How do you like to be spanked?

[SimonDoom]

Don’t be too hard on yourself - where would the rest of us be without someone who liked to flagellate as much as we liked receiving? I guess the question should be turned for you (and all others like you): how do you like to give someone a spanking?

Oh, good question. I've tried with bare hands, wooden paddles, and crops. Each provides a different kind of pleasure.

The hand is the most intimate, by far, and provides better feedback. When I spank a woman with my hand I have a much better idea exactly how hard I'm spanking than if I'm using an instrument. There's also the pleasure of leaving a handmark on the partner's bottom. The downside of a hand is that I'm probably more likely to pull up a bit and not deliver as strong a blow as I might, precisely because I'm more likely to feel what my partner feels.

Paddles make a great noise, and deliver a very satisfying feeling. Paddles recall school-age paddlings, which is great if the partner is dressed up like a school girl. Paddles are good for role play. I've probably had the most success delivering exactly the right level of blow for her satisfaction and mine using a paddle.

Crops are the most fetishy and kinkiest, because they were not meant to be used on humans. I like the sound they make. Crops can be used effectively on body parts other than the bottom, as well. I enjoy the visual aspect of pain play, and using a crop allows me to stand back and enjoy the sight better.

So I do not have a favorite. Each is pleasurable in a different way.

 

[SophieUK]

Oh, good question. I've tried with bare hands, wooden paddles, and crops. Each provides a different kind of pleasure.

The hand is the most intimate, by far, and provides better feedback. When I spank a woman with my hand I have a much better idea exactly how hard I'm spanking than if I'm using an instrument. There's also the pleasure of leaving a handmark on the partner's bottom. The downside of a hand is that I'm probably more likely to pull up a bit and not deliver as strong a blow as I might, precisely because I'm more likely to feel what my partner feels.

Paddles make a great noise, and deliver a very satisfying feeling. Paddles recall school-age paddlings, which is great if the partner is dressed up like a school girl. Paddles are good for role play. I've probably had the most success delivering exactly the right level of blow for her satisfaction and mine using a paddle.

Crops are the most fetishy and kinkiest, because they were not meant to be used on humans. I like the sound they make. Crops can be used effectively on body parts other than the bottom, as well. I enjoy the visual aspect of pain play, and using a crop allows me to stand back and enjoy the sight better.

So I do not have a favorite. Each is pleasurable in a different way.

Terrific answer

 

[Meduus]

Hmm
I love a variety of things...
Hands, floggers, canes, singletails
But noooo,paddles!
Sharp pain for me thank you!

 

[ChristopherDB]

There has to be a paddle. It adds a certain level of excitement for me. A ping pong paddle is my favorite to be spanked with because the way my wife swats me, it hurts just right to be real, yet not so much that I can't take a long session.

I am always naked for my spanking. Usually I just bend over the edge of the bed, but being over her knee, especially when she wears a pvc dominatrix dress and I can feel that pvc on my cock it is an intense thrill.

After a long spanking she will finish it off with a few swats with a schoolhouse style paddle that I made from plywood, complete with rows of holes. While it is an exciting paddle, I can only handlle a few swats with that.

Sex follows afterwards. The spanking is always foreplay and not punishment.

 

[switchersm]

How to be spanked

Naked, on all fours at the end of our bed. cock caged.
Wife uses two riding crops, three differnt paddles /leather and wood), a thick woodden stick and a cane. Beats are minimum 50 on each ass cheek, mostly more between 150 - 200. With paddles and riding crops she also beats my balls.
After the spanking she demands immediately my tongue in her pussy

 

[eroticspank]

Oral after OTK

Naked, on all fours at the end of our bed. cock caged.
Wife uses two riding crops, three differnt paddles /leather and wood), a thick woodden stick and a cane. Beats are minimum 50 on each ass cheek, mostly more between 150 - 200. With paddles and riding crops she also beats my balls.
After the spanking she demands immediately my tongue in her pussy

I enjoy being spanked and doing the spanking. After being spanked....even if it is a fairly hard spanking...I most often find myself aroused and erect. BUT I wonder why after being spanked I am so strongly drawn to pleasing her orally? I understand, especially in an OTK situation, and being on sexy smooth legs so close to her pussy etc that can cause arousal. However, I don't think about fucking, getting a BJ or HJ, mostly I think about pleasing her orally.

ES

 

[Kupkake92]

I am a hand person myself.

 

[alabasterbreasts]

Hand person myself. I like the intimacy and the fact it is readily available.
A short swift swat on the ass cheeks or tits ... okay maybe more than one and I am in heaven.

