How Do You Feel About Kids

[RedStorm]

I don't have children and I'm wondering how many of you out there don't and why?
I chose not to have kids because of my career. Then I got divorced and was happy I didn't have children. Now that I'm getting older and have no close family ties I'm wondering if I missed out and made the wrong choice.

 

[hotNnasty]

Sorry to say I think you did miss out on alot. Can't imagine my life without mine.

 

[Guest]

 

[Earl]

kids

I have 3 kids 2 girls and a boy. They are trying at times but there is no greater joy in life. To share and pass on life experiences is one of the purposes of our existance. I do understand your choice not to have kids, but I believe you have missed out on a very rewarding experience. I witnessed the birth of my kids and I can say it was the greatest moment in my life. Nothing can compare with the birthing experience.

 

[kristydoll]

I also can't imagine not having kids (I have 3)....but am open to discussions on renting them out (when they are driving me nuts *grins*)

kristy

 

[mignon]

how do you feel about kids

I don't have any kids-never wanted any. I don't regret not having had them. They're probably a lot of people that wish they didn't, but wouldn't admit it. I've spoken to women that say if they had it to do over, they wouldn't have them.

 

[Hotred911]

You still can be a great uncle, friend, even a mentor. You can bring the joy of children into your life without actually having them.

I agree. Just because you didn't have your own children doesn't mean you have to miss out on the joy they can bring. Plus you can always send them home when they start getting crabby. Parents can't do that.

 

[Laineforfun]

I agree with the others who have said they love having their children. I have two boys and they along with my husband are the joys of my life. For instance I always know that no matter how bad the day has treated me at work I can go home and be with the people who matter most and bring me joy

But I dont think you should regret the chioces you have made in your life. You dont have to have children to make your life complete. As long as you suround yourself with happiness and we all know what can bring you lots of happiness, right?????

Laine

 

[Guest]

Love kids -

We have two kids, one of each flavor, ages 4 and 7.

Can't imagine not having them here, it is a true joy to watch them learn and discover things that we adults thought we already knew!!

On the other hand, we have married friends who don't have children - they seem perfectly happy.

Don't think about what you may be missing out on - if you're happy - then you have made the right choice!

 

[RedStorm]

I have new neighbors down the street and I've been their babysitter on week-ends. When they don't go away I'm finding myself missing the kids knocking on the door with pillows in hand.
That's probably what got me thinking about it.

 

[absentminded]

I love kids and grew up with younguns all my life. I don't have kids because I have noone to have them with. Here's hoping that someone comes along soon though, I'm getting old.

 

[lovechild27]

I dont plan on having kids until after college...so at least 27. Have you ever thought aboutbeing a foster parent or adopting? I think that kids just arent for everyone.

 

[MR.GGG]

Owch!

Wow.... raw nerve there. Sue and I always kinda put it off. We always thought there'd be time later. Later didn't happen. A cerebral aneurysm happened instead.

I have often wondered if things would have been easier if we'd had kids and I HAD to focus on them after Sue. I don't know. Other times I thank God we didn't because the pain of losing a Mom for a kid is probably worse than what I felt and I feel relieved they never had to endure that. Sometimes I'm glad there are no wee oners around for a completely selfish reason - I think I would have gone insane if I'd had to look into a tiny pair of Sue's eyes day after day.

Sue's sister had kids. We helped raise them. Loved 'em like my own. Sue's sister couldn't deal with losing her and did what happens sometimes when you can't handle the grief - she got mad. Who do you get mad with when something like that happens? Who do you take it out on if you simply can't deal with the loss. Long story there but she picked the guy who was with her right at the end - the guy doing CPR and "feeling" her behind me already - gone! The guy who came to her door during a Christmas dinner and had to tell her that her sister had just dropped dead. Make a long story short I lost Sue AND her family including the two kids. I don't think they understand at all. Just that Mom HATES uncle (Mr.G) and I haven't seen them since the funeral.

Either way I'm alone now .... probably will be...too old and weird to be retrained methinks. Maybe in time. Doubt it tho. I'm not feeling sorry for myself but it does bother me that there'll be nobody around to miss me and nobody will even know I'm gone until the neighbors complain about the smell...

 

[Weird Harold]

Now that I'm getting older and have no close family ties I'm wondering if I missed out and made the wrong choice.

Like others who do have children, I couldn't imagine life without them. I'm curious as to just how old "getting older" is. Are you beyond the possibility of having children, or just "feeling your age?"

I'm now 53 and can't imagine taking on the resposibility of children now. I was 24 when my oldest was born and at that age, had "my whole life ahead of me" to enjoy children.

