How Do I get laid?

[BXGemini20]

I was just kidding on that last part, Muna. Snoopy, ignore that. I was trying to be funny and I guess it didn't work.

 

[curvygrrl]

This may sound a little off, but are you a member of any local organizations? Do you have a regular group of friends that go out together? Maybe your focus shouldn't necessarily be on clubs or bars or parties, but on things that truly interest you.

I met a couple of really nice guys at a local bookstore that I may not have noticed elsewhere. If bookstores or libraries aren't your thing, how about politics, civic organizations, or gardening, or whatever else you are interested in. If you start pursuing your interests outside of looking for sexual companionship, you may find what you are looking for. You may find someone in that group that shares your interests and point of views and would be interested in getting to know you better on a personal level.

In any case, it will improve your self confidence and bring you out of your shell a little. You can't really be shy doing something you are passionate about. It may even give you the confidence to go up to that cute girl in the supermarket and say, "Hey, my name is Snoopy and I couldn't help but come over here. I think you are really cute and would like to get to know you a little better. Would you like to go out to dinner," or something like that. Hey, the guy that used that one on me wasn't even as cute as you and we had a great dinner and dated for a while after that, we are still friendly.

 

[rip_1_4_u]

This may sound a little off, but are you a member of any local organizations? Do you have a regular group of friends that go out together? Maybe your focus shouldn't necessarily be on clubs or bars or parties, but on things that truly interest you.

I met a couple of really nice guys at a local bookstore that I may not have noticed elsewhere. If bookstores or libraries aren't your thing, how about politics, civic organizations, or gardening, or whatever else you are interested in. If you start pursuing your interests outside of looking for sexual companionship, you may find what you are looking for. You may find someone in that group that shares your interests and point of views and would be interested in getting to know you better on a personal level.

In any case, it will improve your self confidence and bring you out of your shell a little. You can't really be shy doing something you are passionate about. It may even give you the confidence to go up to that cute girl in the supermarket and say, "Hey, my name is Snoopy and I couldn't help but come over here. I think you are really cute and would like to get to know you a little better. Would you like to go out to dinner," or something like that. Hey, the guy that used that one on me wasn't even as cute as you and we had a great dinner and dated for a while after that, we are still friendly.

curvygrrl I totally agree...you're right on (not off at all!) I had been married to a man and wanted to date women but felt totally inadequate...so I started my own outdoor adventure group for women with a friend, since I love outdoor stuff, and met a ton of great women. Dated a couple of women, then met my girlfriend in the group, who I was with for 15 years! Get involved in something you love, and you'll meet lots of people to date and make lots of friends as well.

 

[SnoopDog]

Wow, I just realized that this thread still exists...which is good because it's a place for people like me to know you're not alone and a place for caring people to offer help. Thnx everybody for their (ongoing) contributions.

As for my situation...well....nothing has changed. Due to my new studies I got to know a whole bunch of new people but still no girl interested in me.

Snoopy

 

[DrStein]

I'll tell you, I have a similar problem myself. I'm 20 years old and have been a misanthrope up until the last few years. Naturally, I'm not very good with people in general, nevermind women. But I've been getting a lot of advice, and I'm getting better.

The first thing you need to do is what has already been suggested: assume the role of the alpha male. You need to build confidence by not consciously thinking of the word. You see a girl you like and think, "I wonder if she'd be fun to talk to. I'm going to go see if I can make her laugh." You have to get into the mindframe that you will be pleasant company just by talking and joking with them.

To further show confidence, don't be afraid to tease a girl. Joke around with her. Act cocky without being arrogant. For example, if she laughs and blushes at something you said, point it out. "You have the cutest blush, you know that?" Laugh a little when saying it. I don't know why, but most women seem to like that.

