Have you told your parents?

[Etoile]

My parents have met my submissive...but they have no clue as to our relationship.

Same here - my parents have met my Daddy but they think Daddy's just a very good friend, even though Daddy paid for my girlfriend and I (all three of us) to go on vacation to the Caribbean! I'm pretty sure they'd be floored to find out the real relationship.

 

[Etoile]

So true...as an adjunct has anyone seen the heterosexual questionaire which highlights many of the issues for them in a fun, but also enlightening way?

The Heterosexual Questionnaire

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?
   Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?
3. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
4. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay or lesbian lover?
5. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did he or she react?
6. Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your life-style?
7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Why can't you just be what you are and keep quiet about it?
8. Would you want your children to be heterosexual knowing the problems that they'd face?
9. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
10. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
11. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
12. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?
13. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear she/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
14. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality, and fail to develop you natural, healthy homosexual potential?
15. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

Reprinted from "Are You Still My Mother" by Gloria Guss Back. Warner Books, 1985. Questionnaire attributed to Martin Rochlin, Ph.D., West Hollywood, CA.

 

[SilkVelvet]

LOL I hadn't seen that questionnaire before

What I can never figure out is why female swingers have sex with other women and then say that they are 100% straight.. and why men who give other men BJs say they are 100% straight too.. I reckon there are loads of ppl on the GB who are pretty much confused.. and I often wonder why Lit doesn't appear to have a GLBT board !!

 

[Etoile]

I often wonder why Lit doesn't appear to have a GLBT board !!

Hey, that is a damn good point. Does anybody have an answer to this?

 

[InnerDarkness]

I am young enough that my parents are pretty young, so I dont think I have to worry about giving them heart attacks or anything, but I seriously can not wrap my mind around trying to explain any of this to my mother. She remarried a Southern Baptist Minister (please...no analysis needed on whether this impacted how I turned out ) when I was in fifth grade and at that point seemed to stop having any sexual thoughts of her own (yeah, right!) But seriously...I know my mother is a sexual being just from all the things I found in her nightstand drawers when I was younger, but I think telling this all to her would push her over the edge of her fragile existance.

My bio-dad on the other hand...oh shit...he would probably want full details. Since he didnt really raise me, we have more of a friendship than a father/daughter thing going on....and he has always been VERY open about sexuality, probably more so than he should have been (took me to see Heavy Metal in the movie theatres when it came out...i was seven ). I watched my first porn with him, smoked and drank with him the first times, he knows about my sexual experiences, I know about his (sometimes way too much about his!)...so I dont really think he would even bat an eye...

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL I hadn't seen that questionnaire before

What I can never figure out is why female swingers have sex with other women and then say that they are 100% straight.. and why men who give other men BJs say they are 100% straight too.. I reckon there are loads of ppl on the GB who are pretty much confused.. and I often wonder why Lit doesn't appear to have a GLBT board !!

Is a great book, 'She's My Wife, He's Just Sex'....can't remember the author of the study until my shipping arrives. Another thing we have wondered is why there is a serious lack of gay BDSM males represented on Literotica.


Catalina

 

[Master Bertch]

telling my parents

I don't think they'd be all that surprised. I have a tendency to shock them every now and then(substance abuse, surprise moves, bringing home bi-racial babies). In the last few years, I've come out and shared most of my emotional baggage with them(they might as well know what they helped create )
I think my dad would simply shake his head and disregard it completely. My mother on the other hand, a natural fatalist, would be driven further into her depression. This is My lifestyle choice, and I will explore this as far as I can with My beloved. She is a loving woman and I'm happy to have her with me.

So when I saw "Have you told your parents?" , my immediate thought was "Why would I?"

 

[FungiUg]

The Heterosexual Questionnaire

What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

Ingrained biological urges, and lesbian envy.

When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?

I think I have always been heterosexual, but it took me some time to come accept it. I tried denying it for many years, but at the age of 22, I gave in, and lost my heterosexual virginity.

Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

Quite possible. Perhaps if I meet the right man...?

Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

No, I don't fear men. Many of my best friends are men. I think I'm just perverted.

If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay or lesbian lover?

It's possible. But I have had a lesbian lover... and all it did was make me want to be a lesbian! But they wouldn't let me join! They're sexist!

To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did he or she react?

My lovers know, and my friends. But I haven't told my parents. Most of them took it fairly well, although my ex-wife did leave me because of it.

Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your life-style?

I can't help it! I see a cute woman, and I just, well, I want to fuck her! I'm shallow, I know... *hangs head in shame*

Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Why can't you just be what you are and keep quiet about it?

I tried to be quiet about it, really I did! But after my ex-wife left me for a woman... well, all these women started hitting on me. It was bizarre. And so all my hidden fantasies came to the fore, and I realised just how truely perverted I really was. And now, well, I just can't stop!

Would you want your children to be heterosexual knowing the problems that they'd face?

It's a hard choice. Perhaps they would be best just going for celibate?

