Holding Your Tongue

[silverwhisper]

btw: been watching rocky horror recently? :>

ed

 

[EJFan]

re: eilan and pyro

i used to believe (way back when, when i was immature and bored) that compelling people to think by being devil's advocate, being misleading, or what have you, was interesting. i used to believe that it was almost honorable to create dischord and disharmony in order to create an environment condusive to thought and idea-sharing.

when i grew up, i learned that there were problems with this concept. first, some people are un/misinformed enough to take the information as correct or useful. they don't discuss or even alert anyone that they've ingested the information... they just go around spouting it as if it was factual and that just perpetuates the ignorance.

second, i learned that it's very self serving and does nothing to improve the common good. as the cliche goes, you're either part of the problem or part of the solution. if you can't improve the level of "good" you're hindering its natural progression.

finally, i learned that there's a lot of comfort and sanity in letting things go (ironic to say so after this post). different people believe different things... facts and opinions both. whether they're right or wrong (or if it's an opinion, if you agree with it or not), they're entitled to it regardless of your view or ability to change it. there's something to be said for karma... people who disturb others' beliefs and thoughts eventually get retribution sooner or later.

pyro... i respect your right to be here and hope you find some balance in life... something to fulfill whatever desire you have that's not being met. i suspect that once you accomplish this, you'll become more prudent in your discourse and respect those with whom you come in contact.

i find your posts, to this point, to be largely uninformed and inappropriate. none of the people you've offended need defending but if they did, i'd be the first one in line. this community is riddled with helpful, balanced and insightful contributors. i'm confident that you'll move in that direction in your own time... just relax and try not moving so fast that you wind up stickin' your foot in it.

are you part of the problem or part of the solution? i don't mean the problems and solutions of YOUR life... i mean the problems and solutions of others' lives. if you'd rather be self serving, there's no need to employ the internet and this community to do so. if you'd like to serve the lit community (or whatever community you'd care to serve) then you'd be welcome if you only considered an initiative other than your own.

edit to add:
whatever environment you're in, cyber or otherwise, a communicator has to develop some degree of rapport with others. if someone has no rapport, their communications get flatly ignored... THEN what's the point?

YOUR opinion has to be respected before someone will open their think-tank and debate it with you. someone could be spot-on wrong about something but if they present it in an articulate, respectful way, the debate will come.

 

[AppleBiter]

AppleBiter, I apologize for hijacking your thread. Please feel free to put it back on track.

No need to apologize, Eilan. You said what needed to be said and I want to add my opinion to that:

Pyro, if you don't know how to contribute sound advice to a situation because it's something you have no experience with, don't say anything at all or even say, "You know, this isn't my area of expertise. I'm not sure," but don't make up some bullshit.

If you're giving erroneous advice because you get some kind of sick enjoyment out of trying to trick people whose only mistake was seeking your advice, then I agree with Eilan . . . I think you should take that behavior to the GB, where it would be more widely accepted. I'm not telling you to leave the How To boards . . . they don't belong to me and I don't have any right to tell you what to do. You have just as much right to be here as anyone else. But, you can bet your ass that people here will be checking up on your posts from now on and personally, if I see something you've given false advice about, not only do I plan to warn the person asking for advice, I also plan to provide a link to the post in which you admitted that you thought it was fun to lie to them.

AB

 

[Eilan]

btw: been watching rocky horror recently?

No, but I have been listening to the soundtrack when I'm in the car. My kids don't think much of it, but I don't care for The Backyardigans, either.

 

[midwestyankee]

I have to confess that I didn't hold my tongue very well today.

There's a thread on the Personals Board started by a guy who wants a last fling before he gets married in a month. While I know that that I probably should have just ignored it, I didn't.

What you did was to use your [metaphorical] tongue very smartly and rather accurately.

X 12 for saying the right thing in the right place at the right time.

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

Do you (or should I say they) listen to the Backyardigans in the car?

No way. I don't think it's occurred to the kids to ask if they could bring the CD along. I'm perfectly happy with that.

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

OK, I had to google Backyardigans to find out what it was. At least your kids are young. My 17 year old son and some of his friends like to watch Spongebob.

I like SpongeBob.

 

[Guest]

 

[Quoll]

I like SpongeBob.

http://school.discovery.com/clipart/small/ani-zip.gif


Possibly has something to do with endless playing of one particular dvd.


On a totally unrelated matter, it cracks me up every time I do a two word image search on google, you just never know what's going to show up.

zip mouth

 

[yoshimitsu]

Here ya go.

