Fantasy or Reality

[mansome]

Since the Internet generation began with chatrooms, cybersex, instant messaging, e-mail and other tools for people across the country to feel "connected" to each other, There's been a sense that Fantasy is much better than Reality...

Especially with the global epidemic of aids and other sexually transmitted diseases.. the thought of fantasizing on the internet with others has almost become an alternative to sex as the ultimate safe sex....

I've contended all along that Reality is much better than any Fantasy...

although fantasies, pics, and visualization have enhanced masturbation and stimulated the thoughts and expectations of being with someone you never met, there is no replacement for the real thing.....


Even the worse mutual sexual encounter is better than any fantasy I could drum up...... without the physicality of the sexual experience with someone else it's really no use for me.

You see many role playing rooms, cybersex rooms, and fetish rooms that are specialty places ment to help enhance experiences.


So I pose this question.... CAN fantasy be better than reality?

I think not... just like truth is Always stranger than fiction..... reality is always better than fantasy....

let me know what you think.....

 

[WantonWitch]

After spending the last year with nothing but fantasy I can honestly say it doesn't even come close to the real thing.

 

[jeforest]

I disagree. Fantasy is just that. An UNreality that remains that way. If the fantasy is fulfilled it no longer is a fantasy thus a reality. I'd be willing to say that the real thing is never as imagined in the fantasy.

In saying that, fantasy should always be better than reality because in our fantasy world, we make "it" to be what we want it to be. In life, it rarely happens. And by no means am I saying that life sucks, yadda, yadda, yadda... I'm simply saying that fantasy is a much happier place when we have the time to be there.

 

[mansome]

After spending the last year with nothing but fantasy I can honestly say it doesn't even come close to the real thing.

a Year? Yikes.....
I'm so sorry....... *hugs*

You see people saying a cyber-relationship is just as satisfying as a physical relationship for many reasons....... I don't buy it..

I can't see how anyone can love someone else without ever meeting them....

but, I guess I'm in the minority here in that respect...

 

[WantonWitch]

a Year? Yikes.....
I'm so sorry....... *hugs*

You see people saying a cyber-relationship is just as satisfying as a physical relationship for many reasons....... I don't buy it..

I can't see how anyone can love someone else without ever meeting them....

but, I guess I'm in the minority here in that respect...

Aww Thanks hun

I can't see a cyber relationship even coming close to the real thing no matter how good your imagination is..... nothing can beat the feeling of another human being actually in your arms.
Hearing their heartbeat, their breath.......... nope, fantasy doesn't even scratch the surface.

 

[babydoll2u]

a Year? Yikes.....
I'm so sorry....... *hugs*

You see people saying a cyber-relationship is just as satisfying as a physical relationship for many reasons....... I don't buy it..

I can't see how anyone can love someone else without ever meeting them....

but, I guess I'm in the minority here in that respect...

I fell in love with someone online before I met him....
we talked on the phone, im, pm, email for quite a while before we met... He fell in love with me as well, he said.

it has alot to do with getting to know someone mentally, psychologically, emotionally... finding out their interests, wants, needs, desires, hurts, past, present... all without the physical getting in the way. It's a wonderful way to get to know someone.

 

[mansome]

I fell in love with someone online before I met him....
we talked on the phone, im, pm, email for quite a while before we met... He fell in love with me as well, he said.

it has alot to do with getting to know someone mentally, psychologically, emotionally... finding out their interests, wants, needs, desires, hurts, past, present... all without the physical getting in the way. It's a wonderful way to get to know someone.

I can see getting a "sense" of someone without physically meeting them.... but the nonverbal cues you can decipher from someone besides hearing their words are imeasurable.... text is text.. words are words..... but feelings through physical contact are what it's all about.....

 

[babydoll2u]

I can see getting a "sense" of someone without physically meeting them.... but the nonverbal cues you can decipher from someone besides hearing their words are imeasurable.... text is text.. words are words..... but feelings through physical contact are what it's all about.....

I disagree.... but that's ok too

 

[jeforest]

I don't disagree with that at all. Infact I agree whole heartedly... BUT the fantasy and the internet are two separate entities completely and that is the fault of us, the users. Masturbating to words typed on a screen isn't fantasy, it's desire, it;s a craving. To me, a fantasy is something one dreams of, something we keep in our minds not to be transferred elsewhere.

 

[babydoll2u]

I wasn't talking about masturbating or sex at all....

I was talking about feelings, the ability to fall in love without physical contact...
the mental and emotional contact with someone every day, talking about thoughts and feelings and desires and those things deep inside of us...

yes it is possible to fall for someone without having had physical contact... I've done it and I know others who have as well

 

[mansome]

I disagree.... but that's ok too

wow.. you disagree with my point of view.. yet you did it without name calling or hostility?

yikes..... it can happen.. *L*

we just have different vantage points.. doesn't mean either of us are right or wrong..... *hugs*

 

[spiritshadow67]

I wasn't talking about masturbating or sex at all....

