Humor Thread
- Thread starter DG Hear
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DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Just in case anyone doesn't go back to the previous page. I spent a lot of time posting this one. LOL
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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THEY NEVER TAUGHT THE ALPHABET LIKE THIS WHEN i WAS IN SCHOOL!
http://forum.nicestories.com/files//22926-abc.gif
http://forum.nicestories.com/files//22926-abc.gif
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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What Can You Say?
http://forum.nicestories.com/files//22823-wife.gif
I don't get it. He marrys a woman and she tells him what to do from that point on. So what's your point? Am I missing something? Don't we all face this fact in life?
For the slower members in the group, I'm just kidding. Men never listen to women anyway.
For the even slower members, I'm just kidding about men not listening, but then if you're that slow, you probably can't read and I'm wasting my time typing this last part.
( my wife was behind me when I wrote that last part)
She's gone now.
DG LOL
http://forum.nicestories.com/files//22823-wife.gif
I don't get it. He marrys a woman and she tells him what to do from that point on. So what's your point? Am I missing something? Don't we all face this fact in life?
For the slower members in the group, I'm just kidding. Men never listen to women anyway.
For the even slower members, I'm just kidding about men not listening, but then if you're that slow, you probably can't read and I'm wasting my time typing this last part.
( my wife was behind me when I wrote that last part)
She's gone now.
DG LOL
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Immigration
A Saudi arrived in New York. The immigration officer asked, ‘What is your name.’
He replied, ‘Iqbal Hussain.’
‘Age.’
‘Thirty six.’
‘Sex.’
‘Six times a week.’
Immigration officer said, ‘No, I mean male or female.’
The Saudi shrugged, ‘Doesn’t matter. Many times I have to be content with a camel.’
A Saudi arrived in New York. The immigration officer asked, ‘What is your name.’
He replied, ‘Iqbal Hussain.’
‘Age.’
‘Thirty six.’
‘Sex.’
‘Six times a week.’
Immigration officer said, ‘No, I mean male or female.’
The Saudi shrugged, ‘Doesn’t matter. Many times I have to be content with a camel.’
matriarch
Rotund retiree
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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles.
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles.
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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How To Know When You Are Getting Old
Everything hurts-What doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
The gleam in your eye is The sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after; But you haven’t been anywhere.
You get winded playing cards.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You join a health club but don’t go.
A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge.
You know all the answers, But no one asks the question.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You need glasses to find glasses.
You turn out the lights for economy instead of romance.
You sit in a rocking chair but can’t make it go.
Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Your house is too big and your medicine chest is not big enough.
Your narrow waist and broad mind begin changing places.
I just want to live long enough to be a problem for my kids!
Everything hurts-What doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.
The gleam in your eye is The sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after; But you haven’t been anywhere.
You get winded playing cards.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You join a health club but don’t go.
A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge.
You know all the answers, But no one asks the question.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You need glasses to find glasses.
You turn out the lights for economy instead of romance.
You sit in a rocking chair but can’t make it go.
Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Your house is too big and your medicine chest is not big enough.
Your narrow waist and broad mind begin changing places.
I just want to live long enough to be a problem for my kids!
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Women are Evil
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful cream slice complementary from the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And you'll now be his carer!'
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed...........
The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. What did you buy?'
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful cream slice complementary from the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And you'll now be his carer!'
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed...........
The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. What did you buy?'
redpaint
Literotica Guru
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- May 21, 2008
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Jack has a girlfriend, Wendy, whom he loves a lot. To prove how much he loves her, he gets "Wendy" tattooed on his weenie. When it's erect, it says her name, and when deflated it reads "Wy". When she sees her name on his masculine member, she is overwhelmed. Jack pops the question to her, she accepts and off they go to Jamaica on their honeymoon! There, they try out all the local culture, including a nude beach. They are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing, and get something to drink at the beach bar. He walks over to the bar with his deflated love muscle, trying not to let his eye wander and embarrass himself! He orders a drink from the guy at the bar who is also naked. He is surprised to note that the bartender also has "Wy" tattooed on his weenie! Jack says to the guy, "Wow, what a coincidence, your girlfriend is named "Wendy" and you have her name tattooed on your private too!" The bartender looks slowly down at Jack's thing, back to his face and starts laughing! Flashing a wide grin, he says, "No, mon. Mine says, "Welcome to Jamaica, Have a nice day"
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Test, ACTIVATE YOUR BRAIN CELLS
Examples:
1. MAN
---------------
BOARD
Ans. = man over-board
2. STAND
--------------
I
Ans. = I under - stand
OK... GOT THE IDEA? LET'S SEE HOW WELL YOU DO DOWN HERE:
3. /R /E /A /D /I /N /G /
4. R
R O A D
A
D
5. CYCLE
CYCLE
CYCLE
6.
T
O
W
N
7. LE / / VEL /
8 . 0
------------
M.D. Ph.D.
9. KNEE
---------------
LIGHT
10. ii ii
------------
O O
11. dice
dice
12.
