How to not have a wierd 1st date?

[biggieds]

Personally, I think im a smoothe talker and a funny guy. But once in a while I think you need to offer a chick more. Now, most of us have had a wierd first date where either you can tell your date has nothing to say to you, or is just not interested in where your going etc etc.

So I ask,

1st: Whats a good place (besides a movie, or bowling or mini golf or something cheesey like that) to take a woman on a 1st date- any place romantic in particular?

2nd: If you ever have been on a wierd 1st date, and you realize your doing all the talking, asking all the questions (and just getting one word answers), do you guys know any good ways to either initate a gooood conversation or get your (one word) date talking?

Let me just say, it wasn't the most romantic evening tonight...I ended up doing a lot of the talking.

 

[Monazwx]

Question: How much did you know about your date before you asked her out?

 

[biggieds]

i didnt know her at all

 

[Monazwx]

Did you both decide where to go before the date, or was it your choice?

 

[Bill23]

Biggieds,

I'm sorry to hear things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to on your date. Here are some general thoughts that I have on your post, in no particular order:

I think you may need to take more of a "forest" (big picture) approach to dating instead of worrying so much about the details of the evening. First dates are always at least a little bit awkward for both people involved and sometimes too much focus on the small stuff can be kind of mentally taxing. If you're on a date with a woman, you've already secured some level of interest from her, so you don't need to obsess about showing her the perfect, most romantic time. Instead, focus on getting to know her (and having her get to know you) and just having a fun time and some interesting conversation.

The one-word answers might not be as horrible as you think they were. If your date is rude enough to be giving you one-word answers in order to send some kind of message of disinterest, you don't want a second date with her anyway. If this is the case, however, just be mature and ignore her. Don't thrill her by being rude back.

It's far more likely (particularly if she's young) that she's intimidated by you or just shy. Either way, it would be polite of you to start a conversation rolling. Everyone has something (usually many things) that they enjoy talking about. If you vary the discussion topics enough, you'll eventually hit on something she's interested in.

I'm a big believer in dinner as a great first date option. Try to pick a restaurant where the noise level isn't going to hinder conversation. If you have some dining variety where you live, try a restaurant that's a little less run of the mill. If you guys are younger, you might like a fondue place or a restaurant where crazy chefs cook in front of you and throw food (with deft precision) around. If you're older, these types of places usually have subpar, overpriced food and the "entertainment" aspects can be a bit annoying. If that's a concern, consider a place with unusual food (i.e. not American, European, Chinese, or Mexican.)

Don't call your date a "chick". Do be a gentleman, but don't be a stiff.

Bill

 

[biggieds]

Bill you rock, thanks for the advice, thats actually a pretty good call looking at the whole picture, made me feel better too

David

 

[Lust Engine]

Personally, I think im a smoothe talker and a funny guy. But once in a while I think you need to offer a chick more. Now, most of us have had a wierd first date where either you can tell your date has nothing to say to you, or is just not interested in where your going etc etc.

So I ask,

1st: Whats a good place (besides a movie, or bowling or mini golf or something cheesey like that) to take a woman on a 1st date- any place romantic in particular?

2nd: If you ever have been on a wierd 1st date, and you realize your doing all the talking, asking all the questions (and just getting one word answers), do you guys know any good ways to either initate a gooood conversation or get your (one word) date talking?

Let me just say, it wasn't the most romantic evening tonight...I ended up doing a lot of the talking.

I guess my first inclination would be to not choosenot choose a romantic place for the first date. No need to put that much pressure on yourself. Choose a place that you'd like to go to with a friend (technically that's all that she is at the moment). Like Bill said, a nice restaurant would be ideal... but it doesn't have to have all the pretense of it being a "romantic" restaurant. Both of you folks have to eat, so why not get together for a meal? Again, think about it as a friendly meal and not a date meal.

As far as the dud conversations go, it happens. Above all remain a gentleman in this scenario. No need to be a prick about this even though you know this could be the last time you ever dine with this person. Try to keep things light; discuss things like the restaurant's decor, the food, anything! Try to work your way through dinner without being too awkward; remain true to yourself. After the night comes to a close, thank her for a great evening and part amicably.

If it turns out to be a dud of a date, no need to ever feel obligated to go back with her. Thanks, but no thanks. Keep your dignity about you. Chalk it up to experience (neither good nor bad).

Good luck to you.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Phil69]

Most people like to talk about themselves, so maybe try to have some questions in mind before the date in case conversation lags. Make sure they are not questions that can be answered with a yes or no, and also ones that don't come across as too personal. With a little practice you can come up with questions based on the current conversation. Start with a VERY brief personal anecdote or comment, then ask her a question and look as interested as you can with out appearing to be in psycho stalker mode.

Thats a really good idea

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[DavenJ]

How not to have a weird date?
Easy just follow the advise below:

THINGS MEN SHOULD NOT SAY ON A FIRST DATE...

10) "So, anyway, now the police say I’m not even allowed to keep the guns..."
9) "You should see my bedroom - it’s full of Star Trek posters!"
8) "You look just like my mother in law."
7) "Hang on... Ooh! I’ve got a pubic hair caught under my foreskin."
6) "When you do a poo, do you sometimes go back into the toilet a few minutes afterwards to see if it still smells?"
5) "Do you like Dungeons & Dragons?"
4) "I shave my testicles."
3) "Is it true that women wee out of their bottoms?"
2) "I can name forty types of cheese."
1) "You should see my bedroom - it’s full of geese!"

THINGS WOMEN SHOULD NOT SAY ON A FIRST DATE...

10. "Technically, I still love Simon Le Bon."
9. "Will you marry me?"
8. "Cats are more intelligent than men."
7. "I might as well tell you now - I suffer from terrible fanny farts."
6. "I used to be a man."
5. "I was drunk when I got here."
4. "Even the thought of oral sex turns my stomach."
3. "I must’ve slept with over four hundred men."
2. "I hate my hairy arse. It’s so unwomanly."
1. "Shall we get the money out of the way now?"

 

[Lust Engine]

Y'know what? I'm swayed by Orchid's thoughts about not going to a restaurant on a first date now.

It was always the place I took first dates but then I also knew that person to a certain degree too before we ever made dinner date plans.

I can see how a stiff conversation at dinner can just kill the mood & appetite.

 

[biggieds]

You know whats funny, I asked this girl out to day, and I was going to say " want to go out this weekend and walk around down town" but I ended up saying "...go to the movies in stead." I honestly think, its an automatic thing, but I am gonna try orchids idea of walking around.

Dave

 

[Lust Engine]

You know whats funny, I asked this girl out to day, and I was going to say " want to go out this weekend and walk around down town" but I ended up saying "...go to the movies in stead." I honestly think, its an automatic thing, but I am gonna try orchids idea of walking around.

Dave

Grand idea about the walk, but what about a destination?? It's great if there's a boardwalk, shore line or some place kind of scenic, but what if there isn't?? I guess the premise of a walk is a great idea but it could also depend on the geography of the town you're in. I think it would just seem a tad weird to drive somewhere & THEN walk if it isn't scenic.

What about a walk to get a cup of coffee or something along those lines? Not too pretentious??

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[Lust Engine]

Don't forget to tell her you'll be walking at least part of the date, you don't want her showing up in uncomfortable shoes and getting pissed after 5-10 minutes.

Great idea!

While I'm sure if she showed up in the 6" stiletto fuck me boots it'd send another sort of message, I don't think that was the kind of help you were requesting here!