I was talking about feelings, the ability to fall in love without physical contact...
the mental and emotional contact with someone every day, talking about thoughts and feelings and desires and those things deep inside of us...

yes it is possible to fall for someone without having had physical contact... I've done it and I know others who have as well

I agree with peggy ... you can develop feelings, just by chatting with someone .... my last serious relationship started with us chatting - we did this for about a year before we physically met...

I think that you can develop strong feelings, I don't know if I could go so far as to say love... That I feel you need to have the physical contact.

That is what I miss the most is the physical contact = there's nothing like feeling your partner snuggle up behind you in the am wrap their arms around you and kiss you on the back of the neck.

 

[jeforest]

I agree with peggy ... you can develop feelings, just by chatting with someone .... my last serious relationship started with us chatting - we did this for about a year before we physically met...

I think that you can develop strong feelings, I don't know if I could go so far as to say love... That I feel you need to have the physical contact.

That is what I miss the most is the physical contact = there's nothing like feeling your partner snuggle up behind you in the am wrap their arms around you and kiss you on the back of the neck.

But isn't all that getting away from the fantasy factor.

I'm not questioning whether one can fall in love with someone they've not met... I've not done it but I'm just me.

Love is not fantasy and if fantasy causes love can you sincerely call it love?

 

[mansome]

I've seen people say they are in love with someone they never met....have feelings after chatting for weeks or months...

and then when they plan to meet they've gotta do it in a neutral place because it's safe.....

well, fuck. you can't be afraid of your safety with someone you are "in love" with...

there is NO doubt in my mind that the internet has trivialized the meaning of love and cheapened it's importance in general....


not for me.. I covet that emotion as the highest... and THAT is the only true Fantasy that's better than reality.. the unknown... the nirvana of never attaining that true love so that every day when you think you've found it.. there's Always another step you can take with the person who you have found as your "soulmate"

 

[spiritshadow67]

But isn't all that getting away from the fantasy factor.

I'm not questioning whether one can fall in love with someone they've not met... I've not done it but I'm just me.

Love is not fantasy and if fantasy causes love can you sincerely call it love?

I don't think so... about the fantasy causin love.....

i think in ways your mind can deceive you into thinking that this fantasy might be more than what it truely is..... fantasy nothing more a dream... not reality

and once that it's recognized for what it truly is - some can not handle the disappointment.

 

[babydoll2u]

But isn't all that getting away from the fantasy factor.

I'm not questioning whether one can fall in love with someone they've not met... I've not done it but I'm just me.

Love is not fantasy and if fantasy causes love can you sincerely call it love?

I guess I'm confused and will bow out of the conversation

 

[done_got_old]

Reality is much better. From my profile you can see that I'm a bit older than most. I'm trying to understand the 'Cyber Generation' but it's not easy. I've had a computer since the 1980's and was on the internet when there wasn't much to see. I tried cybering at first but it did nothing for me. Fucking - it's the real thing. It's the only way for me.

 

[WantonWitch]

Reality is much better. From my profile you can see that I'm a bit older than most. I'm trying to understand the 'Cyber Generation' but it's not easy. I've had a computer since the 1980's and was on the internet when there wasn't much to see. I tried cybering at first but it did nothing for me. Fucking - it's the real thing. It's the only way for me.

Well said DGO. The human touch factor is necessary.

 

[mansome]

Done....

*S* I can agree with most of that......
I don't see anything wrong with cybering or using the net to help you masturbate and make the feeling more intense.....

but I do not agree with people who think it's a valid substitute......


Do you think you could truly love someone you never met physically?

 

[WantonWitch]

Do you think you could truly love someone you never met physically?

No.

 

[spiritshadow67]

Done....

*S* I can agree with most of that......
I don't see anything wrong with cybering or using the net to help you masturbate and make the feeling more intense.....

but I do not agree with people who think it's a valid substitute......


Do you think you could truly love someone you never met physically?

yes.... i did

the relationship lasted about 2 years but ended badly

 

[done_got_old]

Done....

*S* I can agree with most of that......
I don't see anything wrong with cybering or using the net to help you masturbate and make the feeling more intense.....

but I do not agree with people who think it's a valid substitute......


Do you think you could truly love someone you never met physically?

No

 

[mansome]

done_
don't know about the other guys and ladies in here.. but I could almost fall in love with that Av...

very nice *S*

 

[done_got_old]

done_
don't know about the other guys and ladies in here.. but I could almost fall in love with that Av...

very nice *S*

I put it back for the 'Fetish' thread. I'm glad you like it.

 

[feather2599]

I fell in love with someone online before I met him....
we talked on the phone, im, pm, email for quite a while before we met... He fell in love with me as well, he said.

it has alot to do with getting to know someone mentally, psychologically, emotionally... finding out their interests, wants, needs, desires, hurts, past, present... all without the physical getting in the way. It's a wonderful way to get to know someone.

You can say you get to know someone by im, phone, e-mail etc. but, all you really know is what that person is telling you. You do not know how much of it is true or made up. A person can be anyone or anything on here. It is easy to play a role but when real life comes crashing down it really shows who they love and who they want to spend their life with.
Could be why it did not work out???