T
O
U
C
H
13.
GROUND
---------------
FEET
FEET
FEET
FEET
FEET
FEET
14. he's / himself
15. ECNALG
16. DEATH / LIFE
17. T H I N K
18. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....
3. Ans. = reading between the lines
4. Ans. = cross road
5. Ans. = tri-cycle
6. Ans. = downtown
7. Ans. = split level
8. Ans. = two degrees below zero
9. Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
10. Ans. = circles under the eyes
11. Ans. = paradise
12. Ans. = touch down
13. Ans. = six feet underground
14. Ans. = he's by himself
15. Ans. = backward glance
16. Ans. = life after death
17. Ans. think big!
18. Ans. long time no 'c' (see)
Examples:
1. MAN
---------------
BOARD
Ans. = man over-board
2. STAND
--------------
I
Ans. = I under - stand
OK... GOT THE IDEA? LET'S SEE HOW WELL YOU DO DOWN HERE:
3. /R /E /A /D /I /N /G /
4. R
R O A D
A
D
5. CYCLE
CYCLE
CYCLE
6.
T
O
W
N
7. LE / / VEL /
8 . 0
------------
M.D. Ph.D.
9. KNEE
---------------
LIGHT
10. ii ii
------------
O O
11. dice
dice
12.
T
O
U
C
H
13.
GROUND
---------------
FEET
FEET
FEET
FEET
FEET
FEET
14. he's / himself
15. ECNALG
16. DEATH / LIFE
17. T H I N K
18. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....
3. Ans. = reading between the lines
4. Ans. = cross road
5. Ans. = tri-cycle
6. Ans. = downtown
7. Ans. = split level
8. Ans. = two degrees below zero
9. Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
10. Ans. = circles under the eyes
11. Ans. = paradise
12. Ans. = touch down
13. Ans. = six feet underground
14. Ans. = he's by himself
15. Ans. = backward glance
16. Ans. = life after death
17. Ans. think big!
18. Ans. long time no 'c' (see)
redpaint
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A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend.
After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened.
He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball solidly embedded. It was a yellow ball so he knew it was not his.
A woman comes out of the bushes apparently searching for her lost golf ball. The helpful male golfer lifted the cow's tail and asked, "Does this look like yours?"
That was the last thing he could remember.
After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened.
He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball solidly embedded. It was a yellow ball so he knew it was not his.
A woman comes out of the bushes apparently searching for her lost golf ball. The helpful male golfer lifted the cow's tail and asked, "Does this look like yours?"
That was the last thing he could remember.
redpaint
Literotica Guru
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There are two trees in the forest. They are very proud trees. One day
they notice a sapling half-way between them. One tree proclaims, "That
is a son of beech!" "No, that is a son of a birch!" insists the other.
"A son of a BEECH!" "A son of a BIRCH!" "Son of a beech!" "Son of a
birch!" The fighting attracts a woodpecker who informs them that he
can tell what kind of tree the sapling is by its taste. First he
tastes the beech and the birch. Then he tastes the sapling. "Well now,
is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" asks the beech. "You're
both wrong!" says the bird. "That's the best piece of ash I've had my
pecker in for a long time."
they notice a sapling half-way between them. One tree proclaims, "That
is a son of beech!" "No, that is a son of a birch!" insists the other.
"A son of a BEECH!" "A son of a BIRCH!" "Son of a beech!" "Son of a
birch!" The fighting attracts a woodpecker who informs them that he
can tell what kind of tree the sapling is by its taste. First he
tastes the beech and the birch. Then he tastes the sapling. "Well now,
is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" asks the beech. "You're
both wrong!" says the bird. "That's the best piece of ash I've had my
pecker in for a long time."
redpaint
Literotica Guru
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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven, don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - very tall, long eyelashes, muscular - and chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a Duck."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - very tall, long eyelashes, muscular - and chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a Duck."
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Worlds First Hybred Motorcycle
need to turn the sound up a little.
http://www.joe-ks.com:80/archives_may2006/1stHybridMotorcycle.htm
need to turn the sound up a little.
http://www.joe-ks.com:80/archives_may2006/1stHybridMotorcycle.htm
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
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- May 4, 2006
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A cowboy rides up to a saloon in Abeline, dismounts, lifts the tail of his horse and plants a big kiss on his horse's asshole.
Another cowboy standing on the porch says, "Hey partner, whad yu do thet fur?"
The first cowboy replies, "Muh durn lips are chapped."
"Do that help?"
"Sorta, keeps me from lickin' 'em."
Another cowboy standing on the porch says, "Hey partner, whad yu do thet fur?"
The first cowboy replies, "Muh durn lips are chapped."
"Do that help?"
"Sorta, keeps me from lickin' 'em."
for you, but not the horse.
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
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Three female friends, one single with a boyfriend, one newly married and one married for 12 years are talking about doing something wild in their sex lives.
They all go to an S&M boutique and buy leather bustiers, spike heels and masks. Then they agree to meet in 3 days to describe what happened.