In fact, women seem to enjoy a sense of humor in general. One girl who was in a class of mine last semester saw me wearing my shades in the dining hall the other day. She playfully asked me if I could see anything. Truth is, I wear the shades because bright lights give me a headache. But I didn't tell her that. I said, "Nope. Blind as a bat. I'm using my radar sense." She giggled and asked me why I wear them indoors, to which I replied, "Makes me look pretentious." I embellished that with a smug, cocky, toothy grin with my nose up in the air. She laughed at that one.

Granted, she's already taken so I never had much of a chance, but it was nice to see that women do respond well to a guy with a sense of humor.

One guy I know actually told me a very funny technique he's used in the past. He would see a woman sitting at a cafe or a restaurant or someplace like that, then pull out a notebook and make a big deal out of pretending to sketch her. He'd take a few minutes then sign the drawing with a flourish, take it out and fold it in half. He'd walk up to the girl and give her a cheesy line about her inspirational beauty, then go back to his seat. She'd unfold the paper to see it was really a crude stick figure drawing that looked like he'd sketched it with his asscheeks. The funny thing was, more often than not she would laugh and invite him to her table.

So it would seem a lot of women also look for a guy who's kind of quirky. Any women around here who cna hlep me confirm or debunk that theory?

Anyway, point is it seems the old cliche is true. Women really do love a guy who can make her laugh. I've been trying to ease up more lately and be more at-ease in my rather quirky, sarcastic, black sense of humor, and I've noticed how much easier it is for me to talk to women ever since.

 

[emap]

What drstein said. We usually do enjoy a nice giggle now and then, but if humor isn't your strong point, stay away from it, please.

All I can say is, you really need to find something that gets your head up, I just LOVE a man with his head held up just daring the world to mess with him.

I'm not saying be an a**hole or something, I'm just saying that if you hold your head up instead of down woman will be attracted to you. My guy was like you, he usually had his head down, stared at his feet most of the time. He is, I'm biased here, but he is the most gorgeous man I could ever hope to see. Now if he had met me with his head down I would have kept going most likely, but he was nervous and fidgety so his head stayed up and I fell for him. I've gotten him to hold his head high more now, and women are flirting with him, he's kinda dense in that area so doesn't realize, but they do.

I'm going out on a limb here, but perhaps you are in the same boat as he is, your just kinda dense to flirting. Day after you read this and go to college, make an effort at looking ahead of you, talk to the women in your classes and complement them, I can pretty much guarantee that at least one will start flirtng back in a way you notice. Just keep in mind, touching flirting is a last ditch to get a guy who isn't showing much interest or is showing tons of interest and we want to get him dating or in bed.

Just look for the simpler ones, tossing hair back, playing with hair so forth. Just talk to women the way you talk to guys, well leave out those manly things you talk about that are just gross, and pay them complements, simple as that.

 

[DrStein]

I've noticed for most women, confidence stems from a guy having the attitude that he doesn't need anybody's permission, nor does he feel the need to outright say so.

Of course, I figure that some guys (read: me) are still a bit of a tough sell.

 

[Leeleigh]

I'll tell you, I have a similar problem myself. I'm 20 years old and have been a misanthrope up until the last few years. Naturally, I'm not very good with people in general, nevermind women. But I've been getting a lot of advice, and I'm getting better.

The first thing you need to do is what has already been suggested: assume the role of the alpha male. You need to build confidence by not consciously thinking of the word. You see a girl you like and think, "I wonder if she'd be fun to talk to. I'm going to go see if I can make her laugh." You have to get into the mindframe that you will be pleasant company just by talking and joking with them.

To further show confidence, don't be afraid to tease a girl. Joke around with her. Act cocky without being arrogant. For example, if she laughs and blushes at something you said, point it out. "You have the cutest blush, you know that?" Laugh a little when saying it. I don't know why, but most women seem to like that.

In fact, women seem to enjoy a sense of humor in general. One girl who was in a class of mine last semester saw me wearing my shades in the dining hall the other day. She playfully asked me if I could see anything. Truth is, I wear the shades because bright lights give me a headache. But I didn't tell her that. I said, "Nope. Blind as a bat. I'm using my radar sense." She giggled and asked me why I wear them indoors, to which I replied, "Makes me look pretentious." I embellished that with a smug, cocky, toothy grin with my nose up in the air. She laughed at that one.

