How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[phrodeau]

My understanding is that the Unicorn mentioned in the Bible is not the same unicorn as we think of today.

07214. Mar r@'em, reh-ame'
Search for 07214 in KJV


or rieym {reh-ame'}; or reym {rame}; or rem {rame}; from 7213; a wild bull (from its conspicuousness):--unicorn.

Well, if you can't trust the Bible to tell a wild bull from a rhinoceros, how can you trust it to tell an Antichrist from a Christ?

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

You need to present more information because you're wrong but I can't tell you how unless you actually say something. The word for unicorn in the bible is "Unicornus" which is Latin for a species of rhino, like I already said.

No one who actually studies the bible really thinks it's a unicorn. That's not a thing. That's why it aggravates me when atheists throw it up at religious folks. No one actually believes that.

They do actually think the globe is flat and the moon produces it's own light and a bunch of other crazy shit but there's nothing in the text indicating that they actually believe in unicorns.

Edit: In fact, the bible only mentions unicorns like... 9 or 10 times, and I think I already listed them all in a previous post.

And they were very clearly talking about a rhino. They talk about it being big and bulky and difficult to tame and even place the horn on its nose (not its forehead like a sheep or goat).

You may be right. I haven't done a lot of research on it. I will have to look it up.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Well, if you can't trust the Bible to tell a wild bull from a rhinoceros, how can you trust it to tell an Antichrist from a Christ?

You can trust God and the Bible. Trust and believe the Lord.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Unicorns must have been on Noah's Ark somewhere. How else would Job have known about them?

219 posts to go.

I recall a Far Side cartoon: Noah is standing and glaring on the deck of the ark with all the animals looking at him in embarrassment, and says, "Well, so much for the unicorns! From now on, all carnivores will be confined to C deck!"

 

[Kirkrapine]

They might have been one of the critters he barbecued.

Because... yeah, I mean, it's not like there was anything for them to eat. All the plants were dead. God literally salted the earth. What the hell else are you gonna do with them?

Might as well eat.

They didn't really understand that when Genesis was written. They thought of plants, not as living things, but as natural growths of the earth.

 

[Kirkrapine]

You can trust God and the Bible. Trust and believe the Lord.

If God can do anything, can He sin?

 

[phrodeau]

If God can do anything, can He sin?

He knocked up Mary without marrying her first.

 

[Kirkrapine]

He knocked up Mary without marrying her first.

Well, that's kind of like fornication, but . . . it's just not, okay?! He didn't enjoy it!

 

[phrodeau]

Well, that's kind of like fornication, but . . . it's just not, okay?! He didn't enjoy it!

Apparently God impregnated Mary by ear.

 

[Tryharder62]

If God can do anything, can He sin?

This VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV!

Since holiness, righteousness, and God's other perfections are who God is, if God were to sin, He would cease to be God. The fact that God is "holy, holy, holy" prevents Him from doing anything that is unholy, i.e. sin.

Apparently God impregnated Mary by ear.

Never take the holy spirit for granted.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

They might have been one of the critters he barbecued.

Because... yeah, I mean, it's not like there was anything for them to eat. All the plants were dead. God literally salted the earth. What the hell else are you gonna do with them?

Might as well eat.

They grew plants in pots on the ark. They didn't eat animals until after the flood.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Stupidest thread in the history of the GB. So why won't it die?

For the same reason Tiny Trump is POTUS.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Unicorns must have been on Noah's Ark somewhere. How else would Job have known about them?

219 posts to go.

I recall a Far Side cartoon:

NOAH: Well, so much for the unicorns! From now on, all carnivores will be confined to C Deck!

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Stupidest thread in the history of the GB. So why won't it die?

For the same reason Tiny Trump is POTUS.

Trumo fixed the economy and the Democrats hate him for it.

 

[Kirkrapine]

Trumo fixed the economy and the Democrats hate him for it.

Fixed shit. All current prosperity is Obama's doing, and there will be a recession before 2020.

 

[Kirkrapine]

They grew plants in pots on the ark.

Does Scripture say so?

 

[phrodeau]

Does Scripture say so?

All the potters drowned.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Trumo fixed the economy and the Democrats hate him for it.

I thought your god chased the money changers from the temple.

And no he did not. He fucked the economy. Get out of the market and grab your beads and say a Rosery and a Perfect Act of Contrition.

Tiny is an offense to the Lord.

Tiny is an abomination.

"O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Trump would have had ICE deport Jesus for sure. Dirty, homeless Middle Eastern social reformer and street preacher......and he drinks and has brown skin and long hair! He wants you to give up all of your money! He hangs out with hookers and doesn't even try to fuck them? Sacre bleu!

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Fixed shit. All current prosperity is Obama's doing, and there will be a recession before 2020.

That's the biggest joke I have ever heard. Obama took every opportunity to wreck the economy. Lowest GDP of any President ever through all 8 years. It wasn't until Trump completely reversed Obama's policies that the economy soared. Even the Corporations said it was because of Trump. Obama was choking them out with high taxes and high regulations. Trump lowered corporate tax down to 21% and drastically cut massive regulations what cost billions and billions and wages soared as a result and GDP soared as well. Capitalism works. Look at Venezuela since they went Socialist. How are they doing now?

 

[Kirkrapine]

Capitalism works.

Only when tamed by the state.

 

[phrodeau]

That's the biggest joke I have ever heard. Obama took every opportunity to wreck the economy. Lowest GDP of any President ever through all 8 years. It wasn't until Trump completely reversed Obama's policies that the economy soared. Even the Corporations said it was because of Trump. Obama was choking them out with high taxes and high regulations. Trump lowered corporate tax down to 21% and drastically cut massive regulations what cost billions and billions and wages soared as a result and GDP soared as well. Capitalism works. Look at Venezuela since they went Socialist. How are they doing now?

I was going to say that's the stupidest thing I've seen you post, but then I remembered the rest of the thread.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Only when tamed by the state.

It built every economic giant. Socialism destroyed every economic giant that has used it.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

It built every economic giant. Socialism destroyed every economic giant that has used it.

Christians are so unlike their Christ.

 

[Kirkrapine]

It built every economic giant.

And that giant always proved a mindless, raging, blood-drinking, ravening destructive monster until tamed by the state. The size and strength of Godzilla is no reason to tolerate him.

And it is also true that Stalin built an economic giant.