From the "Are you kidding me" file

Cathleen

Summer breeze...
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
Posts
31,006
Madoff hires consultant to shop for best prison

Bernie Madoff is not going gentle into that good night of prison life. Instead, he has hired a top prison consultant to help him find the best possible joint in which to spend the rest of his life.

Herb Hoelter, CEO of the National Center on Institutions and Alternatives (NCIA), has provided the same service to other high-profile felons, including Ivan Boesky, Michael Milken and Sotheby's Alfred Taubman.

Madoff will certainly not be eligible for one of the country-club prisons, given the despicable nature of his crimes, but his team will want to be prepared with arguments why he should not be thrown into a hellhole with the worst of violent offenders, such as the Administrative Maximum facility in Florence, Colorado. I suspect that many of his victims, on the other hand, would be delighted to see him locked up with murderers, rapists, terrorists and Jew-hating white supremacists.

According to the London Times, the 150-year sentence Madoff received makes him ineligible for any of the Club Fed prisons. The U.S. Bureau of Prisons uses a "Security Point Total," which represents a prisoner's risk, to determine the level of security the prisoner requires. Depending on his number, Madoff could be assigned to facilities ranging from a minimum-security prison camp (as in Martha's Stewart's stretch at Camp Cupcake) to a "Supermax" facility.

So far, Madoff has spent his time in a maximum-security environment at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York. Hoelter said, "He has been incarcerated under very difficult conditions in these past months. Anywhere he goes is likely to be better than where he is now, unless they throw him into the Supermax . . . He will be able to get exercise. He will be able to do something that makes him productive. He may be able to tutor other inmates."


At sentencing, the judge recommended that Madoff be sent to a low- or medium-security prison in the Northeast. However, this decision is left solely up to the Bureau of Prisons. Madoff will have Hoelter's recommendations to put forth if he's given a chance to make his case .

Boesky served his time at the Lompoc Federal Prison, aka Club Fed West. Mike Milken served 22 months at a minimum-security prison in Pleasanton, California. Taubman spent his nine and a half months at the Federal Medical Center in Rochester, Minnesota, getting medical care on the government dime. Taubman's book, Threshold Resistance, contains some prison advice Madoff may find useful, such as making friends, keeping a pleasant demeanor, and bringing reading material. I'd add one; don't try to start a cigarette investment fund. Eventually, someone will invest a shiv.


When only the best jail cell will do


The sheer gall of it all.

This photo just sums him up I think...

http://images.publicradio.org/content/2008/12/19/20081219_bernard_madoff_23.jpg
 
Last edited:
I saw that. I don't know if Madoff's got cajones or if he's just that stupid.
 
Michael Jackson funeral circus


This whole thing seems like we're all in "Neverland" with the media...but when I think about who's footing the bill it's more like "Wonderland."
 
Tutor Other Inmates....?!

IN WHAT?! "How to win friends and be popular?!"
 
People with lots of money get to live in a different world than the peasants. It doesn't really matter how you got the money. Singing, dancing, gambling, crime, sports, etc.

Then the media get to tell us all about their lifestyles, and we get to go "oohhhh! I wish I could be like that!" and we feel connected to them, and fuzzy inside. And the real news goes unheard while we gobble at the media entertainment chum they keep tossing in the water. Fun times.

But sure, if you were Bernie, wouldn't you be doing the same thing? And why is he hiring a consultant? Because he can.

Why can he? The system sucks, Bob.

He'll live cushy for the rest of his life, just like the other criminals getting a roof, 3 squares, and whatever other goodies they can get inside. Sure, it might not be lush, but it is compared to living on the streets and eating out of the trash eh?
 
RuneBlade said:
Sure, it might not be lush, but it is compared to living on the streets and eating out of the trash eh?
You mean like some of the people who lost everything they had because of him?
 
i missed it the first time around but i really liked the last sentence in the article. :>

ed
 
Okay, I'm taking bets...5:1 on six months before he gets shanked, 7:1 three months 2:1 one year. Whaddya say? Anyone buying in?
 
Jul 8th 2009 By Emily Tan


Teen Tries to Auction Off Naked Pics of Mom

Friends & FamilyWeird News

While most teens would freak out at the sight of their mother in her skivvies, Michael, an 18-year-old New Zealander, saw his mom's nudity as a good opportunity to make some money.

The young Kiwi tried to auction off "five naked photos of Mum" to annoy her after the pair had an argument, he told the Herald on Sunday newspaper. Apparently his parents told him he could sell any "unwanted items" found in the family's garage on the auction site Trade Me (think eBay for that hemisphere).

Trade Me took down the auction the next day, deeming it inappropriate content. However, this didn't stop Michael from creating a new set of "glamour" shots (including an underwear pic) of which mom, Jennifer, approved. Unfortunately for this family, Trade Me pulled this off the auction block as well.

While most mothers would be relieved to have this off the Web, Jennifer is a bit ticked off.

"They are quite artistic," she said. "There is nothing dodgy about them. I wanted 50 percent of the sale, but more than that I miss the nice comments."


src
 
'Punctuation hero' branded a vandal for painting apostrophes on street signs.

After enduring sloppy punctuation on the street sign outside his home for more than a year, Stefan Gatward could stand it no longer.

The 62-year-old former soldier decided to launch a one-man crusade against 'dumbed down' Britain, and picked up a paintbrush to insert a missing apostrophe.

This turned the incorrect St Johns Close into the correct St John's Close.


But he was immediately accused of being a vandal by one neighbour, and his amendments have been scratched off by others who apparently prefer the wrong version...
 
Cops: Man Holds Mom Hostage When She Refuses to Iron

Updated: 27 minutes ago
David Moye, Contributor

AOL News (July 12) -- A man in Villa Rica, Ga., is behind iron bars after allegedly holding his mother hostage because she would not iron his clothes.

Robert Edward Tyrrell Jr., 29, has been charged with aggravated assault and false imprisonment in connection with the June 29 incident and may be ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

Sgt. Marc Griffith of the Carroll County Sheriff's Office told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that Tyrrell became upset when his mother would not iron his clothes, so he held her at gunpoint and insisted the task was a "woman's job."

"He wanted her to do some ironing, and when she said 'No,' they got into an argument," Griffith said. "He told her, 'Ironing is woman's work.' "

Tyrrell pressed the issue, but when they weren't able to iron out their differences, he refused to let his mom leave for at least six hours, official said, but she eventually was able to get out and drive to a police station to report the incident.

Deputies were sent to the home, and, according to the Times-Georgian, Sgt. Mike Lavoie, a negotiator with the sheriff's office, spoke to Tyrrell.

"[Lavoie] did speak with him for a good while, talking with him to make sure the situation did not escalate," Griffith said. "He was able to talk him into stepping outside and turning himself in. The rest went down without incident, which is a good thing. We didn't have a long, drawn-out standoff, and no one was hurt."

Tyrrell is in jail with no bond. His first court appearance is scheduled for later this month.

Filed under: Weird News, Crime <---- this made me really lol


src
 
Wow, that's quite the WTF moment there.

Hopefully drugs or something was involved because if that guy wasn't high, he's got serious problems.
 
I hope drugs/alcohol were involved but no amount of drugs/alcohol aren't going to get him an attitude adjustment about 'woman's work'.
 
If only he had known the secret to no more ironing.

Throw away the iron:
Spray your clothes with no more ironing mixture.

A bottle of water (one litre) and lavender oil (one teaspoon).
 
Back
Top