How depressing, if this is the best we can do this afternoon.

[alexandraaah]

Someone tell me a story about your weekend, week, month, year, life, dog, cat, lover, dustbunnies or caffeine habit.

Amuse me.

Please?

 

[lobito]

I'm hungover, and all alone today. Is that exciting enough for you?

 

[Starblayde]

you mean my footbal tournament thread *shock horror* wasn't interesting?

*bawling eyes out*

 

[KillerMuffin]

http://www.satinslippers.com/blogs/killermuffin/

 

[explain]

Last night, I hid my wife's favorite vibrator behind the heat pump at my neighbor's house, two doors down. They were having a backyard/deck party with about 20? people (about ten cars out front). I stripped my wife buck naked and tied her hands behind her back and told her to go get it about 10pm when everything was really rolling there. She came before she even left out the front door to retrieve it. She did though. What a little trooper. What happened next.... well....

Is that better?

 

[Problem Child]

Someone tell me a story about your weekend, week, month, year, life, dog, cat, lover, dustbunnies or caffeine habit.

Amuse me.

Please?

You think we're here solely for your amusement?

Go play with your nipples.

 

[alexandraaah]

Lo- Yes! This is precisely the useless shit I want to know right now. What do you plan to do with your day?

Starblayde- Don't cry, sweets, my disinterest in football has been around since....well, since you posted that thread. But don't cry, it's not becoming of you.

Muff- You have fielded this request so well; it's safe to assume you compiled that lil' site just for moi, in the past minute or so? You make me feel so special. Could you take all that crush energy you have since dropping the riffer and focus it on me?

 

[naudiz]

I fucked away most of the weekend playing games. Then I did some writing. Now I'm fucking away more of the weekend, but I'm about to go do more writing.

I think the vibrator story tops this one.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I knew, months ago, that you would have nothing to do after finals, my darling, so I compiled that simply for your amusement. How did you know I had a secret crush on you?

Of course, once it's not a secret it's not a crush. *sigh*

 

[CarolineOh]

Someone tell me a story about your weekend, week, month, year, life, dog, cat, lover, dustbunnies or caffeine habit.

Amuse me.

Please?

I'm feeling a little low myself. After the wonderful time we had celebrating my boyfriends birthday (and if you want a link to that thread I'll PM it to you, I'd feel tacky linking it again)I've got a little of that day-after-Christmas feeling.

 

[lobito]

I thought about maybe eating something today, that would probably be a good start. (I wish that Chinese food places were open on Sundays.) I might have a soad pop too, maybe more. Watching baseball right now, we're losing, and plan on watching hockey later. Still exciting enough for you?

 

[alexandraaah]

Re: Re: How depressing, if this is the best we can do this afternoon.

Originally posted by Problem Child

You think we're here solely for your amusement?

Yes.

Go play with your nipples.

Okay.


Explain has a commanding lead at the moment. Here's the scoreboard so far:

explain: 5
Muffin: 3.5
Lobito: 3
Starblayde: 2
PC: 1 for being you, but 0 for information.

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Re: How depressing, if this is the best we can do this afternoon.

I'm feeling a little low myself. After the wonderful time we had celebrating my boyfriends birthday (and if you want a link to that thread I'll PM it to you, I'd feel tacky linking it again)I've got a little of that day-after-Christmas feeling.

You know what, you wanted to be amused, and I just moped. Sorry, Draaah.

 

[KillerMuffin]

A 3.5???

Whore.

I don't have a secret crush on you anymore at all.

 

[naudiz]

Man, I didn't even rank.

Okay, alexandraaah, what kind of story do you want to hear? This weekend may be a total wash, but I've got amusing anecdotes coming out my ears.

Well, they amused me anyway. I'm not hard to amuse.

 

[alexandraaah]

Re: Re: How depressing, if this is the best we can do this afternoon.

I'm feeling a little low myself. After the wonderful time we had celebrating my boyfriends birthday (and if you want a link to that thread I'll PM it to you, I'd feel tacky linking it again)I've got a little of that day-after-Christmas feeling.

