How to deal with premature ejaculation

[headless]

Im 48 and Ive had this problem for as long as I can remember. Its embarrassing, and has destroyed relationships Ive had. My sex life is miserable. Im lucky in that Ive been told Im very good at giving a woman oral. But I want to be able to last longer. Ive tried Viagra. Ive tried cock rings. It also doesnt help that Im not the biggest. So being small, and quick just isnt working. Im just at a loss. I dont wanna be sexless the rest of my life. What can I do? The internet just shows me fantasy cures. What can an average person do to overcome this?

 

[supercollider00]

Hey sorry to hear you have such issues.

Although I haven't had premature issues myself, one trick I do use when not wanting to cum is quite simple. Concentrate on your body and then put your tongue towards the top of your pallett. For some reason it actually helps. I know it sounds ridiculously stupid but it makes a difference.

Also, learn to be able to think of something else to distract you from the pleasure and most importantly: pace yourself.

I've heard many on here talk about numbing creams and sprays. Several people say they do help but I can't attest to that.

Good luck and I hope this can help

 

[Jada59]

Can you get hard again after you cum? Some guys can. Some can't. If you can, you might find that you last longer the second time around. You also might have to wait an hour or two to get hard again.

AI'm a woman and I cum too quickly. I know a lot of people would say this isn't a problem for me because I can also have endless orgasms. But... There are times when I want to hold off and have a bigger orgasm.

What doesn't work for me is to tell myself not to cum. Also doesn't work if my partner tells me not to cum. In both cases, I will cum even faster!

What does work for me sometimes is to have my partner edge me. Years ago, I had an older BF. We liked to go out dancing. One night in the club, he kept edging me for hours. Some of his stimulation wa not directly to my genitals. Maybe just stroking my hand, thigh, arm... Kissing me. Hugging me. Playing with my nipples. Whispering dirty things. I was ready to explode! But he kept backing off so I couldn't cum.

You might try something like that with a partner.

And I hate to say this as I don't drink but... Have you tried alcohol? I was with a guy recently who came fast. We couldn't fuck because he came before we got to that point.

Then he had a beer. We fooled around for two hours. It wasn't all stimulation to him. He played with me and used toys. But... I think I sucked him 4 times and he also fucked my pussy and ass. Seems like the beer worked!

 

[NightL]

You display that you are willing to try things which is great.

The advice I offer is to see a sex therapist. Seek advice and guidance from those who are trained to assist the areas you seek to improve.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/sex-therapy/about/pac-20384613

https://www.healthline.com/health/sex-therapy

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/what-does-sex-therapist-do

 

[jehoram]

You should also consider cannabis if it's legal in your area.* Depending on the strain, it can help you re-focus your urges for a little while. I can't recommend a particular strain because there's no real correlation between specific people and the effects of that strain. You'll have to experiment a little bit.

*Even if it's not a completely legal state like California, it's possible to get a prescription for pot in many states. And the prescribing doctor will probably just take your word for it that you need it. You can always say that it's for something like pain control, since they don't have any diagnostic tool for how much pain you might be in.

 

[CuttingEdge]

I have a difficult time orgasming again immediately after orgasming, but with a little stimulation, I can after an hour or two.

When I am going on a hot date with my wife, to allow me to last longer in the bedroom later, she will give me a handjob, footjob, or blowjob before leaving. During the date, I get turned on because she will usually wear something that is a turn on for me. But when we get home I can really last forever, because we "took the edge off" before we left.

You can do the same thing before any date, and just "take the edge off" via your own means...

 

[jehoram]

When I am going on a hot date with my wife, to allow me to last longer in the bedroom later, she will give me a handjob, footjob, or blowjob before leaving.

My dirty mind is already envisioning a scenario where, just before you leave, she lets you cum into her bra cups. Then you know she's wearing your cum on her breasts the whole evening.

Gotta go spank the monkey now.

 

[thebeesknees]

I’d like to suggest that you try Priligy. I have had PE for most of my life and I want to say it changed my endurance time greatly. It is something you need to take on a continuous basis before sex however it passes through your system fairly fast ( 4-6 hours) and I find that as you use it the effect becomes more pronounced. I usually take a 60mg tablet. Look it up on the internet and maybe give it a try. Not to expensive either...good luck to you!!

 

[naughtymind]

Technique before drugs

I don’t know that any of us internet therapists can really get to the bottom of your issues, so the advice to see a therapist is probably best. Before you go though, it would be worth experimenting a bit with technique first. Probably best solo at first. Have you tried edging; stimulation then backing off every time you start to feel close? Sometimes it’s also crucial to think of something not sexy or stimulating if you are super close. Learning to understand your orgasm response is key, know when to ease off, when to go for the gusto, and when you’ve gone past the point of no return. If you are able to prolong your masturbation then try the same things with a partner.

It sounds like self confidence is a big factor here too, so ideally while engaged in solo play you are also using your successes there to boost your self confidence too. If that isn’t helping then definitely go see a doctor. Personally, I wouldn’t even entertain using any drugs or even props until you have some better sense of what works physically and psychologically for you. Good luck

 

[thebeesknees]

Nothing improved my self confidence more than trying Priligy and noticing that it helped me last longer. Sounds like you’ve tried many different things as did I. Priligy hands down worked for me!! I’m no Dr. and probably no one commenting here is I’m just sharing what worked for me and as a bonus it is compatible with Cialis or Viagra they even make Cialis and Viagra combined with Priligy. Google Priligy and read the results and tests, kind of dry reading but you can see the reviews and maybe understand that it seems to work and has been recommended for PE.

