Get bf to try anal...

[Vikki_xo]

Never had this problem before

As i've said in my other post, my bf is very vanilla. When I've tried getting him to try anal or rimming he's said he's not into in. i REALLY miss it. When we were playing earlier I tried rubbing his cock there & he said it turns him off

Is he a lost cause?!

 

[mrk829]

it will take time

never say never. but it would take time to break him down. i have the opposite problem-i cant get my girl to try it although she knows it is my biggest fantasy. and yes i am looking to explore while she is somewhat vanilla.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Think about it like this...

If he wanted to do something you didn't want to, what would get you to try it? Don't pester him. Reward him.

 

[SweetErika]

You can't get someone to do something they don't want to do without causing harm to your relationship.

Have you asked him WHY he finds anal play/sex distasteful in a nonconfrontational way? Maybe you could obtain info that you could use to find ways to play that don't bother him. For instance, if he's a germaphobe, barriers like gloves, condoms and/or using toys could be a workaround. If he's disgusted by it because he believe anal play is "gay" and "gay is gross," then at least you know you're dealing with someone who's ignorant at best and a serious homophobe at worst, right?

In this case, I'd suggest proposing a compromise. Tell him how you find anal play to be incredibly exciting because that area is packed with nerve endings, but you recognize that it may not be his thing, and you'd never want to pressure him into something he's uncomfortable with. Basically, recognize and validate his feelings. Then ask him if using an anal toy might be compromise that works for him. Maybe he'll think about it and decide using a toy on you would be fine, but either way, it seems like it might be reasonable for you to use an anal toy on yourself while you two are doing other things. Hopefully he'd see that as you getting the stimulation you enjoy without him having to participate in ways he finds distasteful.

In the end, if you can't compromise and/or vanilla + no anal is a dealbreaker, then you're probably going to want to end the relationship and seek someone who's more sexually compatible.

 

[munch2much]

I avoided it for ages but eventually dipped my erm ...feet? Hmm
Well, there is always hope ha ha

 

[subwannabe]

Maybe you could make a trade.

 

[Little Bird]

I have a very high aversion to get near anything that is new and which I don't understand and won't ever consider anything before I have a complete understanding of what to expect. It's increased by my ADD, but I think most people really don't like to jump into cold water and see what happens, even if asked by someone they trust.
What I think works very well in such situations is to allow people to first watch from a distance without commiting to anything. It's the same thing I always reply to men who want to get their partner into anal sex. If they are hesitating, show them how you use it to bring pleasure to yourself. There are probably not that many people around who would agree to do at least this much for their girlfriends.
When he sees how much you enjoy it, he might be more willing to take over a toy for you or use his own fingers. And in cases like this you can then offer to do the same for him if he wants to know what it's all about. If he reclines, that's always okay, but if he is courious and still not entirely sure about the whole thing it might help a bit to show him how much it means to you.
And if you usually don't use condoms in your relationship, you can still get some just for the occasion.

 

[PhilGarlic]

training

Think about it like this...

If he wanted to do something you didn't want to, what would get you to try it? Don't pester him. Reward him.

Like training a dog