 

[phil1955]

Question for spankees. Does it affect your enjoyment if the spanker does not totally enjoy giving the spanking. This is something my wife wanted to try and we have only done it a few times. There are a number of very pleasant aspects. A bare bottom on my lap for one. However my focus is on doing something she wants rather than satisfying my desire. I certainly don’t mind doing it but would it be more satisfying for her if I were totally into it?

 

[Mtnmike]

Question for spankees. Does it affect your enjoyment if the spanker does not totally enjoy giving the spanking. This is something my wife wanted to try and we have only done it a few times. There are a number of very pleasant aspects. A bare bottom on my lap for one. However my focus is on doing something she wants rather than satisfying my desire. I certainly don’t mind doing it but would it be more satisfying for her if I were totally into it?

I like to know the answer to this myself, I'm inexperienced at this.

 

[AnnieLit]

Question for spankees. Does it affect your enjoyment if the spanker does not totally enjoy giving the spanking. This is something my wife wanted to try and we have only done it a few times. There are a number of very pleasant aspects. A bare bottom on my lap for one. However my focus is on doing something she wants rather than satisfying my desire. I certainly don’t mind doing it but would it be more satisfying for her if I were totally into it?

It would be better for her if you were into it, but that's not something you can change. In time you might start to enjoy it more for your own sake, or you might not. I don't think you or anybody else have much control over both when and if.

One thing will though change with time and experience -- you will get better at it. Every time you give it a go you will learn something new. Does she like it fast or slow? How much of a build-up? Higher or lower? Over the knee? Bent over the bed? Retrained? You counting up? She counting down? Metronome for tempo? I mean, even when it is just a hand there are still many variations.

Plus, you will learn to read her body better. You will know when to slow down, to let her cool a bit, when to speed up and bring on more for a while. The better you become at spanking, the better it will be for her no matter if you enjoy it for her sake or for your own.

 

[eroticspank]

It would be better for her if you were into it, but that's not something you can change. In time you might start to enjoy it more for your own sake, or you might not. I don't think you or anybody else have much control over both when and if.

One thing will though change with time and experience -- you will get better at it. Every time you give it a go you will learn something new. Does she like it fast or slow? How much of a build-up? Higher or lower? Over the knee? Bent over the bed? Retrained? You counting up? She counting down? Metronome for tempo? I mean, even when it is just a hand there are still many variations.

Plus, you will learn to read her body better. You will know when to slow down, to let her cool a bit, when to speed up and bring on more for a while. The better you become at spanking, the better it will be for her no matter if you enjoy it for her sake or for your own.

Wow! Great comments here^ I think the only thing I would add is it depends how you are wired to whether you will eventually like it or not.

I am wired such that IF my partner likes it and really gets into it, I will like it too. Now that does not mean I will always just jump right in and do something I am not normally into for her. BUT as I experience her discussions/talk of how it turns her on/why...and watch her reactions to it...and as I get better at it like mentioned above and see her enjoy it...finds me becoming more drawn into something I never thought I would have enjoyed because of her obvious enjoyment.

ES

 

[Nodi]

Absolutely Love your rules. I like to dress like my sissy self and be used by my partner or partners (plural). Can I be your Sissy?

 

[KimGordon67]

Interesting reading here. Wife has some interest but my thinking is that at our ages 65 and 62, severe spanking will be problematic. What someone can do at 40 or even 50 starts to become a problem in the 60’s with aging skin. One bruises more readily and the skin splits easily. While wife and I are not too bad at this point, we will soon be getting there. It would be interesting to hear from someone with experience or A work around.

I concur with Annie - hands, not an implement, and bruises are GOOD. I'm a big fan of evidence.

 

[phil1955]

I concur with Annie - hands, not an implement, and bruises are GOOD. I'm a big fan of evidence.

So far we have stayed with my hand but am thinking a riding crop would be useful for reach and light taps. I think I am starting to get my head around a concept that will work for us. The spanking includes a lot of foreplay between series of spanks which I enjoy immensely. So I focus on enjoying the foreplay parts while providing the right intensity for her desires. There is some pressure to make sure I am reading her properly but I am confident that she will speak up if I am off. So far we have not hit her limit but she is agreeable to gradual increases and see where it leads.

 

[DVS]

Question for spankees. Does it affect your enjoyment if the spanker does not totally enjoy giving the spanking. This is something my wife wanted to try and we have only done it a few times. There are a number of very pleasant aspects. A bare bottom on my lap for one. However my focus is on doing something she wants rather than satisfying my desire. I certainly don’t mind doing it but would it be more satisfying for her if I were totally into it?

