How many keep a journal?

[dragonlace]

How many of you or your submissives keep a journal?

I got one for christmas and am just wondering how one getws started? Is it something you write everyday or only when you have something to say? Is it just for your thoughts obout your progression or emotions? What do you find yourself writing?

I have been trying to keep a small journal but have only written in it a couple of times before recieving my new one and i wonder whether i will use it for my thoughts or for my poems and drawings as well as stories, my hopes and fears or my fantasies?

Just wanted to know what others think and do in theirs?

 

[A Desert Rose]

.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have kept a journal since before we met, at his instruction, and for his reading and my thoughts. It remains a point of contention as no matter how much I see and appreciate the advantages, and at times am compelled to pour my feelings and thoughts out in it, I hate doing it more often than not. I have to write in it daily, a minimum of 5-10 lines (sometimes it becomes pages a day, sometimes one line is an almost impossible task), and presented to him at an assigned time.

I think the best option for you would be to ask your Dominant what he wants you to use it for, whether it is formal or informal, how often and when it is to available for him to read, or whether he is going to read it. Some want it just for your own personal use.

For me, though it at first seemed simple enough, it has become difficult. I attempt to use it as he intends and instructs by including my deepest fears, thoughts, and feelings, no matter how I think they will affect him or i. There are times when writing in it leaves me severly upset...fortunately he usually reads it then and there if it is not the day designated so we can deal with the issues. I also have difficulty if I am required to write about something which has caused us difficulty but has been dealt with...is often like re-opening a semi healed wound.

Catalina

 

[dragonlace]

I have kept a journal since before we met, at his instruction, and for his reading and my thoughts. It remains a point of contention as no matter how much I see and appreciate the advantages, and at times am compelled to pour my feelings and thoughts out in it, I hate doing it more often than not. I have to write in it daily, a minimum of 5-10 lines (sometimes it becomes pages a day, sometimes one line is an almost impossible task), and presented to him at an assigned time.

I think the best option for you would be to ask your Dominant what he wants you to use it for, whether it is formal or informal, how often and when it is to available for him to read, or whether he is going to read it. Some want it just for your own personal use.

For me, though it at first seemed simple enough, it has become difficult. I attempt to use it as he intends and instructs by including my deepest fears, thoughts, and feelings, no matter how I think they will affect him or i. There are times when writing in it leaves me severly upset...fortunately he usually reads it then and there if it is not the day designated so we can deal with the issues. I also have difficulty if I am required to write about something which has caused us difficulty but has been dealt with...is often like re-opening a semi healed wound.

Catalina

Thanks so much catalina that gives me a little bit more insight and i guess we will discuss it a little bit before i begin

 

[Princessintrng]

One of my areas for improvement

I keep swearing I am going to keep a journal and I have 3 or 4 sitting around here. I usually start out real good and then it falls to the wayside. I am hoping to start again at the first of the year and stick with it this time. It is really a wonderful way to relax and explore yourself, I enjoy it when I am doing it, but then seem to find excuses to not continue. Maybe a mental block I should explore there

 

[redelicious]

I kept a journal for awhile. If I remember it was as much my idea as his. The purpose was so that I could have a place to jot down whatever I was trying to work through. He didn't feel the need to read it, though it was available for him to read at anytime. He basically trusted me that I was doing it.

I was pretty deligent about it for awhile. Funny, as our relationship was ending I started slacking off. I just recently started another one completely on my own. We'll see how it goes.

 

[dragonlace]

I kept a journal for awhile. If I remember it was as much my idea as his. The purpose was so that I could have a place to jot down whatever I was trying to work through. He didn't feel the need to read it, though it was available for him to read at anytime. He basically trusted me that I was doing it.

I was pretty deligent about it for awhile. Funny, as our relationship was ending I started slacking off. I just recently started another one completely on my own. We'll see how it goes.

good luck red i hope it goes well for you!

 

[TigerClaw]

This thread amazes me.

I think this is a wonderful way to communicate to each other. Sometimes I can see it being easier to express your feelings on paper good or bad in order to share them. When the bad feelings are brought up does this help heal those concerns and bring you closer together?

Please explain. This seems to have such great possibilities.

 

[Princessintrng]

Re: This thread amazes me.

I think this is a wonderful way to communicate to each other. Sometimes I can see it being easier to express your feelings on paper good or bad in order to share them. When the bad feelings are brought up does this help heal those concerns and bring you closer together?

Please explain. This seems to have such great possibilities.