Granted, she's already taken so I never had much of a chance, but it was nice to see that women do respond well to a guy with a sense of humor.

One guy I know actually told me a very funny technique he's used in the past. He would see a woman sitting at a cafe or a restaurant or someplace like that, then pull out a notebook and make a big deal out of pretending to sketch her. He'd take a few minutes then sign the drawing with a flourish, take it out and fold it in half. He'd walk up to the girl and give her a cheesy line about her inspirational beauty, then go back to his seat. She'd unfold the paper to see it was really a crude stick figure drawing that looked like he'd sketched it with his asscheeks. The funny thing was, more often than not she would laugh and invite him to her table.

So it would seem a lot of women also look for a guy who's kind of quirky. Any women around here who cna hlep me confirm or debunk that theory?

Anyway, point is it seems the old cliche is true. Women really do love a guy who can make her laugh. I've been trying to ease up more lately and be more at-ease in my rather quirky, sarcastic, black sense of humor, and I've noticed how much easier it is for me to talk to women ever since.

You are right.....make a woman laugh and you put her at ease.

Snoopy, you need to get out of the mindset that you are a virgin and simply start looking at women as potential friends first. Out of friendship comes the rest. Treat the woman with respect, and have good manners, and you will go a long way with that.

If a woman catches your eye, never be afraid to walk over and compliment her on what got your attention, her smile, the scent of the perfume she is wearing, her eyes, etc... Just remember that she is a person too and we all like to be told something nice about us.

and honey, even if she tells you to shove off, don't take it personally.. she may be in a bad mood, doesn't feel good, or maybe she is simply a raving bitch.. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[Little Bird]

Sometimes things come to happen when one is expecting them the least...

 

[Pinnochio]

From my experiences; woman love a good sense of humouur. Still, all the women I know are married or in relationships; and my rule is to never interphear in a relationship. Try looking for mor open-minded women, they are out there.

 

[Zanzibar]

For Snoopy

You haven't said if you have any female friends. I know you're seeking a girlfriend. Maybe even the wife of a married friend of yours.

I've had a couple friends in your situation, and in their cases - getting some decent sharp looking clothes made a huge difference. I don't mean a lot of expensive stuff, but some nicer stuff like slacks/khaki's or dockers and some semi dress shirts and sweaters.

Some basic fashion improvements make a huge difference because those are things people notice subconciously as well as conciously.

In both my friends cases, some female friends took them out clothes shopping and got them several good, matching outfits, belts and socks. Might even consider some new shoes. (and go with a woman if possible, since she'll look at it from the feminine perspective and thats the perspective you're interested in.

From your av, assuming thats you, you look like a fairly handsome young man, so the packaging might make a difference.

After all, almost all girls want their man to be someone they can be proud of, or look nice standing beside them.

(By the way - both of my friends are now married!!)

From my own perspective, my being willing to listen and being responsive to them worked best for me. I've never been one of those 6-pack stud muffin looking guys, but even in my 40's showing that your partner is important to you, whether it's just chatting or making love/having sex was the biggest thing.

A wise old boss once told me, you should pay attention to the person you're with at that moment as if they are the most important person in the whole world. If you do, they can't help but feel it. Works in business, friendship and sex. Because people like that are pretty rare, and if you're one of them, you'll stand out.

 

[Little Bird]

But rember: Never stop being yourself!

If you try to be someone you aren't it would most probably not work and even in the rare cases where it does, it does not for long.
It would help no-one if one finds someone who is in love with someonewho didn't exist....

 

[Pinnochio]

may i suggest you look into older women; they are way more open-minded than many skinny young ladies.

 

[DrStein]

may i suggest you look into older women; they are way more open-minded than many skinny young ladies.

