For those that may need a laugh

[Alyx]

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . ..not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

 

[Guest]

Forty-nine to go.

 

[Nora]

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

That line alone was worth the price of admission.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I kept reading the title of this thread as For those that may need a bath.

 

[Nora]

I kept reading the title of this thread as For those that may need a bath.

It's the power of suggestion. Go take a bath and laugh while you do it?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Come tickle me.

 

[Nora]

How about I come crawl into your bed and pass out? I think that's all I'm good for tonight.

 

[Rubyfruit]

No, that's perfect, and exactly what I'm going to be doing momentarily.

I hope my vibrator doesn't keep you up.

*muah*

 

[Nora]

You mean, rotten tease. I'll get you for that, my pretty! *evil cackle*

 

[Cleopatra]

See what kinds of suggestive conversations you walk into in perfectly ordinary funny threads?













I want in.

 

[Nora]

Cleo!! I was just thinking about you not 20 minutes ago. I was looking up some Passover stuff and came across an article that looked interesting, so I read it. About halfway down (after discussing all the preparations for it) I read a sentence that reminded me of your thread "you know you've been on Lit too long when..."

The sentence was: After all the preparations are completed, the climax is reached at the Seder Table.

*snort*

 

[Cleopatra]

Cleo!! I was just thinking about you not 20 minutes ago. I was looking up some Passover stuff and came across an article that looked interesting, so I read it. About halfway down (after discussing all the preparations for it) I read a sentence that reminded me of your thread "you know you've been on Lit too long when..."

The sentence was: After all the preparations are completed, the climax is reached at the Seder Table.

*snort*

*grins* Good one....That's going to haunt my religious dinners from now on.

 

[Nora]

heheheh! Mom asked me to bring Eumenides to the 2nd night seder. I oh-so-politely declined. Although, I do always giggle at the part about "freeing our people from bondage."

 

[Cleopatra]

heheheh! Mom asked me to bring Eumenides to the 2nd night seder. I oh-so-politely declined. Although, I do always giggle at the part about "freeing our people from bondage."

Reminds me distantly of my dad asking me after I'd come home from a date, "How'd you make out?"

I never did know how to answer that one.