A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

I do worry about that. I often worry about that. I lay awake at nights worrying about that. But what can I do? After all, it would be hypocritical of me to object, since I myself am heterosexual.

With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

I think that's a really unfair question! After all, gay and bi-sexual people have relationship problems too! Don't they?

Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

It's true, I do that. I'm perverted. All I can do is think about fucking women. And using them like sluts.

Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?

Enforced euthenasia.

Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear she/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

I think it would depend on the individual. After all, we have to worry about that with doctors, lawyers and accountants as well. Oh my goodness, now I am really worried!

How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality, and fail to develop you natural, healthy homosexual potential?

It's true, I feel I am missing out on half of the population as available lovers. But... I have come to accept my limitations.

There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

No, I like my perversion. Perhaps if I really wanted to change...

(I just couldn't resist!)

 

[FungiUg]

LOL I hadn't seen that questionnaire before

What I can never figure out is why female swingers have sex with other women and then say that they are 100% straight.. and why men who give other men BJs say they are 100% straight too.. I reckon there are loads of ppl on the GB who are pretty much confused.. and I often wonder why Lit doesn't appear to have a GLBT board !!

Dunno. I guess it's a "mental image" vs "reality" thing. People do that all the time though. We are very good at lying to ourselves.

Apparently (according to one psychologist I spoke with), everyone is bi-sexual. But we move around on the scale, and who we are attracted to depends on many factors, and they can vary as well. It's all rarther complicated.

 

[Never]

Etoile:
"Hey, that is a damn good point. Does anybody have an answer to this?"

I do. We never asked for one.
Auxiliary question: who is the we?

Forums don't spring like Athena from Laurel's head.

 

[emer]

What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

Ingrained biological urges, and lesbian envy.

When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?

I think I have always been heterosexual, but it took me some time to come to grips with it. I tried for denying it for many years, but at the age of 22, I gave in, and lost my heterosexual virginity.

Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

Quite possible. Perhaps if I meet the right man...?

Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

No, I don't fear men. Many of my best friends are men. I think I'm just perverted.

If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay or lesbian lover?

It's possible. But I have had a lesbian lover... and all it did was make me want to be a lesbian! But they wouldn't let me join! They're sexist!

To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did he or she react?

My lovers know, and my friends. But I haven't told my parents. Most of them took it fairly well, although my ex-wife did leave me because of it.

Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your life-style?

I can't help it! I see a cute woman, and I just, well, I want to fuck her! I'm shallow, I know... *hangs head in shame*

Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Why can't you just be what you are and keep quiet about it?

I tried to be quiet about it, really I did! But after my ex-wife left me for a woman... well, all these women started hitting on me. It was bizarre. And so all my hidden fantasies came to the fore, and I realised just how truely perverted I really was. And now, well, I just can't stop!

Would you want your children to be heterosexual knowing the problems that they'd face?

It's a hard choice. Perhaps they would be best just going for celibate?

A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

I do worry about that. I often worry about that. I lay awake at nights worrying about that. But what can I do? After all, it would be hypocritical of me to object, since I myself am heterosexual.

With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

I think that's a really unfair question! After all, gay and bi-sexual people have relationship problems too!

Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

It's true, I do that. I'm perverted. All I can do is think about fucking women. And using them like sluts.

Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?

Enforced euthenasia.

Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear she/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

I think it would depend on the individual. After all, we have to worry about that with doctors, lawyers and accountants as well.

How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality, and fail to develop you natural, healthy homosexual potential?

It's true, I feel I am missing out on half of the population as available lovers. But... I have come to accept my limitations.

There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

No, I like my perversion. Perhaps if I really wanted to change...

(I just couldn't resist!)

That was absolutely Hilarious!!!

Thanks,
emer

 

[Mr Blonde]

Here's a question - do any of your parents know that you're into BDSM?

Never really felt the need to tell them. My dad was helping me move right after college and accidently found one of my whips. I had tried to pack up all the sex stuff stuff before he got there but had forgotten one whip hanging in the closet with my belts. He picked it up, gave me a quizzical look to say "oh my" and then just put it back on the hook. Wonder what he thought later when he met some of my ex-girlfriends? Oh well, I have no reason to flaunt it or to hide it.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

haven't told the folks although they have seen a bruise or too just above my ass in which they looked at me liked they knew but they haven't said anyting...

 

[Ebonyfire]

lol ah, hello guys? No one needs to come out as heterosexual as it is assumed. It's also why people have to choose or not choose to come out as kinky, because 'vanilla' is assumed.

And that is why the first three letters of the word assume is ASS! LOL.

Assumption is the mother of all fuckups. So anything anyone assumes about me is not my business, and I would not care if it was.

If they do not contribute to my betterment, then I don't "give a rat's ass".

 

[Ebonyfire]

LOL...My mother still thinks I'm a virgin.....and I think it wouldn't go down too well if she knew that I liked to be spanked while I'm having sex....nuh uh...I don't think so.

My mother (rest her soul) NEVER thought I was a virgin!

