Help training a sub

[bersonjj]

I am currently training a new sub of mine online and I am looking for tasks and assignements for her to perform while we chat on the computer.

Does Aanyone have humiliating and submissive tasks in mind that have worked well? I have made her spank herself as well as other basics already.

Thank you for your help.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Does Aanyone have humiliating and submissive tasks in mind that have worked well?

Feel free to peruse the library in the sticky at the top of this page.

A thread that specifically addresses other reference sources exists here.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Yes, this answer is quite confrontational although it should not be seen as a personal attack on bersonjj him/herself. It is a comment about dubious online practices.

Here goes:

If you have to ask how to do it, what the hell are you doing being an online Dom?

Isn't the whole idea of D/s to be mutually enjoyable? If you don't know what will please you then how can a sub please you?

Whatever humiliating tasks you order this sub to do will be done only to the level of their neediness & gullibility, but I bet both of you will pretend it's deep & meaningful.

 

[graceanne]

Yes, this answer is quite confrontational although it should not be seen as a personal attack on bersonjj him/herself. It is a comment about dubious online practices.

Here goes:

If you have to ask how to do it, what the hell are you doing being an online Dom?

Isn't the whole idea of D/s to be mutually enjoyable? If you don't know what will please you then how can a sub please you?

Whatever humiliating tasks you order this sub to do will be done only to the level of their neediness & gullibility, but I bet both of you will pretend it's deep & meaningful.

rowr

 

[AngelicAssassin]

If you have to ask how to do it, what the hell are you doing being an online Dom?

Dayum, izzy ... i won't bother next time ...

 

[Caitlynne]

Yes, this answer is quite confrontational although it should not be seen as a personal attack on bersonjj him/herself. It is a comment about dubious online practices.

Here goes:

If you have to ask how to do it, what the hell are you doing being an online Dom?

Isn't the whole idea of D/s to be mutually enjoyable? If you don't know what will please you then how can a sub please you?

Whatever humiliating tasks you order this sub to do will be done only to the level of their neediness & gullibility, but I bet both of you will pretend it's deep & meaningful.

You know I have to admit, I've always wanted to give an answer like this when a question about how to Dominante on-line comes up.

So, all I can say is YOU ROCK!!!

 

[graceanne]

*never mind, not up for this disagreement*

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[graceanne]

While I tend to agree with Incubus'_sub, I also have to accept that people can't walk into this lifestyle blindly. They need to research and learn. And part of researching and learning is asking questions.

So while I'm tempted to say "Dude... ask HER, communicate with HER, and figure out yourself enough to know what pleases YOU in terms of humiliating/submissive acts" (Because humiliation and submission has so many definitions) I do understand the interest in getting other opinions, especially if someone is new to Topping/Dominating/etc another.


(How was that for diplomatic? )

Perfect, hon. You described both sides perfectly. I knew I liked you for a reason. *hugs* Frankly, YOU rock.

 

[Caitlynne]

It was great for diplomatic, and I agree that when people begin, they need to ask questions. I also agree, that this is a perfect place to ask them.

I also admit, that sometimes, I shake my head and just wonder. But that is more the medium we are in as opposed to the people asking the questions I suppose. (And upon further reflection) I suppose we do not have enough information to form any opinion whatsoever.

~ cait

 

[graceanne]

It was great for diplomatic, and I agree that when people begin, they need to ask questions. I also agree, that this is a perfect place to ask them.

I also admit, that sometimes, I shake my head and just wonder. But that is more the medium we are in as opposed to the people asking the questions I suppose. (And upon further reflection) I suppose we do not have enough information to form any opinion whatsoever.

~ cait

my issue was with the comment about them pretending the relationship is deep and meaningful. That was a direct slam against online relationships.

Frankly, I often wonder if AA has the little thing he does about checking the archives just saved somewhere, so that he doesn't have to rewrite it every time we get someone here asking for us to do the work for them again.

Frankly, this guy just got a lot of frusteration aimed at the tons of people who get on here and wanna cut corners.

 

[Caitlynne]

my issue was with the comment about them pretending the relationship is deep and meaningful. That was a direct slam against online relationships.

Oh now that is a different issue from what I was addressing. Thank you for explaining, I appreciate.

~ cait

 

[incubus'_sub]

LOL, very diplomatic, well done !

I got the feeling though that this Dom was portraying himself as quite experienced, training a new sub, had her spank herself & all the basics etc etc. I felt that the question came more from boredom & lack of imagination than an attempt to learn anything.

I'm not trying to offend anyone for the sake of it, but rather I'm tired of the constant pressure to go along with the great pretense. I don't think I'm the only one here who is starting to feel like part of the crowd at the parade when the Emperor wore his "new" clothes. Sooner or later someone had to say WHAT new clothes?

I was talking to Incubus about this this morning. His suggestion was that maybe it's time now to split this forum into another part similar to the Cafe for the onliners to compare notes.

Online seems to meet the needs of many people both as an introduction to the BDSM world and obviously also as an end unto itself. That's great if that's all you want & need. Then there are those of us who are skin to skin who see the mental picture of someone sitting at a computer torturing themselves as, well, ridiculous. We too come here to learn & share our experiences and all too often lately we'll get a long, involved post, punctuated by references to trust & love, torture & torment, then lastly the fact that all their vast experience is online. gggggrrrrrrr

If virtual is real then some people will have messes to clean up because I'm about ready to throw up at them.

 

[LadyNatasha]

There's always the possibility that this Person has trained subs/slaves irl but never online. Things surely don't translate the same, right? Therefore the 'need' to ask would be there, whereas in a RT relationship it may be smooth sailing for them.

Just My 2 cents.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Graceanne, I think you are beautiful and I enjoy your posts. In this case you are right, it was a slam, but not a sneaky or underhanded one & I labelled the comments as confrontational to begin with. I'm fine with anyone who disagrees with me to say so too.

 

[graceanne]

Graceanne, I think you are beautiful and I enjoy your posts. In this case you are right, it was a slam, but not a sneaky or underhanded one & I labelled the comments as confrontational to begin with. I'm fine with anyone who disagrees with me to say so too.

I didn't think that that you were being sneaky. Frankly, I've never know you to be sneaky, it's why I was comfortable saying something about it. And I can, and do understand your frusteration. I just feel that this guy was getting the brunt of everyone's frusteration with ALL the people who show up here like him, and that wasn't fair to him. When I saw his post on the lineup, I rolled my eyes.

Frankly, I enjoy your posts, and partly cause you are honest, and you call a rake a rake. I don't have to worry that you're saying something, and thinking something else. I wasn't that upset, it's why I only put rowr, but then I had to explain what I was objecting to. I should have just kept my comments to myself, but frankly had just gotten in a fight with K, and wasn't feeling like being diplomatic anymore than you were. So I was in the wrong as you were. I should have kept my comment to myself.

 

[incubus'_sub]

No, your comments are always valid & you should always express them.

Our daily lives do affect our moods & responses and we all do it.

Why this poster became the straw on my camel's back I have no idea, no personal issues, just a feeling of oh, that's ENOUGH !

 

[graceanne]

No, your comments are always valid & you should always express them.

Our daily lives do affect our moods & responses and we all do it.

Why this poster became the straw on my camel's back I have no idea, no personal issues, just a feeling of oh, that's ENOUGH !

*hugs*