Oh, I don't know. College girls tend to get pretty adventurous. At least, if any of the ones I've talked to are an indication.

 

[Leeleigh]

may i suggest you look into older women; they are way more open-minded than many skinny young ladies.

Yes we are....... Hi baby

 

[Kingterp]

Damn your a loser

 

[DrStein]

Damn your a loser

This from a guy who has nothing better to do with his life than troll an adult messageboard?

Why don't you go back to trolling on Yu-Gi-Oh! messageboards? The average mental age there is about your speed.

 

[Kingterp]

This from a guy who has nothing better to do with his life than troll an adult messageboard?

Why don't you go back to trolling on Yu-Gi-Oh! messageboards? The average mental age there is about your speed.

And why are you on this board since your so much better then me

 

[DrStein]

And why are you here since your so much better then me

Unlike you, I'm not trolling. Which is why people like me, but nobody likes you.

Go away now, little boy. The grown-ups are talking.

 

[Kingterp]

Unlike you, I'm not trolling. Which is why people like me, but nobody likes you.

Go away now, little boy. The grown-ups are talking.

Yes I see. All you do is talk shit im a loser but where are your women at you dont have any do you if you did you would be at home fucking them and not talking to women on lit.

Un like you I dont need lit to pick up women. Your on lit to pick up women but im the loser troll I see

 

[DrStein]

Yes I see. All you do is talk shit

... he said after blatantly disregarding all of my other posts.

Typical troll tactic. Clumsy, easy to evade.

im a loser but where are your women at you dont have any do you if you did you would be at home fucking them and not talking to women on lit.

Ah yes, the old techinque of challenging my masculinity. I liked that technique the first few hundred times I laughed at its futility.

Notice, you mention I'm talking to women on this board instead of fucking women in real life. Yet you are talking to me instead of fucking your own women you imply you have. Thus, your attack falls flat on its face.

Un like you I dont need lit to pick up women.

Right. You need booze. And lots of it. A couple hits of acid and some roofies would probably help too.

Your on lit to pick up women

No I just thought it would be nice to meet and talk to some new people.

but im the loser troll I see

Exactly! Now you know, and knowing is half the battle! :thumb:

EDIT: Damn, they don't have the thumbs-up smiley. The GI Joe reference just isn't as funny without it.

 

[GeorgeWBush]

You are right.....make a woman laugh and you put her at ease.

Snoopy, you need to get out of the mindset that you are a virgin and simply start looking at women as potential friends first. Out of friendship comes the rest. Treat the woman with respect, and have good manners, and you will go a long way with that.

If a woman catches your eye, never be afraid to walk over and compliment her on what got your attention, her smile, the scent of the perfume she is wearing, her eyes, etc... Just remember that she is a person too and we all like to be told something nice about us.

and honey, even if she tells you to shove off, don't take it personally.. she may be in a bad mood, doesn't feel good, or maybe she is simply a raving bitch.. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Listen to this person very smart and you will go far.

 

[GeorgeWBush]

Damn your a loser

This is a good reason to remember do not act like this person because you will have to pay for sex or use a blow up doll.

 

[DrStein]

Listen to this person very smart and you will go far.

It's always nice when a woman can offer her insight to back up or debunk our theories. I don't know why some of the stuff with women works, but it does.

Looking at the last sentence of Leeleigh's post, there are two other points I wanted to add.

If a woman's in a bad mood, she'll really appreciate it if you can find some way to cheer her up.

If she just blows you off like a total bitch, with as much dignity as you can muster, say something along the lines of, "I don't know where or how you were raised, but I don't tolerate people who can't show a little (pick one) common courtesy/manners/civility toward others." The turn your back on her. Most of the time, she'll try to apologize. If not, you've still demonstrated to everyone within earshot that you don't take crap from anyone, and thus win yourself their respect. Win/win.

 

[Kingterp]

If you dont like what I post dont reply im not a troll and I dont like to be called one