Give me some bad advice

[Taegul]

I always keep some plastic surgeons' business cards handy for passing out. Women love it when you look out for them.

BOGO boobs ftw.

 

[WerdNerd]

If you want really hot sex use Ben Gay as lube.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

If she didn't want you to stare at her boobs all night she would have worn a turtleneck sweater. Stop looking at her eyes when she talks

 

[ydahecnot]

Tell her to make you the damn sammich

 

[WerdNerd]

Tell him his penis is not really as big as he thinks it is.

That's not bad advice. A lie but still good advice.

 

[Btq97]

Strain the lumpa from that old carton if milk and hey presto cheap cottage cheese

 

[ericrodman101]

Book a table at a live sex venue. The food won’t be great, but otherwise it’s perfect for a first date with that potential special someone. If you really want to impress her, make it a live gay sex venue, and ask for the front row.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

During sex, pull out your bullhorn and yell “STROKE, STROKE…” for added excitement.

 

[ReadyForMore22]

Y’all are fantastic!!!

I’m sure if I follow completely it would be a date for the record books

 

[ReadyForMore22]

Wear a Go-Pro on a head mount.

Hmmm how can I live stream dinner

 

[ReadyForMore22]

Don't tip toe into the interesting stuff. Tell her you kinkiest fetishes right from the start.

Women HATE it when a man takes his time and slowly builds up to stuff.

If I could only wear an ear piece and pay you to guide me

 

[ReadyForMore22]

Remember, she doesn't really want to hear about you. She wants to hear about your last girlfriend. Don't stop talking about your ex, let it dominate the conversation. She'll fall for you much faster that way.

That would even kill any boner I had

 

[saustin5432]

You can really only pull this off once a year, but when your server comes to take your order, shoo them away and state to your date, "I got this." Then proceed to pull leftover turkey and stuffing out of your pockets.

 

[ReadyForMore22]

You can really only pull this off once a year, but when your server comes to take your order, shoo them away and state to your date, "I got this." Then proceed to pull leftover turkey and stuffing out of your pockets.

Should I ask if she’s got any gravy ?

 

[ReadyForMore22]

UPDATE. Drinks went great. Very attractive, friendly, felt nice. 10 minutes after out matchmakers left, we’re at dinner and her babysitter calls saying her child is sick. She has to leave. I offered to walk to car, she says she ubered, and orders Uber. Poof. Will give benefit of the doubt but ugh

Never got to use the bad advice

Eating by self (first course is my pride)

Oh well, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger

 

[ThePitViper]

Chili dogs are full of fiber and protein.

On the day of a big meeting at work, consume three or four chili dogs for your breakfast. That way, the fiber and protein will give you an advantage during the meeting.

For added vegetable nutrients, add lots of onions.

 

[Cymru9696]

Don’t invest. Ever!
Save Folger’s coffee cans to bury your earnings in the backyard.

With what remains, buy crypto.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Build your own village! Take a viagra or two, wreak havoc on unsuspecting women (grandmothers included) and colonize your own land!

 

[Taegul]

Learn the lyrics to this song and sing your heart out when driving her to your first date.

 

[Btq97]

If you have rouble getting up in the morning and are worried you will miss an early interview. Best to stay up all night. Drink plenty of strong black coffee.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Y’all are fantastic!!!

I’m sure if I follow completely it would be a date for the record books

Well how did it go?

 

[MrZeno]

Use the Phillips head. It won’t matter much.

 

[Mrtenant]

Pour milk all over your naked self, then see their reaction

 

[Btq97]

If you are only a bit drunk drive home very fast and give the police less time to catch you.

 

[fisherfella]

sure, stick your finger in there..