When they meet, the single woman says, "I wore my outfit to my boyfriend's office with a raincoat over it, I exposed myself and we had sex on his desk, then all night in his apartment."
The newlywed says, "I met my husband at the door when he came home from work, we had sex right there on the rug, then he carried me upstairs and we made love all night long."
The married woman says, "I met my husband in the kitchen. He looked me up and down, opened the fridge, took out a beer, opened it, took a long swig and said, "So what's for dinner Batgirl?"
They all go to an S&M boutique and buy leather bustiers, spike heels and masks. Then they agree to meet in 3 days to describe what happened.
When they meet, the single woman says, "I wore my outfit to my boyfriend's office with a raincoat over it, I exposed myself and we had sex on his desk, then all night in his apartment."
The newlywed says, "I met my husband at the door when he came home from work, we had sex right there on the rug, then he carried me upstairs and we made love all night long."
The married woman says, "I met my husband in the kitchen. He looked me up and down, opened the fridge, took out a beer, opened it, took a long swig and said, "So what's for dinner Batgirl?"
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Ouch!!!
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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The Cat And The Rooster
There was a cat and a rooster sitting on the bank of a lake that surrounded an island. Both the rooster and the cat had ate all of the food located around the lake, and were getting quite hungry. They looked over at the island and seen it was lush and green and full of food.
The rooster said, "Hey I could run and jump across the lake and have a very good meal on that island."
The cat responded, "I bet I could beat you across." The rooster accepted the challenge. At the same time, both the cat and the rooster, went back as far as they thought to get a running start.
Both took off running, jumped at the same time, and the cat landed in the water, and the rooster landed on the island.
The moral of the story, Where there is a wet Pussy, there is always a happy Cock.
There was a cat and a rooster sitting on the bank of a lake that surrounded an island. Both the rooster and the cat had ate all of the food located around the lake, and were getting quite hungry. They looked over at the island and seen it was lush and green and full of food.
The rooster said, "Hey I could run and jump across the lake and have a very good meal on that island."
The cat responded, "I bet I could beat you across." The rooster accepted the challenge. At the same time, both the cat and the rooster, went back as far as they thought to get a running start.
Both took off running, jumped at the same time, and the cat landed in the water, and the rooster landed on the island.
The moral of the story, Where there is a wet Pussy, there is always a happy Cock.
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
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- May 4, 2006
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The phone rings and a elderly woman answers "Hello."
"Mrs. Saunders?"
"Yes."
"This is Dr. Williams at Mercy Hospital. Your husband John underwent a battery of tests last week; unfortunately another man name John Saunders underwent the same tests and somehow the results were intermingled and we don't know which is which."
"Oh my goodness."
"Unfortunately, both tests are disturbing. One indicates a person with Alzheimers Disease and the other indicates an HIV infection."
"Oh dear. Those tests were so expensive."
"I know, and Medicare will only pay for them once."
"What shall I do, doctor?"
"I've consulted with my colleagues and we suggest you drop your husband off somewhere downtown. If he returns home, don't have sex with him."
"Mrs. Saunders?"
"Yes."
"This is Dr. Williams at Mercy Hospital. Your husband John underwent a battery of tests last week; unfortunately another man name John Saunders underwent the same tests and somehow the results were intermingled and we don't know which is which."
"Oh my goodness."
"Unfortunately, both tests are disturbing. One indicates a person with Alzheimers Disease and the other indicates an HIV infection."
"Oh dear. Those tests were so expensive."
"I know, and Medicare will only pay for them once."
"What shall I do, doctor?"
"I've consulted with my colleagues and we suggest you drop your husband off somewhere downtown. If he returns home, don't have sex with him."
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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A cop caught a young dating couple making out by the side of the highway and promptly wrote them a ticket. After getting dressed, the girl asked her boy friend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.
He responded, “Doing 69 in a 35 mph speed zone.”
He responded, “Doing 69 in a 35 mph speed zone.”
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Potentially And Reality
Youngest son: Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between "potentially and reality"?
Dad: I will show you.
Dad turns to his wife and asks her, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity!
Then Dad asks his daughter if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?
Daughter: Wow! Yes! This is my fantasy!
Dad turns to his elder son and asks him, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder son: Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million dollars! I would not even hesitate!
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son,'potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'reality' we are living with two hookers and a gay!"
Youngest son: Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between "potentially and reality"?
Dad: I will show you.
Dad turns to his wife and asks her, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity!
Then Dad asks his daughter if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?
Daughter: Wow! Yes! This is my fantasy!
Dad turns to his elder son and asks him, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder son: Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million dollars! I would not even hesitate!
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son,'potentially' we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in 'reality' we are living with two hookers and a gay!"
redpaint
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 21, 2008
- Posts
- 3,160
crazy old woman vs telemarketer ( warning hilarious)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkE1Nbk-wuI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkE1Nbk-wuI&feature=related
redpaint
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 21, 2008
- Posts
- 3,160
How to respond to a telemarketer - The Seinfeld way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ&feature=related
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