Has anyone here ever forgiven someone just because they were dying?

[RESPECTBIRTHDAY]

My wife has never had any relationship with her mother. She has only spoken to her a handful of times in the 12 years that we have been married, and my mother-in-law has had no real interest in my son in the close to 8 years since he was born. My M.I.L has now been diagnosed with A.L.S in Febuary and is progressing so fast that she is already confined to a chair in her living room and has trouble making it to the bathroom by herself. Anyway now that she is dying everyone is treating her like she is a saint and are going out of there way to do everything they can for her. My wife and myself have had no contact with her in a while. I have not seen her since Christmas Eve, and my wife has not had contact with her since Febuary. All her Aunts are mad at her because they feel she is going to regret not telling her she loves her before she dies. My wife has made her peace with the entire situation and wants to move forward and I am standing by her side because I know first hand just what kind of a selfish person my m.i.l is. I was just wondering if anyone here has ever forgiven someone who they never had any relationship with just because they were dying?

 

[Image]

My wife has never had any relationship with her mother. She has only spoken to her a handful of times in the 12 years that we have been married, and my mother-in-law has had no real interest in my son in the close to 8 years since he was born. My M.I.L has now been diagnosed with A.L.S in Febuary and is progressing so fast that she is already confined to a chair in her living room and has trouble making it to the bathroom by herself. Anyway now that she is dying everyone is treating her like she is a saint and are going out of there way to do everything they can for her. My wife and myself have had no contact with her in a while. I have not seen her since Christmas Eve, and my wife has not had contact with her since Febuary. All her Aunts are mad at her because they feel she is going to regret not telling her she loves her before she dies. My wife has made her peace with the entire situation and wants to move forward and I am standing by her side because I know first hand just what kind of a selfish person my m.i.l is. I was just wondering if anyone here has ever forgiven someone who they never had any relationship with just because they were dying?

Just because you share a little DNA with someone it doesn't mean you automatically owe them forgiveness...

 

[RESPECTBIRTHDAY]

Just because you share a little DNA with someone it doesn't mean you automatically owe them forgiveness...

Thank You! My wife is going to love that one and even use it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Its an impossible situation that promises years of stress and grief and turbulence. The family wants your wife to take care of their feelings. She cant. The best she can do in the circumstances is to appease them for now, but theyll be back when something else comes along.

I was young when my target person died, and it was 16 years before I visited the grave, and another 20 years before I made the 2nd visit. It took me a long time to sort it all out and feel OK.

 

[fluffPE]

This makes me sad. Thanks Image.

 

[Minalick]

Just because someone is dying doesn't mean everything they did in their life has been swiped away. If someone treated you badly, they don't automatically get a free-pass to forgiveness just because they are dying.

My mother and I have never had a great relationship.
She has always made it clear that I was the extra one she never wanted and how much of a burden I was. It has taken a lot, I mean a lot, for me to get to the point where I'm ok and I can move on. I don't talk to her very often and mostly it's just to keep the peace and everything fake between us.

If I found out she was dying, it wouldn't change how I feel about her. She chose to treat me the way she did, she made her choices in her life, she is responsible for those choices. Not me. I wouldn't all of a sudden be upset to lose her and this isn't something I would regret after she passed away.

But I know how hard it is when you have family pressuring you and making you feel like the bad guy.

Your wife should do only as much as she is ok with and can live with. If she wants to do more then she would like to, just to keep the peace... Honestly there's nothing really wrong with that. Although its not fun, for sure.

But otherwise, she knows what she's ok with it. She shouldn't have to pretzel herself just so that others can pat her on the back and tell her she's a good girl.

 

[LadyVer]

Because you forgive someone, doesn't automatically mean you want to be in the same room with them. Especially a family member who basically wasn't much of a family member beforehand. Because someone gets a disease they don't automatically get kicked into sainthood.

 

[Bert Notorius]

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 

[KRCummings]

I try to forgive them but they usually can't hear me because they're begging and crying and praying, saying they won't tell anyone if I let them go. I know they will but I forgive them for lying like that.