My journal was available for him to read and I found it easier to express my feelings of inadequacy and my fears on paper then to voice them. He felt it was easier to understand me by being able to read what I was feeling and then he was better able to address it with me and making me vocalize, this was a great insight for both of us.

 

[cutedemon]

I keep a small journal that I carry EVERYWHERE. Generally just my thoughts and feelings. I just started it so I will probably include fantasies. I only let Him read the parts I want him to, it's mostly for my edification. I PM him anything of real interest though.

 

[BlueSugar]

I open mine and write.

whatever is on my mind , goes onto the page. If its a "to do " list of what i have to do or did in the day I write it... if it is some mind fuck brain thing i write it... if its a story or poem... on the page.

i guess i go with stream of consciousness with mine.

 

[D's mariposa]

I sort of keep a journal, lately it's fallen by the way side. I did it before I met D, so he has never asked me to start one specifically for him. We have discussed whether or not it was an open book to him, and it was interesting.

Basically, I have no secrets. When he needs to know something, I try to tell him. Sometimes when I have been really confused, or upset or unable to verbalise my thoughts, I have to ask him to table the discussion for a bit because I can't express myself adeqetely.

The thing is, my journal is where I vent. I scream and holler (metaphorically speaking ) I express everything I can, rather badly sometimes, debate with myself, flip flop on majopr issues. Since a great many things are written in the heat of anger or some other passionette emotion, it doesn't always make sense or give an accurate picture of my current state of mind.

D asked me once if I would be able to give him free access to it. I told him that it would be hard for me; I view it as a free zone where I can express myself warts and all, and I was at that time insecure enough to have a problem with it. If I knew that he was going to be reading it, I was afraid that I would be censoring myself too much for a journal to be any good. I was afraid that he would see what a petty little bitch I can be sometimes and not want me anymore. I also had a problem with the fact the Sperm Donor once read my journal (I was about 9 at the time) and I was once punished severely for something that he read there. And it was a really really stupid something. Now that I am more secure with myself and D's love for me, it would probably be easier for him to read it.

 

[TigerClaw]

Basically, I have no secrets. When he needs to know something, I try to tell him. Sometimes when I have been really confused, or upset or unable to verbalise my thoughts, I have to ask him to table the discussion for a bit because I can't express myself adeqetely.

The thing is, my journal is where I vent. I scream and holler (metaphorically speaking ) I express everything I can, rather badly sometimes, debate with myself, flip flop on majopr issues. Since a great many things are written in the heat of anger or some other passionette emotion, it doesn't always make sense or give an accurate picture of my current state of mind.

You brought up a very good point. Having a safe place or private place. I never believed that one needed a "private" place but life does show you that there are times where you need a place to recoup, regroup and just be alone with your thoughts. Sometime physically alone.

As long as it is really private I see no problem with it. The one major expereince I had with this was where it was private from me and public to many other people. Had I been aware of the problems I could have done something to fix them.

I am open and honest with the woman in my life. Once that trust is there I can tell her anything, all is open to her. I expect the same in return.

The most important part of what you said is that you try to communcate what you are feeling. If you cant you wait till you can. Communication is a must in any relationship. Being compassionate about your partners feelings is also important.

 

[MastrJ]

I have several notebooks in which I write story ideas and other things. When the mood takes me I'll use it to write my feelings or to help me with my thought process. It's not something I will usually let other people read, though I have shared some of the things I've written with my sub. I would be hurt if someone read what I had written without my permission, but if it's something I really don't want anyone to ever read, I write it in German. My handwriting combined with a foreign language should defeat all but the most determined prying eyes.

 

[s'lara]

i don't see a problem with keeping a journal. There are times when it is easier to put down on paper what you're feeling than it is to say it outright. Can lead to some insightful exchanges between the Dominant and the sub/slave.

i've done it myself and found it useful in organizing my thoughts when i was at my most jumbled.

Good luck with the new journal lacey. One word of advice, make it a place where you are honest on a consistent basis. Your feelings and thoughts won't be judged ... so don't censor what put in it. You might surprise yourself.

lara

 

[dragonlace]

Thank you everyone for your valuable insights i really appreciate it. It has given me quite a few ideas......i tend to agree about the writing it down theory......I have a hard time vocalizing what i need or want or what i have problems with but when i write it all down and give it to Him i tend to feel so much better just having gotten it out and it just seems to flow so much easier onto paper than it does when coming from my mouth.

 

[morninggirl5]

A daily journal is the ultimate in distasteful chores for me. I'd almost say it's worse than cleaning bathrooms. Until i've completely worked something through in my mind and know what i want to say from beginning to end, it's impossible for me to write anything.

