How do I....?

[cloudy]

I don't consider it a problem that I choose to stand by my values and seek a man with similar views. If the men I meet don't agree with me then it's their loss. I'm not losing any sleep over them.

That's not what I said.

Read it again.

I didn't say your "values" were the problem. I said that you are apparently choosing men who are inherently wrong for what you are wanting. That issue is yours, not theirs.

...and if you're not "losing any sleep" over them, then why are you whining here about it?

 

[LFO]

you're saying all that on the first date? I wouldn't call back either. It is fine to have those goals, and you don't have to lie...only one matters on the first date (is he married). The rest of them can be solved by a smile and a polite no. If he asks why not...THEN you speak up.

2nd'ed.

 

[infinity706]

I'm really not morally okay with having sex with a man that isn't my husband. It's just how I was raised and is a very important part of me. I'm not ever going to compromise that.

Well, I certainly wish you luck in that. It's certainly possible that you could marry as a virgin if it's that important to you. Just make sure that you fully understand that you're making a huge commitment without inspecting the quality of something that could wind up wrecking your marriage by itself. Afterall, marriage is about the level of commitment of buying a house. As long as you keep that in mind in your search, you might just get the results you want.

You probably still will have to deal with the asking for sex, though, unless you marry one of those guys from a country that prides virgins so highly you'll probably end up divorced/murdered if you don't bleed on your wedding night. I'm pretty sure you don't want to go quite that far.

 

[evanslily]

I usually try to date men around my age, but they're either married and looking to fool around or divorced with kids and just want a play mate. Which isn't what I want at all. So when they ask, I'm honest. Simple as that.

I think this is probably part of the problem. It's a cliche but it's at least partly true. By your age (if your profile is correct), many of the 'good' ones are taken. But not all of them. I think you just need to be a little more patient. It's hard, I know. And this is going to sound odd too--but sometimes it works to stop looking.

Seriously.

Sometimes the best partners come along when you least expect them...

 

[human_male]

Most guys are going to ask within the first few dates and if they don't chances are they're not really going to care enough to actually be worth fucking.

I can't be the only one who's prepared to wait to sleep with someone until she's ready out of respect for her. Does that make me not worth fucking? I don't understand.

But I've often wondered if I've waited too long to bring up the subject and women have got tired of waiting and moved on. Does that happen?

 

[infinity706]

I said "chances are." Certainly, there are exceptions, though.

Yes, I've had a few women give up on me, so I know it's possible. I even had one woman get more than a little upset because she asked me to drive her home from work and I didn't make a move on her. This was a woman that I'd never even dated and only flirted with a couple times. She was one of the exceptions, though.

 

[subwannabe]

Did I read that right, you're basically not going to have sex with anyone until after you are married? I respect your principles but you have got to realize that 95% of everyone has sex with their significant other before marriage. If this is actually your stance on the issue then you are definetly in the wrong dating pool. The avenues you are seeking will not find men who are willing to wait for sex until after marriage. You need to find a different dating pool such as your church or other such place. Even then probably 2/3 to 3/4 of the eligible men (and women) would expect to have sex with their significant other before marriage. Again, I respect your views but in return you have got to understand that you are looking for a needle in a haystack and you're not even looking in the right haystack. Maybe I read it wrong. In any event, I have read several of your posts here and I think you are a fine human being and I agree with you a lot and you deserve to find someone who will make you happy and share your values. Good luck.

 

[human_male]

I said "chances are." Certainly, there are exceptions, though.

Yes, I've had a few women give up on me, so I know it's possible. I even had one woman get more than a little upset because she asked me to drive her home from work and I didn't make a move on her. This was a woman that I'd never even dated and only flirted with a couple times. She was one of the exceptions, though.

I have much to learn. I thought they'd be happy to meet a guy who didn't immediately bring up the subject. That's what they all seem to complain about.

 

[emap]

Human it depends on the gal. Some really want to get a dick in them as often as possible until they are ready to settle down, which can never actually happen.

Some gals don't want any sex until they are married and then not from anyone else. Of course there are some who can't so no when asked.

The only way you can get ahead with a gal, or gals if you want to be Hugh Hefner is to be yourself, don't act differently just cause you think she's hot or anything else silly like that. Also if your looking for a long term relationship and your not finding it, take a look at who you are dating and figure out why just them.

There is a reason for that, when what you want does not match any of your dates over a long period, you need to change what type of person you will go out with because the type matters. Like I told tenchi, find one of those dating help books, the types are for the most part exactly as they put them. career first people usually won't be around much, bad boys/girls tend to sleep around alot etc etc

 

[infinity706]

I have much to learn. I thought they'd be happy to meet a guy who didn't immediately bring up the subject. That's what they all seem to complain about.

As hard as it might seem to believe, some women actually approach someone with the intent of fucking them. There are even women that like to do the one night stand thing. Of course, they tend to seek out those that they find super attractive and/or suspect/know that the person is a great fuck. Some others would prefer the whole weekend. (preferably an extra long weekend)

Also, emap, a large chunk of the women I've met that prefer casual sex want some pussy and almost all of them would fuck a chick even if they'd prefer cock.

Oh, and as for the settling down, one told me she promised herself she'd get married before she hit 100 current/former fuck buddies. I seriously doubt that unless she does something really extreme to prevent it since she's disgusted by anything that resembles the type of relationship that would lead to marriage.