 

[Croctden]

ehh

Surprisingly I have not told them, but I have oh so many excuses. I don't tell them lots of things. I try to limit how much they can interference in my life. I think I've mentioned I like controlling and spanking women. If my folks split I'd probably tell my dad.

And I want to avoid the drama. I have this second hand because I was about eight at the time, but when my brother came out I gather it was a fucking massacre. Surprisingly my fairly liberal dad did not take it well (his sister is a lesbian so you'd think he'd be prepared). I don't press too much, but I think there are still some bitter feelings on all sides. For a long time it was the great unspoken at the dinner table. Eventually that pissed me off and I kept talking about it until we got more comfortable. It's not really a subject of conversation, but now he feels comfortable talking about going to pride events, etc. He's even brought a couple of boyfriends home. I don't know, it's still not easy. I get pissed when people gay bash, and I try to be cool with my brother, but I don't go to gay clubs with him. But on the other hand I'm sometimes uncomfortable when we he gets all feminine around guy. I once asked if he pitches or catches.

 

[FungiUg]

Hey, that is a damn good point. Does anybody have an answer to this?

Maybe because no one asked for one? Try asking, see what happens would be my suggestion, if you think it's a lack.

 

[Etoile]

Maybe because no one asked for one? Try asking, see what happens would be my suggestion, if you think it's a lack.

I thought about it, and then I decided I wouldn't know what to discuss there. Aw hell, should I just PM Laurel and ask about it?

 

[FungiUg]

I thought about it, and then I decided I wouldn't know what to discuss there. Aw hell, should I just PM Laurel and ask about it?

Chuckle

Why not, indeed? After all, did you wander into the BDSM forum knowing what you were going to chat about ahead of time?

Put it out there as an experiment, ignore the "you should have consulted everyone on the board first" outcries, and see who turns up and what the discussions are. Could be fun!

 

[James G 5]

My mom knows....I've never come right out & said it but I share a home with my folks to help support them & wear shirts with sadomasochism messages & have dropped crops on the bed while I was away & they were in my side of the house feedingthe cats & such
Plus she's seen my web page where I discuss it & have pics posted of me playing, altho I doubt she looked at the pics
And I'm sure my evil Ex compounded her lies about my infidelity with tales of my burgeoining D/s interests
But I've always had a very good open relationship with mom & there's been no issue

My stepdad is kind of oblivious & doesn't wanna know LOL
He's a real keep quiet & personal kind of guy
Since I live my life VERy publically & out loud, I'm sure he's NOTICED some things but just ignored them
(He HAD to have noticed whrn Pouty & I were out in the back yard taking naked bondage pics of Moonie that one time....)

My real dad is an asshole & I don't bother to talk to him about my life PERIOD

 

[ammre]

I went to a club that had a dungeon night on fridays and afterward i told my mom what happened in an almost joking tone making it sound like nothing big. (you tell them enough and they stop asking questions about the rest)
The theory would have worked if it werne't for the fact that while i was away at college i had left some whips at home... and well mother decided to clean my room and give me a new rug. (meaning moving the bed...) and she found them. She never said anything but she's a smart lady. (I know she found them because they I had them under the mattress, when i came home they were ont he bookshelf next to/behind my bed)

Me and my mom have a good relationship, almost friend like. we don't share dirty details but we are open to eachother. She knows i have my hood pierced and she knows me and my boyfriend engage in sexual activities. There's only 2 things i don't think she'll be finding out for a long time 1) i've had multiple sex partners (sex before marrage is ok if there's love, one night stands are a no-no) 2)I'm bisexual and my old friend beth is more like ex-girlfriend beth....

my father is not blind either but everything is either unspoken or my mom tells him.

Honestly, my sister is probably the least likely to know anything about my sex life.

 

[Etoile]

Okay, I've just PM'd Laurel about a GLBT Board. We'll see what comes of it.

 

[FungiUg]

Okay, I've just PM'd Laurel about a GLBT Board. We'll see what comes of it.

Cool! Well done! Let us know how you get on.

 

[Etoile]

Cool! Well done! Let us know how you get on.

Oh, but you don't want to know how I get off?

I've been exchanging PMs with Laurel...keep your eyes open!

 

[yaspis]

No, I'm not going to tell them.
When I was younger, I tried to tell my mother many times about my bisexuality. We are ver close, and I didn't want her getting confused, seeing me kiss girls too. Her reply was always along these lines: "Well, everyone has that kind of thoughts when they're young, but it is nothing to worry about. It'll pass." The same kind of reply was given when I was 15 and I tried to tell her about me being Pagan. I tried to make her understand why I didn't want to go to church's confirmation camp. She's a wonderful mother, but I don't think I could bear any more of those "don't be silly"-looks. I'd understand her reaction if I had been one of those kids who change their minds every minute. These things were something serious and dear to me - so is BDSM. If she can't accept her child being Pagan and bisexual, then I doubt my kink would be a bit over the top for her.

And my father? If I told him any of the things described earlier on my post, he'd deny me being his daughter. 'Nuff said.