Oh, Oh, do I know that feeling. This is a good place for that, as it seems to be a pergatory of feelings in here sometimes. See: riffer's thread.

And yes, I saw the thread about your honey, it was lovely.

 

[alexandraaah]

A 3.5???

Whore.

I don't have a secret crush on you anymore at all.

You know what? The StudMuffin can have you!

*uncontrollable sobs*

You better give me my Tony Danza tank top back. (random line from Growing Pains that I've held onto for years, waiting for the perfect opportunity).


naudiz--your call, sugar, you didn't rank cause I didn't see your post until after mine.

 

[YogiBare]

Hi Alex!

I had a great phone conversation with an old friend last night. She and I are both on the committee that is planning our 30 (gulp) year high school reunion. When I got her on the phone she said, "I have a surprise for you. Dan is here with me now." Dan was her high school boy friend and one of my closest friends. The two of them had not been in touch for many, many years. I was surprised but didn't think anything of it. Then, after a few minutes, it hit me. I blurted out, "Are you two back together??!!??" Very quietly, and after a pause, she started giggling, and said, "YES." I started whooping and hollering at her over the phone. She is a widow with grown kids. He broke up not too long ago with a woman whom he had dated for very many years. They are both wonderful people! I am so tickled for them. They were a great couple when we were in high school and I so hope that they'll be happy together in the prime of middle age!

 

[KillerMuffin]

After all that trouble I went through last night making a four hour, that's four hours!!! of video tape of me doing all those nasty things you wanted! I even licked your nipple on the monitor!


*sobs uncontrollably*

 

[CarolineOh]

Now, Yogi's post cheered me right up.

Because it reminded me I'm still a long way from my 30 year HS reunion

 

[alexandraaah]

And...Yogi takes the lead!

He's smarter than the average bear, you know.

Thanks for the story, I can feel how happy you are for your friends just by how you wrote it.

 

[alexandraaah]

After all that trouble I went through last night making a four hour, that's four hours!!! of video tape of me doing all those nasty things you wanted! I even licked your nipple on the monitor!


*sobs uncontrollably*

Muff- I'm sick of your games, babe. If this thing we have is really real then you'll send me the video you made with yoyotwat when you guys went to that cozy little B&B in Vermont.

The licking of the nipple? Let's just say that shock you felt wasn't electricity. We have something really special. I can feel it.

 

[explain]

Quick addition to my story from above which I think will bring a smile...

When she got back home (15 minutes later) she said, "You didn't tell me that heat pumps aren't nailed down."

 

[naudiz]

That's my timing, always just a few seconds off.

Okay, this story starts as so many of my amusing stories do: this one time when I was in Amsterdam...

I was touring the Sex Museum with my boyfriend at the time, who is Dutch, and he speaks several languages fluently, including English and German.

While touring one of the many rooms laden with wall to wall porn, including a bench that was shaped like a gigantic orange cock with the seating part on the testicles, a giggling cluster of American sorority-type girls came in gawking and pointing at all the pictures, sculptures, and, of course, the bench.

My boyfriend and I just gave each other a look, and immediately started speaking German to each other instead of English. The girls assumed we weren't English speakers and eventually they started discussing us or, rather, him.

"Oh my God! He's so hot!"

"Check him out. I bet he's hung!"

"I'd love to get my hands on that!"

"Yeah, whoever she is, she's a lucky bitch."

"Oh my God! She totally looks fourteen! He's a pedo."

"I don't care! I'll be fourteen to get my hands on that!"

And so forth. Calmly, without so much as cracking a smile, we continued looking around, speaking German, commenting on this and that. On our way out, he turns to the girls and says, "Thank you ladies. I'm flattered. Oh, she's twenty-two."

The horrified squeals that followed were worth the price of admission.

 

[alexandraaah]

Quick addition to my story from above which I think will bring a smile...

When she got back home (15 minutes later) she said, "You didn't tell me that heat pumps aren't nailed down."

Good God, explain, your life is like a great big Lit. story. Tell me another, tell me another.