 

[vffan]

Both of my kids were "accidents" (and *yes*, I was on the pill both times) but I wouldn't trade them for the world! I had always wanted kids, but for various reasons it didn't seem I would have them. Then I resigned myself to this fact and got used to the idea and poof! There was my daughter, followed closely by my son. They bring me so much joy.

J

 

[ClubIrish]

I can't wait to be a parent, although I am not ready to have that responsibility yet, I look forward to the day I do. I too have always been around kids in some way or another and I can't imagine not having some of my own someday.

 

[huskie]

I have new neighbors down the street and I've been their babysitter on week-ends. When they don't go away I'm finding myself missing the kids knocking on the door with pillows in hand.
That's probably what got me thinking about it.

Sounds like you are ready? It's not an easier life but it is a better life... I think anyway?

 

[Chuckwrox]

Right Decision?

I don't deal well with dwelling on having made the WRONG decision. It was YOUR decision, which makes it the RIGHT decision. Maybe it wasn't the best decision, but it was the right one because you made it. It is the path you've chosen, it is the path you live with, and it is the path you should relish, regardless of the existence of more attractive paths or easier or more exciting paths. THIS is the one you are on, and because of that, I support you 100%.

Live life today with the decisions you've made, otherwise, you may suddenly find you've come to the end of the road with nothing but regrets. How sad that would be!

 

[Sabledrake]

I have one, a daughter. We hadn't intended on starting a family quite so soon, but a 'scare' got us thinking about it and we found that we really liked the idea of having a kid.

Stopping at one, though. Which is something that often gets us a bit of flack. From the time she was two until about five, I'd get regularly hit with questions about when I was going to have another.

Though, LOL, my mom did quit giving me a hard time about it once my sibs got into the act (my brother's got 4, my sister's got one on the way).

Sabledrake

 

[TAKEMEE]

Is Marriage in any further plans? I'm trying to remember the name of the movie star that became a mom at 52. I can't think of it right now. Not wanting to ask your age but if you're under 52 it looks like you can do it too

 

[Hairgrip]

i intend to wait as regards kids, am 22 and not married, not finacially secure enough, not emotionally mature enough. and besides, my partner wont let me.
thing i am trying to work out though is can you really 'have it all'? a career? kids? successful marriage? do i need to balence my life and decide which one takes precedence?
answers on a postcard please!
Hx

 

[peachykeen]

I almost can't wait anymore! I'm hoping withing the next year to 18 months. Mr Keen and I need to sort out a few minor details (like, oh, what continent we'll be living on this time next year, that sort of thing) but we are in our mid 30's now and I don't want to wait much longer. I get sooooo jealous everytime I see a pregnant woman, thinking "oooh look at that nice round baby belly" and I get all woozy everytime I see a groovy daddy with a wee one in a snuggli strapped to his chest.

Tick! Tick! Tick! (that was my ovaries just there...)

 

[Manhunter]

I had my one and only when I was to young. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't married the man I did. But then, I realize I wouldn't have the greatest son in the whole world So, I think some things are just meant to be no matter how many "what if's" you ask yourself.

 

[tx_countrygirl]

I have wanted children my whole life. My body just doesn't seem to agree. I am now 28 and feeling like my whole life has passed me by because all my friends have children and not me. But I am glad I haven't. I was in a horrible marriage and children would have suffered. Now I'm remarried to a wonderful man who wants to help me find out what's wrong so we can have them. I have never been happier.

I don't ever think you're really too old to have children. I have pondered this thought many nights. I think that when the time is right it will happen. So don't give up hope, there's always time. Good luck to you.

 

[littlecat]

I have one daughter at this time, and am planning on having another child in the next year or so. I wouldn't have changed a bit of my time with her so far for anything in the world! She has utterly changed the person I am. I never planned on having kids before I was thirty, and was going to concentrate on having a good career, and income, blah, blah, blah...

Long story short, I decided after the death of my father that I was wasting time, and that the only way I was ever going to teach someone about what it meant to me to be a family was to get going and have my own.. Although I made the decision firmly in my mind, I never even guessed at what I was in for.... I realize now that you never do.

I know a few people in long- term relationships that have not had kids, and are concentrating on other things. I respect their descisions and have never, EVER pressured anyone about having kids!! I hate people who are always asking "so when are you having another?" as others have said.. I know some folks that are "trying" that I don't think should be! And also a few that never should have in the first place, but it's too late to change things now.....

There are folks in situations similar to yours that do just fine. If you are really worried about losing out in a childs life then you can always volunteer for child or youth programs in your area, join the Big Brothers/ Big Sisters foundation or something similar, or even think seriously about foster care.. That way at least you know you would be making a difference without having to put all pressure on yourself about having kids you may not really want!

Good luck whatever you decide, even if you just keep on babysitting. You DO make a difference just by being there!!
L.