Of course, if both partners are into the whole play thing, it can be much more enjoyable. Sometimes it can become a labor for one partner, if they are just going along with what their partner wants. It's best not to get in to a rut like that.

But, talking things over and letting your partner know what you enjoy of the whole spanking thing can bring out more desires from your partner that maybe they hadn't ever thought of. The mind is an interesting thing. Many people find out about these little kinky aspects of sex later in life and it's often a learning experience for one, if not both partners.

So, talking about what you like and what you don't like can be beneficial, for sure. Maybe you want to add some consequence to the process, that your partner knows will be coming, if that line is crossed. Maybe bondage is what you need, to help you enjoy that squirming body across your lap. Bondage is great, because you can take your time and make the whole spanking process last for a long time.

If you use this as foreplay before sex, alternating between spanks and tormenting her pussy with your finger, you can drive her over the wall. She might ask to be fucked, but you can say, "no, you need this spanking and you're going to get it", or something to that end.

Everybody is different. You could be amazed at how something so small can become a major part of your sexual spanking. And if you are both new to this, maybe watch some videos together, and comment on what you both like and don't like...positions, implements, comments by both actors, etc. Even how the spankee's body moves when the hand smacks her naked ass can be quite enjoyable.

Also, roll playing can be fun. If you don't feel like the spanking is fitting into your desires as it is now, maybe creating some kind of roll play where your wife has to humiliate herself in some way, or pleasure you in some way, to get you into the mood.

Maybe a blow job with her hands bound behind her back and if she doesn't do a good job, in your opinion (or course, she'll never do a good job ) she must be spanked. Then, you give her another try at satisfying you with a blow job. Again, she fails and again she goes over your lap. Eventually, you can end this however you want, but if you aren't into spanking that much, this could maybe be a way to get you into the spanking mood.

And any time you want, you can take her and fuck her brains out. Only you will know when the time is right. I personally like fucking a freshly spanked woman doggie style, so I can look at that red behind and feel the heat of it, when I go deep into her.

Your mileage may vary, but these are just some pointers to think about. I hope I've maybe tweaked your desires a little bit, and I hope your wife appreciates my input.

 

[eroticspank]

And any time you want, you can take her and fuck her brains out. Only you will know when the time is right. I personally like fucking a freshly spanked woman doggie style, so I can look at that red behind and feel the heat of it, when I go deep into her.

I hope I've maybe tweaked your desires a little bit, and I hope your wife appreciates my input.

Very Nice discussion and this^ above is amazing. Doggie is a great position after a good spanking.

ES

 

[phil1955]

Some good suggestions here. Watching some videos might be helpful. We do find browsing some threads here very useful . Wife dabbles in drawing and painting and is drawn to artistic images. There are several threads where she finds the pictures to be erotic but also somewhat artistic. Watching her reaction to some pictures gives me ideas to try and see if she enjoys. Some of the bondage, the spread eagle, control, and the oral thread pictures catch her interest. If nothing else we are finding ways to extend and diversify foreplay and in turn increasing arousal. I doubt we will ever build our own dungeon but we do have a list of toys to purchase when we go shopping. We are enjoying the exploration. Not sure how far we will go and there is no specific goal we need to reach. To use a cliche, it is all about the journey not the destination. We really appreciate the input here. I have been reading a lot of articles but it is nice to hear from someone who has been there, done that.

 

[HCurious26]

Very erotic! I'd love to find a lady who likes a bit of that now and then.

 

[Enchanted_Dream218]

I like to be spanked depending on the partner I'm with. Usually by the hand. Not aggressively, but spanked just enough where they'll get a reaction out of me. I've never been a fan of whips though.

 

[CottonCandy29]

I just love a firm, open-handed spank. It's electrifying.

 

[phil1955]

The hand seems to be preferred by most women and that is all we have done so far. I am thinking a riding crop would be useful for reach. Just to be used gently to tease and remind. I would think a light tap on a pinkish bottom could provide an interesting sensation.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Given a slow build-up, I'll take practically anything, but I have a preference for heavy, thudding sensations (heel of the hand, a fist, a flogger, a fat cane) and I'm a complete wuss when it comes to stinging sensations like the tip of a crop, a flick of a bendy cane, etc. But any implement can be wielded to provide gentle but firm taps that increase in severity.

If it gets hard to take, providing pleasure with one hand and pain with the other is the ultimate intense mind-bending experience...

 

[eroticspank]

If it gets hard to take, providing pleasure with one hand and pain with the other is the ultimate intense mind-bending experience...

Very good point!

ES

 

[phil1955]

Interesting. I have alternated but never tried simultaneously.