just a couple days at a time. I find I’m actually more willing to directly engage more people and be more open with the people I’ve known since I joined.

 

[cascadiabound]

But I’m wondering more if the better you get to know someone (on Lit) the less you share due to not wanting to change their opinion of you.

Does anyone become less graphic and open about your kinks the more you get to know someone?
Does getting to know someone better make things more “real” and make you want to be more sexually conservative in their eyes?

This is an interesting question. I think I have to say it depends.
And not just about sex exactly. I try to not care what people think, but frankly it does trip me up sometimes.
There does seem to be an ebb and flow of starting to share at one level... maybe more deeply than a new relationship (and I am using that word very loosely) deserves, having a period of withdrawing or waiting a bit to gauge things (or as @Trekka says) stfu and consider whether some bit of information might be seen as less than favorable in their eyes. A worry about being judged or being the wrong kind of kinky or the wrong kind of politics.
On the other hand, once I trust someone to love and accept me, I worry a lot less about just putting what is true for me on the table.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Does this happen to you on Lit?
I regret having my first account frogged out. It seemed essential at the time for two reasons, but I have regretted it for a while. I don’t regret any of my posts or threads, although I do regret trusting a few people.

Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?
I’ve become much more careful of the people I get close to and share myself with. I’m very happy to have reconnected with two amazing Lit ladies with whom I had had a falling out.

Are you a little more bi than you let on?
Nope. I’ve tried it twice and definitely not my thing. I’m a total hetero.

Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know.
Lol, not embarrassed at all and I don’t hide this side of me, although I did initially several years ago.

Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?
That’s actually how this account was created, lol. (Plus, maybe a couple other GB alts…none are active anymore, but they were fun for a while.)

 

[default24]

Does this happen to you on Lit?

Sometimes. I'm not going to let it allllllll out on the threads

Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?

Hmmmm. That's pretty rare. The closer I get to someone the more I'll let my guard down

Are you a little more bi than you let on?

No. It's let on enough

Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know.

Not at all, I've posted in there from time to time. I like the Cafe they have good stuff in there

Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?

I do have one alt. That little guy has a whopping 0 posts. Strictly for stalking! Haven't logged into it in at least a year now though

Tell us, we know each other well enough.

Yeah we do

 

[hotwords229_A]

i remember when you first got here, HW. i never thought you overshared. For the record.


I’m giggling because I’ve always known you were bisexual, HW. You didn’t know?!

I was going to respond to your comment on my oversharing and then at the last second I saw some hidden print!
Prove it! No, really, I’ve masturbated to this exact fantasy—you, and others, whispering those exact words in my ear just as . . .

But don’t tell anyone, because I’m super embarrassed about it.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’ve often wondered if relationships would work better if we told each other our weirdest kinks on the first date just to get it all out of the way and if no one is bothered by any of it then we get to know each other.

Am I wrong?

 

[Apisto42]

You’re not wrong. If there was such a thing as a mind meld where you were truly open to another person, I bet you would have better long term relationships.

Having said that, it’s probably inappropriate to just start talking about master/slave relationships over the bread basket. Unless you met up on fetlife.

So I suppose I’m a bit torn on the issue. Like if I was single, I doubt I’d tell a first date that I don’t have a single issue with going down on her after I just filled her.

But if we met on lit first and then met in person? She’d already know that.

 

[Endless_Night]

Does this happen to you on Lit?
Do you find yourself not sharing as much with the people you become closer to so as to not tarnish your awesome, carefully cultivated Lit persona?
Are you a little more bi than you let on?
Are you kind of embarrassed to admit you “maybe” looked at the BDSM threads longer than you want people to know.
Have you considered creating another Lit account so you can post in (or create) threads that you are curious about, but you want to do it “anonymously”?

Tell us, we know each other well enough.

-Nope. Lit is where I talk about my weird sex stuff.
-No.
-No. (But I am amused that you are, Muscles!)
-Nope. I started out on the BDSM board.
-No. I am terrible at dissembling. I'd out myself in a hot second. Also, see the first answer.


Based on my answers to your I get the feeling we are both having entirely different Lit experiences. I mean, you know at a guess.

 

[hotwords229_A]

-Nope. Lit is where I talk about my weird sex stuff.
-No.
-No. (But I am amused that you are, Muscles!)
-Nope. I started out on the BDSM board.
-No. I am terrible at dissembling. I'd out myself in a hot second. Also, see the first answer.


Based on my answers to your I get the feeling we are both having entirely different Lit experiences. I mean, you know at a guess.

You do have a distinctive voice and persona. If you did come in as someone else we would all berate you for stealing Enny’s style. One of the great disadvantages of standing out in a crowd.

Also, what’s with all this white text bisexual innuendo? I’ve admitted nothing! Nothing I say!
I’m now wondering what other hidden messages have been right under my nose.
Have I been hypnotized? Brainwashed? Manchurian Candidated? MK Ultra’d?

 

[Endless_Night]

< I’m now wondering what other hidden messages have been right under my nose.
Have I been hypnotized? Brainwashed? Manchurian Candidated? MK Ultra’d?

Oh, we talk about you this way all the time. Didn't you know?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Oh, we talk about you this way all the time. Didn't you know?

From now on I will select all on every post and turn the text black just to make sure!

 

[Lady2020]

Lit is a good place to vent to the universe. Doesn't mean everyone wants to hear it. It's a good place to discuss adult themes. Fetlife is too complicated, to me, and Twitter definitely isn't a good replacement. Most of us say or do something we regret wherever we are. Lit's just another platform to be human, which is complicated.

 

[hotwords229_A]

For those of you who have changed your username, can you tell us why you did it?
Did you want to shake your previous persona?
Did your kinks change?
Or was it just a way of changing things up a little like painting your bathroom?

I’ve been considering changing my name to Hotwords229_B just so I can be more open and free, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of commitment.

 

[cascadiabound]

For those of you who have changed your username, can you tell us why you did it?
Did you want to shake your previous persona?
Did your kinks change?
Or was it just a way of changing things up a little like painting your bathroom?

I’ve been considering changing my name to Hotwords229_B just so I can be more open and free, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of commitment.

My first user name here got me attention I didn't expect, was surprised by and it weirded me out a bit as a result. It didn't take me but a few months to abandon that one and try again...
Call me naive...
I like my nic now. I don't plan to change it or abandon it... I've been told I have a distinctive style/voice, so like Enny, y'all would prolly sus it out.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I’d like to add to mine.
SMNaughtyFilthySluttyWife
Wanna make sure I have all the bases covered.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I just wanted a change. I didn’t pick the name Sexybritches in the first place so this time when I came back to lit I just wanted a fresh start with a name that I liked better.

I do kind of miss the SB name because that’s associated with fond memories from when I first joined, but it’s also nice to start anew.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I'm still rocking my OG handle.
There is a lot of pressure to pick a username. I can't think of a better monicker yet.

And I'm having pretty frank discussions about what's ok and not when I'm planning on having sex with someone. I guess for me, because I'm accepting of my own kinks, fantasies and desires I'm able to accept others. I may not be into them, but I'm down for giving it a go most times. Actually... On second thought... Am I? Perhaps not.

And I think I'm less bi than I thought. I also don't know. I'm constantly evolving.