 

[thebeesknees]

Any new thoughts or suggestions today??

 

[Willy_Cum_Shakespeare]

I dont really bust too quick, but when I want to last longer I do what some previous commentors have said.

I will either get the first nut out of the way. Usually I will have my wife give me a blowjob, she keeps going a little longer after I finish, I'm usually still hard, but if not, eating her pussy gets me back in the mood then I can last forever. Or I just drink a bunch of alchohal and I can last forever. Also I found that I last longer when she is riding me, if I'm doing the thrusting I usually cum faster.

As for the small penis idk about that, maybe take some pills? But try to stay in shape, excersize, eat healthy, and shave/trim your pubes. Having a smaller stomach and no pubes at least makes the cock look bigger, good luck!

 

[Carnevil9]

Have you tried wearing a condom? That can desensitize you. Have your lover put it on you as part of the foreplay.

 

[jehoram]

Have you tried wearing a condom? That can desensitize you. Have your lover put it on you as part of the foreplay.

In fact, there used to be condoms that had a desensitizing cream on the inside. I tried them once with my girlfriend. It did the job, I guess, but it was really strange fucking with a numb dick.

 

[JessicaBower]

First of all, alcohol dulls the feeling very well. My husband and I have sex for a very long time after a bottle of wine. Then there are special lubricants with anesthesia, you can try the same. My husband and I tried a bunch of different ways. Once when I was sitting with my friends they recommended a website to me https://viamanreview.com/best-products-prevent-premature-ejaculation/ where we found the product that suits us perfectly. My husband and I like not to use condoms and this preparation helps us to get as much pleasure as possible. I advise you to start having a consultation with your doctor and not make any hasty decisions because everyone has different health and reactions to certain medications.

 

[CTim]

Some things I've tried over the years:

-Go for round two. Most can last significantly longer the second or third time. This could be multiple rounds of intercourse or blowjob followed by sex.

- Penis sleeves. These may not help the first time or two as they might provide enough excitement to overcome the decrease in sensation.

-Embrace it. Something like 50-60% of women rarely or never orgasm from intercourse alone anyway. It's a large false narrative that most women want you to bang the hell out of them for 15 or 20 minutes or more. My wife, who never Os from plain intercourse, gets frustrated and sometimes sore if I go more than three or four minutes. She feels like she's let me down. Don't worry, I always take care of her first. Find one of these women.

 

[pplwatching]

I suggest seeing a urologist for possible solutions to the mechanics of your issue, and second the idea of a sex therapist to address the emotional/mental aspects of how it has affected and will continue to affect your self confidence and relationships.

According to my urologist, the drawbacks of numbing creams is that some level of sensation is required to maintain an erection for any length of time. Anesthetics can cause you to lose your erection and getting any on your partner can cause her to lose sensation. Not having tried one, I assume that a penis sleeve that deprives you of sensation might also lead to erection problems.

Most importantly, I'd strongly suggest talking to a potential partner about it, no matter how embarrassing. The biggest sex organ is the brain. You may find that she is open to other ways to satisfy each other and is willing to find ways to play that work for both of you.

Best

 

[jehoram]

Anesthetics can cause you to lose your erection and getting any on your partner can cause her to lose sensation.

That's why the condoms I tried had the anesthetic just on the inside. My GF had no complaints about sensation or lack of it.

 

[Beneaththesurface]

Im 48 and Ive had this problem for as long as I can remember. Its embarrassing, and has destroyed relationships Ive had. My sex life is miserable. Im lucky in that Ive been told Im very good at giving a woman oral. But I want to be able to last longer. Ive tried Viagra. Ive tried cock rings. It also doesnt help that Im not the biggest. So being small, and quick just isnt working. Im just at a loss. I dont wanna be sexless the rest of my life. What can I do? The internet just shows me fantasy cures. What can an average person do to overcome this?

I realize that there are many causes for PE but this is my story and how mine was unintentionally cured.

I’ve struggled with PE pretty much all of my life. I would estimate that I would last on average of one to three minutes most of the time. I’ve tried all the suggestions above, sometimes they would help a little and sometimes not. I’ve struggled with this for most of my almost twenty-five year great marriage.

Our sex life was good and she never really complained or even mentioned my inability to perform marathon sessions. It bothered me though as I’ve always felt that I was denying her of this. The harder I would try to last longer the quicker I would cum. That all changed unexpectedly.

As pretty much all couples do, we recently fell into a brief rut. With the typical stresses of life and the everyday routine sex started becoming less and less frequent. Sometimes only happening once a month.

Finally the conversation came up about us having less and less sex. There were some other reasons (which I won’t go into detail here) but this is the kicker. It was hard and embarrassing but somehow I got the courage to tell her about my concerns and that a lot of the times I don’t even try because we just get started and I’m done and I feel I will leave her unfulfilled. I let her know that this has bother me our entire marriage. Surprisingly, she assured me that it didn’t bother her at all and that I do satisfy her whether I last two minutes or two hours. That just us being intimate was enough to satisfy her.

Since this conversation (over four months ago ) I’ve not once had this issue and we’ve begun having sex an average of three to four times a week. I pretty much can control when I want to cum now and we’ve even had sessions easily lasting thirty minutes to an hour. My confidence is so much better and I've been giving her multiple orgasms. So I basically think this was in my head the whole time causing my issues. Maybe this is what they call performance anxiety? I so much wish that we would have talked about this years and years ago.

Hope this can help you and others.