Ah man,
The way you described it I was expecting you dished out an abusive ass reaming with a rough sawn 2X4 with 3" Gold deck screws sticking out of it. It turns out you were all polite and calm about it.
I felt kinda let down

I've never understood this whole get laid on your bachelor party night thing. I guess to me marriage isn't the commitment, you've already made that commitment to be faithful before you get married. At least, you'd better have! Hell, even in an open marriage there is a commitment of some sort. Marriage doesn't work without it.

Yeah, IMO it doesn't really have anything to do with the sex part. Relationships should be based on trust and honesty. There is no person in the world I want to trust more than my SO. Once the honesty is gone there is nothing left but a big steaming pile of dogshit.
It amazes me how much stuff most people really pull in relationships, even the "good and nice" ones.
I have never fully understood humans
Probably never will

 

[warrior queen]

I have never fully understood humans
Probably never will

and there, blunt and direct, is the only true statement on this entire site.

 

[AppleBiter]

I like SpongeBob.

I LOVE SpongeBob!!! Patrick is my fave.

 

[Guest]

 

[Quoll]

OK, I sort of blew a fuse this morning here.

It just pisses me off that this guy keeps pushing his wife when it's clear it angers her. If she had been just brushing off him repeatedly asking her, I might feel different. I don't know.

The guy is basically dropping his email addy everywhere here (and how many other boards) to get someone to seduce his wife without her knowledge or even any interest on her part, he is an A grade arsehole, Let's hope she posts here looking for someone to buttfuck her husband. "Suprise Honey"

 

[Guest]

 

[TBKahuna123]

The guy is basically dropping his email addy everywhere here (and how many other boards) to get someone to seduce his wife without her knowledge or even any interest on her part, he is an A grade arsehole, Let's hope she posts here looking for someone to buttfuck her husband. "Suprise Honey"

I can see it now...

Honey, I really want to see you fucked by another guy.

OK sweetie...you first?

 

[SweetErika]

Eilan, EJ, AB, your posts regarding pyropaul and misinformation were some of the best I've ever read. Thanks for NOT holding your tongues!

I didn't hold my tongue in the Birth Control thread on the same issue for all of the reasons previously discussed. I think people should be held accountable for what they post, and asking for references to back up information is perfectly reasonable. Pyropaul, if you're reading this, it's your responsibility to post good info and references, not Eilan's, my, or anyone else's to counter the crap your spouting with real, accurate information. You really need to grow up and leave HT if your point is to waste everyone's time by posting misinformation.

Sure, this is a "porn board," and maybe I shouldn't take it so seriously, but I've seen way too many people coming here to get real information and advice to not take it seriously. I've asked this community for answers, opinions, and advice many times myself because I trust I'll get accurate, helpful, and meaningful responses. I only wish I had a place like this to learn when I had a lot of questions about my body, sex, birth control, and relationships when I was at that point in life. I would have (and still do) wanted quality information, resources, and advice then, so I figure I should do my best to give that to others now under the principle of treating people the way I want to be treated.

As for the question at hand about holding your tongue, yes, I do frequently. Most of the time, I'll just have an immediate thought or smart-ass/bitchy response, and so I bite my tongue and bide my time until I rephrase it into something less abrasive and more helpful. I do that a lot in real life too though...I believe it just falls under "think before you speak." In general, if something needs to be said, I'll say it, though usually someone like Eilan, EJ, AB, TBK, Lynxie, Cate, M'sGirl, etc. beats me to it.

 

[Eilan]

OK, I sort of blew a fuse this morning here.

I started a thread a few months back that was loosely inspired by these types of threads. I might have to dig around for it.

Ah man,
The way you described it I was expecting you dished out an abusive ass reaming with a rough sawn 2X4 with 3" Gold deck screws sticking out of it. It turns out you were all polite and calm about it.
I felt kinda let down

I think you read too much into my original post.

 

[SweetErika]

Maybe I'm stirring up trouble, but I'll be impressed if anyone can hold their tongue on this one.

 

[Eilan]

Maybe I'm stirring up trouble, but I'll be impressed if anyone can hold their tongue on this one.

I posted there, but my inability to hold my tongue has already been well-documented.

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

I have a few thoughts myself but my mind's fried and i'm afraid i'll mess it up.

I'm sure the thread will still be active in the morning if you'd like to sleep on it.

 

[Guest]