I do prefer to communicate through an e-mail or letter first and then i'm much more comfortable discussing issues, but i don't initiate those discussions until it's 100% exactly what i'm trying to say.

 

[lizzie anne]

journals?

i am unsure exactly,.........how to,.......answer.

i kinda do have a journal/diary thing.......but i kinda dont.

i would have-to-have someone's definition.....to answer correctly.

my writing entails only major things.....i am not about to write silly day to day things cause i dont have-a-life, per se.
most i hear of,........99% is females......and male doms.
being born bio male/,,,,,i am not on the same emotional level the girls are.....
my outlook/viewpoint/is one most people call unfeeling and negative.
i call it.......living in reality 24/7/365.....
i call it total--- here you are this is the world....outlook!
its my ''street level'' outlook.....no b.s.--no fantasies/no lovey dovey smootchie poo/no sex.....i have no vices now that i quit smoking after 40 yrs..........etc etc etc
my life is bland bland bland........no i aint bitchin'
just my facts.....as i see it. any who way?.......
just that i only write down some major event......
so i have very little to write down.......especially given the fact i am with my Ma'am 24/7/365......i am seldom ever more n 3 foot away from Her at any given time........its just how it is here..and being so?.......i talk to Her constantly......so i have nothing TO write down anyway........ya know??????

i am sorry about the novel here.....i got carried away...
just felt it important to give background.....
i apologize if i hurt anyones feelings.......



lizzie.......

 

[Mr. Bootie]

I've never kept a jounal.

I wish I had, for there are some experiences that I would have liked to have written down. It's a good thing that she has a good memory.

 

[shaymless]

Just as an idea...if you're "stuck" as to what to write or if you're having a blah kind of day and nothing is inspiring (or uninspiring) to have words...there are lots and lots of web sites that have journaling prompts. Sometimes just starting on one thought can lead to others and that journey is often the most interesting.

I also have a difficult time thinking of others reading my journal and on the occasions where I've known it would be read, have written for my audience rather than for myself.

Over the years, I've also become more comfortable with the speed of my typing and have found it easier to keep an online journal. Again, there are lots of places to keep a free one and the site I use allows me to password my journal so only I have access to it unless I choose to share.

Just some thoughts
shay

 

[BrightFlower]

I have kept a journal for years and years. Journaling is a wonderful creative and personal outlet for me. But, it's only for ME.

 

[thegreenfairy]

I love keeping a journal... I include whatever I want, from the sexual to the mundane. Reading over certain parts can send shivers of pleasure down my spine...

 

[Zaudika]

I've kept a journal since I was a child... something I grew up doing in my family.
As time has gone on I've used my journals for various things. Random thoughts, pictures, talk about my day, talk about my life. Really you just put whatever you feel into it, thats the joy of having one.
I used to also keep one for my Dom, and in that case it depends on the relationship, whether he's wanting you to just write in it, or do specific assignments. For me personally it was a mixture of both.
Funny enough at one point I had three journals going. They can be very theraputic.

 

[esclave_PP]

I have done both online and offline journaling for years. I enjoy it because I like to reread it long time later. Master has me keep my thoughts online as well (those interested you can email if you want) and I should update the one online to have more current entries. I still find getting a special book with blank pages, a favorite pen and a comfy chair make the best situation for journaling. Im so sorry to hear it is such a chore for you catalina -- I wonder if there was another way to approach it so it wasn't such a chore.

But getting started just let your mind go and the pen or the fingers start!

Here is a link to get you started about journaling (like Etoile I love and adore google):

http://www.spies.com/~diane/journals.html

 

[catalina_francisco]

Im so sorry to hear it is such a chore for you catalina -- I wonder if there was another way to approach it so it wasn't such a chore.

But getting started just let your mind go and the pen or the fingers start!

Here is a link to get you started about journaling (like Etoile I love and adore google):

http://www.spies.com/~diane/journals.html

It only is a chore because I attempt to be totally honest and open, an sort of dredging of the soul. In some circumstances, being an emotional being, this can become torture of the unpleasant kind more than a fun task to complete. It is not light and airy, but a delving into the depths of thoughts, emotions, fears, perceptions, past experiences, etc., all of which take a huge emotional toll, especially if there has been an issue we have recently worked through and then I have to resurrect the still raw emoitions to record it in a journal form. It is like opening a wound which had begun to heal, scouring it out, and then trying to reseal it without pain...it doesn't work that way. I have read quite a few online versions and find them very on the surface, relatively light compared to the depths I get to and am expected to explore and expose.

Catalina